Greg Voisen
Hey, Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And you're joining me from where today, Alex, that blue room, you're in the Blue Room. So we are just outside of Boulder, Colorado. All right, so he's in Boulder, Colorado, he said outside, he's going to be in Boulder soon and introduce him to mountain climber. We have Alex Weber on and Alex wrote a book called fail proof become the unstoppable you a lot of great wisdom in this book. We were just talking about the guy who summited neurourol. All 14 of the highest peaks in the world in six months in six days. And for is a plug for that. For anyone who hasn't seen project possible go look for the trailer as well. This book is a great accompany. To that, because we have Alex on talking about how to be unstoppable. Alex, I'm going to let our listeners know about you. He's an international keynote speaker award winning entertainer for NBC and competitor on the Emmy nominated series American Ninja Warrior. So obviously, that climbing the mountain for all those Ninja Warriors is a good deal. Alex has positively impacted millions worldwide to achieve breakthrough success. Alec proudly wears the badge of failing expert and you know, you learn from your failed failures. And I like to call them learning lessons. You know, that's my own little way to reframe it. You know, Steven Kotler has been on here about six times the guy who studies all the crazy athletes. And you know, it's how you reframe this stuff. And I'm sure you're going to talk to my listeners about that is a global thought leader. A US Lacrosse Coach of the Year lectured at Stanford Business, said world record and won award and won awards for hosting for NBC. But Alex also understands what it feels like to hit setbacks, self doubt, pressures, uncertainty in the course of failures and how you can overcome those failures. He's courageous, he's positive, he's outgoing, he's a good guy. You can learn more about Alex by just going to his website. And the website, I have it up here is I am a l e x web er.com. That's where you can learn more about Alex Weber and the book. And you can actually go there and watch and do a keynote. Can they download some excerpts of the book from their to Alex?

Alex Weber
You know, I had I posted some things on social media kind of me reading passages and things like that.

Greg Voisen
Okay, well, if you want go to that website to learn more, we'll put a link to amazon so that you can get a book. So look, Alex, in the book, you tell lots of encouraging stories about yourself, you obviously have a great background, the Ninja Warrior stuff, the NBC stuff. And to set the stage for this interview and give the listeners a little context for the book. Tell the listeners a bit about yourself, and what are the reasons behind helping people become unstoppable and fail proof? It isn't the easiest thing in the world to do. You know, there aren't a lot of people like that mountain Klaver, who just have unstoppable determination. And it's usually around fears, the fear of becoming too big of a success, or the fear of failure.

Alex Weber
Yeah, that's, I mean, you hit on something very big there with the fear of success and the fear of failure. And, you know, we'll touch on at all. And just to kind of hop into what your first question is why that I wanted to do this. And it wasn't that introduction, you know, I just really know the experience from both sides, I have not had All successes, boom, boom, boom, one after another. And even within those, there's been hard moments that lead to the quote, unquote, put it on a resume or a book flap, the things that we all want, you know, put it on LinkedIn. But to get to those nice results that we want, you got to go through some tough times. And I just know what that feels like very much, whether that's out in the world, or there can be some really tough times when the world gets quiet, and it's just you and you alone, and the internal voice. So that's what really fires me up is you know, I've been someone who struggled with confidence. I struggled with believing in myself, I started with my own fears. And I did even while speaking in front of 10s of 1000s of people live competing on American Ninja Warrior doing all these things. So that's really what fired me up is giving people tools so that they can do it too.

Greg Voisen
When were you on American Ninja Warrior cuz I used to watch it incessantly. And I think I remember you to be honest with you. You were on more than once, weren't you? Yeah. So you were the guy that was on two or three times.

Alex Weber
So I hosted with the series for two years, I was hired by NBC to be a host, okay, hosted for two years, fell in love. I'm a two time competitor was set to be three time competitor and broke my hand right about when the competition was so talking about getting knocked on your booty. I felt that too. So it's an incredible world. It's been in my life now for five years, which is a it's a solid chapter.

Greg Voisen
Well, you know, you look at the guys that actually compete to get on that show. And women, I don't want to leave them out. Because there were some strong ass women that competed on America where I mean, just crazy. Jesse graph, is it what was one? You know, and I'm thinking to myself, Man, and there were women up on Kaitou that this guy ran into that helped them Summit, they had gotten frayed, they came back to base camp. And Iran said, Hey, no, no, no, no, you can't let your fears get you. I'm going to take you up because they were just like, literally, and he did. And when you see this thing, you see this guy was no one left behind. No One Left Behind. But that comes to this chapter in title. Welcome, your fail, prove wife, you mentioned that failing is discouraging and frustrating. It's embarrassing. You see, people fail on Ninja Warrior, they fall in the water, they fall off the thing. And it's because of maybe where they set their hand. And it's really the million dollar adjustment, isn't it? It's like a baseball player with Yeah, you know, how much are we going to adjust to hit the ball out of the park? Yeah. You mentioned that we call this you're an expert failure and failure, and yet, take it as a huge compliment. Why do you consider failure as a compliment? And how do you usually respond to failure?

Alex Weber
Yeah, well, you said something really important there. So fail, we all fail, we all fail, whether we realize it or not, you miss a deal, that's a fail. But also you get in an argument with someone you love, that's a fail. Most people don't have the awareness to recognize it. And so it just kind of gets chalked up until life, when there's really a beautiful opportunity to do something about it there. So fail is what we all have and fail would be on American Ninja Warrior. And that's happened to me this year, I put my hand in a wrong place, boom, splash fail, okay. Failure, in my opinion, is when that fail makes us stop. If we stop, if we disengage with going after the goal that we want, whether that's loud, I quit or quietly, and we just kind of like back away from it disengage that is a failure. But if we take it in stride, and continue to go after our goal and use it, then a fail becomes failing, and failing is forward failing is progress, embracing and learning.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, so how do you help people get rid of that cognitive dissonance, you know, between, you know, there's a couple ways to look at reaching a goal. It's the outcome that I expect, but then the outcome I achieved, and it's not always the same one. It's not always, you know, like, Hey, I'm going for the gold, but instead I got bronze. Yeah. And you went, Oh, man, I'm a failure because I didn't get the gold but gold, gold. That's what I'm going for. In and a lot of my listeners know me. In my world, you know, I'm I practice self realization Fellowship, which is probably closer to Buddhism, anything. And you know, the Buddhists will say, don't get attached. You know, because when you're attached to the outcome, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. So how would you address with people that are out there, and they're just so driven like crazy if they don't actually achieve it? You know, because in this, in this case, with a mountain climbing and 14 peaks, over the course of six months, in six days, the Chinese closed the Last Mountain for the guy. So initially, he had to go on social media, and get a million people to tell the Chinese government to open up the mountain so he could do it. But he had the strong determination to actually get on social media, start a campaign get the government to change their mind, and they finally gave him a pass to go up the mountain was what you call a stop.

Alex Weber
You nailed it. I you know, that is another thing and why I do really like this word unstoppable is because it doesn't mean that you're not going to get knocked on your door. It doesn't mean that you're not going to fall short, it doesn't mean that challenges aren't going to come, whether we expected them or not like they close a mountain. But unstoppable, relentless to me means it doesn't matter, he does not matter what you throw, I'm going to keep coming. And if we can tap into that energy, it's tough to deny that person, if that person is just keeps coming. And a big piece of the book, too, is you are learning as you do. So it's not just you, we're not stubborn, and we're just beating our heads against the wall. Each time we're learning and we're incrementally getting better. Our graph or chart is going to keep trending up to the point that you'll get there, you will get there. But most people you said cognitive dissonance, I think that emotions, and I come from top level athletics I, I grew up with someone, my dad who I love to pieces, but wasn't really in control of his emotions. Those in my opinion of elite performers, whether that's in business or sports, emotions get disregarded as like an afterthought. Yeah, we don't have time for that. Just lock it up and do it. And that'll get you a certain way, of course, toughen up and do it. Of course, yeah, unless we learn how to handle this incredible variable that we have, and actually learn how to use it, because it's there, we can't block it out how to use it. That is what ultimately, in my opinion, determines when people stop or are unstoppable.

Greg Voisen
Well, you know, you get you bring up a great example, your dad was athlete you were and then you look at Phelps. And he comes on now and does ads for depression. Right, a drug that, you know, actually he's doing counseling. But you know, he said he became extremely depressed, even though he won all these gold medals. Right. And the reality is, is that he admits he was trained to just kind of keep going and stuff it. Right. Yeah. And all that caught up with him. Right. So any advice for people on not to get caught in that loop?

Alex Weber
Well, I think that I think that it comes down to, who do you want to be. And if who you want to be aligns with the actions that are going on in the world and your actions, then I think you're in a good place. But I have felt that too, especially over the last year and a half with a lot of things going on in the world that if that of who I felt like I need to be didn't align with my actions. That is where for me, I fell into some depressing or darker times. So I really think it comes with first and foremost what I call in the book, brave honesty. And bravery can take a lot of different forms. It's not always big, tough, sometimes it's just looking at ourselves and our lives and just saying, I'd like for this to be better. Or I thought this would be here by now. And it's not. And usually, again, we put a box around that and we push it away. But if we can actually go into that, then we can do something about it. And the last piece that I'll say is to accomplish anything meaningful. Well, there's only X amount, there's only 24 hours in the day, we only have as much energy focus, we are not limitless in terms of our resources that we can use. So what that means is there will be a stretch of time to accomplish something, whether that's an American enjoy, or Olympics or launching your new your business's new campaign, where things are going to have to be sacrificed. What I imagined, though, is maybe that period for Phelps of sacrifice, didn't have a six months or a one year timeline, it might have had a decade or two decades timeline.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, a very long time. Yeah. And that is

Alex Weber
not sustainable. No, it's

Greg Voisen
not. It's there's no balance there. You know, and I think we can talk about, you know, people talk about life, work life balance, right. But when you see athletes that wake up at four o'clock in the morning, go swim in the pool until 10. And then they have time to go to school, or whatever they do. And then they come back and they do it again in the afternoon. You got to think to yourself, hey, there's got to be something a little more fun that I could do other than just swim laps in the pool, right? Sure. So and continue to improve my times. And in chapter two titled How to Become fail proof, you tell an interesting story about the failed proof system. That's what you call this. I'd say this is kind of a, this is the big part of your book. Yeah. Tell the audience a little bit about the failed proof system and how it transformed your life.

Alex Weber
Yeah, and you bring up such a good point about you know, the person in the gym, or swimming and, you know, and I'll also say that I've done a lot different sports, swimming, just to go off this little tangent, swimming, gymnastics. Let's see what else figure skating. There's a few of these sports that are particularly wrestling particularly more demanding in ways than other sports. You know, figure skaters and swimmers they're like in the pool and in the rink at like, 5am you lacrosse, football, basketball, baseball, we got long practice, we're going tough, but it's usually after school. So I always felt like those sports where there was an extra degree of demand and sacrifice. That can be rough. Let's just call it like it is that can be rough. So well,

Greg Voisen
I know I was a CIF champion in wrestling so. So you know what happened is I wouldn't call myself a champion. I was like a kid in high school. So I wrestled. I wrestled at 156, which I haven't seen 156 and on time, but, but my point was, is the demand of that particular sport like any singular sport, tennis, you name it, there's a lot of them right? Where it's just you, you and the other person on the mat. Right? Gymnastics you against the vault, you get something to perfect it. And I will say there's something quite unique, even surfing. It's you. Right? Skiing a downhill skier. It's you. It's not a team sport, but it does require more, I would say more dedication.

Alex Weber
Yeah. It does. And you know, wrestling is one where you have that added layer of you got to cut weight. That's just a that's just a rough experience gymnastics. Call it like it is gymnastics. It's a beautiful sport, but it's rough on the body. Yeah, yeah. Skinny gymnasts. It's rough on the body. So there's just, you know, there's that's just part of it. Um,

Greg Voisen
but Simone Biles fell into the same thing this year with not competing and getting depressed. And, of course, we had a COVID year I know there's a lot of shit that was going on, or family wasn't there. But she really just said I can't compete, she stopped. She does. She literally for the what last week of the event, right? She just cut out. So you know, you look at that and there's got to be enough pressure. I know under pressure, what happens is a diamond is formed or an oyster is formed. But at some point, when the pressure is just too much mentally, I think people crack

Alex Weber
I think that can definitely happen. And I think that that goes back to that sustainability. You know, this wasn't Simone Biles first time, right? So it's not like the moment was too big for her. I have no idea. And so I'm kind of just speculating, right. But I imagine there was just I imagined her perspective change where it was, you know, what to compete here is not where I feel like my heart is and not where I feel like my desire and want and who I want to be in what I want to do. And you know, she's already got it, she's got the gold. So it's a that's one where I you know, I think it's, there's a lot of different angles on it. But it's one where I think, to accomplish something very hard, you have to have a very strong drive. And I have felt this and know a lot of athletes where, for better or worse, that drive came to us in early age where we need to prove something, we need to prove that we're enough, we are chasing something. So in terms of like mental health and emotional well being. That's not how you want to go through life. Right? From a standpoint of drive. It's incredibly powerful. Where we are, I believe in sports and peak performance and business. And all of this is how do we marry this sense of wanting something so badly, you will do absolutely anything to make it happen. While also knowing in your core, that if it doesn't, you're still worthy, you're still enough, you can still live. And that is a tightrope. It's a tight rope.

Greg Voisen
Well, you know, I remember Steven Kotler saying, and I've said this before, my listeners might think I'm a broken record, but there's nobody that studied performance athletes more than that guy, okay. And he said, Look, focus is for free. Curiosity is really important. After curiosity, you have to have a purpose. After you define your purpose, you can define your goals. After you define your goals, you got to have the grit and determination to work through the goals. Now, when you look at that little five step model, and you say focus is for free. Okay, your focus is, but a lot of people can't even get the focus done to say that I'm going to do this singular thing and want to compete in lacrosse or swim or whatever. They're like they're all over the place. Right? And then it's like that. It's like, focus and then a purpose. So what you said about three minutes ago was, is it in alignment with me? Yes. And I think a lot of people, they do something because their dad or their mom wanted them to do it or whatever. And it isn't really in alignment with him yet, you know, who knows? Maybe Phelps got pressure from parents, I don't know, it's not important. What's important is, if it isn't for you, this is where self love and compassion come in. You got to have self love and compassion and make it through that spot. Yeah, right, you got to love yourself.

Alex Weber
You do. And so two thoughts come to mind. You know, for me, a purpose has been the number one in my flowchart of, because I realized that if I have the purpose, and it's really beating in me, I'm able to summon the focus, the energy, the effort, the grit. But to decide that purpose is where you know, and I use a word in the book explore, and that's very aligned with what you were saying of curiosity, is we got to do things, we got to talk to people, we got to try things, we got failed things, we got to just get a splash board of different pieces and evidence. And then what I believe is that when you get this, then you can put together the puzzle piece of okay, this is where this is the pieces that feel right to me. Now, how does it show up in the world? You know, I look at all my chapters of life have what I was really drawn to, you know, I was a capitalist sports team in high school, I used to love giving pumpup talks to them. And then college I didn't really because I wasn't named a captain, it was something that I really wanted. And I couldn't make sense of why I wasn't given it. And I had a lot of ups and downs in college across. But that did lead me to when I coached high school lacrosse, I could use those lessons of the down moments. And that's where I won us Lacrosse Coach of the Year. And a lot of it was okay, I liked speaking in front of these athletes, I like working with them. And that led to TV hosting, which led to stand up comedy which led to being an international speaker. So some of this, you know, Steve Jobs has a great quote of you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking backwards. And what that means to me is you got to just whatever's firing you up, don't worry too much about how it all works out. Just focus on the input, give everything you have to it. And that will then be a puzzle piece that you can use to put together the puzzle of what you want to do in the world.

Greg Voisen
And I think I think also for athletes, we've been focusing on athletes, but there's other places to apply this. There's teams inside companies is really, you know, life isn't an individual game. No man is an island. We're not out there by ourselves. We have coaches, we have parents, we have friends, we have girlfriends, we have wives, we've whatever, those people play such a critical role in our mental health, and in our ability to, you know, go to the next level. And I think that's really important. What are the six steps don't walk your goal? Yeah, leadership that you have. Because, you know, you give people six steps in this book. These are the fundamentals. So let's, let's do it, that's fine.

Alex Weber
You nailed it, you know, teams are everywhere, teams are in sports teams are in companies, teams have families, a team or relationships, a team of friendships to you and you your own life as a team. So you know, I think we're geeking out on sports, because they're fun. And also, they make things very clear. One of the reasons I love sports, there's no wiggle room, you know, there's, there's the scoreboard at the end of the day. So it makes things very clear. But these six steps, they apply to everything. And it's, you know, leadership is a big piece of what I speak on. And I view if we want to authentically be leaders, for others, we have to start with self leadership. So the first step of these six steps is setting goals that actually matter. So to do that, and so much of life doesn't matter, especially now. It's so noisy and busy and hectic to be a human being. So it's taking that time to look at your life, explore it, and just ask, What do I want? What do I want to be here? Who do I want to be? What do I want to look like? Is there a side of myself that, you know, maybe I'd like to embrace my creativity or I'd like to step up and be a leader? What is so that's for

Greg Voisen
now, there's a lot of people out there that would say, that's great. That's great. But and here's the but you said the noise you said the noise. I love that. Because there is a lot of noise to get distracted. But it's a fog, too. Yeah. 100% and, and they'll say, you know, I got a brain fog. I know he wants me to go do this explore. I don't even know where the shift is start. Got it. You know, so would you know for those people that are kind of lost in the fog, they can't see. And there's frequently there's a reason for that, but they can't get out of that funk. Would you have any like suggestion for getting out of the fog besides turning on the lights?

Alex Weber
Yeah. 100% the first is His ownership of no one is going to push you out of the fog. So, if you would like to stay in the fog, you absolutely can. Yeah, but if you'd like for certain things in your life to be better, let's go. And let's do it. So first is simply the ownership of that choice. And then in terms of like brass tacks, I would encourage people I call them three arenas, to look at your work your career, who are you what's going on? Is there anything there that you'd like to be better? Then look at your relationships, look at your friendships, your family romantic? Is there anything there that you'd like to do better? Okay, look at your own personal life, you one of one living your heartbeats on this planet? What do you want this to be? Is there anything there that you'd like to be better, and then I imagine, unless you're just over the top perfect, that 10 out of 10, you don't miss. If you scan through all three of those arenas, I imagine you're going to find one thing, they're like, I'd like for this to be better. Now, then we can get on to step two, which is really how you get out of the thought, it starts with you deciding you want to step two, though, is make it real, which I think is very important. Because all these ideas are, they're just ideas, right? They're just thoughts, and they're going to get swept out, right, when you might have an idea in your head of something that you want in your relationships, let's say, and you're listening to me and Greg, and it's sounding good. But then this podcast is going to end you're going to look at your phone, you got 13 notifications, you got to fail, you got an email that's, and that idea is going to pop up. So my, what I encourage you to do is right when you and when you hop off this podcast, how can you make it real in your life today, right now? You're not going to lose 30 pounds today, you're not going to close 10 more deals, you're not going to have the most romantic fulfilling relationship tonight. But what could you do today? To start it so that it's starting to be in reality? Could you walk around the block for 15 minutes? Could you lay out some framework that might lead you to 10x sales? Could you do something thoughtful for your significant other What is something just a small step so that it's not in IDEA Aetherium land and it's in your life? That one if we want to talk about getting out of the fog, that is huge, because now it's real.

Greg Voisen
So that's two, what's three, three now,

Alex Weber
now that we did the small step of doing it, step three is dive in meaning now what's the biggest step that you can do? So I'll share my personal example, which was American Ninja Warrior. First, I had to decide, okay, I want to get good at this, which for me was to keep my job hosting for NBC. Part of my job is trying the obstacles. And in season two, season one, I was asked to fail, comedically crushed, it failed my face off. season due, I was asked to start getting good at this. And it was impossible for me. So with my dream job on the line, I had to become good at this impossible feat. So step one was deciding Alex, do you really want to do this? And once I did, Step two was reaching out. I called one of the American Ninja Warriors, and they said, Hey, can I come train with you?

Greg Voisen
The guy in Texas? Well, they're all over. This guy was in LA, but they're all okay. Okay. There's a guy in Texas that I thought was amazing. Anyway, okay. So. So you call them and you went in and got trained by him?

Alex Weber
Well, step two, step two is make it real. Step two was call them and text them and they were like, Yeah, okay, sure. Come train with us. Step three, was actually driving the our training from 9pm till midnight, and the American Ninja Warrior gyms, which are so bonkers, out of this world to walk into uncomfortable and to just do whatever they were doing. So they got up and did pull ups and flip over and swing onto this. I would go and barely do one pull up. And but it didn't matter. Because yes, it was humbling. Yes, it was embarrassing. I had to deal with judgments. It was frustrating. But in doing this, we talked about this fog, there was no more fog. I'm like, that is one of the best American Ninja Warriors in the world. And this is what he's doing. That is what she's doing. And I'm with them. So even though I can only do 1/10 of what they're doing, I'm in it. And if I keep showing up soon, it will be two tenths sooner it'll be three tenths if I keep going. And that's so important. I learned the same lesson in stand up comedy. That was a dream of mine that I always had. And I was like, No, you know, it's, it's too intense. It's too scary. Until finally I was like, I have to do this. I know that I want to do this. And I would just show up to comedy clubs. I would just show up to shows, meet comedians go to open mics. It was uncomfortable, embarrassing, but it led eventually to being a stand up comedian performing all over the world. So there is no secret formula. Read see you.

Greg Voisen
You know, I just say you were closing the gap on that cognitive dissonance. Because when it's so far away, Yet it gets closer attempt at a time 10% 10% 10% 10%. Ultimately, you are the American boy, Ninja Warrior, right, during be on the show, do your thing. And I think that's really important. And you call this you call the failproof fundamentals. And you state that all you need to do right now is choose to believe that all of this is possible for you. Because it is because it is. Okay. You know, that's encouraging. How would you advise the listeners to become more aware of that? The impossibilities can become possibilities? Yeah. You know, because they're, it's like, um, are we watering the weeds in the garden? Or are we pulling the weeds and watering the flowers in our garden? You know, because a lot of people the weeds to me are the impossibilities. The flowers are the possibilities.

Alex Weber
Yeah. And what you said also, you know, when I use that language intentionally choose to believe that choice will always be yours. And this is something when I speak to companies and athletes or universities, I always tell them that it does not matter what the world is doing. It doesn't matter what your colleagues doing, it does not matter what anything else is happening, you will always have the choice to believe in yourself and keep going or not. No one can ever touch that choice. And it's so powerful. Because if we do choose to believe in ourselves and keep going. Now, when I say anything is possible, sometimes it feels I roll like Hallmark and people like EA Okay, cool. So if I wanted to be the NBA in the NBA, and that's not what I'm saying at all. What I am saying is that for some reason, you know, and I don't want to go on a hyper example, sports again, that if for some reason, you're like, I want to be become the best basketball player I can be. Well, then you will maybe it's you dunking at the Rec gym, you build up to that you're not going to be in the NBA. But anything is possible. Also, if we're open for how it looks in our lives. For instance, I wanted to be a stand up comedian. I'll use that example. Again, part of the journey with some of my skill sets was I ended up being a partner, one of the founding partners in a company called Don't tell comedy, where we put on secret comedy shows it started in LA, people liked it. So we did in San Francisco. Fast forward, we're in 40 cities, we've gone to London and done shows. So part of how I got to be a stand up comedian performing all over the world was I had to found a comedy company. That wasn't how I drew it out on the whiteboard. But it didn't get me to the goal. So I think that's really important is to be open on the how

Greg Voisen
it is. And you know you had a you call them poach coach Paul. Yeah. My sense is is that you the way you spoke. Tell us what poach coach. Sorry, tell him what coach Paul did for you.

Alex Weber
Oh, it's a special and I'm going to shoot him a text after this. So yes, Paul cartera. Yeah,

Greg Voisen
cuz he didn't just quite kick your butt. Oh, no. I mean, he definitely did. I know he did.

Alex Weber
I grew up with. I just had no confidence. You know, I think back to those years of middle school, and I just hated those. I hate them. I used to eat lunch alone in the math room. Because I was getting bullied and punched around by I hated those years. And lacrosse was just something that I did. And I was athletic. So I had potential in it. But Paul carretera came down, he was the leader, he was the coach of the high school varsity came down to a middle school practice. And at the end of it, he pulled me aside. And he just said, I think you could be really good at this. If you go after this. I think this could be something really special in your life. And why I tell people that is because it was a 17 second conversation. He could have not done it. Right. Something could happen. And we could have pulled me aside. That 17 second conversation, absolutely changed my life. absolutely changed my life. Because then I was like, Oh, wow. Okay, now I have an outlet. Now I have a purpose. Now I have something to give myself to. So I became obsessed with it. And through that it unlocked all these chapters of life. Now, you say kick I but I think this is also important to know, he was very, he would challenge me often. And whether that you know all the different methods that a coach can challenge a player. It's not always warm and fuzzy. But where his heart was, is that I knew he loved me and he wanted the best for me. So no matter what he said, at the drop of a hat, he was Go Go Go run 100 sprints, you got it, because I know that where he's coming from is in my best interest. And I just can't say that strongly enough. If you're a leader at a company if you're a leader in a family of friendship, make sure that the people that you are leading They know that you really have their best interest at heart. And here's the thing. You got to mean it. You can't fold that one in. What do you do and they know it. That's

Greg Voisen
wrong, can't can't be fake. It's got to be authentic. And you have one question that changed our life. And it's the most important question that can you can ever ask yourself, What's the question you want to tell our listeners? They should be asking? Greg, I love it, man.

Alex Weber
You're on it, you know, you know the book better than I do. The big question is, and this question changed my life. And I asked it often is what do you want for your moments on Earth? And I don't know if there is a more honest, exciting and scary question and fortunate that you can ask yourself

Greg Voisen
that is it again, repeated again?

Alex Weber
What are the what? Yeah, what do you want for your moments on Earth?

Greg Voisen
Moment? You know, that's a Dalai Lama question. Somebody asked him that guy that was on here last before you podcast 899, Kevin Cohen. He said, he got to meet the Dalai Lama at his place of residence in the hills and in India. And got his friend asked him this question. He said, what what is the most important thing in your life? What's been the most important thing? And the Dalai Lama didn't have a pat answer? He said, He paused. And the guy in the interview goes 1000 1000 to 1003. I was like, is he going to answer? And he says, I have the answer. After about seven seconds. Any he said, The most important thing that I believe, is compassion. And, you know, Dalai Lama is all about compassion and love. And I go back to this, and I say, you know, like, if you look at all the people that crossing your life, if you treat them with respect, compassion, love, in turn, you're going to receive that in your life. And so you know, that whole kind of circle of reciprocity, you know, in in The Lion King, the movie, The Lion King, right. You know, every chapter this big, this book ends with failed proof keys. If you have to leave our listeners with three most important fail proof keys that they can apply to have a fail proof life is a bit as a bit of a contradiction, because you're not going to have failproof life, I just want to let all my listeners know, it isn't always going to be success. But Alex is trying to give you the keys. So that would be more successful and less failures. What would they be?

Alex Weber
Yeah, 100%. And, you know, I would use the analogy just on the failed proof of bulletproof. Bulletproof doesn't mean that heaven forbid, you're not going to get hit. What it means is that you're going to be fine and keep going. Okay, so that is what fail proof life means to me, if anything, you're gonna fail, you're gonna fail your face off. repeatedly. I do too small, big ways. But the key is, they don't stop you.

Greg Voisen
So what are three proof keys? Yeah. So

Alex Weber
the first one, and this goes into the steps to the first one I'll say is, because

Greg Voisen
actually, you know what? I'm sorry. I apologize. We only got through three of your steps. Yeah. Three more. So can you at least list the three before we get this question?

Alex Weber
And they go hand in hand. So okay, for this is one of the keys that I was gonna say is to handle your emotions. So basically, what happens is in first step is we set goals that actually matter. We got to get through that fog and think of okay, this is what I'd like to have happen in my career, my relationships in my life. Step two is make it real, get it out of IDEA land and get it into this world. Step three, is dive in the deep end now that it's in this world. What's the biggest action that you can take to make this really happen and get in the deep end? What's cool is, in doing that, you're going to naturally get to step four, because you're gonna hit tough moments fails, setbacks, and your emotions are gonna rise. Some people are pretty stoic, and I'm not. I'm emotional. I come from a dad who's very emotional and intense. So if you're anything like me, and you get frustrated, you get upset or you get embarrassed, or you get quietly disengaged. That is where you really got to be mindful that step four and understand that it is a wave, feel the wave, but before you do anything rash, like quit or lash out at someone or break something, or braid yourself. Just feel that emotion handle it and then move forward. Because step five is alright, you got to step back. You got an argument you missed it. Deal, you missed a turn, whatever it is, because those are all fails. What is one thing that you can learn from that experience? Step five is what I call the golden nugget. So you did this, you went out and you did this? What is one thing that you've learned just one? Is it that you need to be better prepared, have more confidence better communicate, no more about the person you're meeting with? What is it? And then step six, is to fully commit, again, with full effort and belief. And here is what's really exciting is that once we've been once we're now on a track of our goal, steps four, five and six, you can hyperdrive right, all that's going to happen is you're going to keep going after you're going to hit a setback, okay? Emotions, learn something, keep going after it. And if we you can rinse and repeat that. And if you do stick to that system, you will get to your goal.

Greg Voisen
I was just gonna say those steps are rinse and repeat. Yes, yeah. First three steps get you through the next keeps you focused on where you've got to go. Just recipe, right. Anyway, Alex, the book is failproof Alex Weber, we've been on inside personal growth, talking about how to help you become unstoppable. Learn from a gentleman who's had plenty of failures in his life, and looked at those failures in a different way. It's really about your perspective. And I think that once you shift your perspective, I know it's this, you know, in a course called landmark forum that used to be called asked, when I took it, it was called asked, and I remind people, that you're responsible for your own actions. And one of the things that Alex said during this interview, was taking responsibility. And if there's any one thing that you're going to have to do, to become failproof and become unstoppable, is take responsibility. Don't go blaming people outside. No one isn't. No One Out side of you is responsible for your happiness other than you. And you know, when you learn that, I mean, when you really learn that, yeah, okay. You have no one else to blame. Okay? No one else is to blame for your failure if you went bankrupt, and I know I went bankrupt once. But that's all you have to do is do that once. And I will tell you that you learn from those failures, as painful as they can be whether you didn't win the gold or the silver or the bronze, or whatever. But you get up again, that's the unstoppable part. And you keep going. Okay, so go get this book. It's going to be on Amazon. Alex, thanks for sharing your stories and being on the podcast with me. An enjoyable time. I really enjoyed it. I'll make sure that I get you link out to bow Parfitt in Boulder can connect.

Alex Weber
I appreciate Greg, thank you so much, Brother, you're the man and just thank you. This has been a really fun time.

Greg Voisen
It's likewise into you. Enjoy your holiday season. And we'll talk again soon