Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth! Joining us this episode is one of the authors of the book The Communication Code: Unlock Every Relationship, One Conversation at a Time, Jeremie Kubicek.
Jeremie is an entrepreneur with an emphasis on transformational leadership. He believes that the secret of leadership is knowing yourself and your tendencies, enabling you to lead yourself first. Once you become competent in leading yourself, the secret to leading others lies in understanding when to alternately support and challenge them with consistency. When people see you leading yourself and know you are for them, then they are more apt to follow you, because they perceive you as a leader worth following.
Jeremie is also Executive Chairman and Co-founder of the GiANT companies. They are a global media and content development company specializing in leader transformation with a vision to raise up liberating leaders in every major city and every major sector of the world.
Jeremie is also a bestselling author. Some of his books are co-authored with Steve Cockram who is also a Co-founder of GiANT. Last November 2023, they released their third book together – The Communication Code: Unlock Every Relationship, One Conversation at a Time. The book helps in setting up conversations and communication in a way that creates a win-win scenario for everyone involved.
If you want to learn more about Jeremie, you may visit his website here.
Thanks and happy listening!
You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.
Greg Voisen
Welcome back to another episode of Inside Personal Growth. Jeremie, I do all the time and thank my listeners that come from around the world that listen to my show and have been faithful listeners that 1000s of you out there. Thank you. Thank you for doing that. We're off to New Year here. And we have Jeremie Kubicek on here. And Steve Cochram. They own a company called Giant. And we're going to give you a link to that website as well. As a matter of fact, that company's website is giantworldwide.com. And Jeremie's personal website is jeremiekubicek.com. And that is spelled k-u-b-i-c-e-k. And Jeremie is spelled a little differently to j-e-r-e-m-i-e. I will put a link to Amazon to the book itself. But for all you listeners, if you want to check out more about giant and Jeremie in this new wily book called The Communication Code, I encourage you to go up there and check that out. Good day to you from Oklahoma City. How you doing, Jeremie?
Jeremie Kubicek
I'm doing great to be with you. Great, thanks for this appreciate the time.
Greg Voisen
Well, we appreciate having you. Come on. And you and your partner have been running this company for some time. And a little bit. Basically, in this book, I'm going to actually give my listeners a tad bit about you. It's very, very short. But it works. We were just talking about that. He is the executive chairman and co founder of giant g i small i A and T worldwide. He is a global speaker, serial entrepreneur, and Wall Street Journal best seller, author of making your leadership come alive. And the Peace Index, which you see behind his head, they're also the author of the 100x leader, the five voices and the five gears. Well, we appreciate your contribution to a very important topic. And I think we could talk for probably hours and hours about kind of a lack of leadership in our country at this point and the lack of of interest to try and get anything done in our Congress. And I think we hire those constituents to kind of represent us. But lately, it doesn't seem like they've been getting much done. And I'm sure that my listeners would actually concur with you. So Jeremie, if you would, can you tell the listeners a little bit about giant, the mission of your organization, your vision, and why you and Steve wrote the communications code, and what you'd really like these listeners to take away from our interview today.
Jeremie Kubicek
Yeah, so years ago, I used to run some of the largest leadership brands and events, leader camps, the catalyst conferences and had bought in the John Maxwell company's assets and a lot of different worked with a lot of different thought leaders. And I got to this point where we started to see adult learning, changing that adults were learning differently. It used to be butts and seats, selling books. It used to be a lot of reading a lot of text, and all of a sudden, but because of technology and the proliferation of content, it became a different learning style, we started seeing that adults were cynical, know it alls, who didn't read much anymore. And they began to watch a lot more. And so we started to adjust around 2013. We started studying going into 21st century learning styles, that it's visual, you have to create common language and you have to teach it to an educated 13 year old, an auditory. Got it? Yeah. And so all of a sudden, if you teach it very quickly, if you can learn it on a cocktail napkin in Teach off of a cocktail napkin, then then you'll learn. So that's what we did. We started to play with this, and it started to grow in scale. And then we found ourselves at this point of like, you know, what, how do we license this? How do we open source it? So we're in about 120 countries, we will have about close to 1000 rather than 1000 consultants and coaches who train off of our content and use it scale. But our purpose is really, how do we build more relationally intelligent leaders? Because most of the drama comes from relational unintelligent leaders. And it just creates sideways energy, right? And so we figured out tools and things that work around personality, emotional intelligence, hard skills, so that it helps them become more effective in the way they communicate and build trust with others. Yeah,
Greg Voisen
and you do an exceptional job of it. I've been to your website, I've seen the apps I've seen what you guys have created. I've seen you've built a whole Huge coaching community underneath you, which is exceptional. Many leadership firms go with this, they don't go at it that way. I've had many people on here speaking with books about leadership, that have built some pretty big companies, one probably as big as yours. And, you know, I think it comes down to and you're talking about in this book, not only healthy communications, you say is an exception, and not the norm. But how can listeners become what you call people whispers as you speak about in the book, because, you know, a leader is about grit, determination, communications, collaboration, you know, we could name all the acronyms that describe leaders. Unfortunately, we seem to get some leaders that have more of some and less of others. And they're not particularly good communicators. Right? So how do you get them or help them to become much better communicators?
Jeremie Kubicek
It starts with a mirror, you know, mirrors, mirrors, don't judge mirrors reflect reality. And the idea that we tried to start with was, what's it like to be on the other side of you. So know yourself, delude yourself. Once you know yourself and can lead yourself, then you can become a people whisper because people see that you're leading yourself. But if you're not, that's the problem with the word hypocrisy. Most people experience a PA cracy from leaders because they tell you to do something they're not willing to do for themselves. So you have to establish the simple self awareness, the basic, know yourself, lead yourself, then when people see that you're changing, and you're getting the broccoli out of your own teeth, because you see it in the mirror, then they might be willing to listen to you when you show them the mirror that they have broccoli in their teeth. And so this journey, then being a people whisper is actually using mirrors strategically, to help get broccoli out of your teeth without judgment. Because when judgment enters in, pride comes in, and self preservation and walls come up. And that's typically what keeps people from being a people whisperer. Yeah, you
Greg Voisen
know, obviously, we've heard Brene Brown saying, being authentic, being transparent. It's a big issue. And we know some of the biggest issues is you can't have a good leader unless there's ego, but a lot of times that ego gets in the way. Because people choose to talk at you. And then instead of listen to you, what do you what do you say about the good listening skills with empathetic listening skills with somebody who's going to be a good communicator?
Jeremie Kubicek
So for us, we've we say communication is really about managing expectations. So let's say, Greg, we're having a dinner, okay. And we have a conversation, you share some things with me, when you share and you're communicating, you're transferring information, that information has an expectation attached to it, you're expecting something from me, you're expecting me to just listen, you're expecting me to celebrate, you're expecting me to maybe collaborate with you. But if, if I don't know what the expectation is, or let's just say I'm not very relationally intelligent, and you just want me to listen, and then I come with full critique. Why do you do that? That's the dumbest thing you could do. You ought to you should have done X, Y, and Z, then that's probably the last time you're ever going to share information with me. And so
Greg Voisen
I'm gonna be very defensive from this, right. Yeah. And
Jeremie Kubicek
so what happens then is really great leaders are great communicators, and great communicators are great at understanding expectations. When you believe
Greg Voisen
there has to be an element in this Jeremie have a level of grace. You know, when I say this, I mean that, really importantly, I've seen so many leaders. I don't even think sometimes they think before they speak. You know, they get so emotional about something, they blurt something out, they hurt some people's feelings, just like you just said. And that scar with those people stays there a long time, a
Jeremie Kubicek
long time. In fact, in the book, we talked about the first two chapters, do you understand what it's been like to be on the other side of you? Because you might have good intent to want to communicate, but you have power plays. So what happens then is maybe it's your ego, maybe it's your personality, and maybe it's your positional power, maybe As your age, whatever, that you will project on other people, so then they experienced your challenge, but they don't experience your support. And then when they don't experience your support, first, they're going to put walls up to protect themselves. So what you have to do is you have to be consistent in bringing support, which is grace, and challenge, which is truth, grace and truth live together. It great leaders manage and calibrate grace and truth or support and challenge. And what we're trying to do is give people the tools to know actually, how do I actually support people? How do I do that? Oh, my gosh, I do do that, don't I? Yeah, I kind of dominate people. I don't mean to, but I do. What do I do about that? And that's ultimately what our writings are about? Well,
Greg Voisen
you know, you mentioned in the book about the relationship and how to establish or re establish a relational trust between two people, if you could, can you speak about the past writing since we talked about it a bit, I introduced the other two books regarding the five voices and the five gears because fundamentally, when people start out writing, they start and there's almost like a stair step I've noticed, you know, I'll do my first book, I'll do my second book, I'll do my third book, I'll do my fourth book. And with inside these books, you can usually find, especially if they're business books, a, a trail, right? The growth of the person writing the book, or co authors writing the book, while at the same time saying, Hey, we've found something exceptionally new. And we want to expose it.
Jeremie Kubicek
So are in that regard, our manifesto book was the 100x. Leader, we put it all together there. The five voices is basically the foundational of knowing yourself. personality, what we did is we took Carl Jung's work, and we simplified it. Whereas a lot of people don't. They get lost in language, like I don't know what an ISTJ is, or I don't know what a seven with a wing eight is. It's too complicated to scale. So we're like, how do we make it simple enough, so that everyone can play. And that's what we did the five voices. So we took personality, and go, there's five main personalities, with many other iterations around at 16 Total combinations. But there's the nurturer, and a creative and a guardian, and a connector and a pioneer. And each of them have louder voices. The loudest voices are the pioneers, and the connectors. And as leaders, they take all the oxygen out of the room. Because they're the most future oriented, they're the loudest because they're trying to direct people. But oftentimes, they'll minimize the other voices, and therefore they don't create the value. And they get compliance, not engagement, because they're talking all the time. So that's an example of how we've broken down personality, and made it come alive inside organizations, families, and so forth.
Greg Voisen
Like almost like you've made it almost like five archetypes. Let's write these five archetypes. And that's good. I mean, five is a good number. It's easy to remember, I know people that come out with archetypes they come out with so many, it's hard to remember, like you said you wanted to make it simple. But what are the five gears?
Jeremie Kubicek
So the five gears now become it actually, most of our content comes with issues that Steve and I have had with each other, I mean, conflict. So what we do is we dissect the conflict, and then we figure it out. Well, man, I bet everyone deals with this, right? So my situation was I was, for a number of years, when I was running all these businesses in Atlanta, I was over productive and under present with people. So I was consumed with productivity, but I was under present with my wife, my kids, my co workers, my employees. And so I was like man, can I be present and productive and still get a lot done. And so then when we moved to London, Steve, I was noticing observing my business partner, and I was trying to explain what I was seeing what it was like to be on the other side of him and so I used the metaphor of a manual stick shift and the the manual stick shift, you know, the most are manual in the UK, and the US mostly automatic and they shift for you. And I was trying to explain to him emotional intelligence, so I put it in five simple gears, fifth gear is focused mode. Fourth gear is multitask. Third gear is social. Second gear is connect mode. First gear is recharge. We need every gear every day. So the emotional awareness we're emotionally aware or relationally intelligent erson is automatic, they can shift in and out of each gear all day long. Well, the interesting part is, is if you have your gear order, your spouse, a partner or a co workers, they have their gear orders. What gear should you be in right now, some people are in fifth mode far too long, they like to focus, they close the door, no one's around them, they launch at their computer. And they are having relational issues. Some people, it's, Hey, we're going to the pub, it's after work. And we're in third gear. We're just chit chatting, small talk social. And you can walk in with a fourth period question and asking about an email from Mark. Well, we're going to turn our shoulder to you. So instead of turning our shoulder to you, we just called plays ago, hey, we're in third. Oh, yeah, my bad. I'm in the wrong gear. So it's a sign language. So you've
Greg Voisen
created, you've created kind of a sign language for that. And I think that leads me to this next question. I think those gears are a great analogy, right? The key is getting the people you're working with in the same gear, right? So you speak about if you could speak to the listeners about breaking the communication codes, as well as the four stages, and how to better decipher people's expectations. Because I think that's where you come in when you're in fourth gear, or fifth, and they're in third gear. And you're not deciphering kind of where they're at. Right. You're literally asking a question about an email, as you mentioned, and they're just doing chit chat.
Jeremie Kubicek
That's it. And it's all expectation management. If you think about it, right. I'm expecting us to be in third gear, small talk. And you're talking to me about an email. But this is third gear time. Do you see that? So what we're doing is we're creating common objective language, so that the subjective drama doesn't interrupt. So by me, instead of me nagging you or a spouse going, Hey, you're always on your phone, you're always on your phone, you're always on the phone. All you have to do is go, Hey, I thought we were doing to time. Yeah. You're right, you're right. So now I can adjust. So now I'm adjusting expectations. So the same with communication. So let me give you the five C's, I'll just tell you what they are. So we figured out that there's five actual code words. So every communication has an expectation. Every expectation has a code word attached to it. If you solve the code word, you can solve their expectation. So we figured out that most people they want either celebration, care, they want. Clarity, collaboration, or critique. Right now very few people really want critique a lot of people like to give critique.
Greg Voisen
What about clarification? Yeah, clarifications. Three. Yeah. So I hear it as care, celebration, collaboration, critique and clarification. So these are your five C's, right? This is five C's? That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And it makes sense. Because our listeners, this is like the toolbox. Because in essence, at the core of this book, communication codes, is understanding these five C's and understanding where people are. Right? So would that be correct?
Jeremie Kubicek
And then giving them that the language or asking you Okay, so great. We're, we're at dinner tonight, what you're sharing this information? What do you want from me tonight, you want me to celebrate your care, you need clarity, you want to collaborate? What is it you want, and if you know the language, then it becomes very easy. And you go, Hey, I just need I want to, I want you to clarify first, but then I value your what you bring, I wanted to collaborate, but make sure let's make sure that we're good on knowing what we were talking about first.
Greg Voisen
So do you utilize things like clarifying questions? You know, I have a master's degree in psychology. So we go through counseling, you ask clarifying questions. Like, I would say, Hey, Jeremie, this is what I heard you say, right. And I think your code system is cool, but only if you're in the same realm of people using the code because otherwise, you kind of know what the hell actually
Jeremie Kubicek
if you get it, you can actually ask it without them knowing too. So I've gotten we've gotten really good. So an example is it's, Hey, I hear what you're saying. I'm still clarifying what would be most helpful tonight, as I'm listening to you what would be most helpful? Well, I just need to talk. So I know that means care. I use clarity, to figure out care or I'm now aware, they are in celebration mode. And I can then say, and it sounds like, it sounds like you need a big high five is that we're in I'm basically aligning with their expectations. But what it's doing is it's the Platinum Rule, do unto others as they would want done to themselves. Um, now what I'm doing is I'm shifting my normal tendencies to start thinking about the other person. Where are they? What are they wanting right now? Seems like this. I'm now clarifying. If I give them the language, even if they don't know what it means, I can still say, sounds like you want to celebrate that is our plan for tonight, then I'm at least aligning myself as possible, you're
Greg Voisen
at least asking the clarifying question. I would assume they know what they want. But that brings me to this. You know, you mentioned that some might dismiss this care of one of the five C's and want to skip forward to other sections. And then you speak about what people need, which is emotional support, security, affirmation and bonding. talk with us about that. Because I think, look, if I'm here, and you're here, and I don't get clarity on the fact that worst boats to both be together, because I've got another agenda. Right? I'm, I'm trying to do something else. And I can't get you to switch gears, you said five gears? How do we actually help each other align toward our common bonding, so that it's much better communication?
Jeremie Kubicek
Well, so I would break it down into population density at 40% of the population roughly, are thinkers, you know, 60%, or more feelers. So if you think about that in our society, so thinkers, how they want care versus how feelers want care. And when you start thinking feelers, when people hear the word care, that means you want me to give you a hug a high five, listen, what is that and a thinker, it goes, I have no idea what you're talking about right now, I don't know what you need, I don't know why you would need that. It's really difficult. On the other side, thinkers need care as well. But their care is completely different than feeler care, thinker care is, basically, I need a safe place to get the poison out. I need you to talk out loud, and just vent, and you're safe. And that's showing me care when you let me do that. Great. So understanding the differences of what care really means, but what you're doing is at the core of it, when people feel critiqued, if they feel the challenge would not support and they're gonna feel critical. Not the real word of critique is really meant to help. reticle is a negative view of someone, right? So you don't want to criticize. But if I don't know that you're for me, if I think that you're for yourself, or you're against me, then any feedback that you bring me, I'm going to see it through the lens of critical illness, or negativity, not through a positive that you're fighting for my highest possible good. And that's ultimately the relational intelligence. We're trying to help executives, leaders get like, there's a whole nother word and whole new era of relational dynamics that certain personalities are just not used to. It's not the old school, four days of you just come in and punch the clock and do your work. People are so fickle, they'll leave over a conversation. I mean, I work inside the sports world as well. So I coach a number of football coaches, and I've worked with a number of football teams and, and I've been working inside, specifically the University of Oklahoma football team, and watching the transfer portal of these kids just changing and deciding to leave a school over a conversation. It's unreal. It's so that's the era we're in right. So yeah, gotta have relational intelligence coaches, and or leaders because the old days are just gone.
Greg Voisen
Yeah, I think that coaching from the old days definitely is gone. And I know that some of the people that I've worked with like David Meltzer, and people like that, you probably know is that as a sports, signing kind of business where he he used to sign all kinds of athletes. Now, one of these things that you mentioned, we talked about care. But clarifying is valuable because we just said it enables us to communicate more effectively with others clarifying but to resolve misunderstandings, like you said, Have these kids who just like are taking off and prevent confusion. And I think that preventing confusion is really the biggest area because they're not clarifying. Right? And they're not getting the other person's input. I often think that sometimes they miss the important question, which is, what do you think about this? And that's my own personal take on this. So they don't feel included, they don't feel part of it. If it's a decision being made, hey, it's my decision. This is what I made you do it or the highway kind of thing. Not anything where they could actually include somebody, what are some of the ways to better clarify and actively listen to the other person so that they don't walk out the door, like you just said?
Jeremie Kubicek
So we've taken this even further, and we've figured out there's a custom communication code. So there's a general communication code, these are the five C's, right? But if, let's say you and I were buds were hanging out, and we're even close, we're business partners, Greg. So now all of a sudden, I'm gonna come to you, and I'm gonna go, Hey, specifically, here's what I'm really looking for. I want you to number one, clarify. But when you clarify, would you please just ask and go as deep as you want, until I know that you've gotten what I'm trying to say. And then I want you to collaboration, but don't collaborate before you clarify. So, but I'm giving you the the insights, like I want you to ask questions, I want you to dig, I want you to go as deep as you possibly can, I have to do this, my wife will sit in the hot tub, and we'll have conversations. And what I figured out was, I have a tendency to want to celebrate with her. And I have a tendency to want to clarify with her. She doesn't need a lot of care. She knows I care. She doesn't want critique, right. And so then what does she want? What does she tend to do to me? Well, I am desiring clarity, and then some celebration. But I normally get collaboration and critique. So we have, we were missing each other. And so now by using the language, we have not actually gotten on the same page of expectation, because I'm specifically saying, this is exactly how I want to play the communication. So then she can match my expectations. And conversely, now I know what she is exactly wanting. So I think that's the beauty of this is like once you figure out the common generic language, you can customize it. And using clarity to really, really make sure that you're connecting with the other person. And that's what unlocked relationships, consistency of communication. And relational trust, means that walls will fall down, because I know you're fighting for me, you're not just, you're not just doing what you normally do.
Greg Voisen
Yeah, and I think that active listening part is really important, because they need to feel like they're heard not only feel like they're heard, but understood. And it does take a certain training, to realize that act of listening with empathy, and understanding, to know the other person's side of it, especially if there's a disagreement, before you start to try and resolve that, and you told a great story in the book about Steve Jobs, and she's going was neck. And it's really about them finding this way to collaborate. I mean, Steve Jobs, always in all the books written about him and what people used to say, because I've had plenty of people on here that wrote books about him and so on, used to get, I think, kind of a bum rap. Granted, he was not probably the best communicator. Okay. And he could be very curt, and very quick at what he did. But you'll find a lot of leaders are like that. So if you're trying to help leaders be better. How do you help them collaborate?
Jeremie Kubicek
Yeah. So again, it goes back to I had this situation happen this morning, actually, with a very strong leader that I had been working with on a project and I had to remind him of certain ways because he was losing his team, because of just some basic things he was doing when he didn't need to do those things. Right. So Mears, do you know what it's like to be on the other side of you? What are you trying to say? And what are you afraid of losing? And in a lot of cases, I think back to Steve Jobs, I think Steve was so brilliant. And he had so much in his head, but he had a hard time getting all of these big ideas through this small mouth and He would always also not throw his cast His pearls before swine. So therefore, he had to trust the competency on the of the people on the other side of them. Once he would do that, then there was some walls that would come down and they were able to do some, some great things. I think that's what Steve and Steve Wozniak did for a period of time. Over time, obviously, they didn't stay business partners, and there's, you know, all types of things. But I do think it's the idea that if you if you're a strong personality, if you can simply be aware of who are you on the other side up? How are they wired, if you can get good at that, that takes we've tried to, we tried to create books to make it and concepts to make it simple enough. So you can figure out the basics without having to go get an MBA for it. So you can actually get get close? Well, then if you just use tools, okay, the five C's, what do they want from me? If the other person knows language? What do you want? I need care. Okay, what does care look like? I just need you to listen, okay? I'm not very good at it. But I'll try. If you can actually have open dialogue like that, that's when authenticity comes in. Because the other person knows you're trying even if you're not good at it. And that's where they get to see your full intent. It's most people who are so busy, and they're so over productive and under present, that they minimize their influence. And long term, that minimization of influence causes all types of drama. And they ultimately lose, they lose families, they lose teams that don't get to the vision because they've undermined their vision by their own style.
Greg Voisen
Well, you know, you take Steve Jobs, you take Elon Musk, their communication styles are pretty similar. And that they were both thinkers, like you said earlier. And they were both brilliant guys. Okay, let's face it. Huge, brilliant, their degree of intelligence, if you took an intelligence as matter of fact, somebody wrote something the other day, I think it was Elon himself said you wouldn't want to be in my head. You wouldn't want my mind. Because it's always on, it's always moving, he can hardly ever turn it off. And he said, it's not a great thing. And I think that's true for a lot of good thinkers who've been super creative have changed the world like Steve and him. And it's a challenge. And it's totally a challenge, you can see about how they handle the press, about how they communicate to the world about how the world sees them. You know, they might be a brilliant mind, but they'll even tell you. And they maybe don't want to admit this, but they're not the best people. They're not people people. Okay. That's a talent. Yeah, yeah, it's a whole nother thing. But now, you know, you mentioned that critiquing is a valuable tool for helping individuals and groups improve. And we've talked about it their skills and abilities. And again, critiquing those two guys would be a challenge for anybody. And it fosters creative and intelligent growth. How would we use this constructive magnet to become better at critiquing? Because, like, you just said, We don't want to feel like somebody's nitpicking at us.
Jeremie Kubicek
Yeah, so back to thinker feeler. So let's say this is my idea. What dealers will do, I think theirs will do say, Hey, Greg, here's my idea. What do you think of it? Shoot holes in it? Great. Okay, they take it. Now. What do you think I worked on it? What do you think? Oh, good. Thanks, man. You made it better. What happens though, is feelers take the same idea. And what do you think of my idea, and they put it right here over their heart? And then you shoot at it, and then all of a sudden, there's blood? And people were like, Why did you put it over your heart? This isn't personal. This is business. And you're like, No, everything is personal, right to 60% of the population. So we have to just be aware of critique and almost asking permission two or three times like, Okay, you really want my critique. And if you do then, just realize, you know, I sometimes can do just, I'm gonna I'm gonna use machine gun here. We're good. Do you have do you have your Kevlar on? Yeah. And that's because you need to be aware, are they a feeler are they are a thinker. If they're a feeler, clarify before you bring it out, and that's just some some, but these are just some basic things that can be done. But the attempt will be appreciated by the other person that they see it versus if they do what you normally do. Why do you do it that way? That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Nobody does it that way. No, let me have it. You don't need to do it here. Right. No one wants to feel like they're an idiot. So that's In essence, what happens? So it's what does it feel like to be on the other side of you? What do people see on the other side of you? And can you adjust? It's
Greg Voisen
a, that's really great advice. And I think people have to know what personality or archetype is the people they're dealing with. And once they note that they can reframe how they're going to approach it, so as to improve the communications without hurting feelings. And I think that's so imperative. Now, in kind of wrapping up our interview, your last chapter of your book, you you talk about creating a plan, right? Communications Plan, what three things can the listeners take away from our conversation that you'd like them to take away today to be better communication, more effective communicators? And I'm gonna say, with more compassion and understanding?
Jeremie Kubicek
Well, so you have to first decide is that relationship worth it or not? Because in some cases, you're like, I don't know, if I want to work on that relationship. I mean, there's too far gone. And that's just a reality. But let's say that it is, so you do want to work on it. The first thing is, okay, what's it been like to be on the other side of you? Do you need to apologize for something? Do you need to actually say, Hey, Greg, I know, in the past, I've probably been a little dominating, and then I gotta tell you, it's not what I want. I'm gonna get to work on it. But I know, it's gonna take time for you to believe that this is real. So just let me know, I'm sorry. And I'm going to work on it. That's number one, two, I'm going to ask what is what is the communication that you would most like with that other person? Hey, these are the communication code helped me communicate more effectively with you? What is it you typically want from me? Man, I just need you to care. And I want you to celebrate. But what if I don't think it's worth celebrating? Yeah, so we talk openly about it. If you have a relationship, and and they go, I just need you to care. Okay, what does that look like? Now, once they tell them you practice, close the lip, you have discernment on when you want to critique. And if they asked you that, you want to do care in celebration, stay in that for a while, then build up trust. And then maybe in the future, when there is a critique moment, you can ask them if you can collaborate or critique. But that's the, that's a process. That's just one example of what you can do. You have to decide if it's worth it, you have to deal with your past you need to know and understand the communication code together. And then you practice using it and getting custom with it. Just maybe you'll unlock that relationship.
Greg Voisen
Well, the great thing is that, for anybody wanting to look at the communication code, and the five C's, this is an easy read book. It's not super thick. You guys got his on? Yeah, you guys can pick this up at Amazon. The only thing I'm gonna encourage anybody out there who's in middle management, upper management, CEO of a company and say, Hey, this was a great conversation this morning. I want to learn more, go to the the website for the company, which is giant, worldwide, giant worldwide. There you can connect. You can also see that they've got lots of coaches that they can get out to your company. You can also go to Jeremie's website, that's je REMIEKKUBICE K. There, you can learn about his speaking more about him. If you want to have him come talk at your company, you certainly want to go there. Jeremie, it's been a pleasure having you on inside personal growth, spending time talking about your new book. Plus for all of those who are interested in the five gears or the five voices, or the Peace Index, or the 100x. We'll put links to those at Amazon as well, because those are prayer books. Sounds like the 100x actually pulls it all together in one book. But this is the book we talked about today. Jeremie any parting words for the listeners
Jeremie Kubicek
now just excited for you to you know, work on your relationships and go for it. And I would just encourage you, it can be done. It does take work. But if you really want to unlock the relationship and then use the communication code is very helpful.
Greg Voisen
Thanks so much, Jeremie. Thank you for being on inside personal growth.
Jeremie Kubicek
Thanks, Greg!
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