Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And Julie, my listeners don't need to know anything about me, because they've been listening for years and years and years to these podcasts. And again, for all of you out there, who listen, thank you. I appreciate it. I also appreciate your comments. And I also appreciate all of you who have recently been joining the YouTube channel to listen and watch these interviews and from Coronado, California. I have Julie, Dr. Julie Ducharme joining us and we're gonna be speaking about her book called Authentically You: Empower your Way to Success. Julie, how are you doing today?

Julie Ducharme
I'm doing fantastic. As we said, I live in a great place Coronado. So beautiful weather and beautiful people, so I cannot complain.

Greg Voisen
Good, good. Well, I'm gonna let our listeners know a little bit about you so that they can get a context for this book. And then we're gonna get into it and talk about questions. And these are really more focused for women today. My most of I have 60% Women who listen to the show. So that's a good high percentage. But Julie is a change maker. She's dedicated her career to empower and support people in their endeavors and dreams. People from all over including corporate sectors and those returning in the workforce, have taken advice and guidance from Dr. Julie, and learn how to use their strengths to maximize their work life success. Her unique speaking style ignites the passion inside all of us and makes that tiny spark into a blaze of empowerment. Since earning our MBA and doctoral degrees in business and organizational leadership, Dr. Julie has become a nation national bestselling author recognized by Inc Magazine host of a podcast, numerous TV appearances and CBS, ABC and Fox and professional public speaker and serial entrepreneur. Her most recent book is leading by my ponytail, why can't I wear pink and be the president was named ink Magazine's Top 60 leadership books for women. Julie is passionate about our National Veterans and her most recent vision is the startup of a 501 C three called synergy Learning Institute. This nonprofit provides one of a kind courses such as combat boots to heels for veterans, transforming from the military career to civilian workforce. This program is offered free to all veterans, portions of Julie's speaking fees go directly to the program and the veterans. Well, Julie, thanks for being on the show. And thanks for taking the time to speak with our women listeners, I think in particular, and you know, you open this book up, you tell a story about a professor when you were in college, who literally told you weren't smart enough to be in college. And you should drop out. This statement stung and shocked you mean you when you do an introduction to a book, you're capturing reader's attention? It certainly captured mine. And it how did that Professor state statement for who you are today and what you do want other women to know about becoming their authentic selves?

Julie Ducharme
Who was actually really powerful. You know, I was only 18 I was very impressionable. I had worked really hard to get this scholarship I came from, you know, my family told me if I wanted to go to college, I had to find the money for it. And so I was very proud for being this young woman from a little tiny farm town in the middle of nowhere to be able to do this. And so you know, getting that statement at that time, you know, those professors to me were icons, they were these powerful people. And so I really been very competitive. And the best thing is, I talked to my mom. And I would say thank goodness for moms, they have such great perspective. You know, I'm crying on the thunder, and she's like, he's an idiot, go get a tutor. Right? It was such a simple, like a way for her to solve my problem. But I really heard those words over and over for many years. They stuck with me for a long time. And so being competitive, I kept saying, well, I'm just I'm going to show you I'm smart enough, I'm going to show you. And I always joke about why that's why I have an eight or 10 page resume because I was so determined to prove to this person who didn't know me and didn't care about me and could have cared less about me that I was smart enough. So in essence, I could possibly thank this person for saying those things because his harsh mean words didn't motivate me to be better. But it also did affect my self-worth for a long time until I had that kind of epiphany moment and I talked about the book that I ran into this person 10 years later and he asked, he remembered me and asked me how I was. And I had this kind of like, moving moment, like, all these things are going through my head of all these things I had accomplished. And I kind of had this like, oh my gosh, I have been smart enough all along. And so it really brought this moment of like self-worth, and me being able to look at myself and say, I always was, I just had to figure out my path, how I got there. So it was very impactful. And I tell people, words are powerful, you know, words can really affect people, you can destroy someone or uplift someone with just a few words.

Greg Voisen
Most certainly, and I think the most important thing is raising one's self esteem, and self confidence in and usually the degradation of that occurs over a long period of time, from either someone not seeing themselves as being enough. And it really is about being enough that I am okay, just the way I am. Right, that I can accomplish these things. But finding that spark inside as your bio said, kind of the spark the inspiration to go to that next step. And for my listeners, if you want to learn more about the book. And Julie, I want to make sure you get to her website. And it's Dr. Julie, do Sharm and that spelled d u C, H A R M E. So go to that website, we'll put a link there as well. Now, you have an acronym for the word empower. And that makes up the next chapters of your book. Really, you go from one to the next to the next in each of the acronym. What's the acronym stand for? And how can this help women to move toward their authentic self, by utilizing the power of this acronym, you know, you look at the word empower. So we could, it's an easy word to remember. Now, the acronym is the most important part what all those letters stand for.

Julie Ducharme
Right. And I really took kind of how my path was. And that's how I developed this. Because when we look at anything we're going to do in our life, based on who's taught and actuate. For a long time, I'm about teaching and training and mentoring, right, we can talk all day long about something. But if we don't have a process to implement, that's not going to happen. And so the acronym stands for the E stands for examine, which is really important, where we need to examine where we're at in our life, we always need to examine, I always tell people, you should be doing a check in every six months examining where you're at. The next one is making change. I work with a lot of people who want to make change but are not willing to walk through the door and actually do that change. So you've got to make change, and actually move on it, the other one starts for practice change. Being a former high level athlete, nothing comes without practicing over and over, we have to build good habits in our life. Just like we talked about worth, which is the next one, you know, how we feel about ourselves sometimes is going to be taking and practicing that you always do the thing. So if you walk around with a smile on your face, forcing it you'll eventually smell but it's true. how we feel about ourselves comes hand in hand with that. The next is engaging, right, we have to engage in what we're doing. Uh, you know, I could have listened to that professor and be like, You're right. I'm just gonna drop out of school, but I didn't, I examined what was going on, I made changes to my work, I practiced how to be better, and then I engaged in it. And the last one is reflection. A lot of times people avoid reflecting on things because they don't want to reflect on past events, or things that were negative in their life. But that's how we learn is by reflecting on where we were at because we want to reflect and then move forward. And that was the process that I did when I was really becoming my authentic self. And that's why I felt it was so important to really take the readers through these steps and how to implement in their lives because I really want people to go, Okay, there's something I can implement tomorrow. Not Oh, you know, maybe in a couple years. And so that's what that empower acronym stands for.

Greg Voisen
And just out of curiosity, how did you come up with that empower Ackermann acronym? Getting that? You know, I always see people come up with these acronyms. And it's like, well, sometimes they just pop in your head. And then you find words or sometimes you're finding you're looking for something that people could remember very easily.

Julie Ducharme
Yeah. Well, my husband is an elementary teacher. And when I was writing this, and I was talking about all of this, he was the one who really said, I really think you need an acronym in there, so I've got to give him credit for that. So then I kind of I sat down with that and Power Word and started thinking about my process. I wouldn't say that it came overnight because we're writing everything is a process, at least for me. So it took me a little bit but as I started to build it, then it just kind of was like clicking like, yes, yes. So but definitely the acronym idea came from my husband who you know, teaches and works with kids and uses acronyms. For every education, there's an acronym for everything

Greg Voisen
there as well, it's actually great, because it's an easy one to remember. And for those of you out there, the book is not like, super challenging to read, you can see it's pretty thin. So I'm gonna encourage you to go up to Amazon and get that will have a link for that as well. Now, one of the things I've found in the book is Jevon exercise in your book, which gets the reader to explore barriers to their success. And I thought it was a good one. Now this might have been from your husband as well, no, but can you speak with our listeners about removing these barriers to success? And how does exercise can help them because it's a one simple sheet of paper, eight and a half by 11 sheet of paper. And it's how you go through it. So speak about it. And because sometimes, it's when you're right in the middle of it, it's actually hard to see it, you can't see the forest for the trees as they say, right, because you're stuck. And a lot of people out there listening are probably stuck there may be stuck in their careers. They're stuck in a lot of things. And being stuck is a hard place to be in and it's always sometimes feels like quicksand. You know, it feels like it's dragging you down. You know, so talk about this one sheet exercise that can help people and lift them up and clean off their boots.

Julie Ducharme
Yeah, yeah, and I do this a lot with my students. And it's really interesting, because it's very simplistic, but at the same time, everyone will have these like, aha moments when they put it down on paper. And so basically, it's putting down, the kind of summary of it is you're putting down what you're doing. And you're putting down any barriers from things you want to do. So you have your current, you have the things you really want to do and what stopping you from doing that. Right? So you kind of put it down on a paper, it's very simplistic, but at the same time you start realizing that there are certain things that you say there are barriers to that there isn't you could do but you're saying well, I just don't have time. And then my question is, well, how do you make time? And then that question always kind of go, oh, she's asking me a question that I could probably answer, right? Or what is that? And so you start seeing your barriers? And what can be removed? And that's one of the questions, exercises, how can you remove that barrier. And I was actually just having a talk with someone the other day, I said, if I look back on my path, I can't pick one person who stopped me, I cannot tell you that there was a specific person that stopped me in my tracks and kept me from doing it. Because there wasn't

Greg Voisen
the only person that stops us is us. I have a question for you. Because look, you're quite an achiever, you know, you were quite an athlete, you have degrees, started a nonprofit, you know, if you really look at your bio, it's like, you know, as Julie, the achiever, and I'm sure everybody kind of looks at the joy, TED talk, the whole nine yards. But some people kind of run from it. If you know what I mean, it's escapism. What is it that you do if you said, hey, you don't have the time? And then you're saying, no, we've got you've got the time. I said, you're using your time to do something else, right? Because you're probably you know, when they say people have a fear of success, you're afraid of the success that it just might actually bring you. What comment would you have for our listeners out there might be stuck and afraid and are running the other direction.

Julie Ducharme
I said to someone the other day, the only difference between you and a billionaire is attitude. Because they were really coming up with a lot of excuses of why they couldn't and why they shouldn't and why they couldn't achieve and why they couldn't make this certain amount of money. And it really was attitude. And once I mean, I always tell people, you know, so they can afford this. And you know what, people tell me that all the time. But if you really wanted to afford that, what could you cut out of your life to save up for that? And it comes down to attitude and want if we want something bad enough, we're gonna go after it, and we're gonna get it. And yeah, I'm competitive, and I'm definitely an overachiever. And I did that because I was really trying to compensate for my lack of worth. I felt like I didn't I wasn't worthy. And that if I did more things by added to my resume, I would be worthy and when I eventually realized it wasn't how many things I had on it. It's how I felt about myself because I would never be worthy as long as I thought I wasn't worthy. But people really have to make a decision. I've worked with many people who are amazing, brilliant people who exactly did that they just walked away. They just were like, no, I'm not going to do it. And it was sad and frustrating. But when it comes down to it, you're the only person who can make yourself do it. And so I can coach you, I can mentor you we can, I have a, we have a young woman, we gave her everything she needed to be successful. And we thought she was going to be successful. And then we realized we gave her everything she needed. And so she didn't take advantage of these wonderful opportunities. And we were really sad about it. But then I realized that she didn't work for it. So it didn't mean much to her. And, you know, those are some of the things I say to people, but it really comes down to do you want it? And if you want it going back to that acronym, then you've got to make change, and you've got to engage.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, and you know, in the world we're living in today, with the constant change to thrive during change, Julie's words echo quite resonate quite well. You know, first, its focus, you know, one of those things is to focus in on something. I think there are more opportunities today than ever have been, but yet, there's so much noise that people are distracted by trying to ferret it out, and then say, this is what I really want to do. Because then you got to figure out, well, what is it that I really want to do? And what is it that you want in life? You know, and those are key questions, what is your purpose? You know, what is your vision, you know, things that we talk about all the time on this show. And as we talk about, and like you said, it's something that you have to work at, you have to practice, you know, you have to change habits, you have to change behavior. And you devote much of your book to this 30 days of empowering change, which is changing behavior. When you look at the statements on each one of the pages and the reflections for people to think about, we all know how hard it is to change and the resistance that we put up. You know, it's been said, I don't know if this is true, but I think it was Tony Robbins, you know, 23 days we'll make a change are 30 days, so make a change. Sometimes I see that happen. And I see people fall back again. What is what are some of the advice to the readers? On the 30 days of empowering change? Reflections for each day that you would tell them because it is very cool, the way you've laid it out, you're given the acronym, then you give them the 30 days, and the 30 days is the reinforcement. And what do you see? And what advice would you have for somebody kind of going through that?

Julie Ducharme
Well, when I was you know, being a very active athlete, and I came in as an underdog, there were certain things that had to change. In the end, this is how this develops is, you know, my coach would say, well, you know what? Sure you're hitting the ball fine, but you're not doing the right footwork. And if you don't, if you do the right footwork, you're going to be better at it. And I do, but I can't get it right. I every time I go, I just do it. And he said, you have to make it a habit every day, you have to practice this. So every day I would practice this and I would practice this. And I went from being an underdog to holding the record of the most solo blocks in one game because I learned how to do the proper footwork. And, you know, I share that just because it wasn't easy. It was sometimes monotonous, sometimes frustrating. Sometimes I would wake up and not want to do it, which is we have all those mornings, right where we're like, I just don't, I don't want to do that today. But I've found the message to be proven and worked over and over. And yes, we will have times where we fall back. That's just It's human nature. But the more you do it, the more likely it will become a habit. And that happens with worth saying to yourself regularly. I am good. I always joke about What About Bob? There's a stain on What About Bob where he's walking down the street, keep saying I'm good, I am great. I am wonderful. He clearly does not believe it. But he keeps telling himself over and over with the hope that he will believe it at some point. And the other funny part from what about thought that I love but it's actually true throughout this whole book. And throughout this whole movies, it's baby steps, baby steps. And I like to do baby steps because not everyone can jump into the big picture. So if we can 30 Day baby step our way through it, you're gonna see those changes. And it really has, I've actually had several women go through this. And it's been fantastic to get the reviews because they start 15 days in, they start seeing some change, you know, 20 days in, you know, and they get done with that 30 days. And there's this transform mind transformation, which is really what we're doing. We're retraining our mind. And I'm big on that I don't spend a lot of time in neuroscience of being a doctor and getting a chance to be in a lot of studies. I've learned a lot about the mind and how it works and how we can retrain any mind out there if we want it

Greg Voisen
Yeah, we get hijacked. You know, I was listening to a doctor that wrote bright lines about dieting interesting. Peterson, and I think was their last name. And it was fascinating how you get hijacked. You know, we talk about one thing that will hijack you, which is food, overeating, and that the dopamine receptors get overworked because you're feeding on sugar and flour, right? So it's interesting that when you wean yourself off of it, because the cravings are so much, right. It's like you're, you know, she says, you’re addicted to crack, it's the same thing. I mean, everybody's heard this. But the reality is, when you see the brain and how it's firing, you really understand that it's like that stimulus, and then once more once more than once more, right? So it makes it very challenging. You know, in your chapter on worth, you discuss the importance of self-worth, you discuss the statistics about suicide, which I used to be on a teenage suicide prevention, nonprofit board. And actually, with teenagers at the time, and I don't know if this is still true today, because I sat on that board for about five years. It was the highest incidence of suicide was amongst teenagers. What advice do you have to help our listeners improve their personal self-worth, because you know, whether you're talking to a 16 year old today who might be listening to this show, or you're talking to a 60 year old, who might be listening to the show, and you're correlation to suicide is very important. I mean, people can get to a point where they're so low in their self-worth, that they either attempt or commit suicide, or they think about it. Obviously, I don't think there's probably a person that's listening to the show, although it could be wrong, who maybe hasn't thought about it? Right? Because we do go through those periods. What advice do you have for people about keeping the self-worth up, our self self-esteem, our relevancy, however you want to make look at it, so that we don't go down that

Julie Ducharme
path? Well, and I believe, in the very beginning book, I talked about a beautiful young woman that was a friend of mine that killed herself. And it happened right around when I was starting to write the book. And it was, you know, really powerful, because she was this beautiful, amazing person that none of us, none of us had any idea was in that position in her life. And I mean, I just talked about as successful, gorgeous, the whole dream package. And when that happened, it was a real eye opener to me that no one is safe from those thoughts. And that it doesn't matter what amount of success you have, if you don't have worth, if you don't feel like you're worthy in this world, everything else doesn't matter. And so having that worth and understanding it. Now, my faith plays a big role in how I feel about myself, because I feel that I was specially created by the good Lord. And that if you specially created me, that means that I have some worth in this world. But even to add to that is that as you mentioned, there's a lot of noise in this world. And it tells a lot of bad negative stories, and I have a 13 year old daughter, that I'm working very hard to make sure that she knows her worth because the world sells a lot of lies, especially to women of what worth is, through beauty, through looks through what you wear. And that is so fading. Because as you get older, I'm 45. Now, I don't have that 23 year old body anymore, I don't have all those younger things, where did my worth go? Right? If I put my worth and my looks, what happens when my money disappears? What happens if my worth is in my job, and I lose my job. And so that's why I really talk about you have to have worth in yourself. And the people you surround yourself with is a big part of that, right? You know, if you're surrounded by a negative group, or you're surrounded by bad influences, that's not going to help you your worth. And I worked really hard later in life to surround myself with women, who were my biggest cheerleaders and my biggest supporters, and of course, my husband plays a huge role in that as well. So when I think about worth first is you really need to self-examine, you know, what you have? Is it fleeting? Will it go away? Right? How can you invest in long term? Who's who you're surrounding yourself with and are they contributing to your worth? Are they supporting you or are they sucking you dry? And you know, looking at where you're at your identity can't be in someone else or something else because that can go away? And it's a journey, right? We all have dreams. I talk in the book that I definitely have body issues. And even though I've worked on that for years and years, as you mentioned, when it comes to swimsuit season time, I think 234 times before I put that swimsuit on, because that's something that I constantly have to work on. And so that it's in my, you know, experience, you're always going to be working on it. But if you're always working on it, it's a positive thing. And obviously, if you are someone who is thinking about suicide or anything like that, we definitely want to encourage you to call the hotlines and talk to someone because your life is worthy. And it is important, and we do want you here. But I wish I could take every woman and give him a hug and tell them how worthy they are. And tell them to turn off the TV, turn off social media and just go enjoy life because those are two powerful, negative influences, in my opinion on women's worth.

Greg Voisen
Great statement. Yes, it's so true. And I remember going to a conference and hearing Liova Scalia speak, I don't know if many of my listeners know you might remember him. But and you may have heard this story. But this is a story about him teaching loved one on one at UCLA. And Liova. Scalia is the author of the love now since deceased. And in his story, he tells about a girl in a classroom, who nobody knew where she was, does anyone were weeks, they asked where she was. And then the news came back that she had committed suicide going up to Malibu. But yet, here's this classroom with 100. And something people nobody knew her name, nobody knew her. Nobody knew anything. And yet at the same time, they never even knew she committed suicide. It was such a powerful impact. I didn't give it near the emphasis that I should have just telling it just now. But it just shows you even in this community of a classroom of hopefully kids getting together and be social and know one another. She's gone while she says she's not here, what happened, nobody knows where she is. And they finally found out she committed suicide. And so you know, it's just showing you like what you just said, your friend, you know, have everything. Right. But you never know what they're thinking, you know, your books loaded with great stories advice about becoming authentically you. I think for our listeners, it's always about a takeaway, Julie, what can they take away from our interview this morning, which would actually, they can apply it to their life, obviously, they can go get the book and read it. Okay, they can go to your website, they can contact, you get more information. And by the way, Julie is accessible. So it's not like that. So want you to tell three takeaways. And then I want you to tell us a little bit about your nonprofit, synergy learning center so that people understand what it is that you're doing. On top of your consulting and coaching and speaking and all the other things that you're doing.

Julie Ducharme
Yeah, well, I when I think of three takeaways. One is that change can only happen if you make the change, nobody's going to do it for you. And so that's the most important point, if you're sitting around waiting for someone to do it for you, it's not gonna happen, you need to do it. The next is owning your own power. I talk in the book a lot about this. And women have a tendency not to own the area that they really have wonderful power in. So if you're nervous about doing that, if you're afraid, maybe culturally, it doesn't seem appropriate. It's time to do that. It's time to own what you're great at. And the last thing is knowing your worth, as we talked about it, you will not get far in life. If you don't consider yourself worthy, it's time to take a seat at the table and join the rest of the women out there and give back and contribute because I'm pretty sure you have something amazing to get. So those would be the three takeaways that I would hope that you'd all take away from it. And yes, please, I am accessible. Absolutely. Email me, I will respond to you within 24 hours. If you are local, I will meet you for coffee. I am I'm one of those people that I love to network and meet. So please do reach out to me. And also my other passion project is synergy Learning Institute. It's been going for about 10 years. We help veterans transitioning out of the military. We started out with women in particular, very good friend of mine, Dr. Karen Walker, blue. She was 20 years in the Marine. She had a PhD high ranking officer she got out, she thought, hey, life's gonna be easy. I'll get a job. No problem took her a year, she was severely depressed and try and figure out why she wasn't transitioning into civilian life. And then she eventually did figure it out. And she came to me and said, I really feel that there needs to be something for women veterans. There are programs out there but they're very male focused and women veterans have a very unique need. And I learned that women veterans are the highest homeless population and also the highest suicide rate. And in particular, that has gone up even more during COVID. And many people don't know that because women veterans live in their cars. They go from house to house and sleep on people's couches, so you don't see them out on the streets a lot. So we created a program called combat boots to heels, which helps them transition. This one focuses obviously on the mentality. But we've expanded to help provide them with everything from resumes, Job Interview practices, we have a program that provides them with bras and menstrual products, we have another program that provides them with clothing. And we just started a new program called pantry heroes, which helps provide food and resources for them or their children. So this is all something that we do I run, I don't take a salary for it, I donate to it and support it, and I fundraise all here for it. And

Greg Voisen
then no, do you also provide counseling for them? Absolutely. We

Julie Ducharme
have groups that we refer them to that have professional trained counselors. So we have several partners for that. And if we do, we do regularly get called women who are in a panic state. And we jump right in and get them connected to someone the right person. And we don't, per se do it at Synergy, because we don't have any doctors, medical doctors there. But Dr. Karen Walker is an organizational psychologist. And so she's really great with referrals and of veterans. So she's great with referring them to the right group, and we get them connected.

Greg Voisen
And how about housing, do you also help with that too, as well. So if you say they're surfing from one sofa to the next, it'd be nice for them to get their own permanent residents. Because I know dealing with the homeless, that's one of the ways out of being homeless is to find someplace.

Julie Ducharme
Right. So we have definitely had some groups do that, as well as the small nonprofit, we don't have a lot of money support that. But we have some really great support groups that will get them money funding right away. Just mentioned a few veterans, villages, fantastic. They will even get veteran families. And they have housing that they will put them in, they have programs, they have rehab programs. So they're great. Women Warriors is another great group that can get them money to get an apartment to pay bills to get food. So we really make sure to partner with those groups and get them to them right away. And, and if they're local, and I have to go pick them up and drive them there. I will we do help women nationally, but obviously I'm here in San Diego in a big military group family. So I work with as many women as we can and bring in as much support so we can be there for them. So and we do just you know, we do help mountain men as well, male veterans coming out, we do have plenty of programs for them. And we do support them as well. But our women's charity was probably one of a handful across the nation that exist I can only think of maybe two other ones that provide and those focus more on being homeless and provide housing and they're fantastic. So

Greg Voisen
Well, Julie, you're doing tremendous work, and all of it is around supporting and helping people and uplifting people. You're coaching your speaking your nonprofit, there is a common theme for you at that and for all my listeners, go get the book authentically you go to Julie's website, it's Dr. Julie, do Sharm and that's d u ch AR me. There you can email or you can contact her you can watch videos that she's done and see the talks that she's done. But it's a pleasure having you on inside personal growth. spending a few minutes with us talking about your life, your book, and how you're helping people overall. And I'm gonna say to you,

Julie Ducharme
Thank you so much for having me.