Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining me, you're in North Carolina, right?

Lloyd Reeb
I am.

Greg Voisen
..is Lloyd Reeb and Lloyd has a book out, which has been out for some time, but I wanted to let my listeners know that Bo Parfitt, my co-author recommended Lloyd. And Lloyd is an exceptional coach. And it's from success to significance. And when the pursuit of success isn't enough, Lloyd, thanks for being on the show.

Lloyd Reeb
You're so welcome. Good to be with you, Greg.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's nice to have you and I'm going to let my listeners know a little bit about you is a successful real estate developer who made a halftime transition and I'll say halftime because literally, Bob Buford wrote the book halftime and Lloyd is gives much of his time to the halftime Institute. So a 9090 theme by redefining his success and reward orienting his focus toward the second half significance. Lloyd is the primary spokesperson for the halftime movement, helping successful people pursue significance. For more than 15 years, he's dedicated most of his time to speaking about halftime issues. Leading helping people lead from success to significant workshops, and midlife transition. He's a regular conference speaker. He lives in Charlotte, North Carolina with his wife, Linda, and three adult children. And I want to mention, we're going to make available some books from halftime that people will be able to get from our side, one called Finally Connected. Halftime for couples, so people can see these, there's three of them. And one of them, he actually co-authored with his wife, Linda, so I want to give her credit for that as well. Lloyd. But I would like to kind of start this podcast off with, you know, in the introduction of the book, you, you speak about navigating your own half time, and you spoke about it in your bio as well. And making different choices, and not leaving things to chance. If you would let the listeners know a little more about your encounter with Bob, the impact he made in your life, and how it really affected you spiritually, emotionally, physically, in every different way. Because this show is about personal growth. And that means all of those things. So I think that would be a good place to start this.

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah, you know, it struck me as I looked at leaders coming up in my 20s and early 30s, that there were a lot of people who just drifted through their midlife and woke up in their 50s or 60s Surprised at where they ended up and were disappointed. Many times they traded rich relationships just for more success and accomplishment. So often, I saw them trading health and wellness, for just simply more accomplishment, or more success or more material things. And I thought to myself, it doesn't look like drifting through life, just reacting to the career challenges and running kids to soccer and dance and then maybe going to church maybe not and just kind of watching some football and getting on another plane to go to another business meeting. It was going to take me where I wanted to go. And so I realized that I needed to be chief life officer not chief just chief executive officer. And they're very different things. And I decided I was going to go from making a living to making a life. And what you need is a Sherpa if you're going to try to get up Mount Everest, and you've never been up there before you need somebody that can take you up that's been there before that. This is not their first rodeo. And so in 1993 I stopped, looked up from my desk and asked is there more to life than just growing my real estate business and we were my partner Andrew and I were building retirement communities and and I love that business. I love taking care of people's grandmas and grandpas, right. I mean, Greg, there's nothing more special really than looking in a seniors eyes and knowing that you've created a safe place for their thriving in the latter years of their life. But I realized I really wanted more to life than that. And so I started exploring what I could do, how could a successful real estate developer make a contribution? I started mentoring prisoners and things like that. Eventually somebody introduced made to a gentleman that had been super successful in cable TV business, and had decided that success was not enough. And he wrote the book halftime and the subtitle was moving from success to significance. So

Greg Voisen
you find the five star Lloyd, though, you know, I always ask this question. I'm sure they always ask this question but ask this question, because I think it's on the minds of the listeners. People have a desire to do it. Yet they're caught in the every day, things that they think they've been programmed have to be done, like making money for the kids education and paying the mortgage payments and doing the things that they have to do, that they don't see where they could actually even pull a slice of time away. Because really, our most precious commodity is time. Let's face it right now that my listeners are listening to two older gentlemen speak about something that we have some wisdom around. And if you were to give them some wisdom about that, because I think people get caught into the trappings this society has been designed to make that happen. And those trappings cost meaning when I say cost, they can cost you your life. Because like you said, you can have ill health, but they also can cost you a lot of your time. What advice would you give somebody that's listening right now going? Okay, guys, this is great. I want to go to significance, but I don't know how to get there.

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah, yeah, you know, you, if you really distill it down, you get clear, you get free and you get going. And in, in even more granularity, you get a little bit clearer, a little bit free and a little bit going. And then you gain more clarity. So the clarity that you're looking for is what do I really value? What do I want at the end of the day? The way that you and I can frame it up, Greg is, I'm 61. And let's just say that you and I bumped into each other 30 years from now. And we're sitting on a park bench in Laguna Beach near you and overlooking the ocean. And I say to you, gosh, Greg 30 Years went so fast, how did it go for you? And suppose you look off in the distance, and you give it some thought, and then you look me in the eye and you say, you're not going to believe it, Lloyd, those 30 Years went perfectly? Well, would you have to scroll through in the back of your mind to draw that conclusion. Those are those big commitments. Those are the loyalties of your life, that those are what I would call long term metrics, and you write them down, I have six of those things. Once you're clear on what you want long term, then a lot of other things are not as important, simply not as critical. And you can start cutting low value things out. So that's why I say get clear, and then get free by ruthlessly eliminating low value things in your life. So often, we default to what our culture says is important. Right? This is particularly difficult for young moms, because they're comparing themselves with every other young mom, but their mothers are many styles, some moms are really super organized. And some moms are super creative. And you know, but because of social media, they're comparing themselves with every other mom. And you got to have everything just right, and you end up running yourself ragged, and not knowing what is the most important thing for you in your life. And as a result, many people in a younger generation end up with panic and anxiety and stressed out, I spend a lot of time with young emerging leader men in their 20s and 30s. And I find that they haven't gotten clear on what they want long term, I do an event once in a while at Deloitte University, which is just outside Dallas. And these are young partners just getting started in a really successful career in, you know, a major accounting firm. And I asked them, you're a consultant, would you ever help a client build a strategy that didn't have clear long term metrics? And they tell me no, they tell me all the reasons why not. And then what they don't realize this, I'm setting the hook deep in their mouth and yank on. And I say to them, now, I want you to just take a few minutes and write down what are the long term metrics for your life and then we're all going to share them. And panic goes through their eyes because they don't have long term metrics for their life by and large. So the place to start in order to get out of the insanity of our of the busyness of our culture, is to write down the five or six or seven primary loyalties longterm metrics of your life. The second thing is to get clear on your purpose. If you don't know your purpose, then you just have like a career, maybe you just have your sloppy busy, you're busy with stuff, but it's not necessarily on point. So write a mission state,

Greg Voisen
I think those are great, great bits of advice. I would also say, when somebody has a perspective, you know, when you have a life threatening disease or illness, you seem to get very clear about many of those things that you want to create in life. And whether it's cancer, or heart disease, or whatever it might be. Unfortunately, it doesn't have to be that right? Because this whole concept of, hey, you say, eternal life? Well, yes, we are going to die in this physical form. And I think if you say, hey, well, I'm gonna, I know in the Buddhist traditions, they focus on that, it's like, Okay, I'm gonna get to watch Minnesota at every hour. And I know, one hour closer to death, right. And I think it's what's really important, Lloyd is for people to really understand that perspective. And most people in their 20s, and 30s, and 40s, and even 50s. They don't give a lot of contemplation to that element of their life. And you know, in your book, the two minute warning, you have this chapter, the two minute warning, a life defining moment, you spoke about your missionary trip to Albania and returning home just before the grand opening of this retirement community. And I remember you writing kind of eloquently about this design and the build of this, you know, this building, but there was this aha moment for you. And you speak about these contrasting events. And you call them I hope, I'm going to pronounce this right, heroes moment, and you tell a story about your trip? Or can you tell the story about your trip to Albania, and how these two events changed the course of your life, because this to me seemed to be you called it a life defining moment. It certainly seemed in the book, for my listeners, to be your life defining moment. And it was this contrast between the life in Albania and the life you had here at home as a developer making retirement arms, and something clicked for you, what was that?

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah, so the two minute warning in football is, you know, that comes before halftime is everybody knows, okay, you've just got a certain amount of time, and then you're gonna go into the locker room, and you're gonna rethink your strategy, in that, that buzzer rings, and everybody stops and you know, you, you know, it's, it's it, it's an awareness. And that kairos moment was an awareness. And in the old language, Kairos means a right time or a season. Or it was for those coming from a faith perspective, a season when God interrupts your life. That's a kairos moment. And this was a kairos moment for me, because communism was falling in Eastern Europe, many of those countries were struggling. And in Albania, the farmers were starving to death. What happened was, they were always told what to grow the government, the communist government took the crop from gave them a small stipend to live on. And then all of a sudden communism fell on the market driven. Farming was emerging, but they'd never been trained to think like farmers in America. And so as a result, they grew products like watermelon that they had to transport and they didn't have a supply chain. And then they got to the Greek border, where people could afford to buy watermelons. And when they all showed up at the same time, with the same product prices dropped, they didn't understand supply and demand. And that winner in 1992, in 1993, the government realized their farmers were not equipped for market driven farming. So I had the privilege of taking 100 American farmers to Albania, and help them think in their primary agricultural communities, how to help them think like capitalists how to help them think like business people. And, and I saw the huge impact we had in their lives, you know, that for 73 years, they had been taught, in fact, it was in their constitution. God does not exist. That was in their constitution. And yet in their heart of hearts, many of them thought, There's got to be a creator. I mean, look at this world, look at this baby that's just been born. And there was a longing to be able to explore faith as well. And so these farmers had an opportunity to explore faith questions with them in a winsome way. And I was overwhelmed that the impact we were making in families lives, families that still churned their butter by hand families that still had wooden wheels on their wagons. It was It's like a time warp. And it was a kairos moment for me because it put my whole quest for wealth building in the context of pain and suffering in the world I'd never seen before. So then I came back and sat at a ribbon cutting ceremony with a bunch of other wealthy people moving into this beautiful building on the river. And I realized that this building is going to be torn down in 100 years, we're opening it today. But most buildings in America are torn down, and within 100 years, sometimes even 50 years. And I decided that kairos moment is I want to invest my life in something that's going to outlast me. And that was a turning point, because it became a primary metric of my life is to make a leveraged impact in a way that touches other people's lives permanently.

Greg Voisen
And that was in 93. And that's about when you met Bob.

Lloyd Reeb
No, that was, so that's 30 years ago, I met Bob 25 years ago. Okay.

Greg Voisen
So it's five years. So right around there, you know, but I think it's important for our listeners to kind of understand a little bit about your family life, too. And you wrote about it in the book, and you were very transparent about this. You were in a middle income family and suburban Philadelphia, your father used to wake up, you said at 605 in the morning, get on the train, or didn't wake up at 605. He was on the train at 605. And it didn't end he instilled this very strong work ethic. And I think as we look at our roots, you know, and I look at my roots, even I have very similar background and upbringing, it was about working hard, applying yourself, being smart, being diligent. And you mentioned that you knew what success look like for you. And you state that life. And you live, you wanted to live it to its fullest. You also stated that despite your success, your heart was never entirely satisfied with the pursuit of sex success. In other words, this contrast that you're talking about in the book. If for my listeners out there that are feeling the same advice, sit feeling the same way about life. You know, it's like they're pursuing success, but they're not feeling satisfied with success. What advice would you give them, the ones who've been programmed just like you, and I throw our parents to work hard, apply ourselves, make money, put it in the bank, get a retirement account, you know, build a real estate portfolio, whatever it might be. And they've spent very little time really, in the pursuit of making the world a better place through the gifts that they could give to other people who are in need.

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah, well, first of all, I would say, if you're feeling that smoldering discontent, that the pursuit of success isn't enough than welcome to The Club. That's, that's very common. And yet most people don't have the courage to talk about it. Because it's just not that sexy. It seems like we're playing down what everybody else is craving and what all the ads around us and social media is pushing us towards. And you know, it doesn't take very long to realize that just more stuff, bigger house, a faster car, you know, is not going to do it for you that pretty soon the joy of those things. They are okay, but they Wayne there's got to be something deeper, richer and more lasting than just simply more accumulating more stuff and growing your your net worth and your security. And so what do you do about that? Well, I think the first thing you do is it's more akin to archaeology than architecture. You look inside, and you ask yourself, what do you really care about what makes you mad, sad or glad? One way to get at it, is to get a global newspaper like New York Times or Wall Street Journal, read it for a week. And just ask yourself, what makes me mad? What makes me sad? What makes me glad? What makes tear out articles that really resonate with your heart? And you know, what, why is that? What am I passionate about? In terms of, let's say, human trafficking that pick a pick a city like Atlanta, they're 220 young women, young girls that are abused every night through human to sex trafficking in Atlanta based on the best assessment. You know, when when you visit Atlanta, you sleep in a very comfortable bed and the JW, Marriott or wherever. Meanwhile, there's 200 Little young girls being abused in that city that captures your heart. That's an avenue where you could start to make a difference. And in speaking about Laguna Beach, there's a lady that I've gotten to be to know Oh, and she came through halftime in Laguna Beach. And she loves biking. And she cares about sex trafficking, human trafficking. And she created something called the Freedom Ride up and down the Pacific Coast Highway to, to raise awareness and to engage people who are also passionate about biking and freeing young women from human trafficking. That brings as much joy to her as the work she was doing in her big consulting firm. But you don't necessarily have to quit your job or stop your, your earnings. It's about infusing your life with more meaning joy and purpose. One way to get at it is to think about how your time is allocated. Every one of us has 168 hours a week. So let's just run the numbers. Suppose that, Greg, you took 50, for sleep. And suppose that you take 50 for your business, you still have 68 hours you can allocate, right? If you pick five hours a week, or take four hours a week, and you invest in some kid downtown, that's never been outside the city never been to the ocean, never been to the mountains, never had someone tell him, they believe in them, you'll change that kid's life forever. So it's not about having to quit your job. Or it's about setting limits on things so that you have time to think and feel and understand yourself well, and then start to slowly deploy a little bit of your time in an area that you care deeply about.

Greg Voisen
Well, I know that my listeners are aware that this show supports compassionate communications Foundation, which is the foundation I started that helps the homeless. And I find just going out with gift cards on the street, recording people and find out how they get there, I get a uniquely different perspective, just like you did from Albania. I get that frequently, because I'm literally going out there and taking the money that's so kindly gifted by the authors to do that, and my own money that supports this show and keeps it going. Because I don't ask anybody for anything. And I think you can do these little things. They don't have to be gigantic things. You could spend two or three hours on a Saturday, which is what I do. And just walk the streets and find people and listen to their stories. And then in my case, I videotape the stories how'd you get out here. And a lot of times you find that it's just some bad luck. The rents got too high, they got kicked out onto the street. They had a major incident in their life. They're not all bad people. They're people who've had unfortunate circumstances. And I think if you have enough compassion, to actually make a difference for somebody else, without any expectation of what's going to be done. And I think that's the key here. It's like, what's your you did? And I think you even do this, you know, now you look at your development, yes, you make money from the seniors, but you love helping seniors. And, you know, I want to go back to this because this is a couples journey. This is a family journey. Okay. And this is the halftime for couples rate. And Linda helped you write this and Linda was concerned. At one point, we're going back now about your financial insecurities that would come along with being guided by choosing to pursue God's calling. And, and we have a spouse all of us that we have to work hand in hand with, what advice would you give someone who wants to make the shift, but might have some doubts, because of the financial consequences that can accompany that pursuit. That's one also, if you could speak about what you call the five areas of risk, the winds of doubt, the career risk, the influence opinion, being ordinary, I think these are important. And I think the fact that we're talking about a family unit here, because when, quote, the head of household, or maybe you weren't the head of household, but your wife had significant doubts. And I think it's important we address this, because yeah, listeners are gonna have to deal with this as well.

Lloyd Reeb
Ya know, it's in and you know, she raises good practical questions all the time. So, you know, as a real estate developer, I was used to risk and I felt like if I was going to create some margin in my life so that I could explore other things that I found were more were, were a good route. accomplishment, your company meant to accomplishment rather, that we're bringing more joy to my life that would give me more compassion. That yeah, it would reduce our income potentially, quite dramatically, but that we would be fine over the long term. And that if it didn't turn out that way, I can always go back and develop more projects. So that was just a pragmatic approach to Linda was thinking at the time, look, our kids are going to need braces, we've got college coming up, right. And, you know, she's just thinking from the perspective of financial security. So I would say a couple of things. Number one, once you get clear on what you really want in life, then it helps you prioritize where you spend your money. And all we basically did was just make sure that we were spending our money coming from my buildings in alignment with what we valued. And one of the things we valued was money with was freedom. So here's the question that you can start by asking yourself, and Linda and I asked ourself this question in one word, what does money mean to us? Now for some people, it means security. For some people, it means power, prestige, or lifestyle or fast cars, or, you know, great food for some people, it means travel. For, for Linda and I, we landed on freedom, the freedom to do the things we felt we were put on this planet to do, and find the most joy in doing it. And now this is 30 years later, we are 30 years into a 50 year experiment, to not only trust God to provide for us but to to live into this idea that it's better to give than to get that there's more joy and find the in meeting the needs of some, some poor child somewhere or some buddies struggling with mental wellness issues, or we've had the privilege of doing all kinds of things as a family around generosity. And it always proves to provide more joy. So I think the first thing is to decide for yourself in one or two words, what does money mean to us. And for goodness sakes, if money means to you just lifestyle, or you know, kind of great experiences, then you've made up your mind, you might find that those don't deliver in the long term, though. So for us, we landed on freedom as a result, we created a financial plan. And that's kind of the second point is create a financial plan that gives you the freedom. So for example, we cut out some spending that we didn't think was really high value, so that we could put the money into things that we thought were high value. For example, we want our kids to grow up to be global thinkers. In the family room, we've got 28 feet of floor ceiling books, bookcases, they each had a five foot by nine foot section of that five foot wide, nine feet high, with an unlimited books, budget. And it's trained kids to think globally and to read and to be engaged and to be lifelong learners, that is priceless, we could have spent the same money in taking them to Disney World, and the trip would be over. But if you take the money you might spend on a Disney trip and you buy kids’ books. Or if you take the money and you instead spend it on marriage therapy. So you build a great marriage, one of the best things you and I can do for our kids is to is to live a great marriage, and to be a marriage centered family, not a child centered family, and to take our kids on trips where they they see the poorest of the poor and the richest of the richest, and to challenge them to give alongside us and help them engage with the people we give to. So those that's the pursuit, I think you don't want to think about being poor. It's about being rich in what really matters. Now, the risks I faced where I was, I doubt it. I didn't see many people choosing to live intentionally, they were choosing to follow the pattern of our culture. That's where I had the risk of a wind of doubt, as I call it, I was doubting myself. I felt I had a career risk I was taking that if I stepped out of developing real estate, that the industry would change. And it certainly has. It's gotten way more complicated and it may be difficult to get back in and to continue to build wealth today to develop retirement homes like we own our it's much more complicated not only to find and get approvals for but to finance and then there was the risk of influence. I thought my influence would drop off when I left you know at CEO role President role of a development company instead. My influence has skyrocketed over these years because I've had the privilege of serving people that today run some one of the guys that I've coached runs goodwill net Surely, he's got 110,000 Poor people working for him at Goodwill. And I can influence leaders like that. At the person who runs World Vision is a person that I helped coach at halftime, Edgar Sandoval. He has 49,000 staff a $2.9 billion budget, and he serves millions of poor children around the world. I have way more influence now. But I was afraid my influence was going to just go away. The other fear I had was of my friends opinion, you know, when we started just curtailing our lifestyle, so we would be free to give. I needed to buy a new car, so I bought a Honda. Well, you know, my friends would come by and say to me in casual, Hey, how's your business doing? Because they thought my business must be going broke because they bought a Honda Mercedes.

Greg Voisen
So that is funny.

Lloyd Reeb
They bought less of me because I was buying a Honda and then..

Greg Voisen
Well, you say influence, but I think and not to interrupt you. But I, you know, I work with people going through succession planning, as part of my other business. And they're, I think when owner gets to a point, 60s, mid 60s, sometimes earlier in their late 50s 70s, they want to still be relevant. Right? What is their relevance, the business gave them relevance. So it's almost like you you are giving up the development side of things to commit your life to this new endeavor, which was designed to help and serve other people which you were doing in your other business, but in a different way. And I think we all like to maintain relevancy, whether we're a man or a woman, we want to know that the world needs us in some way. Right? That there's the woods way there. And what you said is this expanded beyond your imagination when you made the shift for the better. So there shouldn't be any fear to my listeners, if you're trusting God, to actually make this step. And I think you have to have trust in a higher power, whether you believe in God because I have listeners from all different walks of life, you're listening, whatever it is, you have to have that belief. Now, you you said that the halftime is a journey, you say you mentioned that halftime is a journey, not a process, not even a destination? Could you speak with the listeners about the stages of the journey? Because we all go through, you know, these halftime stages? And what questions we want to ask ourselves to provide insights and reassurance about the journey.

Lloyd Reeb
Yes, so if you think about a renewal season in your life, you probably go through one every decade. Usually, there's one big one in at an inflection point in midlife at some point in your 40s or 50s. It sometimes happens when you're, you know, your oldest kid goes off to college and you drop them off and you drive home and you think I can't believe it. I just brought that kid home from the hospital as a six pound little beautiful baby. And now they're 18. And on their own. You know, at school, you realize that you're at an inflection point, sometimes it happens because you get downsized from corporate America, or you have a health scare or friend dies at 45. And you just freak out. But you will go through renewals of one type or another probably every decade. And it's a similar journey. The first is taking the time to get clear on your vision. What is it that you you're envisioning this next season of your life looking like, you can't build a strategy if you don't have a clear vision, take some time to do that you have to take time to go think and explore and quiet time silence and solitude is important. The second stage is really kind of what I would call exploring or researching. It's an Anna analytical stage where you're, you're looking at your own skills, you're looking at your passions, you're defining the roles that you could play in an organization. And in coming up with scenarios and doing some exploring some phone calls with people that are in the area that you're interested in. And then you do some low cost probes or some testing it out and actually trying it on for size and see if you love it. And then you build a new equilibrium. So you're you make an enduring impact. You want to think about something that you could do in with the sustainability to it and both financially and also, you know, just in terms of the joy factor so that it really brings you joy. And you know, so the end of the day, you want to get clear, like I said earlier, a little bit clear on who you are, get free. So create some capacity, and then get going, and start and try something out and share it with your friends and talk about it with your spouse, if you happen to be married to your kids. Every year, I do a roadmap. And, you know, you're welcome to send mine out, Greg, to folks that are interested in it. But it has my mission statement. It has my long term metrics that has Linda's dream, and as our family vision, and then five action areas in then for that year. And those action areas give me focus in order to get going. And you know, when you write a plan down for your life, it gives you a significantly greater probability of actually executing on it.

Greg Voisen
Of course, yes. And I think just the mere fact that you've gone through some of the steps, but there are 10 steps in the halftime plan. And you said you would provide us with that, I think that would be a good opportunity for something that we could put up to let people look take a look at. And I did want to in the remaining time, I have two more questions I'd like to ask of you. And one is these companion guide books at the halftime Institute, family focused relationship resource as you call them. And for my listeners, you can go to www halftime dot o RG Correct? To get that, and then you'll see these books listed and the ones that I've flashed up a couple of times these. So could you just briefly kind of tell people what they are and what so people know, we're going to make those available to them. As downloads, Lloyd has agreed to basically make that available. And we will have them up at Google. And so people can get them off the Google Drive. And that will be in the blog. So look for that. We'll also put it at the post that we make on LinkedIn, and so on. So tell them a little bit about those resources, why you came up with them. And what those guidebooks are kind of meant to help people with.

Lloyd Reeb
If you're going to move from success to significance, if you're going to build a next season with more meaning joy and impact in your life. One of the core elements is going to be relationships, you know, as you get into your second half of life, deep, intimate, joy filled relationships matter more to us than simply more accomplishment, certainly more than just more material stuff. And I found that many of us many of my peers were not equipped to build deep, intimate relationships. No one really taught us intimacy no one compensated us for intimacy, we were compensated for being effective at what we're doing. And they're kind of three categories to it. First of all, how do you build a great second half with your spouse, where you're in alignment with your spouse, that's what halftime for couples is designed to do is to give you a roadmap, a set of questions that you could take away on a date night and just work through. It's a 60 minute read. It's designed to be a 60 minute read, and there's a click that you can download a roadmap and start filling it out together. The second one is building a thriving family and your second half. You know what I asked great leaders, what do you matter what matters most to you in this next season? They almost always say my family. So I started asking him, Greg, tell me about your plan for your family, and they don't have a plan. I have never had somebody say to me, let me email it to you. And so I thought there's a huge gap is they haven't thought through what is my vision for my family with our family values? Why shouldn't we know each other's love language, each other's strengths, each other's fears each other's opportunities? Shouldn't we have some generosity in the family? How could we become a more generous family, etc. And so the book building a thriving family in your second half is designed for people like you and I, Greg, that want to lead our family to be great, but they're, they're going off to college or they're getting married and they've got their own lives. And we wonder what is my leadership role now that our kids are on their 30s This book helps give you a guide for that. The last thing I hear is, most men don't have deep intimate friendships. And it's hard to figure out how to build friendships at this season of life very often you've moved around a lot with corporate transfers. Maybe you have three properties or two homes, one in Colorado and one in Naples, Florida or somewhere and you're disconnected. And they need a paint by numbers. Way to build deep, deep friendships. Do you remember when you're a kid if you wanted to be an artist, there was a paint by now embers approach? Oh,

Greg Voisen
yeah, I used to love those.

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah. I still love that stuff. And imagine if you could do deep friendships, paint by numbers. There's really four steps. The book finally connected helps you go through four simple steps. Who do you want to love extravagantly? They all have a name? When? When will they fit on your calendar? Put them on your calendar? What do they need to know about the deepest parts of your world that they don't know about? Because you could spell intimacy is into me see? And then lastly, how can I communicate it when it seems awkward to me. So you can see that those three books, that trilogy are all 60 minute reads, designed to help you build the relational intimacy and richness that you want in the second half of your life.

Greg Voisen
And we're going to make all of those available, which I put them up during the course of your little talk there the trilogy as a free download. So all of you listening will have that up there. And you'll just click on the blog, and you'll be able to go into the blog and get to those. There's also a book I want to mention, and I think you might advocate and I know that Bo does the one that connected us, which is the family meetings book. And I think that's something that we'll put a link to as well, Jim hasn't been on the show as of yet the author of that. But I think it's so important to have those family meetings. So in our summation here, I always think it's best, we take all this 45 minutes of talk, and we distill it down into some takeaways. And if you were to leave the listeners right now, who want to lead a life has significance, and take the journey we've been talking about, and take the halftime questioning their contributions and how we can feel about our families and our relationships, and our impact and footprint that we have left that we can leave in the world. What advice would you give them? What are three key areas, Lloyd that you'd want to leave this listening audience with?

Lloyd Reeb
I think the first one is to decide if you want to live a thoughtful, intentional life, you really have to decide because our culture is not going to help you decide on that it's gonna send a myriad of things to you, that just add complexity to your life and get you scattered and sloppy busy. So number one, decide do you want to live the pursuit of intentionality without insisting on control? Secondly, get clear on what you want long term, long term metrics for your life, if your life turned out perfectly, how would you know, and write those down. And third, know your purpose in life? Know the reason God puts you on this planet, so that you can live into it. Because if there is a designer that created you and me with all the uniqueness, just like that, there's no two snow flakes that are the same. There are no two people the same, we were designed intentionally. And the joy comes from living into that purpose. So know your purpose statement. And we can help you build a mission statement if you don't have one. But write out what you think your purpose is. Usually it should include your strengths, what you're passionate about, and the difference you want to make on this planet.

Greg Voisen
Well, and you can get more information about all of this at www.halftime.org if you want to. And we'll have a link to that. But we'll also have a link to Lloyd's website, which is lloydreeb.org. There, you can learn more information about him the books that He's authored. And what I'd like to say here is that you said something about 20 minutes ago, and I think this was really I think many many people are curious about this. Lloyd said to basically, and I didn't want to leave this one out, right? Go look in one of the big newspapers and clip articles. Because this is the beginning of your investigation as someone who's curious to really look at areas that really light your fire, right? You want to find something you're passionate about. And I think that then turns into the purpose, which then turns into a goal, which then turns into what we call proximal goals, sub set goals. But we're all given focus, right? And he's saying and I've heard this throughout several times, you've got to get focused, you've got to get a plan. But in that process, he mentioned something that I think is really valuable, and I don't think many people do it. And that is go take the clippings from areas that light your fire, whether it's the pollution in the ocean, it's the wildfires. It's the the sea turtles that are dying. It's the homelessness. It's something you're passionate about, and then write that purpose statement around it. And then create goals around that. And your, you'll get there no matter what, whether it's teaming up with another charity, or it's doing your own charity, or it's just giving money away or giving your time. It's time talent and resources. But you've been very enlightening today. And again, I'm going to hold up the book or a roadmap for this, get from success to significance, go out and buy this book. I think it'll be a great door opener for you definitely go to www halftime dot orgy and download, download these pamphlets that he said that are an hour long read. Lloyd, thank you, thank you, Blessings to you and to Linda, for all the work that you're doing, the difference that you're making for so many people about awakening them? Right, here's the key about awakening them to something that they can do that really doesn't have to significantly change their life, there doesn't need to be fears around taking this journey. Right. Anything else you want to say?

Lloyd Reeb
Yeah, you know, and the joy is, is the big thing. You know, my joy meter is that I can nine or nine and a half Greg? out of 10. You know, and that's just wonderful. I just, it's hard to describe that. And yet, I didn't have that before. So everybody can find the path to joy when they listened deeply to who they created them to be?

Greg Voisen
Well, and I want to add one thing, and then I'm going to shut up. And I think as you get older, energy management is a key. We realize that these bodies start to change a bit, that we maybe don't have as much energy, but you get energy infused by doing the things that we're talking about. So if you want to have more energy in life, you want to have more blessings in life. Definitely take this path and this road. Lloyd, thanks for opening all of my listeners eyes to it. Thanks for your contribution and blessings to you and DeLanda

Lloyd Reeb
Thank you Greg. Have a great day.