Podcast 889: The Leap of Your Life: How to Redefine Risk, Quit Waiting For ‘Someday,’ and Live Boldly with Tommy Baker

My guest in this podcast is Tommy Baker,  and we had a very interesting conversation about his book entitled “The Leap of Your Life: How to Redefine Risk, Quit Waiting For ‘Someday,’ and Live Boldly

In the interview, we talk about  fear, risk and urgency. He believes in  building the muscle, and the emotional habit of leaning into your fear and low stakes situations and using those  for higher stakes situations in your life, your business, your career and your relationships.

If you want to know learn more about Tommy and his books, please click here to be directed to his website. You may also want to check his Resist Average Academy page for his coachings, trainings and blogs.

THE BOOK

What are you waiting for? The first lines of the Leap say it all: we don’t lack insights or clarity —we lack courage. A siren call for those who are ready for a bigger life.

There’s a leap in your life you must take, but you’ve been waiting. Every day you put it off —fear starts to win a little more and talk you out of it. Until one day, it’s gone. There is no more enthusiasm. There is no more spark. Another desire, another dream has faded. The Leap of Your Life: How to Redefine Risk, Quit Waiting For ‘Someday,’ and Live Boldly is my brand new book about making bold decisions and never looking back.

 

THE AUTHOR

Tommy Baker is a writer, action philosopher, and self-proclaimed taco enthusiast who some have called “annoyingly” positive. He’s coached, trained, and taught thousands of clients within his Resist Average Academy programs and popular iTunes podcast.

He’s the author of several books, including The Leap of Your Life: How to Redefine Risk, Quit Waiting for ‘Someday,’ and Live Boldly and The 1% Rule: How to Fall in Love with the Process and Achieve Your Wildest Dreams.

His work has been featured on Entrepreneur, Influencive, Forbes, Tiny Buddha, Project Life Mastery, and more. In his downtime, you can find him on top of Camelback Mountain in Scottsdale, Arizona.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transcription (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen and the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining us from Scottsdale Arizona, is Tommy Baker and Tommy was referred to me by someone else who's been on this show Luke the prawn. And for those of you who don't know, Luke is a exercise physiologist extraordinaire, wonderful guy, calm he was on his show. And most people know we kind of trade names, everybody trades names in this business. You know, who do you have, it was a good guest. Good day to you, Tommy, how you doing?

Tommy Baker
Greg, thank you so much for having me and excited to be here. Thank you.

Greg Voisen
Well, we're excited to have you on the show, and to spend a few minutes with our listening audience. And I want to let the listening audience know a little bit about you. But also, I also want to say we're going to focus most of our intention on the leap of your life book, live boldly, this was a Wiley book did come out in 2019. And Cami has a new book coming out. And it's not this book. This is another one at Tommy's books, the 1% rule. And I want to mention that, but he's got one called hustlers and secrets. So go to his website. And check it out, download the chapter, he gets a free chapter. And you can get it at resist average, academy.com resist average Academy, and we'll put a link to the blog there a bit about Tommy. He's an author, he's a speaker, he's a coach. He's the host of the resist average Academy, a top rated podcaster. And Tommy helps those with a bold vision, reverse engineer their success and step boldly into the direction of their dreams. And you know, I was just on this morning with a good friend wrote a book called die trying one man's quest conquer the Seven Summits. And Bo has actually conquered every of the highest peaks, k two was his last one Everest twice. And, you know, I asked him a question, Tommy, and this is, I think this is in line before we actually get into it. You know, what allows you to take the next step each time when you know that you're getting closer to death. And what do you think his answer was?

Tommy Baker
You know, that's, that's, I don't know, it could be anything from having a wife to knowing what, why you're there. I'm curious because I'm obsessed with I'm obsessed with mountaineering in the sense of that I live vicariously through them. You won't see me up there. But I live vicariously through these amazing feats.

Greg Voisen
Well, you know what he said, and in the process, he got very emotional about it. But he always had ADHD. And he was always kitted, as a young man, in school, in college, everything was hard for him. Everything was difficult. And he said that, you know, I always needed to do better I needed to make the next step. So it wasn't about him thinking about that he could die on Everest, okay, to one out of four people die on kaitou. They never make it back. Yeah, they never make it back. Um, and, you know, he is just, His story is compelling. I'm not here to kind of promote those book, but I think it goes along with what you teach. And in 2019, you wrote this book, right. And you stayed in this book that every day passing us by His reminder of what hasn't happened, and that we have, we've created a box called Sunday, maybe I always loved the Sunday meeting, if you tell us a little about your story, how you've experienced the edge, because when you go to your website, you actually see lots of pictures of the edge, the edge of a cliff edge or mountain. And then I saw a picture of you parachuting of which I've done. And you said, experiencing the edge and then clicking the record button on your iPhone, and you literally was like freezing cold. And I remember you were outside in the middle of something a park or somewhere and you left this big party. And what propelled you to take your dreams off hold at that point in your life.

Tommy Baker
Yeah, it's a great question. And this Sunday mentality, it's, you know, it can lead to dire consequences, as you know, Greg, because our ego will say, wait until it's the right time, wait until the kids are out of the house. Wait until the pandemic is over. Wait until there's a new president in office and I could Just go on and on and on doesn't matter what the reason is. It's the same exact prescription, just wait. And when we wait, like we always have insights in our day to day, even on a micro level, have an insight, talk to this person, reach out to this person, pitch yourself for this, send a note to the recruiter, whatever it may be. In that moment, the insight is 100%, clear. But every moment after we start to question ourselves, so to say, Who am I to do that, or maybe I need another certification, maybe I need to go back to grad school, all of these things. And so it's like, fear loves distance, space and time, between insight and execution. So in regards to your story, I had built a business, that I was no longer passionate or felt the same purpose around. And I knew that about eight months before this specific scene that I'm describing inside of the book, I also wanted to make a change in my environment. And I knew that probably seven years before that. And so I had a moment where I realized that I was going to wake up in five years, using a visualization technique that I that I use and teach. And I call it in the book, I call it reverse visualization, which is, I think it's a beautiful to visualize on the positive, but I was visualizing on the quote, unquote, reality of my life. That would be if I stayed in the same place, and so that evening, you know, and I felt stuck. And I felt stifled and I felt emotionally hollow at times. That evening, I said, I declared into an iPhone, I recorded a voice note, it's four minutes and 27 seconds, I believe it's four minutes, something. And I just painted a vision for what the future could look like. And it was different than the one that I was living, of course. But I had no blueprints, I had no action steps, I didn't know what to do next, I just let it out. And that was the genesis of my own my leap of my life, in that in that season of my life, because we go on constant leaps. But that's where it all started, Greg.

Greg Voisen
And, interestingly enough, I think for a lot of people, it they get to a certain pain point in their life, whether it's the pain of the environment, it's a pain of something that's agitated them enough. And I think all my listeners can relate to this, that they realize they have to take a step forward and change their environment, change their business, change the relationship, change their money, situation, whatever it might be, whatever it is, that was causing them pain, and they can't wallow in it anymore, because it's a great pain. You know, it's an interesting analogy between, you know, when a pain starts physically inside your body, and how long it takes you to go see a doctor. The issue here now is you're your own doctor. And you realize that that ego is speaking to you all day long. Every day, it never goes away. You know, you're not enough, you can't do it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever it is the boys Sure. And you know, you teach this. Now you interviewed over 250 of the world's most powerful entrepreneurs, thought leaders, spiritual teachers, athletes, you know, most remind me kind of like, somebody like me, that's what I've been doing. But at the same time, every time I get Steven Kotler on here, I look at Wow, extreme sports. How do we hack flow? How do we get into this position? And you discovered what it took a leap of faith, even if they were filled with fear, and these decisions that they use to change their life. And I remember a story about Simone Biles, you know, she was talking about this last Olympics, right? And it didn't quite turn out for Simone the way she had anticipated this last Olympics. She didn't quite end up there. But as an athlete, she practiced all the way through the pandemic. And she was doing moves that were unheard of. Somewhere along the line, she even admitted because her family wasn't there. The fear hit in. Ah, right. Here's an Olympic athlete, the fear set in around even doing some of these moves, these extreme moves that she'd practiced in practice. Can you tell us a few of the stories and the decisions that these people made in spite of that fear that they had because you obviously interviewed 250 of them?

Tommy Baker
Yeah, it's about a quarter of yours but yes, I have working my way up, but yeah, I mean, what I noticed Greg was, you know, the This pattern come up time and time again. And one of the reasons why I didn't just make the book about business leaps is because sometimes we do need to take a leap in another area of our lives, that can create the forcefield. And the energy to give us the perspective and the reminder that we can change many different aspects of our lives. But sometimes we need to start with something that might seem if, for example, instead of taking a business late, maybe, you know, I had stories of people who sign up for an Iron Man, and they had never done one, not even close, right. So that's a physical leap. It's a challenging event to sign up for and to complete. But that the confidence that they got from that then gave them the mindsets and the skills and the belief that they could do it in another area, stuff like that. So the main pattern that I recognized was fear is actually a compass to lean into that usually now this, you know, the caveat is that we are when you're pursuing something that's in alignment, right, if you're doing something that's completely out of bounds of what you want, or whatever, you know, it's this is a different story. But when you're when there's something in alignment, it's the writer who, you know, can be very close to, you know, writing their book, but they're working for a publishing company. But really, what they want to do is actually write their own work. That using fear as a compass, and leaning in instead of stepping away. And the stakes, you know, this happens in all different types of stakes. It can be very high stakes, but it costs to be low stakes, in the sense that if we're willing to have the courage to step towards the fear, the path will slowly start to reveal itself and reveal itself and reveal itself. So on the podcast, I've just talked to so many people, I mean, every person has a leap story, and I know somebody listening right now, they have their own leap story. But sometimes we forget, and we don't we don't use the same principles for the next change that we're going to make. And so I wanted to distill, you know, over and over again, leaps in physicality, physicality, leaps in business leaps in spiritual. And all of these different arenas relationship leaps, that contributed directly to performance, to growth to fulfillment, and incredible experiences across all types of domains.

Greg Voisen
And I'm You did a great job of it. And I think the book for our listeners gives you an opportunity to delve into this. And I and I think, you know, along these lines, there has always been this old saying that fear is the false expectation appearing real. And I know, you've heard that, and you've probably used it. And but the reality there is this, you know, we don't have to believe everything we think. And what ends up happening is we paint pictures inside of our minds of things that we think are going to be drastic that are going to happen, and you know why I can't do it, whatever. And statistics have proven this. And I wanted to state this at all the science that's gone around this says that 93% of the time, that never happens. Yeah, so 93% of the picture we painted. The negative reality of what could occur doesn't usually happen, you know, may happen 7% if you can tell the listeners what the ingredients are of the leap are and why if they play it safe, they will have a lifetime of regrets. And I love your statement that the greatest risk is not taking one. Now. I want to say something about risk. You can take calculated risk. You don't just have to take this big risk. You at one point you talk about Felix Baumgartner that was very calculated. There everything was worked out to the last degree right. But tell us exactly his regrets. And are why we would regret it.

Tommy Baker
Yeah, 100% not I love that you brought up Felix because you know it? To be honest, in his world, it Yes, it was a risk. But it wasn't the risk that we think because to him a random Tuesday means space jumping out of a plane, given his skill set his capacity, his experience to the outside world, it was like oh my god, and it was but to him, he had supreme confidence that he was going to make it I mean, otherwise, of course they would have never done it. So what are some ingredients um, you know, some of the stuff that comes up usually, is our intuition. Or you know, what I call like, these whispers that we have, tends to as time goes by You know, during the quiet moments of life and when we're with ourselves or in solitude or whatever it may be, maybe, you know, when we're the plan is leveling off at 37,000 feet or the we put the kids to bed and we have some quiet usually the whisper starts to come up. So just say, hey, Greg, Hey, Steve, hey, Maria, Sara, hey, look, look at this, look at look at this over here. And we squash it, right? We don't have the time, it doesn't make any sense. It's not going to make any money, why would I do that. And then over time, this, the whispers just get a little bit louder, and louder and louder and louder. And ultimately, they wind up in what you talked about, which was a pain moment, right. And that's, that can be a rock bottom of sorts that can be you wanted to start your business, you had whispers for years, and then you walk into your employer, and they just said, We no longer lead you Goodbye, you know, it could be one of those more painful moments where you realize, wow, I had had the idea to do this five years ago, I gave myself to this company. And now this huge part of my life is no longer there. But I never made any progress on the thing. So then the intuition is big. I call you know, leaning into your edge, which is it's, it's a it's a part of you, that's you know, if you if there if the fear wasn't there, if it wasn't overwhelming, or it was the thing that you would have already started to make progress on, it's something that calls you deep within another ingredient is that you can be hesitant to share it with other people because it's vulnerable. Although I think you obviously should share it with people. So these are some of the things that, you know, I say, when I when I talk to people, it's like, okay, you know, that there's something that needs to happen, you know, there's a move to you need to make. Now what and so when we talk about regrets, because I studied a lot of regret, especially for this book, it's very obvious, we regret the things that we that we didn't do, you know, even if we take a chance, and we fail, the regret and the research shows, it is so much lower than if we just think about something and not doing it. And so in the book on chapter three, I started I start the chapter off with a real account of someone's regret, it's actually a famous post that was posted on Reddit, you know, like, seven, eight years ago, something like that, about a real life character. And the reason why I use that is because we need reminders of this, Greg, we need reminders of regret, because time is going to pass. And if we lack urgency, and we don't do it, if we don't take any type of leap, if we don't take a chance, then that's how it that's how we wake up and we wake up in an emotionally hollow or difficult place. And it's always the things that we did not do, or the things that we did not say And to your point. This is not about taking risks. You know, we all have a risk tolerance. But like I said, the greatest risk is actually looking back and saying, You know what, I had a window of opportunity. I had, I had this this season in my life, or I had these, this intuition that was calling me forward, or this thing that I wanted to create, I didn't actually do it. And now what and I say in the book, it's never too late. But in life, we do have these windows, these windows could last five seconds, when I met my fiance, I have my wife, now I have five seconds, Greg, if I missed it by five seconds on the front end or the back end, I'm gone. Or it might be a three year window or a seven year window. But if you miss your window, you might never get that specific circumstance back. And that's the thing that kind of can really haunt us. I think

Greg Voisen
from a spiritual as I'm reflecting on what you're saying a spiritual standpoint, and depending on my listeners philosophies, I understand many of them. Then listen to my show Eastern philosophy. So there is something that Dalai Lama talks about in his spoken in the Buddhist traditions around contentment. And a well I do not disagree at all, to resist average, or to take a risk. I also think that getting attached to an outcome is a setup for failure. Because we never know what the outcome is going to be. So in other words, if you say, Well, I'm going to make a million dollars by the time I'm 26 years old, that doesn't happen, then you're going to have regret you didn't make the million dollars. So the question is, don't set yourself up for those regrets as a result of that, or I was supposed to marry that girl, but instead some other girl came along, and it who knows could have done just as good. Is Your Life on purpose or is it by accident. We know as long as you set these things, your life is on purpose. On the other hand, you tell the reader that their leap is inside of them, that the edge is where the decision happens. And to honor the real reason they're here. That's purpose. What advice would you give our listeners about acting on their dreams? And what they're missing by not taking? action?

Tommy Baker
Yeah, no, I love that. And, you know, I think I think the biggest thing is, you know, when you when you're talking about, you know, the being attached to a result, the great thing about taking leaps in life is that, Listen, I've taken a lot of leaps that that did not work out.

Greg Voisen
I have more that didn't work out if you've read my book then did

Tommy Baker
Yes. Yeah, you know, I got to write here. Yeah. And so And the thing is, I put workout in quotes, though, because what the hell are we talking about when we talk about worked, you know, and that's, that goes to the point of your, your comment about attachment, you know, that when you take a leap, you might fail at this specific leap at this specific time. So let's say for example, you've been in your nine to five for 15 years, you take a leap to go full time on your own, maybe your first product, or your first brand service, whatever it may be, maybe that quote, unquote, fails. And yet, taking that action and taking that leap, opened up a connection or a door that was previously unavailable and invisible to you. Because you had the courage to take that first leap. And then you arrive at something that you could have never even imagined. I mean, that's one of the cool things about taking leaps is that you can set a perfect vision, and you can have all that stuff set up. And sometimes, when you do that, when you when you finish your leap, you realize this is even better than I could have imagined. But I couldn't have imagined it because I didn't I didn't know what I didn't know. So there's that. And then, I believe so the comment about clarity. I hear from people all the time, Greg, I don't know what your experience is, I hear the following phrase, Tommy, I don't have clarity. And I understand that. And I've also said those words, too. So I completely empathize with that feeling. However, I've had about 100, people at least come out here to Arizona. And I take him through an experience where we hike this mountain, and it's a it's a, you know, experiential training thing. When we get to the top of the mountain, my driving coach them at all, except through to get to the top. And when we get to the top there, they have tears streaming down their eyes, and they have more clarity than you and I could ever even imagine. I mean, they have details of clarity, just oozing and pouring out of them. So did that just, you know, how did that happen? Right? I didn't, I didn't, I didn't do anything, except take it through an experience that anybody can do. And it doesn't take a mountain by the way you can do it today on without that. But my argument and what the book says is that everybody already has some clarity inside of them. That does not mean that we don't get more clarity as we move on. But it what it means is don't wait to have the perfect picture and the full clarity to act Otherwise, you'll be waiting forever.

Greg Voisen
Great. The action steps that you can take and I in it, you know, life is a series of iterations. I was reminding a writer this morning, the guy, the mountain climber who's writing another new book about kaitou. That, you know, if you follow Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey, you understand that everything that we take on in this act in this play in this stage in our life, all of those Act One, act two, Act Three, act four, that we're in, we're playing a role. That role is meant to teach us something, right? We're going to walk away with new knowledge, new expertise, new wisdom, and we're going to apply that to our life to the next step. whatever that may be, in life is a series of acts until you close the chapter. And there are no more acts for you, which is what you're trying to get people to do is realize this series of Acts, enter, what would you tell the listeners about reframing fear? You mentioned three of them in the book. And I think the way that you reframe fear is very encouraging, and will provide a shift in the mindset of the listeners about how they can face fears head on you specifically had them in the book. And there were three of them and I think they're great reframes.

Tommy Baker
No, fantastic. Thank you for that. And so we have to reimagine and reframe our relationship with fear. I mean, you know, Seth Godin talks about this right? He says, you know, and he calls it the resistance. It's the same thing fear resistance, you know, War of Art, by Or is it Art of War? You know? Yeah, there we go. Steven Pressfield. Yes, yeah, all of those are saying the same thing, right? They're basically saying, and it's what I'm saying, too. It's like, we have to reimagine our relationship with fear. So the first reframe, I already mentioned it, but it's fears your compass, right? So I give the example in the book of, you know, you have this, this dread and this fear over having a tough conversation with your boss, or maybe you're an entrepreneur and you're, you know, you have a fear of having a tough conversation with an employee. But if we reframe that, that actually, one is going to lead to clarity to it's going to make you better at dealing with high stakes conversations. So number one, fear is your compass. to.dot.to, lean into your edge to acquire skills to build your resilience to create fulfillment, performance, etc, etc. So that's number one. Number two is fear is, is it's an ally. It's not something to avoid all the time. You know, yes, there are times when fear is it, like you said, there's 7% of the time when fear is, you know, becomes realized I hike here in Arizona, so when I see a rattlesnake in the morning, it's important for me to feel that fear, it's exhilarating, and it gets me moving outside of it. However, every time I see one, the next like, two or three hikes, I'm seeing them everywhere, Greg, they're all over the place. It doesn't serve me, it served me for that snapshot, that's second to avoid the snake on the trail. But every other time, it's actually taking me away from having the experience that I'm designed to. So the second reframe is that fear becomes an ally into what we have to do and what we should do and what we should lean into. And then the third one is that, you know, fear is a prerequisite, to, um, you know, if someone shares a goal with me, Greg, and there isn't, and they're just Ah, that's, that's Yeah, they're, they have this attitude that it's like, it's the easiest thing ever, and they're almost nonchalant about it, I don't consider that. I don't, I need to dig deeper into that. Because if it's truly valuable, for us on a deep level, if it's really important for us, it's going to stretch our comfort zone, then there's always going to be some type of fear. And so those are the three reframes that I look for. And then I'm constantly trying to adapt. By the way, this isn't, you don't you don't start with the highest stakes situations, right? I'm not advising to head to K to anytime soon. But what I'm advising is start to build the muscle, and the emotional habit of leaning into your fear and low stakes situations. So you're lying in a coffee shop, and you see a stranger with a book that you've read. And the voice inside says, go speak to them. But the ego voices, add the pride busy, it doesn't make any sense. lean into that, right? lean into small ways in your day to day and start reframing your relationship and see what happens I, I guarantee that conversation at minimum leads to a cool connection of shared values, right? And the more that you do this, the more that you build this muscle of leaning into your fear. And then you can use that for higher stakes situations in your life, your business, your career and your relationships.

Greg Voisen
Excellent, excellent reframes for people. And thank you for that. And I think that example, you said about the book, you know, someone reading a book, and maybe go over and over going over and speaking with him. And you have this fear, well, I don't want to bother my daughter. That's a great little cliche. And what I might say, is, you know, when I say cliche, nothing ventured, nothing gained. So there is absolutely no gain. And the worst thing that could happen is they say, Go away, Tommy, I don't want to talk to you. And if you have to build resiliency maybe to do that, because that is something that not a lot of people have the ability to do, like maybe I'm sure you do, because you're very outgoing. And you can do that. But that isn't our normal personalities. That's what people that listen to us on these podcasts probably think, Oh, well, these guys do a podcast, they're very outgoing. Bla bla bla, that that was yes, I kind of have to force myself to do that. Okay, sure. I even today still have to force myself to do that. In a Starbucks. All I'm saying to my listeners is just because I have a podcast and I've done almost 900 podcasts doesn't mean that this is always easy. It means what it is, is that if every day you wake up and you do something you're uncomfortable doing, let's just do it, because that's what's going to get you to grow. Do something you're uncomfortable with. I don't care what it is hiking to the top of the mountain, and at the end of the day, you're going to look back and you go, Well, I did it was great. You know, so That brings me to your chapter on the life unlived. You speak about regrets. We've already talked about it, but you live, and you say how we use regrets to make bold decisions. Now, I know you've had plenty. And I'd like for you to tell our listeners, how you've leveraged some of the regrets you've had to actually live a bull life.

Tommy Baker
Yeah, I love that, Greg. And so, you know, researchers talk about regret in the sense that it's actually a hopeful emotion, which is, it sounds kind of odd, doesn't it? Right, like regret, how is that hopeful? Now, it's how you use it, that becomes hopeful. Now, a lot of people tend to ruminate on their regret. So it's like, you know, I didn't, I didn't ask this person out 10 years ago, and it's like, I missed my chance, I miss my chance. And it's like, at some point, that's not going to help you moving forward, just like the ability to own it, and then move on. And we all have, you know, you know, I empathize, because, because this is part of our lives. However, you can use past regrets, because I hear this all the time. And this is also my life, as leverage to make new decisions. And so all we have to do is like, look back at some of the biggest regrets of our lives, the times that we hesitated, or we didn't make a move, and how we felt after that, and kind of the impact that had on our lives. And by getting really clear about those emotional states, we can then leverage those and say, You know what, just because that happened in the past, doesn't define my future, or who I am today. However, the next time I'm presented with that opportunity, at the Starbucks, the next time I'm presented with that opportunity to grow my business, or to make this move, or to leave my environment, I'm going to make a new choice, based on the pain that I experienced from the last time. So for me, I had a litany of regrets I was chasing a career on Wall Street, that was completely out of alignment. And, you know, I was doing well inside of that role. And I stayed, you know, the entire time, I stayed way too long, you know, and so it was like, the regret of waking up to a place, waking up and not being excited about my day, not looking forward to what I was doing, doing work that I didn't believe in at all, like at the very end, in fact, you know, have very harsh critique about that industry in general, just from a moral perspective. So all of these, all of these things, all of these regrets about how long I stayed inside of one industry or one place, fueled my ability to make new decisions later on in terms of my career to say, I don't want to feel that ever again. And if I don't want to feel that ever again, then I better make some new choices, because otherwise I'm going to end up in another wall street, it's not going to be Wall Street's going to be a different version of Wall Street. But it's going to be the thing that I don't want to do. And so there's that there's rail relationship regrets, right? We have an experience in a relationship, where the relationship turns turned sour, or turns toxic, or there's a lot of back and forth. That's very unhealthy. Okay. You regretted how you showed up in that circumstances? Or the decisions you made? Great? How is that going to impact the next relationship? Or how's that going to impact your current relationship? So, Greg, I just believe that, instead of beating ourselves up for our regrets, that's not what this is about. It's about staring the regrets in the face and saying, This is what I learned. This is what I felt. And going forward next time, I'm presented with an opportunity. Now I have more knowledge, now I have more wisdom to make a new choice.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think those regrets the way you're using them was the proper use of them. And I want to add a little bit of story here. And in real quick one. You know, I go to meditation retreats on the workers islands, and I do it with Dr. Joel and Michelle levy. I've been doing those retreats for quite some time. And I remember a story that they're bringing in the Buddhist monks. And these monks would come over. And they'd say, Well, is there anything we can get you? You know, because they usually travel pretty light. There isn't a lot of baggage they're carrying. And they say, Well, I would like to get a watch. I love the story, a watch. Why do you want to watch? Well, because at the end of their bed post, they put a watch and a skeleton. You're like, well, that's weird, but that's Halloween, but it's going to remind themselves of how much time they have left. And the reality is, you know, when you shift your perspective about each day being a gift, the whole thing of fear and regret starts to remove itself from your consciousness. Because you now are living a life of gratitude for what you've actually been given. So it's like what most people want to watch. They can figure it out. I'm going to be on time. They're saying, I'm taking a watch, because the minutes are ticking away. And I only have so many more left to do what I have to do, okay? So I loved the story and the context of the story, because it gives you a shift in perspective about the gratitude you should have every day you wake up, to be able to just do what you do. And in this risk redefined, you speak about the three risk pillars. Can you speak about these pillars? And how this will get us to see risk in a different light? And I think that's why I told the story pre This is because there is only one risk. Yeah, and that risk is that you may not wake up tomorrow. And the question is, if you're okay with that, then there's no risks. Yes. Okay. Because Yeah, if you don't wake up, you get hit by a bus, you die in your sleep you do, you know, My son was at dinner with me, then the night, he's about your age. And he says, you know, one of our friends, he passed away in his sleep was only 30 something years old. And he was really kind of down by it. And I understand that he had had a congenital heart thing and had have surgery earlier in the year, but they everything was okay, he was doing great. The point is, we all go to bed every night, never know when we're going to wake up tomorrow morning. And if you're okay with what you have and what you've created in life, then these risks don't appear so much as risks. Exactly. Cigarettes don't appear so much as regrets. They appear as learning lessons along the way that you can take them into your consciousness and move on. So how would you take this in a different light these pillars you talk about to put risk in a different way?

Tommy Baker
No, that's great. And I love that you mentioned the urgency, because that's really what this is about an urgency around our lives is actually not stressful, in my opinion, a lack of urgency becomes stressful, because that's how we put things off and put things off and put things off. And that to me is the highest source of stress. So having urgency like what you what you talked about, you know, I meditate on my own death, I'm sure you've done this many times, you know, if you've, since you've practiced Buddhism, and stuff, like I will meditate on my own death, watch my body become nothing but dust and bones and return to the earth. And you know, somebody's listening, Oh, that sounds kind of negative, it's actually incredibly positive, it's incredibly liberating. And reminds me to say what needs to be said that day. So if I have a great fit, you know, if I'm talking to the cashier, and we have a connection, I'm going to say, Hey, dude, you're amazing at what you do has that somebody? When was last time somebody told you, you were amazing what you do, because I never get that chance ever again in my life. So I love that you said that, Greg, in terms of the risk pillars. So yes, making a risk, you know, if I go after this conversation and put my whole life savings on, what was that company on GameStop, that might not be the most important, the smartest risk to take, because it's not it doesn't have any of these pillars, which is what we're talking about here. So one of the pillars is being clear on your on your purpose. And I know purpose is a loaded word. So I try to try to define that but have a be clear on some type of vision, even if it's small, for why you're taking this risk. So for me, putting all of my savings into one stock that's not aligned with my long term purpose of wealth generation. And, and security and not knowledge, I have no knowledge of that, right. So if you're clear around your purpose, and in alignment with that purpose, even a little bit, that's going to that's going to increase your risk tolerance in the right way. Because you're, you're moving towards something that matters to you. That's number one. Number two is having the ability to play the long game. So, so often, and I talked about, in the book, I talked about the alchemist the book, which sold 900 copies, you know, in its first year or something, and wasn't considered a success at all. So it didn't work, right. It was a huge risk. And you know, it just it didn't work. The reason why playing a long game is important is because we get rid of these timelines that you and I create if you launch a book, and it doesn't become a bestseller on launch week, and it's a total failure, right? Well, Coelho, his book ended up selling. Well, today, it's somewhere around 60 million copies, even though again, it originally only sold 900. So by playing the long game, or risk tolerance increases, because it's not that it has to work in a month is we can take a step back after five years and sometimes the things that didn't work, actually become the things that end up working long term if that makes sense. So that's number two. And then the last one is to make sure that you're in the right environments. So the, if you're wanting to just an easy metaphor, because I've been using it over and over again. But if you have a dream for launching your own business, and you're sharing your risk with coworkers that don't have that desire, they're going to pull you back, because they're going to say things like, entrepreneurship is hard. Nine out of 10, businesses fail. And their perspective is one from being inside of an organization. So don't tell those people about your risk. Instead, find people that already have the leap that you've created the goals that you want to that you want to bring to life, about the risks that you're taking, and they're going to help you and they're going to say things like,

you know, you know, you could you know, leave your job, like, what resources do you need? Who can I introduce you to? How can I help you, are you sure it's going to take you that long, would like, they're going to support you in a way where the risk completely changes, instead of what most people do is that they tell, unfortunately, and they tell people who have given up on their dreams about the dreams, the leaps that they want to take. And it's natural human behavior to, there's no usually not malice attentiveness. But if you if you haven't done something in your life, and somebody's asking you for guidance about doing it, and you're really feeling regretful about not doing something, you're usually going to veer them off course, again, the intention is usually not bad, but just based on your own experience and say, you probably shouldn't do that. So those are the three risk pillars that allow us to increase our risk tolerance. And understand that it's, it's not just about whether this works in this moment, it's that we have like you said, we have our whole lives now. We have that we have to have the urgency, right? Because again, like you said, this could this could end tomorrow and in the face of things like death. Is it really risky to take a shot to chase down a different career to move to a new city is like, is that really risky? And that's the question that we have to ask ourselves.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think we get drawn into the delusion and the Maya of life. And what we focus on is frequently in that delusion is the story we've made up that we tell ourselves. And so getting off a track like that, getting off a purpose, is really, really, and it's invaluable to us. And we need to find a way to focus our minds so that the delusion and the Maya do not take over. And whether it's a meditation technique, or contemplation, or hikes in the mountains, or going out surfing or riding your bike, or whatever the multitude of things are, that you do you like to walk out and be with the rattlesnakes. My point my point is, is that we all have, hopefully, something. And if you don't have something, I'm going to encourage my listeners to go find something and find something hopefully in nature. Because it has been proven that that really helps to get you centered again, and pull you out of the delusion because our world, let's face it between the iPhone and the cell phones, and the iPads and computers and all the stuff we have, it's easy to get distracted. And that world that's coming through is easily the world of delusion and Maya. Okay, you talked about stocks, you know, I was looking at mine today going, Oh, my God, I'm in NASDAQ. And, you know, you look at it's down 390 points. That's the delusion you get into, Is that real? Is that real? Or is it really not real? Right? Right. So it's true. So if you were to leave our listeners with three takeaways, of which you give wonderful takeaways at the end of most of your chapters, or you give things to contemplate and consider and write about, what would you say are the most important ones? For them to leave this podcast with and why?

Tommy Baker
Yeah, no, that's great. So the three things so number one would be to write, write this prompt in the middle of a sheet of paper. And the prompt is, wouldn't it be fun, Exciting, thrilling to dot, and just start filling in the blanks. Usually, this is best done when you're not in in some intense work mode, but you've done something like you just discussed, like being out in nature, etc, etc. Wouldn't it be fun, thrilling or exciting to dot, dot, dot, and just let yourself go and take a step? back and highlight one thing that's on that list that you're going to focus on. So that would be number one, because that that helps you get clear about one action that you want to take. Number two is on urgency. You touched on it, I touched on it. But I think urgency is one of the secret sauces to long term performance, but also deep fulfillment in the sense that if you're able to harness urgency, so for example, depending on when this comes out, you know, there's about 90 days left or less actually, less than 90 days left in 2021. Somebody listening still has enough time to make this year really special, I deeply believe that actually, the constraint of 90 days allows for more progress many times that a whole year, because a year can be very far we can lose our goals inside of a year. So number two is to harness urgency. And specifically during this time, at the end of the year, take the thing that you use number one on that you identified on and ask yourself what action could you take that could bring the first thing that you chose to life in the next 80 days, 70 days whenever this comes out 30 even 30 days and then the last thing is to actively practice the art of detachment so a lot a lot of that we're talking about here is about goals and leaps in growth and results and progress and life changes. And my takeaway my encouragement is that those are beautiful, but also kind of like you mentioned be able Be willing and able to disconnect from the need of those things to come to life. And it's obviously it's a paradox and I know you talk about it on the podcast a lot but when you disconnect from the detachment not only do you feel better emotionally because you're not your emotions aren't reliant on some external force outside of you kind of like you spoke about with the stocks you tend to attract really good things faster. It's the old paradox. So number three practice detaching, what does that look like, you know, put it put in, put in a good effort towards your leap and towards the progress that you're making, but then have strict rules and boundaries and experiences and, and times where you are completely shut off. And you're not even thinking about your vision, you're fully present. So those are the three things based on our conversation.

Greg Voisen
Tell me that those are great. And I want to add something while I was actually listening to Tommy, I wanted to find out. You know, you have a Academy called resist average. And the people can sign up for it, go to his website, sign up for the resist average Academy. But the average person is talking about average lives. 27,327 days. Yeah, 47,375 days. Now, if you took the days you've already lived and subtracted from that. How many days do you have left? Yeah, okay. So even give yourself age 100. I don't care. The point is, is that every one of these days is such a gift to go do something bold. And to take a leap of your life. Right? Here it is, go take a leap, do something different. Enjoy it. So what is the outcome from that the outcome from that is the joy you'll experience and the life experience you'll get from doing that. Some of them may not all be great, you may write something down and do it. And it turns out to be one of those lessons. Don't look at it from the negative look at it from the positive. That's what we're trying to say. And the way to basically sign up for resist Atomy Academy in the resist average Academy is just go to resist average Academy calm. There, you'll see hustlers and seekers, that's Tommy's new book, sign up and get a chapter. When is your course? launching or is it already out there? And what are we what are we going to tell our listeners?

Tommy Baker
Yeah, no, that's Thank you, Greg. No, the, the academy runs. It's open the first seven days of every month. So that's a continuous open enrollment. And of course, on resist average Academy, you can find, you know, the books and the podcast and all the other fun stuff that we talked about, but I'm 700 episodes behind you. So

Greg Voisen
okay, well, you don't need to catch up. All you really need to do is keep enough people coming to Arizona or online, who want to go through the resist average Academy, and I want to commend you for that. Tommy, thanks for being on the show. For my listeners. We've been with Tommy Baker, the leap of your life, the 1% rule. He's got another new book coming out called hustlers and seekers. go sign up for that one and preorder it. When does that book break?

Tommy Baker
1026? Yeah, yeah. I haven't gotten a copy yet.

Greg Voisen
we'll have you back on the show for hustlers and seekers. How's that?

Tommy Baker
That's amazing, Greg, thanks so much.

Greg Voisen
Alright, thanks for being on insight, personal growth. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon.

Tommy Baker
Thank you so much.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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