Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining me on the other screen over there where it says Secret Knock is Dr. Greg Reid. All of you, many of you know him from the days of the secret. That's a Secret Knock behind him. You're living in La Jolla now, right? Tell.

Greg Reid
I'm actually in the main streets of Carlsbad. for about seven years, I gotta tell you, it's absolutely amazing.

Greg Voisen
Well, I live in Encinitas. So he's a hop, skip and a jump for me for everybody that's out there. But Greg, let me tell the listeners about you. We're going to be talking about your book called The secret of happiness. It is like he said, 100 page book, so it's pretty easy for people to read. But for over 25 years, Greg has inspired millions people to take personal responsibility to step in to their potential and their greatness. And as such, his life of contribution has been recognized by government leaders foreign purchase, as well as luminaries in education, business and industry. He's been published over 150 books, including 38, bestsellers and 45 languages, titles such as stickability, the power of persuasion, The Millionaire mentor, Three Feet From Gold, turn your obstacles into opportunities. And they all have these books. And one of them in particular, is one that Don Green from Napoleon Hill Foundation, and Don's really good friend of mine and a good friend of Greg. So for all of you are out there, go check out Greg reed.com, gr e g. R e id.com. There you'll learn more about his books is podcast, The Secret Knock and his wealth of knowledge which he's got. So like happiness eludes a lot of people. It doesn't matter if it's sex, drugs, rock and roll, they're always trying to find something outside of themselves, to literally make themselves happy. And I've always told people, if you're expecting someone else, or something to make you happy, you're in trouble. You know, because it's an inside job. When you embarked on this two year journey to unravel one of life's most what we call elusive questions, what inspired you to delve into the topic? And what are some of the surprising insights you gained along the way? And I'll preface that with, you know, I know the Dalai Lama is probably one of the happiest guys I've ever seen, because he's always laughing. And I was at Healthy Minds Institute with Richie Davidson just last year, knowing that meditation was one of the ways that help people gain huge levels of contentment and happiness, comments?

Greg Reid
Well, first of all, great to see a long time it's a straight weekend skateboard. Every five years would do a podcast whether we need it or not. But this situation, so yeah, the secret to happiness was a great journey. And you're right, the Dalai Lama was, is a huge advocate of happiness. In fact, just recently, a buddy of mine came back from meeting him, where they gave him an autographed copy of one of my best selling books, and he autographed a bookmark for me from the Dalai Lama. That's one of my prized possessions. And you know, it's interesting, you're talking about the inside job. When we started the journey, we thought we had the answer right from the get go with the secret of happiness was, and I end up being completely wrong. You ever done one of those things where you thought you had? The answer is I was going to reverse engineer. What was wrong. And here's what I thought it was my hypothesis. By the way, I thought it was genius, was that happiness is a subtractive equation, and not an addition equation. What does that mean? Well, every time we add an additional equation, a car, a house, a boat, a relationship, that rarely brings us lasting happiness. But when we subtract shame, guilt, remorse, toxicity, then that brings joy to our life. So I figured that was the answer. So I went through this whole journey with that mind, and I was looking for solutions and answers and people to reaffirm my conclusion. And quickly, my attitude completely changed. It was really interesting. I had dinner with this lovely lady here in San Diego. And I was telling her this and I was all cocky is going here's the answer a secret to happiness. And she, I could tell her a sad face, and I go, what's wrong? And she goes, I don't think you really get it. I go, we'll teach me what do you mean? She goes, No. She goes, maybe for you. Because you live in a first world country. You have so much wealth and abundance, you can give things away and still have happiness. So Okay, give me a different perspective. She goes well, in my little town in Mexico, where I grew up. Every single person has been raising money and applying for visas for generations. And that was the first person from my community to make it through. She goes when I got the paperwork, you would have thought I won a gold medal. She goes, but when I got here and I became a citizen, and I bought my first car using my credit on my FICO credit score using my Social Security, she goes, You would have thought I won the Oscars or something like that. She goes, it wasn't that, you know, it was my achievement, but it gave hope to 1000s of people back home that they could do it too. So as you see things of taking away, but by us, adding this thing completely changed the perspective, an entire town.

Greg Voisen
Now, you know, your perspective shifting by going out and interviewing people and spending this two year journey, actually exploring it is really a Mind Bender, because I think people think like Marcy, she wrote a book on happiness. There's tons of books on happiness, there's a course at the university, I think it's either Princeton or Harvard, where the kids are waiting in line to one of, you know, get happy, right? Because we do live in a society where the influences of things from the outside world have a tendency to grind away in our mental mindset. And if there's anybody to bring lift people up, it's you around mental mindset. So with that your book emphasizes the influence of the company we keep in our lives, attitudes and incomes. Can you elaborate on how surrounding ourselves with certain individuals can impact our happiness? And overall well being? Because you know, look, there's a loneliness epidemic, according to statistics in this world, if you want to buy into that, that's fine. But the reality is, there are a lot of people that are lonely out there. So let's look at the opposite of happiness. It's loneliness and depression, right? So what would you say about attitudes and the people we surround ourselves with?

Greg Reid
Well, behind me, the first thing you'll see is this, you're going to talk about Napoleon Hill's PMA positive mental attitude. And I believe in not just having that, but actually living a lifestyle of happiness. So what does that mean? I remember, I was playing tennis with my instructor, and this guy is so much better me he's whipping me are on the court like crazy. And I kept talking smack through it comes my A game, I'm gonna beat you. And he beat me real bad. And I go, here goes, my serve, you better watch out and it's still destroy me, and finally pulled me into the middle into the little net. And he says, Look, but he goes, having a positive attitude is great and all but that's not going to win you games. And I remember saying the quote game I learned from Abraham Lincoln, it says, well, a positive attitude, will not get the desired results every time, but a negative one will. And so I just changed my attitude is something called always good. And what that means is that I really live in always good life. So I remember going through the checkout cash register, and the cashier kept asking people how you doing how you doing? She didn't care. It's just her job. And people were saying fair, fine, fair to middlemen. And then guy right before me said a double negative, not bad. I go, man, I gotta come up with the double positive, right? It's the media guys, how you doing? I go, always good. And she stopped and looked at and she goes, How can someone always be good? And I said, people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. So for myself, here's my suit. So situation in my solution, I surround myself with people I have respect for, and not just people I have influence over. And by doing that, I'm constantly calling up to people that can uplift and encourage, sometimes when I'm feeling down, and unfortunately, most people seek guidance and counsel from people that are also going through challenging tribulations. So then it's just pulled misery. Well,

Greg Voisen
you look at the affirmation of what you tell yourself. And then you start to become it. You know, I had a manager, I was in a business, financial services and life insurance. And for many years, I was MDRT, top of the table, that kind of stuff. And this guy's name was Grant Benning, his daughters, Annette Benning, and he just died. I literally went to the service in November around Thanksgiving, 96 years old. And he was my manager. And he used to say to me, Greg, I would say, How are you doing grant, and it goes down good and getting better than that. And we're at his memorial service. Everybody remembered him for good and getting better. You know, it was just like, I'm good and getting better. You can always hear that and it's like, it became part of me because he was like a second dad to me. My dad died early. And I just say that, hey, look, what you tell people you are is what you become. So you know, live that. And you know, throughout this journey, you interviewed a diverse group of individuals from actors and musicians amongst I'd love to hear about some of the monks and intellectuals because I got some stories about monks I've interviewed. What motivated you to assemble such A variety cast of characters, what common threads did you discover among the perspectives on the road to happiness?

Greg Reid
Well, you can't just ask the same type. Mindset, the same question over over because you'll get the same result. So by being a good philosopher slash, journalist, I wanted to ask people from various points of view, what their input and their suggestions are. And by doing that really, completely transformed the way I look at that. I mean, some of the people I interviewed didn't even make the book, because some of the answers were not appropriate. So for example, Coolio, he just passed away, as you know, and I asked him like, hey, what's the secret to happiness, and he said, like, bitches, booze and cars or something like that in my book. Love you, buddy. But I gotta go. So it's really interesting. But I still wanted to get the perspective from all these different walks of life. And you mentioned the monk one. And that one was interesting, this one person we interviewed was a monk at a prison of all things. So he's dealing with the people in the most sad state. And he also found some of the people had the happiest dispositions, because they're reinventing themselves or discovering themselves, because they're away from, you know, the situations and circumstances that they originally created under. And it was really interesting, he taught me something that again, blew my mind. So this is really interesting. And it's controversial, because it goes against what you said to open the show that happiness is an inside job. This is 100%, opposite, just like the Hispanic girl told me something 100% Opposite. This is opposite. And that's what this book is all about. By the way, it's showing you the yin and the yang, we're not giving you the answer. We're just saying this, this, this, this, and then you can make up your own decision, said this, he says that there's something called happiness dependence. And this really gave me a lot of food for thought, happiness dependence. And what does that mean? Well, it works like this, you can say happiness is an inside job, if it's going to be it's up to me. And that's all great for a bumper sticker and stuff. But let's look at reality of life. You're at work, you just got to raise $200,000 A year corner office, they give you keys to a brand new Mercedes, gold Rolex watch, and now you're the big fish, you're driving home, you're all fired up to tell the wife and kids are so proud of yourself. All these years of trials and tribulations have finally accumulated to the success, you opened the door and your wife's on the floor, she's crying, the kids are running around, the dog just ate the furniture. I don't, it doesn't make a difference what you're going through, boom, instantly, your mindset changes. And there's this happiness dependence around us. Because our happiness is dependent on on the other people that we surround ourselves with. How many times have someone came up to you, Greg, just being honest. And they said, I'm on this personal journey right now of discovery and all this amazing stuff, but my spouse doesn't get it. They're not on the same thing. How many times have we heard this story, and that is the pendants can pull people back. And if that is true, then it's really important to make sure that you have a great gene pool of people, a mastermind of sorts that you can call up to when sometimes things are a disarray around us. I

Greg Voisen
think it's good to have the variety that you have in the book. And it's really good for people to make their own choice and decision is good. That's what it is. I mean, the Buddha always said, you know, look, I give the information, use it the way you want, decide how you're going to put this into your life. Right? And it leads me to a monk, I want to tell a quick little story to my listeners. I think some of you may have heard it before. But you know, I go to meditations retreats with Joel Michelle on the orcas islands. I do that almost every year. And one year the monk is there's a monk there. And they asked him what he wants, because he comes from Tibet, and he doesn't have a lot of resources. And he goes, I want to watch and they go, what are what do you want to watch for? What do you want to you know, check the time. And he goes, Well, I'm going to put the watch at the end of my bed, along with the skeleton, because there was a skeleton and had a skeleton head. And they said, Well, what's that all about? And he said, well, the watch reminds me when it's on my wrist, that every day I go every minute I go through I'm one minute closer to death. And this is what brings me happiness is to live my life enjoy every minute and be completely present. Now you might say that's kind of a severe way to look at life. But really, when you think about it, that's all we ever have is the little moment moments that we all these moments we have gives you the perspective, right? It's a change in perspective, almost an immediate one, to say the clock is going down. And every time I'm going down, I'm getting closer and closer to death.

Greg Reid
So it's speaking of that, in this last book that I'm doing we'll talk about in a second is I just did a quote on this and the concept is the secret for a lot of people to find happiness is to understand when they're in the state of happiness at that moment. Most people don't realize it, it's looking back on Oh, those were the golden days. Oh, those were the things. But in the moment, it was just Tuesday. And the happiest people are the people that understand and stand in that moment of joy when it's actually happening at that existence. And a lot of people, like I said, unfortunately, just don't do it. And it's funny, because at the end of the book, we'll cut to the end. Here's the secret to happiness. Everyone ready? That if you ask 1000, people obviously get 1000 different answers what the secret of happiness means to them. So therefore, the secret of happiness is the definition in which you give it. That's it. That's the secret to happiness. So everyone has got a different circle. And again, unfortunately, and fortunately, most people do not define what brings them joy. So they never know if they're in the state of happiness. What does that mean? If I'd sat there and said, Hey, we get through this interview, and I sound really good. And, you know, we get some great new eyeballs out there inspire some eyes, that'll make me happy. Well, now I've got to I know if I'm on track. So if I make a mistake, here I go, ah, that didn't go so good. But if I get through, and it's done, I go, Hey, that's awesome. And I live in that moment of joy. But what happens is we go from, you know, success, the success or setback, the setback, not realizing at that moment of what it is. And there's one famous quote says, happiness and joy comes from going from setback to setback without the loss of enthusiasm, right? That's what it comes down to write.

Greg Voisen
I just interviewed Dr. Steve Berman, from Del Mar, and his book is the end of worry. Now, the opposite of that is he says that worry is misguided imagination. Right? And I got looking at that. And that's true, because we actually create all these stories ourselves. And we use our imagination inappropriately, right. And I just love the fact that, you know, in Steve's book called The End of worry, the four step protocol, and then he talks about that. And really, and that came from another book that he that he actually read, I think it's actually a quote from Buddhist quote somewhere misguided imagination, or however imagination is being misused. But if you would, and kind of wrapping this up, because I know you said, Hey, that is the end, you went all the way to the end already. So I want you to give a few practical tips or strategies for listeners who are on the quest to find more fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their life. And how can they apply the insights from the book that you wrote into their daily life? And then I'll ask you one question after that. But honestly, there's one first

Greg Reid
I want to stand up what you just got done saying about this gentleman, you know, it's so interesting, we all say the same stuff in a different way. Like what you just said, That guy said, is so cliche in today's world. And on the same note, it's brilliant at the same time, because it's an age old wisdom that's been passed on from generation to generation. And Sharon Lechter, my co author says, you know, worrying is praying for what you do not want. So much power in this right. But again, we give a lot of focus towards that. I've noticed that usually in life, we have 10 things going on in our lives. And I'll say eight of them are great. One of them is iffy, and one of them's just horrible. But unfortunately, focus on that one horrible, and we don't enjoy these eight, like, Hey, good job paying the rent this month. Right? We just don't give ourselves that credit. And so it's the people I've realized that actually focus and give themselves applause and appreciation for the job well done for themselves. They're the ones that live in a state of joy and contentment, because they know that they're doing the best they can. So it's like one of those type of things. If you want to make God laugh, show me your plans. Nothing goes as planned. So what we want to do is make sure that we appreciate and give ourselves gratitude for the hard work and the things that we have done and stop just celebrating our negatives and talking about those into existence and feeding it more and feed the positive. In fact, right here on my desk, it has a little quote says, Let it go Let it flow.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, I got I got a clock that has no hands on it. And I have a little sign here to pardon me. I'm gonna pull it up. But it's that that one is own signal in it ohm symbol in the in the now the clock says Now I should show it to you.

Greg Reid
Yeah. Yeah, in the there's Daniel abort, wrote a book years ago, and it's impacted my life in a great way. And she taught the power of non attachment. And what does that mean? It says, well, Detachment means you don't give a crap. That's not a good way to live life. It's cynical. Non attachment means you go all in, you give everything you got to a certain project or mission, but then you're not attached to the outcome. So for example, look, I've been publishing 150 books, some are great, some are stinkers and not a ton. That's to how it goes, I just, I can at that moment, and then I birth it to the world. And then the world tells me whether it's accepted or not. And by having that type of attitude, I can go to the next project without holding on and trying to fix every single thing. I want to share one quick story here, because I'm gonna answer your question in a story. What if God in the universe, rented every wish, and every prayer, but we didn't like the packaging? So he sent it on its way. Dear God, I need $100 Lower, please give me 100 bucks. Your next door neighbor comes by and says, Hey, buddy, I got all these aluminum cans on the side of my house, do me a favor, go cash these in, you can keep all the money for getting them out of the side. Those stinky things in my car? Well, you asked you prayed it was delivered. But we didn't have gratitude and appreciation. So we didn't accept it. What does that tell our God in the universe the next time we ask and pray for something, that's where this thing comes from. Be careful of what you ask for. Because you might just get it but also understand it might not be the packaging in what you expect.

Greg Voisen
That's a great way to to put that. So Greg, what do you have all these books? How do you say 130? That right?

Greg Reid
Or not 150. And I'm just finished this week, my last book. So it'll be the last book I ever write with just my name on it. I might do some co author books or multi author books, but this is my last book. And then I'm going to go into the publishing side and help other people get the word out like you're doing. Okay,

Greg Voisen
so you you're on this journey. The last book is titled What? Have you given a title yet?

Greg Reid
Oh, let's go into publishing next week. I just gonna save. I'll save it. We'll do a whole nother thing around. Okay.

Greg Voisen
All right. All right. Well, I thought maybe you know, you're I'm sure you know, Bill Gladstone. And he died in December. You had to have known Bill because he is a consummate, just friend of mine, and somebody very special. And

Greg Reid
so he told us the secret to happiness, my friend. Oh,

Greg Voisen
is that a Gladstone book? Oh, Waterside. Okay, well, I didn't know that because I got the Kindle version. And the reality was, I didn't look at all those front pages just went into the book. But Greg, you know, you're, you're somebody who's directing your energy in a positive way and in a positive direction. And I always love having people like you on the show accolades to you. For all the previous books that you've written, including the things that you did for Napoleon Hill with, with Don green. I always have admired the work you're doing, and I just so want to thank you for taking the time to be with our listeners to talk about happiness, then obviously, hey, look, give them a wide variety in this little 100 page book of what happiness is, and choose which which direction you want to take. Right? So thank you. Thank you for your time. Appreciate it. Namaste to you, man. Have a great rest of your day. And we'll talk again soon when you get this next book out.

Greg Reid
Yeah, if nothing else we'll see in five years for semi tenure, podcasts or appreciation right?

Greg Voisen
Oh no, actually, I'm gonna come to Carlsbad and take you to lunch within the next couple of weeks.

Greg Reid
Please do so. Then. Amigo. Bye.