Greg Voisen
Well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And we have Judy Wilkins-Smith joining us. And you're in Austin, is that right?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I'm in Tyler, which is actually Southeast of Dallas.

Greg Voisen
Southeast of Dallas. And she has written a new book called Decoding your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns. Really interesting, because when I did my course, in spiritual psychology, I did a histogram. And the histogram was quite revealing about how things repeat themselves and patterns. And we're going to be talking about that this morning with her, but I'm gonna let my listeners know a little bit about Judy. She's highly regarded organizational, individual and family pattern expert, a systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, a thought partner and Leadership Conference and motivational speaker, she helps individuals and groups and limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performances. And so she really does help people transform themselves and get unstuck. And so if you want to learn more about her, just go to Judy Wilkins, w-i-l-k-i-n-s hyphen smith.com. There, you can learn more about her programs, her events, and what she's up to, what's a pleasure having you on? Because, you know, I know people might think about this in the back of their mind, but it's not in the forefront of their mind frequently. And it takes somebody like you, with your expertise, to actually bring it back up so that they have an opportunity to work with it. Right, really engaged with what's going on. How did I get these patterns? How can I break these patterns. And you know, you in the introduction in the book, you state one ID, one word can keep you stuck. And that is true. Another idea, a new word, can set you free. Your minds are that powerful. That's how powerful the languages that we speak to ourselves. It's potent. And but the brains are flexible. That's the good thing. You say we are never a victim of our world. And there's always something we can do. How does our emotional DNA play a role in the patterns of decisions, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions we have daily?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, so thank you. So what we know is you inherit your physical DNA, but what most people don't realize is you also inherit those patterns of thoughts, feelings, actions, in actions, and that your emotional DNA, and it's really, really strong stuff, it's the stuff that will determine whether you will or won't, can or can't make money will or won't, can or can't have successful relationships impacted determines just about everything in your life. Now, the interesting piece of that is, it's often based on an event that happened way before you maybe two or three generations ago. And we know that as soon as there's an event, a significant event for you, you have a reaction to it, and you have a reaction that causes thoughts, and it causes feelings, and then it causes actions. And before you know it, you've your brain has toured your body, this is the new truth. And so it becomes, well, that also holds true through the generation. So you will have somebody who says, you see I work, you work, you work, you work along comes a Great Depression, you lose everything, there's no point in saving money, or what we pick up is don't save money, that it goes down through the degenerations. And suddenly, you really would like to have a nice day you'd like to have a bigger home, you'd like to feel safe. And you don't understand why you keep telling yourself, yes, but don't save money. Well, it's that pesky little piece that's come tumbling down. Because it means that something wasn't completed, the grandfather simply said don't save money, but he didn't say why. And he didn't talk about what had happened. And so that it goes down waiting for you to see it and go, but that's not working for me. And understand that that came that came down so that you could change it into something remarkable. That's totally usable. So what this is, is it's a whole series of doors and keys. Once you understand the language and the thoughts, the patterns, the feelings, the actions, these are all waiting for you to turn them into success, turn them into fulfillment. So it's not the third day to bug you. It's the third day to invite you or ignite you.

Greg Voisen
I liked the way you turn that around because the reality is I think a lot of people see those patterns They have a difficult time breaking them. They don't always know where they came from. We call them these old patterns, but they're there. And it's just like creating a new habit. Right? Right, people have to work at a new habit, you want to be slim, you have to eat less, you have to exercise more. It's a new habit. It's something that you weren't doing. But you're suggesting, and I think this is the fascinating part is that these multi-generational patterns and thoughts and beliefs have actually transferred. Now you state that from the time were conceived until long after we die, we're part of a multi-generational family system that goes back to the dawn of humanity. I have a feeling some of the listeners have a hard time maybe understanding that but I know you have scientific evidence that you can talk about, you also state we're part of a social system that's 1000s of years in the making. If this is part of our emotional DNA, let's just assume that you have a lot of naysayers out there, if because they don't know, they don't know. How do we identify and work with changing the things that are not serving us and acknowledging those things that are serving us.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So there's a third point as well, it's not just changing or acknowledging it's using. So first of all, changing it, we look at what's really, really and often this is the way we evolve. It's so uncomfortable, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Alright, so we know something has to change. When we really look at what it is that has to change. For us. That's the pattern trying to stop, you can ask yourself things like, how do I feel? How do I think, what am I telling myself about that? What do I make it mean about me and about others? Then ask yourself, did anybody else in the family have a similar pattern? So does it really belong to me? Or is it echoing through to me saying, hey, you can be the change agent. So that's the one piece you look for what really irritates, where you're always sad, mad, depressed, stuck. Those are your patterns trying to stop and they came from somewhere, you don't exist in a vacuum. Even if you don't know who your family is, it's there. So that's the one piece, when you acknowledge it, you're finally giving it a place because we know in systems, anything you exclude, happily hops down, the generations going, see me see me see me until we give it its place, then it no longer needs to be excluded, Nick can breed so that when the pattern stops, but there are also pieces in your life where you go, you know, I really wish. So what I say to people is look at what really, really has you stuck. And then what is the flip side of that? What do you really, really wish in regard to that. And you said, You've got to form new habits, you've got to kind of work at it, that's the one piece, you've got to work at it in a way that the brain tells the body a story that it can believe. In other words, to change it, there are a couple of things, you want an elevated emotion, like gratitude, kindness, joy, expectation, adventure, and you want that coupled to what it is to go or the new pattern. Because the minute you couple, those two, you're now so excited, nothing in on this world is going to stop you from getting what you want. And what it means is it bypasses it pulls your past all of the old excuses and all of the old reasons for not doing anything, because you're now focused here. And if you keep repeating that, you will get to where it is that you want to go. When you do that. It's not that you don't belong here anymore, it's that you've expanded the system. So you always look at the other and so that when I say to people, I say, my terrible mother,

Greg Voisen
how would you relate this? You know, I've actually been to classes with David Hawking. And, you know, you look at consciousness. And you know, all of us are trying to, I wouldn't say all of us, but a lot of people are attempting to reach their highest human potential should enter whatever that might be. But we all vibrate at a different level. So the vibratory level of which were emanating ourselves or coming out is different. And you're saying, Well, if you're elated, and you're exuberant, and you have happiness, you can almost nothing will stop you. You're instant you're unstoppable. And I would say that's true, because that kind of energy is contagious, right? It's very contagious. Does this have a strong connection? It's got to between our elevated consciousness, working with the systemic work that you're talking about, and the constellations,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
absolutely, and it also has a story On connection with neuroscience, because think about it, let's, let's go back to money. You say I've gotten and I've gotten and then this sort of uses imagine if I had, I'd really like to do that piece. I want to go and say, I want to get financially literate, I'm going to be smart, I'm going to build that cash and the wealth. It's not that magical. You're sitting on a sunbeam. And it's floating in. It's that frontal cortex is now open. And it's looking at, ah, I can learn about you I can show it's pulling in what it needs. Now, the old pattern was, we don't talk about money, because it doesn't do well in our family. You're going no, no, I see you. Let's talk about money. And let's change the story in the family. So you're changing the narrative, you're changing the way that you look at money, the brain is changing the way it sees it, you're having these winds and what happens is the body goes, Oh, this is true. You're becoming more literate. We have a different situation here. So it's not that it's magic mushroom cloud, it's you're literally creating that. And Greg, it's exactly the same way. As you say, I'm stupid. I'm useless. Can't do this. I'm hopeless. And you feel that in your body and your bodies is yep, that's the truth. You can't do that. We create or CO create all the time, we say yes and no, this is learning to say yes and no consciously, in an elevated manner. And so yeah, rewire the brain.

Greg Voisen
How is it though, you know, this is kind of a subject that you, I'm sure you can address. You run into people that are always victims of something. It's just like, next. It's next. Its next. Next, there's always some trauma going on in their life. It's like, that's what they live. With. What Why is it that one they're attracting that? And what belief patterns are they running around with, that they need to transmute or actually transition, to move to a state of not having that.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So when somebody comes to me, and they're permanently in a state of victimhood, which is really a nasty place to be in, because it's what I call The Big Sleep, what I do is, if they have knowledge, and this is why I love genealogy, if they have knowledge of their family system, many don't. But if they do, I'll take them. Where was the first big victim? Who was it? What is the big event in the family that that created that that victimhood? Because now it's rolling downhill to you? It's asking to be seen and changed. So where did it come from? Now? If you don't know, what we'll do is have a look at your life, your own timeline of your life? And see, where did that first happen for you? What was happening in your life at the time? What did you tell yourself about that? What did you feel about that? What did you do about that? Because now we have a sense of the pattern that's begun to form? Where did those words come from? When you first say those words? Where did they come from? So it's looking at where did it come from? And how is it inhabiting me, once you look at that you can say to the person or you can work with them? Okay. That's where the victimhood came from. And so, do you notice how every time something happens, you're just about to have that breakthrough, and you hit a brick wall, that's like your dad or your grandfather, there's that there's an unconscious loyalty to that pattern that was formed, because nobody spoke about it and drew it to conclusion. Nobody acknowledged it. So it became an exclusion. And it's asking you to give it its place, and re hyphen, member it into the system. And once you do that, it no longer needs to show up for you. Now you're free to do something else.

Greg Voisen
Like a big matrix. So yeah. So Judy, if you would speak with our listeners about systemic work and the conscious of the consciousness of the system are conscious of the system speak about the rules and regulations unique to each system and breaking free from the systemic trance so that our souls can evolve. And kind of in your case, you have the stepping stones, there's 25 of them, but you have stepping stones, these are one pages, one, two, in front of my listeners, you get the book, it's referenced on page 24 and 25. But speak with us if you would, because I think this is an important element of your book. And it is a way that you can help people transmit this.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So asked me again, exactly which one it is that you're asking me.

Greg Voisen
You speak about the systemic work,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
and the systemic transit, right, you asked about the conscience. So the conscience of the system is the rules of the system. In other words in your family, everybody has to be quiet and introverted. That's how we function in this family. Well, okay, where'd that come from? Well, when great grandfather was in, in Russia, if you raised your head got chopped, we learned to be quiet and introverted, that has now come all the way down. Then you come along, and you go, yeah, these rules of staying quiet and introverted are really not who I am, and you're super unhappy. You look at new guy just can't do it. And you start to do things that are a little bit different, you're a little bit more of an extrovert, you're doing all of that you're exuberant. What you would say is you're outside the conscience of the system. Because the conscience or the rules of the system is saying, no, no, no, no, keep quiet, be introverted. But here's what we know, you know, those patterns, we were talking about the ones that want to stop and the ones that want to start? Were the ones that want to stop, you're looking at that and going introverted doesn't serve us anymore. It certainly doesn't serve me I can't do what I'm doing this pattern, I have to change. So now you have a struggle. Do I do like the family does? Because if I am, and if I do, mom says do none. And Greg please, you know, really stopped with the extraversion and you go, okay. And you really, really want to be an extrovert, but you go, no, you know what, this feels so familiar, I'll just, I'll do that. And you're unhappy, but it's familiar. That's a systemic trance, you're doing something that isn't good for you. Because it's familiar, and it keeps you safe. But a lot of growth happens at that point where you go, I can't do this anymore. I'm an extrovert. I'm loud, I'm proud, I'm amazing, I can't do this. That's the pattern that's trying to emerge through you. That's the new pattern that's trying to start. And it's very important. It needs the old pattern, it needed that extra introverted family, where you to go, here's my chapter. And, and the chapter that changes things, is also a gift to the other, it's expanding the system. So each is in service of the other.

Greg Voisen
Now, you're talking about this on an individual level, and I want to take this to a next higher level. That is that if you look at our world order today, and you see what's being disrupted everything across the world, absolutely. Our political systems, our educational systems, our ikan, medicals medical systems, economic systems and so on. It's almost like they're out of order trying to seek a new order, almost like what you are talking about, at this individual level. Could you speak briefly about this disruption that's occurred, and the equilibrium or balance we're attempting to find but haven't found? You know where it's going? Sure.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So what you're talking about are meta systems. In other words, we've got big systems at the moment, the ones you discussed, and they know that something isn't including everybody, so it's trying to expand. And at the same time, the ones who aren't may not be including or going not so fast, because then I'm going to be excluded. What we haven't done yet is expand to where everybody has a sense of belonging. So there's very much a polarization, you have to do it this way. Or you have to do it this way. And you have the haves, and you have the have nots, we haven't created a laddering system, both laterally and vertically. That allows us to start stepping away in here's, here's the thing, when we want to hand out when we just want to receive things because our ancestors had a hard time we're out of order. The minute we do that we're trying to atone for what our ancestors did to someone else, or we're trying to get what from a somebody else, because our ancestors were disadvantaged, and you can't do that. So there's one of our big pieces. We're stepping out of order and trying to solve problems. For others. You can't do that. What you can do is look and say, if this didn't work, and this didn't work, what can we do together? That allows it to work differently in a way that everybody feels calm and can be long. So while we've got the polarized pieces, showing us what to weigh out, we've got a whole lot of people in the middle waiting for us to say, can we just stop with the ultra this or the ultra that? Both sides? Both Ultras have to be included? Because if we exclude either all you do is you get keep getting that ripple effect.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, very good explanation of it. It's a very good grasp. It's a feeling I think that many people have, and they don't know how to express it or how to deal with it, but they deal with it, by probably not even talking about it, or on a daily basis doing nothing. But it's worth, you know, it was worth our dialogue there about it,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I appreciate it. And you know, when we do nothing, we get more of the same. I know, I, back in South Africa, the I would I spoke, I spoke English. And at the time of recounts was the other language. But if you didn't speak Afrikaans, you were disadvantaged. Here was the thing that my parents taught me. You don't sit there and be a victim, you figure out what it is that you want, and you figure out how you're going to get it. There is always a way. And I think that's something I carry with me. I don't expect somebody to come to me, but I do know that I can figure it out. And I love that process. If you tell me no, I'm going to go out. Now, the other thing that I learned working with systems is, I won't, it's not about fighting, we talk a lot at the moment, we have very inflamed language. And we talk about fighting and rights and all of this sort of thing. It's not about fighting, it's about adding value. When I could add enough value, the system that that I was up against would look and go Oh, yep, that's interesting. Come on in. So I learned if I wanted to advance, that was my job, nobody else's.

Greg Voisen
Well, it had no value always adds to the equation. And it's almost like the concept of infinity, right? We have to keep adding all the time, you're never going to get to the end of infinity. Now, we don't know how many universes exist out there. We don't know how many other globes are spinning with other souls just like us that are trying to do the same things. And so that puts it a bit in perspective. And you said that it takes understanding the existing blueprint to create emotional DNA? How do we decode our DNA to break free and get unstuck from the patterns of language, that could be holding us back from finding our true selves? Because, you know, there's a lot of talk about true self. I'm not certain that many listeners maybe even myself included, and I've done, you know, 25 years of personal growth work. You kind of look at what his true self because it's always evolving.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I was gonna say, you know, what a better explanation is the evolving self. Yeah, yeah. Evolving self. Yeah, I like that even more evolving self is even more resonant for me.

Greg Voisen
I think because the discomfort. I had an author on here not long ago, let's talk about discomfort because we live in a society where other societies look at us and say, hey, you know, we really want you guys to be in discomfort. We want you guys to have it hard for a while, right? Like we have, but we don't have to claim that. My point is, is that that term, the author was talking about your growth. And here's the duality and the dichotomy can't have black without White can have good without bad is that fact that he's saying? Discomfort creates that growth? Where would you sit on this with relation to this? Finding back and finding ourselves finding our evolving self, which is really the question,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
what I would say is, he's right from the way I would put it is you've got to come out of the systemic trance. In other words, everybody in our family, whatever's has a bad relationship, all the men go and the women are left alone. Okay? You can do that. How's that working for you? If you want something to really work for you, you've got to be willing to get beyond the systemic trance, or the way that it is. That's not what we're here for. We're here for what's possible. And we start that I mean, we're given that lesson as kid and babies, a baby doesn't walk until it wants to. It has this Oh, you're doing that? I want to do that. And so our wants are what pulls us past the systemic trance. So when people say to me, we've been taught to not want, my brain goes along. Now want a lot, but don't just want it, do something about it. One new thought one new feeling one new action at a time. And you're going to find that the more you're willing to open your eyes, the more there is a really big interactive universe out there. And it's waiting for you to come play.

Greg Voisen
Yeah. I like what you're saying because the reality is that creates growth, and then growth. Within growth. There's always opportunity. There's opportunity there to see things from a different perspective from a different purview from a different vantage point. You know, I'm not saying rose colored glasses, I'm just saying that you're seeing things differently. And then you're able to kind of put the pieces together, the dots, I call it putting the dots together, right. And, you know, you speak about what you refer to as constellation, which is a facilitated three dimensional process that enables you to see all parts. And again, this comes down to the dots of the issue, and the spatial relationship among the components, along with the various origins and impacts of the issue. Can you speak about those constellations? And how we can better kind of see that?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, absolutely. And then remind me and let's come back to the suffering piece that we were touching on. So a constellation is indeed a 3d process, it's probably the most powerful part of all of this work. People come to events to come and experience a constellation. It's that powerful, because what it does is, we sit down and take a history, we look at the issue that you're wanting to deal with, we're going to when that started for you, who else in the family, all of those pieces, until we know who belongs in this issue? What are the components of this issue? Maybe it's Mom, maybe it's dad, siblings, you may be an uncle. And so then what I say is, okay, pick someone in the group, someone in the audience, who can represent your father, someone to represent your mother, someone to represent your siblings, one for you, one for that uncle. And once they've selected us, great, now, I want you to show me what that looks like in relationship to this issue. So maybe all the women struggle with men or struggle to have a relationship, show me what that looks like. And, and they will place mom over here and maybe grandmother over there and themselves over here. But what they do is they're giving me a spatial representation of how it is in their family. So then I can see who's distant, who's engaged, who's disengaged, where the lot hidden loyalties, who's turned away. And what does that mean, because I'll often ask, Why is your father looking at it? Well, he never came. When he came back from the war, he was never the same. So I'll put a representative over there where he's looking. And often you'll see that Representative move towards that space. And I asked, so he was in war. Yes. He saw live action. Yes. They didn't come back. Yes, he hasn't completed. That's one of the reasons that we have a struggle here based where the men have disappeared, what's going on with the woman? So by asking questions, and they suddenly start to remember, Oh, well, we have this in the family. And we have that in the family. And mom was never particularly engaged with us. Are there any miscarriages? Is there a Was there anybody lost or she lost a child? And if we put a representative down, often the person will look at their child as it was just before or after you? After me, but Mom was never the same. Do you see where her attention was? Oh, so it wasn't me. She wasn't looking at No, she was looking here. So now they start to have different insights. I have so many, one, one person in particular, who say to me, oh, my goodness, for 63 years, I've thought I was unlovable, I'm looking at the picture. I'm listening and remembering what my mom said to me. And I suddenly realize it had nothing to do with me. I'm lovable. What do I do with that? And so then we start looking at so what is the issue that you're looking at? Well, I struggled to be a good leader, or I struggled to have a relationship. Do you see that this was moms struggle, and maybe grandmother's struggle, and you really don't have to repeat that. You can acknowledge it and see what happened. And perhaps now you look at men a little differently. And there is invitation instead of Oh, I know what's about to happen. So it's a very powerful 3d process. And what happens is, because they're looking at it, and they're hearing it, they're walking, and they're maybe touching, suddenly, they start to have these insights, a multi-sensory insight that becomes an embodied experience. And because it's the embodied experience, they have the aha moment, and the rewiring of the brain and the body starts immediately.

Greg Voisen
And as like the reenactment of a play,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
it really is, it is and they'll say, Oh, my goodness, I'm not stupid. I'm really and this wasn't my fault. And just saying this wasn't my fault is so I can go and do that. And you can see them start turning already and I said, So what are you going to go and do now? Well, I'm I know there was always sadness in the family up income, the joy. Does that feel Rocky? Yes. Now they've just begun recoding that emotional DNA and they know what their purpose is, and they know what their direction is. And that's because it's such a strong three De peace. Well, it

Greg Voisen
is a 3d and I can see how you set that up. For somebody reading the book, I know you do these in your workshops, so it's a great way to do it. And I will tell people, she's got an upcoming workshop as well. And you might want to get signed into that if it isn't sold out, go to our website, because that's a perfect opportunity. Or there'll be more opportunities for that because I think actually, physically doing that or working with you to do that would be the best thing they could do. Now, you mentioned that systemic work and constellations may seem startling in their effectiveness, even disturbingly uncanny, just like he talked about. And there can be many credible scientific explanations from the fields of neuroscience, epigenetics, quantum physics, psycho, neuro immunology, breaking up what's happening? Can you discuss the scientific explanations? Because I think are there people out there that are a little more practical scientific, when you have all those nice big words explaining all of those per what I want to call it fields of study? It's that's a pretty broad viewpoint on fields of study, which actually kind of prove this.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yes, absolutely. So if we start with something like epigenetics, epigenetics is about the gene expression. Okay. So what we know is that if there is a significant event, it creates an emotional imprint on the system. And that becomes a blueprint for generations of behavior. If you look at 911, that's the most recent one that they studied. They studied women's PTSD markers. And the woman who had been pregnant with children at the time had elevated PTSD markers. But so did the children. If you go back to the great Dutch Hangul winter, there was an entire city in the Netherlands that was surrounded by the Nazis because they'd sympathized with the allies. And for three months, there was no food, no water, they existed on what was there. And what they did was they went in and tested those women, the women who had been pregnant, and there was an assortment of eating disorders that they had that the children had, but for four generations, so far, those continue to show up. Now, are they reversible? If we were to look at them differently, if we were to study them systemically might that change, it's entirely possible because don't forget, we're either operating by the biology of stress, or by the biology of elevation. So the minute you activate the stress hormones, here we go. And this is what it does to the body, and it damages the body, the minute we activate the elevated ones, it starts to transform the body. So

Greg Voisen
you might, you might be aware of the ACE studies, AC II, of higher, so Kaiser started that it's childhood experiences. But it, they've literally proven that if they give you this test, and it's through Kaiser, they've been working on this now for 20 years, and they've studied 1000s and 1000s of people, they can actually tell based upon the way you answer those questions, your propensity to obesity, how much how long you will live, they have predictive indicators that are extremely accurate. I'm very accurate. I'm working with a doctor that actually came up with that,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
gosh, I would love to meet them, I have to say, because that would be super helpful. Yeah,

Greg Voisen
yeah, they're called ACE AC E, when you might want to look that up. But they have been thus taking those questionnaires. And that there's a lot of men and women that come into these clinics that are clinically obese, and they're trying to remove it. But they when they go to those childhood experiences, they can see why they were they get to the root cause of it. And they really are able to lose much more weight. So I

Judy Wilkins-Smith
love that now here's where I go, yes, yes to the root cause, because if you don't have your root cause you're going to keep repeating. So now you've got the root cause and you can lose weight. But what I would say is the piece that we keep missing is and then and then. So now I'm going to lose weight. And then what if you if somebody says to me, I've found out what it is that keeps the weight on, you know what I want to I want to run a marathon, or I want it whatever it is, and then they have a concrete goal, but it really excites them. It means that it helps both the weight loss and it starts to move them forward. So they're not going to start recidivism. Right You don't get that cycle. So you really want to move it because even though you're fixing the one what you were missing that you can also transform or use that to transform them and move to the next level.

Greg Voisen
Well, let's talk about transformation. You have a chapter in the book called Practical Magic, aka transformation. Speak with our listeners about the differences between magic and transformation and why waiting on the mountainside for the bolt of lightning is that's going to come out and strike and not inside where the real transformation occurs. In other words, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, I'm gonna be able to transform like that, it's just boom, I'm gonna see this stroke of lightning, and it's gonna happen. And it's from the outside in, not the inside out. The key transformation occurs from the inside out. That's what I want you to speak about.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Exactly. And that's what you get in the constellation when you talk about that. For some people, it can take a while, but there are many people who will stand there. And they're so willing to look, and they're so willing to be there that it happens that quickly. And we'll keep layering. Absolutely. Yes, everything is within, you know, the sages have said, for how many centuries, everything you need is within you. It would just be nice if they could explain that a little bit more. So we didn't have to go internally dumpster diving. What they're saying is, you've got your lineage, whether you know it or not, it's there, you can find it, you've got your patterns, you have your thoughts, you have your feelings, you have your actions, you have your mindset, you have your truth, only it's not the truth. It's simply your truth. And the minute you begin to change that one thought, one feeling one action at a time, you can literally no longer have the same outcome in your life. And now you're also not reliving ancient history, you're creating current and future in a completely different way. So if you're going to sit in the hope that a bolt of lightning comes out, I'm sure that that does for the 1% of the 1%. Maybe we're not that evolved yet. But I think what's most important is literally everybody can improve, elevate and transform where they are now, as long as they pay attention. And as long as they really want it. Don't forget, for most of us, there's a there's a really big sleep, victimhood right now, it's very popular. And so if we're victims, we don't need to do anything, because we can just kind of hang out everybody's a victim. So it's when you start to understand that life truly is an adventure. And you truly can make it something that you love and are proud of that you begin changing those thoughts from being just somebody in a whimsical universe that might or might not like you to a co creating person, in your own world, you are not a victim in your own.

Greg Voisen
I like the fact that you speak with them as truths versus beliefs. You know, we become a knowing you know, we have a knowing of what it is, you mentioned that there are that you're constantly telling clouds that over time, the details of events fade, but the symptoms get louder and louder. Until they're seen. They're resolved and integrated, which is what you're talking about when you do the constellation, speak with us about limiting issues. And being a powerful sign that something new is needed. Now you've spoken a little bit about it. But it's kind of like maybe some people are aware of the limiting issues, and others aren't even aware of the limiting issues, because they're living in a world that is their world of beliefs, and, and thoughts. And they're not able to kind of break through three of the through, and they need something that tells them hey, this is a limiting belief. Or this is a limiting thought, this is where I am. And they don't always see it right away anyway for them to actually see it clearer, faster, quicker.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, I'm stuck. I'm stuck here. I can't do anything. Why? Well, because in the system, you're not allowed to really. Is that the truth? Or is it something that you've grown to believe I keep saying to people, not challenge the truth, but re ask yourself about that. So in our family, everybody's bad at math. When did that happen? Well, you know, I flunked on my first grade test and dad said, Don't worry, everybody's bad. Matt. Is that the truth?

Greg Voisen
I, when you say this, it's funny, and he didn't write but I remember my interviews of Byron Katie. And she always used to, you know, Byron, Katie is right. Yeah. She was saying, Is it true? Is it is it really true? Because the person would come up on stage and they, she'd say to her, she said, Mom, I relationships horrible. I'm, you know, everything's bad and you know, he's miserable. He treats me bad. She goes, Is it true? And then we think for a second we go, Well, maybe not. So is it really, really true? So I think you're absolutely right is that we, I say we're in a world of MSU, making stuff up, and then start believing the stuff that we made up. And then we start living our lives around the stuff that we made up,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
and especially the bad stuff. Yep, the bad stuff. And I don't

Greg Voisen
wear my bumper sticker is, but I have one, I should put it up. I've done it before I gotta find it again. And it says, You don't have to believe everything you think.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I love that. It goes, I really love that. And it goes back to No, you don't. And guess what, you're actually the magician in this picture, by the way? When people say as you think so it is. We look at that and go Yeah, that's an old thing. No, it's really, really. So if I think I'm stupid, hopeless and dumb at math. Am I even going to try? No, because I'm stupid and dumb at math. But if I'm stupid and dumb at math, in my mind, and over there is that promotion I really love. But they want a math equivalent. I have a choice right now. I could undo them and start learning some of that math. Right? Yeah, it's really in our own hands. We like to think that we're victims. We also by the way, I wanted to come back to that. We love to think that suffering is sacred. And I got into big trouble for saying no, it's not if you do it all the time. It's stupid, not sacred, you're not looking?

Greg Voisen
Well, it's true that your book, decoding your emotional blueprint is certainly an opportunity for people to dig into this, as I was going through the book, I saw so much wisdom and so much opportunity. And the stepping stones that you put at the end of each chapter, are opportunities for people to actually take a deeper dive to really dig into the work. And I want to close this up with, you know, got 25 of these systemic stepping stones within the book. If you were to leave the listeners with three ideas or thoughts to contemplate regarding decoding their emotional blueprint, what advice would you like to leave with them one of these, you know, all these great chapters you've got, but if there were some true nuggets, that you'd say, Hey, here's what you could do. Because you always have now, every time we've talked, you've moved to action. So this is the action step and the interviewer, what is the action that they can take?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, so you're not a train wreck. I don't care where you are in your life, you are not a train wreck? Have a look at what keeps coming at you all the time? What is the one that you say it's bad, and here it comes again, and then look at it and ask it what it's trying to become? That's your first one. Sit down and ask yourself, How do I feel about the way it is? And if I could change this? What do I feel about that and go through that process. So that would be one transformation is not for the chosen few. It's for anyone who chooses it at any time at any age. You don't have to be a wise eight year old and you don't have to be a dying 99 year old at any age transformation is yours. If you choose it, how do you choose it? Have a look at all of the sorts that you hold that are this is a place I love to send people, the places you're the most dogmatic? are the places where your systems are trying to change where you say it is absolutely so I will not budge off this. What happens if you do because on the other side of will not budge might be something absolutely remarkable. And then I think the third one for me, and I'll relate this to me. I was in South Africa was in the healthcare system. And one day, I was in the lab and somebody walked in and said, Hey, Bugs Bunny and I have very black tea. And I can remember standing there thinking, you know, in two years’ time the same person could come through that door and say the same thing. Or if I instead of going well My smile is fine the way it is just thought about how it could be. And I took myself off to the orthodontist today in two years’ time. That same person could come in and say oh my goodness, you have a beautiful smile. Guess you went to the orthodontist that day. And it was amazing for me that was the one so take yourself beyond your not your comfort zone, your complacency zone. Look for the adventure. Don't ever settle for less than the adventure in your life. You're doing yourself a terrible disservice because here's the deal. If you want the adventure, you can have it. Well,

Greg Voisen
that applies to so many things that happen on our life from replays ships to travel to business opportunities to ventures. It's there, you know, I've some of the widest sages have said, you know, as the boat floats down the stream, are you going to sit on the side of the stream and let float boat go by? Are you going to get on the boat and participate and ride the waves? Right? And I think as an analogy, it's a great one. Because so many people are observers. You know, there are observers, to the extent that they're complacent about it, they don't want to get on and write it because they think that the raves might be too rough. And they might fall out of the boat. Right? And

Judy Wilkins-Smith
they've been told you're small, we're all staying small. It's not about you. Only 1% of people ever get. Only 1% of people ever make it because only 1% of people think that they can start being the 10 and 20%. And let's, let's change that. Yeah.

Greg Voisen
It's perfect. This book is perfect. Decoding your emotional blueprint. We've been on with Judy Wilkins Smith. Judy, thanks so much for spending time with our listeners and insight, personal growth, and giving them an opportunity to understand more about their, I'm going to say how to decode the DNA, the history that they bring along with them that they don't even realize is really happening. And much of it is holding them back

Judy Wilkins-Smith
in the future,

Greg Voisen
and offering them an opportunity to transform the magic, the transformation. Thank you so much. Namaste to you. Thank you for your time this morning. appreciate it so much. Great interview and great opportunity to speak with you about your new book.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Thank you and Greg, thank you for the little bit of magic that you brought.