Greg Voisen
Welcome back Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining us from the Windy City in Chicago is Florence Ann Romano. And we were just talking about how cold it is there. Good day to you. How are you?

Greg Voisen
Good day to you. It's bitterly cold, but it's a nice warm feeling here with you. So all good.

Greg Voisen
Thank you for that, and before we get going, because we're going to be talking about a new book that releases very shortly called Build your village. And this book is going to be out on the 21st of February. But you can pre order now on Amazon. So no problems there. Go ahead and get your pre order a guide to finding joy and community in every stage of life. Let me tell the listeners a little bit about you. I'm Florence and Romano is a personal growth strategist, philanthropist and an author. In this new book we're going to be speaking about, you'll get to learn more. It's beyond words book, which is a great publisher, so great place to go. She's always had a special place in her heart for family and community. She worked as a childcare provider for 15 years, and believes the key to family success lies in focusing on what she calls the trifecta, parent, child and caretaker, working in unison toward common family goals. She's been featured all over the place. If you go to our website at Florence and.com. You will see she's been on 500 National local outlets. Across the country, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, home and family, the Jenny McCarthy show series examine more. As we said she resides in Chicago. She earned her degree in performance theater at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, and is served as the president and founder of a nonprofit board dedicated to autism awareness, and now serves on the executive board of children Research Fund at Lori's Children's Hospital, and is a founding member of Sesame Street Leadership Council. Well, you have been a busy woman. And I can appreciate that because I know when you do charitable work, it takes a lot of your time. And you're really dedicated to that. And I really appreciate that because you're doing good. And that is its own community, the charities that you work with, but tell our listeners a little bit about what inspired you to write this book. Build your village and your background, you were known as the Windy City nanny for over 10 years. So when you see a lot of her interview, she'll see people talking to her about, you know, her being a nanny and how to take care of things. But when you think about it, there's a direct correlation there between that and actually building community

Greg Voisen
Well, thank you for that beautiful introduction, and I am going and reflecting all that back to you. You have such a beautiful way of showing your heart through throughout the philanthropy and I know myself and your listeners all are very inspired by that. So thank you for having me today. So as the Windy City nanny, I was in childcare for over 15 years, I feels like I'll totally different life now. And I think back on it, but it was the best time of my life. And not only was I a nanny for over 15 years, but I grew up in a multi-generational house. I'm an old fashioned Italian girl. My grandparents lived with us growing up, there was a point where my grandmother and I shared a bed for several years and, and then you know, they got older and we ended up becoming their caretakers. I also have a special needs brother. He's 35 and has autism. And he's always gonna have the mind of a child and that's always comes with its challenges too, but also beautiful in so many ways. So I feel like in my life, Greg, I've really been surrounded with a lot of opportunities to learn compassion, to learn caretaking to learn responsibility. And so it was a natural fit, I think for me to become a nanny in my life. And I did absolutely love it. I wrote my first children's book actually several years ago called nanny and need to help children learn about the transition of being cared for by their parents or a caretaker to being cared for by a nanny. And was always being cared care taken care of by their parents to them being taken care of by a nanny or caretaker. Because the truth is the statistic is over 65% of families in America today have a nanny or childcare of some kind. So it's not something that's trendy. It's really a part of our life today. And so I started really honing in and focusing in on what community looked like from a young age from the eyes of the nanny, but then also in my personal life. And so once I retired from being a nanny and started talking about childcare in the new millennium and how we build families in the dynamic of families, it started to give me a very different point of view about what it actually means to have village whether or not you have children.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's interesting you say that because you know you I'm sure for my listeners, they can see that correlation and I know I'm Even my son, I have a son that's 40 years old. And they have a full time nanny. They've got two kids, they live in the Bay Area. And it's a pretty common thing. For families. Sure, have nannies. And not only, not just part time nannies, we're talking like full time nannies.

Greg Voisen
Right? These are pairs the whole thing? Yeah.

Greg Voisen
Well, and they because today, it's a two income earnings situation, you know, and let's talk about that, because you mentioned the introduction in your book, that we obviously COVID helped this, it kind of thrusted forward, but we have a loneliness epidemic that plagues our country. And this social isolation increases a person's risk for death. Now, I totally understand that correlation from a psychological and a mental standpoint as well. And that turning into physical ailments that actually beget themselves from that, how do you recommend building the support structure and community and a village that we need to survive and thrive in these kinds of challenging times? Because, you know, it, I echo, I was telling you about Cormac in the community building, and we started talking about, you know, well, these people are isolated, and nobody's talking to one another as much anymore. We're not getting together in these groups. And, you know, we know that COVID had a lot to do with that. But it seems like we're in a really busy world these days. And everybody's busy, busy, busy, right? They don't have time. So how do you want to help people get these communities built? The intelligence,

Greg Voisen
both words work, you know, try whatever you say, you know, everyone has a lot of words for it. It comes down to first accepting that you're not happy with how things are going. And that's usually what leads us to looking for community are looking for more friendships, looking for more arms around us in some sort of way. But just like anything in life, what I have found to be the most challenging thing is I can sit here and tell you that I'm upset about a way my life is going, perhaps. But it's, it's beyond that, because I can say that this is something I don't like, but how am I going to actually fix it? Am I going to try and fix it? It sounds like such a fundamental question. And so simple, but it's not. That's right. Especially with COVID. You know, we all got used to the yoga pants and the Netflix and that was always just so much easier than actually having to socialize with people. And then, you know, to your point of, we're just very busy. Yes, we are very busy. But Shall I also maybe dare to say we've gotten a bit lazy, too, I think when it comes to wanting to make these relationships. And so to answer your original question, what do we actually need to do to build these support systems? We need to find out what it is that's missing. What it is that's making you feel like there is a void or you are feeling that loneliness, you're feeling that isolation? Well, where is it coming from? Why do you feel that way? So it's almost like a doctor diagnosing the issue. You have to start there.

Greg Voisen
I would agree. You know, in the challenge that everybody is faced with, and I did an interview recently with his last name is sax and he said, the future is analog. And he not only talks about how the computer look at us, we're able to do these interviews. Now. It's a pretty common thing. Pardon me, we'll make sure that that gets knocked out. We have these interviews, we have this ability with this technology. We've got it always on, we've got our cell phones as well. And it kind of in one sense, yeah, we are connected, but we're not connected. Personally, we're like, hey, how many people are still going to movie theaters, they're actually being closed down. Right? In our town. Here. We're seeing that how many people are just sitting and having popcorn together? How many people are just instead of using Uber Eats are actually going out to eat and saying, Hey, we're going to get a bunch of people together and go out to eat together, right? We're just now seeing that kind of come back a little bit more now. But throughout the book, you provide exercises and help the reader develop deeper relationships. And that's where I'm going with what are some of those exercises? And you spend much of the book talking about the qualities for six essential villagers which are accepting dependable cheerleader, communicator, healer and organizer. Those are basically the terms that you're using to define those eight If you would, what are some of those exercises and talk a little bit about those six elements or characteristics?

Greg Voisen
Well, the reason I wanted to develop the six care the six villagers was because I wanted to be able to relate to something that was tangible. I want it to be able to look within myself and others look within themselves and think, okay, how do I use something as a measuring stick to help me figure out how to make that first step? So these six villagers I identify with? And this is how I would hope you use the book to you listeners, do you think to yourself, Okay, out of these six, who am I? Do I possess all the qualities of these six villagers? Am I maybe three out of the six to whatever it might be? There's no right answer to that. But then also looking outside of it. I'm these people, but who are the people that I need to cast in these roles in my village? And then who am I being cast in these roles in someone else's village? Again, we're looking at two different lenses here two different camps. It's, who am I and who do I need and who am I to other people. And so to use the accepting villager, for example, and you mentioned the quizzes and the exercises, I wanted the book to read as interactive, I didn't want it to just be here's all this, you know, just me talking at you and not actually giving you something that's something you can execute on easily. Because nothing is worse than reading a book where you feel like this is a huge lift, this is overwhelming, there's no way I'm going to do this. So I wanted at the end of each chapter to have action steps and gut checks. So the gut checks are things that you're going to think about, I just read this chapter, what's resonating with me, and then the action steps, things that you can do today that are easy for you to make that step. And so you work at kind of like a workbook that interactive, like I said, that also that you can repeat in your life, too. Depending on how your life changes the season of your life, you can keep working these steps, and it's all going to depend on your environment. So using that accepting villager, for example, who's the first one I talked about in the book? One of the questions I asked in the exercises is when was the last time someone confessed a problem? Or a secret to you? And I know that might be like, gosh, it's a little invasive. I don't know if I want to really answer that question. I'm not asking you to tell anyone publicly. But the second question to that is, what was your reaction to that news? What was your initial reflex to it? That says a lot about kind of who you are as a person and what aligns with your values. And what does it when someone confesses something or someone wants to talk to you about something, get something off your chest, it's very difficult, I think, for human beings to really tap into what empathy truly is. And that's what we're starting to go with this too is okay, I may not have this exact experience, I may not even agree with what this person is necessarily doing. But I'm here to support in some way, what this person is revealing to me and maybe not even support, work through something give advice. If that's what they're asking for. It's about how am I able to meet someone where they are instead of where I want them to be?

Greg Voisen
Well, let's talk about it. Because you're saying there's you and are you identifying in one of those roles? These other five roles? In other words, which one? And maybe this was great for you, Florence? Which one? Do you relate to?

Greg Voisen
All things

Greg Voisen
because I know you talk toward the end of the book about a compassionate communicator, right. And I know when I got my master's degree in spiritual psychology, one of the things you had to learn to do and probably why you do podcasts, you have to be a good listener. And but you also have to listen with empathy and understanding. And it is take a lot of practice, right? It's like, most people want to tell you their story. And it's like they just dump on you, you know, bla bla bla bla bla bla bomb, right? And, okay, you have to be very patient to listen to all of that right? But of these things where you have a cheerleader and a healer I was interested in the healer part too, because these actually the, the terms that you're using to define it are really very important. Pardon me.

Greg Voisen
Well, what's interesting about that to Greg is I feel like without me giving any sort of definition attached to the have six listeners right now, let's say I never told you what I define those six to be. I guarantee you as soon as you and I were saying those words, you're sitting there thinking in your mind, oh, you know what my best friend is definitely the healer, I think I'm probably more dependable. Yeah, that cousin of mine is the communicator for our family, you're starting to cast people into those roles subconsciously, right away. And that's the point of this. That's what I want everyone to do is start doing that exercise intentionally. And also, reflexively, because that's human nature, I want people to understand that what is being asked here of you is not something that is such a far fetched concept, you do a lot of this work yourself without already maybe realizing it, it's just now actually making it intentional. So

Greg Voisen
putting up I think the label is, I know, a lot of times people don't want to put a label. But I will say in this case, it's important because the mix is so important to this, it's almost like baking a cake, right? Yeah, you gotta get it right. And these are all the elements that you have to put in it to have the right cake. And then you talk about values, values that people bring to the village. And you ask the reader to answer three important questions to evaluate their values. And anytime we do purpose work in life, we're going to actually be thinking about what are our values? What are those questions? And how can knowing our own values and the values of another meaning does other people make for building a better, more cohesive, cohesive village?

Greg Voisen
I think the word values oftentimes, Greg can scare people, because they think that's when you're going to start imposing your value system on them, or it's going to have some religious connotation to it. And so I don't know why. But I found there's some hesitation there. When people say that word, there's always a defense mechanism for some reason. So that's why I want to kind of strip that away and say, when we're talking about values, we're just talking about what makes you tick. What do you believe in what it you know? What, what is the what makes up the fiber of who you are? How do you live your life? How do you raise your children? How do you surround yourself with people that are aligned with you in that way not to say that you shouldn't align yourself with people that also challenge you in the right ways. And that that's something we can get into in a minute. These questions you ask yourself about values, though. Number one, what does the ideal community look like to you? Why does it look this way? And how do your values influence that village? And lastly, how do you deal with someone whose values conflict with your own gosh, there could be a whole course done on just that, because look at the world, the world we live in today, it's so difficult for people to you know, this agree to disagree sort of thing. And you're now we're so extreme on opposite sides of everything. And the pendulum swings so swiftly, and there's no black and everything's black and white, there's no gray area. So you know, this is a big component of how we build relationships in our life. And if we're surrounded by people that are only like us, cookie cutter versions of all of us, we're never going to learn anything, you know, that's, that's never going to make it help us evolve. But there's a big difference between finding people that are like minded in a way that are going to support your value system. As you raise your children as you figure out who you are as a person, how you want to live your life, versus surrounding yourself with people that are not accepting of you that are going to make you feel bad about yourself, condemn you, or whatever it might be. There, again, there's big, big differences there when it comes to values and how you surround yourself with people. But starting with what does my community look like? That's the most fundamental question you can ask yourself is, what am I really looking for? Is it a lot of people, a small group of people? Is it people that may be subscribed to the same type of religion or maybe also have, have also have or this can be another whole separate category, believe in philanthropy a similar way than I do? Similar way that I do, and that may be that's how I would join an organization. So I'd meet more people that have that same type of heart. Again, it's about figuring out how it looks to you and then building from there.

Greg Voisen
Well, in any of these, there's going to be a symbiotic kind of relationship. In other words, that's it seems to happen. people gravitate, and build these communities around like minded people, you know. Now that doesn't mean that you can't have conflict. Sometimes conflict is good, it helps to resolve issues. We're going to have it but I know when I've gotten involved doing this kind of work, that literally you find people that have values that are on the same air, they're in the same area, right. And, you know, you speak about drawing up a map to a village, right. And I think that's a really good turn a road map to kind of creating a village, speak with the listeners about creating the map and the questions that they need to ask before embarking on creating a village. Because your advocacy here is really about, go out and create villages, right? Get involved, right. And I get that you're trying to get people out of their chair, that are moving again, to actually have, whether it's a Zoom meeting, like we're having or physical meetings, we're just trying to get people to connect again, connect, right makes the connection, whatever it is. And so what would you say about that map?

Greg Voisen
Well, the reason I liked the visual of the map is because I hear so many people say to me all the time. So everyone talks about this village, it takes a village, it takes a village, well, where's the map? Where's the phone number to call? You know, what is going on here? So I like the idea of okay, well, yeah, there is a map like, look, that's what this book is about, it's giving a map to that village. But to me, it's, it's, you know, someone's got to drive there, if you're going to, you know, go to this village, you know, and that's you, you have to be a part of this solution. And so let's look at it from different categories, perhaps let's say you're a college student, or you're a new parent, as a college student, sometimes that can be a jarring transition for kids, you know, you've never been on your own before that way. And now you are going to be at a new school, maybe in a new state, maybe in a new country, who knows. And you're going to have to meet new people and put yourself out there. So maybe you're going to join Greek Life sorority fraternity, or a club, that something that you're interested in is a passion of yours is a hobby of yours, okay, you're going to start meeting people, that's a really great way to put yourself out there and maybe make those friends. As a new parent, you're going to join those Mommy and Me or daddy and mommy groups, or you're going to get involved in your local community house that you have, or a church that has, you know, a group of people that meets on a weekly basis or a carpool group or things like that, I could go into so many details about things that exist that way. But beyond that, though, it's asking yourself questions to in order to develop that roadmap, how long do I need this village? How many villagers? Am I looking for? How much time do I have to give? And how can I remove myself from a village if need be, I know you don't want to think already about removing yourself from a village when you're trying to build it. But sometimes you do get involved and people places things like that, and it's not the right fit for you. And you may not want to offend anyone. But you're going to have a hard time extracting yourself from the relationship or a situation that does not serve you.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, one of the things I think when you get involved in especially if it's philanthropy work, and you've, you've said, hey, I'll do this, you don't want to let other people down, right. And so, you know, they're always looking for people that are going to do something to, to help raise money or to help put on an event or to do whatever, and you have the best intentions. And then you really realize sometimes how much time it's going to take, or you don't have the right connection with the bank loan. And so it does become a challenge. And that's brings me to the qualities of these six essential villages, and which you said was to be a communicator, one of them is, in each one of those chapters, takes those six and talks about it. But you speak about the signs of a consciously compassionate communicator. There's a there's a big difference between somebody who communicates and somebody who communicates consciously and compassionately. What are the signs and how do you know what type of communicator we are? Or they are, who they are.

Greg Voisen
It's looking at people's skill set to understand that everyone brings something different to the table. And the difference between being a communicator and a consciously compassionate communicator. When you are conscious of something again, hopefully, you're being more intentional. And also mean you're saying things that you mean that you're not saying? I mean, perhaps you know, it's all about the delivery and life and I think that's also part of being consciously compassionate as a communicator, because we could say, being consciously compassionate is something that you could apply to your life outside of being a communicator, but as a communicator, we could drill it down into some subcategories. And these again, are skill sets people have You are a writer, you know, the writer of the group, the speaker, the listener, the peacemaker, or the leader, these are different ways you can be a communicator, and let me give a little bit of color to that, as the writer, maybe you're the one in the community that is always sending out the emails about who needs, what's the people, or what's happening in the community, some of these people are suffering, you know, how can we gather people to support such and such, that's a great opportunity for someone who has a skill set of as the writer, and then there's, you know, the leader, I know, in my own community, oh, my gosh, there was always this one woman, she was at the forefront of everything, if anyone needed anything, she was the one making it happen, you know, whether or not it was someone passed away, and she was organizing the music for the funeral mass, or the funeral celebration, or whatever it might be, to being the person that was there showing up at someone's door when their house flooded, you know, to help them, you know, mop it up, I mean, and she was really the leader. And so I have found this in my life in so many different ways. But as we look at the communicator, these are all qualities a communicator can have, there can be others, of course, but it's about again, finding what people do well, not just you identifying it, identifying it in yourself and saying, This is how I can be helpful. This is how I can do something to make someone else feel seen, heard and understood.

Florence Ann Romano
Well look,

Greg Voisen
a compassionate communicator to as you said, she was the leader. But also, when I asked you the question, which one are you said, I'm all of them? And what I am, what I do know is that for a good community, there's a bit of all of those identifiers in all of us. It's the question is, which one of the strongest stat that we could come to this village with, and really add tremendous value to it. And one of the you mentioned the importance of a healer. And for my listeners, she means somebody who can compassionately listen, understand and help someone keel, what would be part of that and what makes a good healer in your relationship, and the estimation of their role to the village. In other words, here's this healer, hey, we've looked about look at Think about this. In every Native American and the South African tribes. There are always healers. There's the shaman. Right, right. And the shaman and there's people out there today, who are going down to do ayahuasca and saying, okay, I'm going to do as well, it's good. I have to have the shaman, right? Because I trust this person with my body, right? They're gonna they're gonna do right. What is it? What do you think in these villages inside the kind of villages I think you're trying to create. You're obviously not trying to create the ones where the healers come and do Ayahuasca but

Greg Voisen
that's one that could absolutely be one, too. I don't discriminate anytime. Good.

Greg Voisen
So talk with us about the healer, what role am I? Are you going to play as a healer?

Greg Voisen
Well, to go back for one quick second to talking about those six and how I do identify with all six. It doesn't mean I'm that person all the time to everybody. Right? That's an important thing to recognize is that there are different times in my life that I'm going to be more than maybe all of them or less, but also to looking at it and saying, Why do I choose the friends that I do you maybe you're going to need those certain types of villagers in your life during a certain period of your life, and you may not always need them. Let's talk about the healer, for example, you may not always need the healer in your life at a given time. But for me, it's not that this person is fixing you. It's not that they're there to even fix the problem. They are walking next to you in it. And my best friend and I always say to each other, you know, I can't fix it. I can't make it go away. I wish I could take away your pain or your hurt or whatever it is. But I do promise you that you're not alone that I am next to you. I'm with you. That's one of the things I always say on Instagram to whenever I talk or DM with anyone at the end. I always say with you that's kind of my way of kind of signing off a conversation, because that's what this is about. And the healer is that it's just someone that makes you feel like you're not alone in it. And to use an example of this was my best friend when her sister unfortunately passed away from thyroid cancer. Very young. She's only in her early 40s left behind two young daughters and I felt completely helpless on how to be there for her how Do you help, you know, your best friend go through this move through this grief. And at one time I was sitting, I was at her house and her mom was there on the kids and her children and her nieces, everyone was playing. And she and I were sitting on the couch together. And she just grabbed my hand. And we just kind of held hands watching the kids playing. Her mom took me aside later. And I said, I don't know what to do for her. I don't know what to do for you guys. And she said, I watched you too on the couch. And that moment, she was just sitting next to you holding your hand. And I could see that there was just a little bit of relief that kind of came over her in that moment she was that's all I need you to do. Just continue just to sit next to her be next to her. It didn't even take any words, it didn't take me trying to fix the situation, telling her it will be better. All of those things. I've often told her, it's not okay that it happened. It doesn't ever have to be okay, that it happened. And grief is whatever it's going to be however long it takes you to get through it. But in in my life with her in that moment. For those various months or even couple of years, I played the role of healer in that specific way in her life. And she has done the same for me in my life to when I've gone through different versions of grief that maybe we're not related to actually losing a person, a person who's died, but grief in all its forms.

Greg Voisen
Well, you bring up an important point. And I heard this once said, this is a compliment to your book. And the way you wrote it there. It's been said to me by a wise sage, that when you write a book, write a book as if you're speaking to your best friend, and you're in the movie theater whispering in their ear, I think. And I think what's important is that you're not telling people. Now you're just hey, we saw something really cool on the screen and you go, Hey, flights, and wasn't that really neat, right? You know, you're trying to share your excitement for your topic, right. And that's what I get throughout this book is your excitement for the topic of creating villages. And with that, let's ask a question about how we can actively practice compassion in the village, you tell a story about a boy that you observed near a local coffee shop. Now, knowing that you have a 35 year old brother who's autistic, I get it. And I used to raise money for a nonprofit called Terry, we had 625 autistic kids, and Down Syndrome kids. And I used to go in those doors every day. And the autistic kids and the Down Syndrome, kids would always come up to me and like pull on my pant leg. And they want to say hi or they'd want to give me a hug. And they're just so vulnerable, right? They're just always kind of open. And some of the artistic kids are quite a challenge. And I will say a lot a big challenge, right? But I saw you telling this story, as almost if I was sitting in that movie theater, and you're whispering in my ear, can you tell the story at what point you wanted to emphasize by the example of your actions. As a result of that story?

Greg Voisen
I was outside of coffee shop and I saw this boy, that, you know, when you grow up with a special needs brother, I think you're more sensitive to seeing around you perhaps people that are differently abled, whatever it might be. And so he was nervous about going into the coffee shop, I could see him talking to himself and trying to kind of pump himself up to go inside, if it's something was making him nervous. And so I noticed that there was a dog right by the door. And I was like, ah, that that's it. That's why he doesn't want to go in. He's scared of the dog. And he was trying to kind of self soothe and get himself up to the challenge of doing something that you know, had to be a little bit brave. And I was worried though, because he was agitated how he was going to be able to conduct himself when he got into that crowded Starbucks. And so I got nervous and got out of my car I was I actually just gotten into my car to leave. But I said okay, I just don't want him to be alone in there. He eventually saw that there was a side door and went inside, was able to avoid the dog but so I went in and I stood in line behind him and I could tell that he was kind of calming down he ordered his drink and you know, I ended up getting I think just a bottle of water because I forgot why I was even in there. I was like, oh, I'll just take water. I'm fine. You know, thank you. And I'm you know, waiting, you know, just kind of near him and he was he did just fine and nothing ended up happening. And he left And I love to but it the reason why this was an important moment for me was I thought to myself, gosh, if it were my brother, or it was someone I loved and someone was witnessing that this may be a challenging situation this may be interpreted incorrectly by people, I've seen people be cruel. I've seen people be unkind and not compassionate and, and have a hard time understanding why someone is behaving the way they are thinking that that person is just a rude person, or mean or whatever it might be. And so in that moment, I was ready to be the advocate for that boy, I was ready to be that mini village, maybe if he needed it. And I just not that I, I did the right thing in that moment, I don't know that I did. All I know is I hope that in life, we can observe around us a little bit more sensitively with a bit more empathy with a bit more compassion. And with a bit more gumption, perhaps to know that, you know, we don't have to do anything that is, you know, draws any attention, or is this big hero moment. It's those small things, those small moments of kindness or recognition, or selflessness that lead us to just creating that empathy effect, that ripple effect. And that boy taught me a lot in that moment about just being more aware of what's going on around me and how I can be helpful.

Greg Voisen
It was a great story. And it is heroic in nature, I mean, you must admit for you to get out of your car, take the extra time, go into the start bucks, you had compassion for this individual you saw through the scene, the picture, and you wanted to make certain they were safe. So in one small way, it was like, you know, I'm going to take this extra step to help somebody be safe. And we can't discount that, because there's an opportunity for everybody listening to help somebody feel safe every day, right, where they may be feeling uncomfortable about a certain circumstance or event or are something that happened in their life. And so that opportunity arises. And the only way you can take it Vantage meaning because it's a two way street of it is to be aware, right, you have to have a high level of awareness about what's going on around you. And we believe me, the person who's providing the compassion to the other person gets his bigger gift as the person who's in need of the compassion. And I think that's a really important thing to remember. And Florence, the book that you have written, it's failed. And let me hold it back up for everybody. Again, they're built your village, there it is. It's filled with wonderful instruction on creating a village, and the importance of doing so what are three actionable items that you'd like to leave listeners with, and they can utilize in forming their own villages.

Greg Voisen
I'm going to do a kind of a smorgasbord of things. One of my favorite sayings is my Angelou people forget what you said what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. And I think that's really the essence of this book. It is talking about putting yourself and your feelings in the spotlight. And then also how can you put other people's needs and their wants and desires? And how can you be helpful in the spotlight as well. Number two, give yourself a lot of grace with this process. It is not easy, what I'm asking you to do. A lot of it sounds simple. But maybe you're going to take your time and really work on one specific chapter, maybe what you really want to concentrate on. And what you're interested in learning more about is how you can hone your skills of being a healer more, and that's where you're going to put your time and attention. And number three, understanding that this is a book that you can go back to time and time again, as you go through different areas, situations transitions in your life, you can continue to whip out this book and say, Alright, I'm feeling a little lost. I'm feeling a little lonely, I'm feeling a little misunderstood. I'm feeling a little whatever that fill in the blank is. And you can continue to work this book in that way to help you figure out all those different milestones that you want to reach or as you get older and it becomes more and more difficult for you to create those relationships. You have a place you have a NorthStar you have somewhere to be able to go that you know you can work the steps and you can actually find the

Florence Ann Romano
solutions. Well, for all my listeners,

Greg Voisen
Lauren San Romano has written a great book, build your village and then encourage you to go out there, go to our website at Florence and.com. Reach out to her send her an email, you can do it through the website, let her know you're there and you're building a village. And that you might need her help, you might need some advice. But this is a great book for anybody really nonprofit people. This would be a big, big book for them, right? Because there's so many great tips in it that you give people and I think, your prior experience as a nanny for 10 plus years, and really understanding that world and what it takes an understanding, you know, when you think about you wrote about isolation, you know, it's the parents feeling and I think you wrote someplace in the book was right in the beginning about sometimes the mother is feeling so bad because she's leaving the child with you, right? And how upset they are because they've got to go to work. And they're missing this part of the child's life. Right, then being a toddler, and not being able to be there for those moments that you 10 years had with so many other people's children. What a blessing that was for you. Because I know it was you know, you had some problems with the kind of conceiving that kind of thing. So I really want to honor you for this. I want to thank you for writing a great book for all of our listeners to go out again. Go to Florence and.com. Go to Amazon and buy a copy of the book. Thank you for being on compassionate, loving, kind soul that you are not mistake to you. Thanks so much.

Greg Voisen
Reflecting that right back. Thank you