Greg Voisen
Well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth, and we've had Richard Flint, who's on the other end of the camera there on our show before for podcast number 1067. We're now at 1150 so that was a few podcasts ago. Richard, how are you doing today?

Richard Flint
Let me tell you something. Greg, I am alive and well, healthy and happy and fit.

Greg Voisen
That is the best you can ask for, and blessings to you. And it's a guy give gratitude that you're on the show to talk about a book that you've actually had out for some time, but we figured, hey, the world's dealing with more and more stress. So let's talk about it. Let's dialog about it. "The Truth about Stress: Understanding Your Life from the Inside Out." I'm going to let people know a little bit about your website. You want to learn more about Richard, go to www. richardflint.com r-i-c-h-a-r-d-f-l-i-n-t. You can learn about Richard and his seminars. So he's been on the show before. As I said, we'll put a link to podcast recording. It was regarding two books he had, but it was that podcast number 1067, he's a man on a mission to approve your life. His message are designed to help you understand how you can change your behavior to live a happier, healthier and more peaceful life. And that is one of the secrets to stress. Is how you change your behavior. A lot of it is how you react to it. He has coached and counseled 1000s of people with stressful lives and helped them learn how to achieve calmness. Richard travels the world, speaking about his area of expertise, knowledge and behavior, working together for personal success again. Www, richardflint.com, Well, Richard, without further ado, let's get into this. Because I think my listeners would love to know what your perspective is, because there's been a multitude of books written on stress, stress management, how to get rid of it, how to do it. Your book “The Truth about Stress” tackles this persuasive, pervasive issue of stress in our lives. What inspired you to focus on the topic and how does your approach to understanding stress differ from the conventional perspective that we see?

Richard Flint
You know Greg, this this book was the result of some situations in my life that happened. I have three sisters. My sister that is, was just young, just older than I am. Her name was Rita. She died of a heart attack. And when I sat and talked to the doctor. I asked, asked him, what happened? He said, Richard. He said, I've been telling Rita she needed to do something about the stress in her life, and if she didn't, that stress could kill her. Well, it did, and she and I had talked so much about the stress in her life, and she just felt, well, it's just a part of life. Then a week later, one of my mentoring students died of a heart attack, and her husband told me we couldn't get her to slow down. There was just too much stress in her life, and she felt she had to do everything, and the stress caught up with her. You know, what a lot of people don't understand is that stress is a part of life. It'll be a part of your life from the day you born to the day you die. But when people don't come to the realization about it, stress is a silent killer, and it either controls you or you control it. And as we were talking a couple of minutes ago, I've never seen stress in people's lives at the level that it is today. And it seems like people, ever since covid, people's life has has sped up, and there just seem to be out of sync with their self, and every time that happens, stress is going to become a silent killer in their life. And you know, this is why I wrote the book, the books now, and it's six printing, and it's just something that we. We have to wake people up to you will always have stress, and the secret is not to eliminate stress, because there's no way to eliminate stress, but you can control it. Yeah, I wrote the book.

Greg Voisen
Well, in those two stories are fantastic way for us to start off this interview, because if it doesn't kill you physically, it will deal with your mental psyche, and it will deal with depression. It will create depression, right? And then, who knows, maybe you've died from that as well. But the point is, yes, you cited two examples of people who died from stress as a result of a heart attack, and you always wonder, then, so what's going on with them with relation to their love and their life love for self? Because usually a lot of people who have a lot of stress, they're always going because nothing is ever right. You know, it's like the ego's always constantly talking to them. Now, you mentioned that stress is often misunderstood. What do you believe are the common misconceptions about stress, and how do these misconceptions impact people's lives at home and at work. Well,

Richard Flint
Greg, an hour and a half ago, I was on a conversation with a young lady, and we were talking about her life, and she told me, she said, Richard, my life is out of control. She says, I'm not resting. I'm constantly fatigued. And I told her, I said, You've got to get your life under control. People just have this attitude that, you know, stress is just going to be stress, and you're going to have it in your life and just deal with it. But yet, most people don't deal with it. And you know, I've always found this interesting, Greg, that I think, I think our innerness is smarter than we are, because our mind, our emotions and our physicalness, support is there to protect us. I mean, I don't know about you, but I've been here. You ever had a day that you were so emotionally tired that you had a headache, or a day that your mind was just so overwhelmed emotionally you had no energy, and you didn't listen to either one of those. So you get up one morning and you have a cold, you hadn't been sick, you hadn't been feeling bad. But I think our innerness works to protect us. And I tell people every day of my life, listen to your life. Your life is smarter than you are. Man, yeah, you can, you can learn what stress really is.

Greg Voisen
Well, I believe that a lot of the physical manifestations from stress appear in the body, as you just said, a cold, flu, all kinds of things. I know right now I'm dealing with a meniscus issue in my knee, and you have to say to yourself, well, did that manifest itself? I mean, a lot of people might think I'm totally crazy, but did that actually manifest as a result of stress, and then somebody will say, well, what's holding you back? Because it's a knee or you have a pain in your side. And they'll say, well, who is the pain in your side? Who's the pain in your neck? Right when you have a pain in your neck? And so when you actually start asking that question, Who or what is actually helping to manifest those physically in your body than you see. So in the book, you discuss the idea of stress is not necessarily a bad thing, and I think there are good stressors and there are bad stressors. Can you explain how stress can be harnessed for positive force and what conditions are necessary for this to happen, to just say, okay, you know, we get a block. But one of the things about stress is we can move through these I always say you move through uncertainty into opportunity, but you have to be willing to face the fear, because a lot of the stress is a result of worry and fear that are really unresolved, worry and feel but unnecessary worry and fear. Comment,

Richard Flint
yeah, well, this is something that I try again to help people to understand, to listen to that positive stress is the result of the belief, the trust and the faith that you have in yourself. I believe in me. I trust that I'm doing my life when I'm supposed to be doing and I have the faith that I seem go forward now it doesn't mean I. Going to experience stress, but this form of stress is something that doesn't wear on me. It just shows me how to slow down and how to live. But the bad stress is whenever, all the time we're dealing with doubt, and you use the word worry and uncertainty and doubt, worry and uncertainty come together. What they do is they punish you with the tension, with the pressure, with the stress that they bring to your life. And what I see happening today, Greg, is that more people are living from the outside in than they are the inside out. I think what we're doing is we're allowing the outside world to come at us, at such a force that is just heightening our doubt, our worry on uncertainty. I talk to people all the time, and they talk to me about the uncertainty in their life and what it's doing to their life. And when doubt, worry and uncertainty control you, it brings its whole army of other emotions with

Greg Voisen
you. Yeah, so now just something like one of the things that you we want to get to is managing it. Okay, so you outline several strategies for managing stress in the book. It's one thing to have the stress. It's another to management. What strategies do you find that could be most effective for the listeners, and how can individuals begin to implement those into their daily lives, right? So it's hey, look, do I do meditation? Do I do yoga? Am I mindful? Do I take a walk in the woods? Do I take a hot bath? Do I go to the sauna? Do I whatever these things are, solids? Do I pray, whatever? Meditate, pray. What are some of the things you think could help people apply that when they're dealing with the stress?

Richard Flint
Number one, for me, is slow the pace of your life down. Okay? What I'm seeing today is that people are so busy being busy, being busy, but not knowing what they're busy about, the faster the pace of their life, the more they're living from their emotions up. And when you're living from your emotions up, you're freeing stress to bring that doubt, that worry, that uncertainty into your life, right? And another thing is, I think you have to really know what you want for your life. And I'm finding again, since covid, so many people have just lost the passion in their life. They've lost the direction of their life. So every day where they used to give get up and they have this feeling of purpose, today they get up and it's like they're wandering. Gentleman yesterday he told me, he said, Richard, he said I used to be one of these people that had a purpose for every day of their life. He says, I get up today and my world is different, and I don't really understand this world. And he said, it's just wearing me out.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, there's a sense that, and I get this too, because I speak with not only a lot of authors, but a lot of clients, your perspective and viewpoint on the world and stress is a key. The second thing is, it seems as I think it's a perception, again, that it's almost like, I'm going to use this term. You've heard it. Many of my guests have heard it like suspended animation. It's like there's no traction. I don't know where I'm going. It seems like an animated world I'm caught in this just you remember the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy got caught up into the whirlwind and then ended up over in Oz land? You know, it's like people are in the whirlwind waiting to land in Oz land and then get the chance to create a new life. Right? So, how can people this book kind of touches on the importance of self awareness in managing stress, and this is what I'm pointing to, perception self awareness. What are some of the practical steps people can take to increase self awareness of what they're doing to themselves, to actually reduce the stress and to be able to live with it positively. Because I think there's two things look because it, it, you have a little chart in the book, right, and it, I'm going to go to it for people, because you actually put it in in many places. She called it event. Event, belief choice. Okay, event, belief choice. Here's the event, here's the belief. And you talk about expectations, and you talk about the self direction or destruction, and that's kind of the that can be the final step, as you can self destruct. But for all my listeners, here it is, the little chart, and it's valuable speak with us about it. Richard,

Richard Flint
well, every day of our life we're handed different events, experiences in our day, at every event you're handed, you create a direction from that, and I'm either going to look at that from my emotions up or my mind down, and the direction that I choose really creates the choice that I make. And everything in life that you do with your life is a choice. One of the things I'm going to understand more and more, every choice that you and I make and your listeners make has a direct pathway back to some experience or invent in our yesterday, and how I view that creates what I feel about that. And I'm going to look at that, and I'm even what I'm either going to go to my yesterday file cabinets that are filled with all my disappointments, frustrations, negative events in my life. I'm going to go to my positive file cabinet that is filled with all my successes, and I'm going to take something from that file cabinet, one of them that's going to direct my choice, and then that choice creates a path that I go forward.

Greg Voisen
Well, the thing is, is, you know, you're alluding to something that I was taught a long time ago. Question is, for people, does it stay? Do you believe your life is an accident, or do you believe it's on purpose? Now, I think when you're on purpose and you have a purpose in life, one of the best things you can do to get out of any stressful situation, Richard is to give of yourself and to have gratitude, right? So when I say, Give of yourself, I'm saying, Well, do you have a cause you'd like to give to? Like, I have a charity I founded for the homeless and Ukrainian refugees. That's what I do, is I help support those people. I get a good feeling from that, not a bad feeling. Now, you ask your listeners, my listeners out there today, what else are they focused on besides the negativity? Why don't you focus on something positive, right, like giving yourself and giving gratitude? Hey, I woke up this morning. I'm breathing. I have my eyesight. I can walk. I have all these things available. I have food, I have a car. Once you start looking at that and you see a lot of the other world, you should be really grateful and less stressful. Would you agree that taking this perspective would actually help people change their self awareness and reduce their stress?

Richard Flint
Yeah, because what you're doing is you're not searching from the outside world everything that's attacking. You're looking at your life from the inside out. You're seeing yourself as a person of gifts, a person of talents. And I'm with you. I think that light is purpose, but I also believe that all behavior has an agenda. And many times what I say my agenda is to you, is not my real agenda, because there's always an agenda behind the agenda, and that agenda behind the agenda is where a lot of the stress comes from. And see if you agree with this. I don't think you do anything in your life without giving yourself permission to do it,

Greg Voisen
of course.

Richard Flint
But how many people do you know that deny that this is not my fault, and every time you have an excuse, you increase the negative stress. Every time you don't deal with yourself honestly, you hype into negative stress. I

Greg Voisen
learned one of the fun one of the fundamental beliefs in one. Call it a belief. It should be a truth that we're 100% responsible for ourselves, no one else, nobody, outside of ourselves. Richard, as you know, you know this so well you've been through so many life experiences. Is responsible for our happiness, is responsible for where we are in life. We are responsible for that when you understand that simple 101, philosophy. Feet, you really can deal with stress a little better now. You might not like how things are going, because, as you said, you had an unmet expectation. You thought you'd be in a different place. Now, and you're not in that place, so you're literally depressed or stressed by the fact that you're not in that place. Life doesn't always move at the pace in which you think it's going to move or reach your goal. That's one of the things I truly know, right? So in this fast paced world, which you've mentioned just five minutes ago, yeah, you've talked to two clients that are just feeling totally overwhelmed. Don't know what to do, the demands of the work demands a life. Here's the question, Richard, how can individuals strike a balance between productivity and maintaining their mental and emotional well being? Because the faster we go, the more behind we get. Yay. It's like we're chasing our behind it. What would you basically tell people today to slow down? Because you just said it a few minutes, slow down. Slow down. The speed of your life. We even see people that are moving to islands with 50 people on them because they want to get away from, you know, the hustle and bustle of the city and so on. You can create that Nirvana right where you are. If you choose to, you don't have to run from this. You don't have to run from where you are right now. You need to change your mental perspective about where you are right now, right, correct. So what would you tell those people to get this balance, Richard, that they're looking for.

Richard Flint
Well, first thing I would tell them, Greg is stop trying to balance your life. You can't balance your life. And balance, to me, is trying to put everything into one box and make it fit. And rather than have balance, what you need to do is find harmony. And harmony is finding an agenda that connects what I think are the four rooms of your life, your business room, your family room, your social room and your Personal Room, and find a purpose that connects all four of those rooms. I learned in doing counseling that if my rooms are out of sync, the stress in my life becomes overwhelming, and life is not one size fits all. It's learning about the different segments of our life. And how do I put my family room in tune with my business room, my business my number one room of mental stress, my family room is my number one room of emotional stress. How do I keep those from being in conflict? And then, how do I find time for myself? I hear this all the time. I wish I could, I wish I could find time for me. Man, I used to love to play tennis. Used to love to work out. You still love to play golf. I just don't have time for it anymore. So what happens when you you shut down your social room? You have an a space in your life where you need the right people to be around, and they can help you by joy, happiness. They can bring a sense of fulfillment. But the most important room that people don't have to date is there personal where you go by yourself? You and I were talking before we came on air about the noise, and there's too much noise in life today, and noise comes at us in every direction. We need some place where we can go by ourself and be alone with ourself. Most people are fearful of that, because most people want honesty, as long as it's not honest, and all by yourself, you can't lie to yourself, but it's behind the harmony in your life, not balance. Balance increases stress.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think you know, people have talked about radical honesty, and these kind of things you know about being honest and truthful with yourself and with others. And as they said, there was one woman, Martha. What's her last name, Beck. She's like a huge coach. She speaks about not having been honest to herself and not having been on me buddy, and her whole life changed when she became honest. And I think when you start telling the truth. Because if you look at your life during the day, in many course, courses, we tell ourselves lies to get through the day. Okay, we we are definitely telling ourselves lies. In many cases, I like this, but no, I. Don't really do, but I told you I liked it, you know, I just just get get it out of the way. So, you know, you in your seminars, you're encountering individuals from all kinds of backgrounds that come to your some seminars or workshops, and they're dealing with all different types of stress. Are there any universal Stress management techniques that you would recommend to anyone or everyone, regardless of their specific circumstances?

Richard Flint
Greg, there are four Ps that I think if we practice, it really helps us control our stress. The first thing we already mentioned, and that's pace. Are you managing your life? Or is your life managing you? And if your life is not at the right pace, then what you're doing is is, is allowing the outside life to control the inside you. The second one is a tough word for a lot of people, patience in our fast paced world and the fact that we want everything now we don't practice patience. And if I don't have patience, my pace is out of control. If my pace is out of control, then I don't have the patience that I need. And then the third P is preparing yourself I get I get up every day, and I give myself a purpose for that day, and that purpose settles me down. It gives me a sense of calmness and clarity and and then the fourth P is, I got to be persistent. I can't live on a roller coaster. One day I'm up, one day I'm down. One day I'm I'm as happy as can be. The next day I'm in the dungeon. And it every life is so different. And you can't just fit one technique into people's lives. You gotta know the person. But beyond the person, you gotta know the personality.

Greg Voisen
Well, those four P's, and if you would repeat them for our listeners, because they are important, and it was pace, right? Well, first patients, pace, prepare. Preparedness, nope. And purpose, preparedness, yeah, and then persistency

Greg Voisen
and persistence. You did mention something about purpose in there, though, too. So you said you started your day with a purpose, yeah, which helped you the rest of the day? Or intention, intention or purpose. Okay, so look this book for all of my listeners, the truth about stress understanding your life from the inside out. It's a real quick read. It's very fast read. It's got all kinds of guides in it. It's like he's got guidelines that you can use for stress management. There are quizzes with a stress from Personality Questionnaire. Again, I highly recommend that you take that and get this little book like you said, it's on its fourth printing or third printing, third or fourth,

Richard Flint
it's on sixth.

Greg Voisen
So we'll have a link to it on Amazon. So finally, Richard, if there was one key takeaway from our little chat today that you hope leaders would gain from the truth about stress your book, what would it be and how can they start applying it from the minute they hang up from listening to this podcast on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, wherever it is.

Richard Flint
That tip would be this, remember, stress is real, and if you don't deal with it, it's a silent killer. So every day you gotta practice pace, patience. You gotta practice preparedness, you gotta practice persistency. And when you put all of those together, it gives you a way to manage the stress in your life. Please don't ever forget this. You cannot eliminate stress. If you could, you'd be dead in minutes, but you can learn to control it. And my book, The Truth about stress, is all about realizing stress is real. You can management you can manage it, because if you don't manage it, it's going to manage you.

Greg Voisen
I love it. Is a great message. I hear what you said to many, many years ago, I had a workshop called the wayfinding journey. Was about finding purpose, and I coined a term called productive harmony, and I haven't heard it used much since, but you did. Mentioned about harmony, and I think the key is, of those four P's, that's what's going to help you create harmony in your life. That's what's going to you said, Hey, you can't balance, but you said, you can harmonize. I'll go I'll go with that. I'll go with that. The 4p create harmony, thus then creating balance. So, so that's the way I'll broach it. I'll look at it as a seat sequence down there. Okay, tremendous. Thank you for being on inside personal growth and sharing. Sorry. Your thoughts. Blessings to you, Richard and your team there at Richard Flint seminars. Go to www Richard Flint, f-l-i-n-t.com. There, you can learn more about Richard.