[00:02.2]
Well, listeners, you're in for a treat today. Because joining us now, Punkah, where are you joining us from? Jacksonville, Florida. Jacksonville, Florida. Well, that's a wonderful area. And he has a book that we're going to be speaking in about today called Circle Up.

[00:22.4]
You can see it over his right hand shoulder. But you also, if you hold up a copy, it's right there. And I, I, I, basically he says that I can call him Singh because his last name is Singh, and I think that's easier than pronouncing his first name.

[00:38.9]
So that's what we're going to do. And he is just created something in my estimation, which is truly so necessary for people today. With the world in this dates that we see it in, we, need to shift our perception.

[00:57.5]
And Singh really brings to you that with Circle Up. He has other books as well, Ascendancy, which we will put a link to as well. But I welcome you to the show. Good day to you. Thank you for taking this time to be with my listeners.

[01:12.9]
You doing good? I'm doing good and thanks for having me. It's, it's my goal of getting the micro practices, 250,000 individuals in 2025. So I truly appreciate you helping me in getting the word out. Well, we appreciate you in coming on and talking specifically with listeners and I'm really thrilled to have you.

[01:34.5]
Singh, he is a visionary founder of Singh Power Up Coach and the co founder of Kermelli Technologies. Is that right, Jeremy? Yeah. Okay. But his journey to become what we call an architect, Architect of leadership ascension, is far more compelling than those titles that we talked about.

[01:57.9]
He has our 20 years of C suite experience, expanding leadership roles, entrepreneur ventures and business consulting. Singh has lived the very challenges that he now helps leaders overcome. He's really walked the tightrope between relentless ambition and sustainable leadership.

[02:19.5]
And he's cracked the code. And I will tell you, I believe this is one of the individuals that I've had on my podcast and as you all know who listen to the show over 12, 30 episodes. Singh is exceptional. So he has cracked the code without burning out in the process.

[02:39.2]
So he had to wake up to have that happen. And I think that's truly what he does is he helps and individuals wake up, to truly what they can be. We're going to talk about a lot of things here today, but he truly takes this, this revolutionary program and proven coaching methodology that bridges the gap between high performance and well being.

[03:02.2]
Unlike leadership philosophies, that you ask you to choose between results and balance. Singh's approach integrates both seamlessly. So he has this master, what he calls leadership Master Compass and it specializes framework in progress methodology.

[03:22.7]
And today we're going to explore his new book Circle Up. And the reason why he wrote Circle Up. So Singh, let's, let's just start off there because people can go to your website and we're going to put a link to both.

[03:38.5]
He's got several websites. He also has I found out two LinkedIn pages as well. So we'll put link, we'll put links to those as, as well. And I think in the circle up because really this book is just breaking.

[03:56.4]
People can go to Amazon and order it now. And you say it's out as we speak. So the reality is, and also I think you're, I mentioned this morning on a post that you did on LinkedIn that people can get it on Kindle for free.

[04:15.3]
Right. So he's really, he walks the talk. He's really trying to help you. So look, you open the book by saying, you don't have to go this alone. Okay. And many of these leaders listening feel lonely a lot of the time.

[04:33.6]
I, know I've been there personally, I've been there more than once. What was the moment in your life when you realized that you were trying to carry everything by yourself and that you did, you did that to lead in creating the Compass Circle framework?

[04:52.1]
No, that, that's. I get goosebumps every time I start. I, I try to reflect back and, and see what happened. It goes back October 2020. There was a ransomware attack in an organization where I was the chief technology officer. We came out of it. It was peak of COVID Everybody was working from home almost right.

[05:10.7]
So there was a lot of logistics nightmare and fast forward once we had the vaccines and everything and the little bit of social distance was relaxed. So sometime after getting the first vaccine, the coffee shop still had the distance there.

[05:26.8]
And I was just sitting there having a coffee and I was completely immersed and I didn't even notice. My very close friend had just walked in front of me and I was lost and all. He told me that there was Singh, you don't have to do this alone.

[05:47.8]
The ransomware attack, defending that in 48 hours, coming out of it, being alone in that office without anyone and trying to coordinate everything virtually. Whatever you did is mastermind. You need to figure out how you were able to do that and how you can explain that to people, that people can start using whatever that is that you have the magic.

[06:10.1]
Right. So that's where I started reflecting back. And there were two very distinct things that I identified. So the whole program goes into mindful practice, micro practices and stuff like that. I have practiced mindfulness for four decades now.

[06:25.2]
Right. My very early, introduction to true mindful practice was when I was 14 year old. Right. But what I realized was when I started reflecting after that statement, two, three weeks, I had very unique perspective of people that I had around me in my life.

[06:48.0]
And I was very intentional in having conversations with them. And when I started digging into it, I came up with seven relationships. And that's what COMPASS stands for. C O P A S S. That's what it stands for. And you need to have those relationships in your life to be able to not let alone.

[07:05.4]
You mentioned something that most of the leaders who are listening to this, there is a phenomena of people becoming isolated for a few different reasons. One reason is the fear of showing vulnerability.

[07:22.5]
People will not trust the fear of showing vulnerability. Vulnerability. Okay, right. Because then people will not respect me. No, actually, vulnerability makes you a better leader. Vulnerability allows people to trust you. Right. You need to show emotions.

[07:38.5]
And the second part is we have lost the emotional context of our life. Whenever you talk, anybody randomly, when you talk to them about emotion, they will say five or six words. That's it. So the language, they have to extend the vocabulary of emotion to better understand what they're going through.

[07:58.6]
What do you think? What do you think Singh has broken people's spirit and heart? I mean, I look at the advancement of technology and we people, a lot of people go for breadth. And, people even talk to me about the show.

[08:15.0]
Well, you know, why don't you have more breadth? And I said, because I have a lot of depth. And to me, it's more about the relationships than it is the breadth. But it seems like we're living in a world that's always on, always wants more, you got to do more to be better, to be recognized, whatever.

[08:36.2]
And, and while I think the social media and the world, you know, this Internet revolution and AI revolution has really been a blessing. There's been this curse. And so I'm asking you about, the spirit and the heart and the compassion part.

[08:58.0]
You know, for somebody who's practiced mindfulness and meditation for all these years, your whole idea is to meditate, to get to a point where there's a connection with God. There's a connection with a higher spirit. The work that you're doing with purpose work is spirit work, you know, clear and simple.

[09:17.0]
So can, can, can I rephrase that statement? So meditation and spirit work. I would not say that. So the way we look at it, the way at least I look at it, the way I have been taught and I manifest, that is, it is a very internal work for a human.

[09:36.6]
And that God that we talk about is nothing but something inside us. Right. And it's. So what we are asking people to do through this program, I'm adding scientific frameworks, scientific data measures for people to get comfortable, to start looking within themselves.

[09:57.2]
The biggest fear for a human is to find out their own flaws. Well, I know this for a fact because look, I think I've already told you this, but my listeners know, they've heard me say this. You know, when you go to a sermon at Self, Realization Fellowship, the first thing they say is that there's, these are the scientific, scientific, that's what comes out of the mouth of the monk, practices to help you reach a higher consciousness.

[10:26.9]
It's that simple. So how you meditate, how you get there, the new vibration that you feel as a result of it. And you know, you're doing this for everybody. So across the board you've got to reach everybody.

[10:42.0]
We're not saying here that this is religious. We're not even saying this is spiritual. This is for any programmer who's listening, any person who's a computer scientist, anybody who believes in science. This is science.

[10:58.0]
Now this compass circle includes, what you've come up with is seven specific roles, you call it, from Clarity Partners to Strength Amplifiers. What's fascinating is that you're not just talking about having friends, but having people, as you said, who serve distinct functions in our growth.

[11:18.6]
Why is this so specifically important? Rather just saying surround yourself with good people. Because mastermind groups have been around forever and ever and ever, right? Since Napoleon Hill days. And people discuss mastermind groups.

[11:34.7]
Why should it be that we choose specific people? That's such a good question. Yeah. So we hear the advice all the time. Surround yourself with good people, right? But what that actually means is that when we're trying to grow, when we're trying to lead, or when we're trying to heal through something difficult or something challenging, vague support leads to weak results, right?

[12:02.7]
So when I'm stuck professionally successful but emotionally drained, right? And that was my experience, I realized it wasn't enough just to have people around you. You can Go and meet hundreds of people, either online or in person.

[12:23.3]
But is there someone that can challenge my thinking? Is there someone to remind me who I was? Right. Is there someone who can hold the space when I couldn't hold it together?

[12:41.0]
Right. That's why the compass circle includes clearly defined roles who help you see what's real. Like clarity partners. Right. Who use their own experience, like mentors, to tell you and guide you where you can go and how you can do so.

[13:00.8]
It's not that. What is the, what is the secret? Sorry for interrupting, but. No, no, that's fine. I think what listeners want to know is, okay, if I'm going to choose these seven people, let's just say it's seven, how do I find the characteristics in the individuals?

[13:17.3]
1. Because if we're going at this the scientific way, it's like, okay, I know who I need in my inner school of support here. The reality is there is something very strongly hitting me right now around me, using my intuition to actually get a feeling about the people.

[13:38.4]
But from a scientific standpoint, how would you kind of approach this? Singh and you. I want to go, I want to add one more to that. You stated in the book that one of the roles is the pillar, and that's someone who holds you when you break.

[13:56.0]
Now we've, all reached breaking points and we've all broken and sometimes we don't, as you said, authenticity. We don't share our breaks. Right. We just do them internally. Okay, so tell me how I get to these seven great people.

[14:15.0]
So, so one of the things, One of the things. No, that, that's, that's beautiful. Right. So one of the things I have done in the book, if you look at it, every chapter at the end, I have given the exact practice that I use in workshops, very specific questions related to that.

[14:33.2]
So when I talk about pillar, a, pillar isn't there to fix you. They don't rush to advice or try to cheer you up. They sit beside you when you feel broken. They hold the emotional weight with you. Right. That's a different experience that you need to have than, let's say, a clarity partner who can challenge you, who can be honest with you, who can show you who you are.

[14:59.0]
Right. The reason, the seven, the seven different relationship. Intentional. And you don't have to have seven people. You can have one person that plays many different roles. Right, Right. But, but the question is, do you have that person and do you have access to that person when you need that?

[15:19.0]
Right. I can have, I can open and I challenge this to everyone. I mean, take out your phone, look at the contacts. Once you understand the seven different people. So one thing I've done is for each one of them, I have very clearly outlined what is the emotional value of having that particular relationship.

[15:36.9]
Right. And there is five to six emotional values for each of those relationship. Not everything needs to happen all the time. That's a clarity people need to have. The idea of this book, it does not mean that. Okay, I have seven people. I'm good. No, if you have seven people, I use the word intentional relationship.

[15:57.4]
Right. Intentional relationship means that you have intention to use that relationship for that specific purpose. I'll give you a very good example. My wife is my clarity partner as well as my, support.

[16:13.0]
Right. At the same time, your soulful connection also the reason. Now if you look at clarity partner and soulful connection, they play very different role. So my engagement with that individual needs to be intentional. When I'm stuck from Clarity standpoint or when I'm doubting myself.

[16:34.3]
It's a very different conversation. So it's not only that you need to have the people, you also need to understand that what is that conversation? And that's what we have lost. You were asking this question earlier. We have lost the conversational experience with the digital explosion. Right.

[16:49.4]
And because we have lost that conversational experience with people. Right. We are limiting the vocabulary in our head. Right. Because we have limited the vocabulary in our head. The mind is always running on autopilot. Amygdala is controlling you, which is flight and fight all the time.

[17:08.4]
If, if something burns and let's say, let's say there is a fire, what is the first thing you do? You put all your resources to control the fire. Yeah. And take out the fire. So similarly in your brain, if your brain has amygdala, running 24 7, you are in fight and flight mode.

[17:27.2]
All your resources get shut down. So you see the example. We have limited our conversational experience, which has led to limited things in our head. And amygdala takes over and runs again and again and again. Right.

[17:42.8]
What we have to change is create that space for presence. And it's just four long breath that engages your frontal cortex. So having this relationship is very critical. But when, again it does not have to be in person, even virtually even on a call.

[18:01.6]
If I am a pillar for someone, I need to understand and keep check of that person, keep a tab on that person. Right. And Understand, when is that point in time that this person needs for me to sit down with him and hold the emotional weight of this person?

[18:19.1]
That is only going to happen if you are intentionally in regular communication with folks. Well, I tell people, and I was told this by somebody, they said, you know, if you want to hold your book up, circle up. If you could imagine, sitting in a movie theater, watching a movie and with your best friend sitting next to you having some popcorn, the reality is, is that circle up is about creating that strong bond relationship.

[18:51.6]
Right. So, you know, we're looking for those people that we sit in the movie theater with that we can share, we can share inner secrets with that we can share things we're holding. And I think that's part of the issue.

[19:07.6]
One of the things. And when that pandemic came around, and I'm not saying just movie theaters, but think about all the things that we stopped doing that they're basically Covid put a hold on. You know, going to the movie theater is just one of them, right?

[19:24.1]
Going to anything in the arts was just one of them. Going to watch a musical, going to see a play, going to do whatever. All of that stuff abruptly ended. Now I'm not blaming the pandemic for this because there's multiple reasons why we are where we are.

[19:41.9]
The Internet probably being one of the biggest, because it's convenient. So with social media giving us hundreds, thousands of connections, why do you think so many people still feel profoundly alone?

[19:58.4]
Our surgeon general has said we have a loneliness epidemic. It's huge. I have people coming on this show that are writing books just about the loneliness epidemic itself. And how does this approach. Now let's talk about this.

[20:14.1]
You said there's a distinction between accidental and intentional. So the key here now comes down to, okay, most of the stuff on the Internet is pretty accidental. Okay, Most of the stuff you do in person is truly intentional.

[20:33.7]
It takes more time to make it happen. So speak with us. Why you think everybody still feels this? And how does this approach that you're asking people address this paradox?

[20:50.0]
So let's start with the loneliness. And that's a real thing people don't realize. And I a simple check for you, anybody who's listening, if you think you're not lonely, answer three questions in less than a minute. If I had a near death experience in an accident, who would live everything in their life and come and see me?

[21:14.3]
Right? If I had right now every resource taken away from me, whose house could I depend to Go and crash on the couch without asking question, without judgments. Right.

[21:30.1]
And the third question is who is in your life that you would allow to do that? You would do that. Those two things for them. Yeah, right. Questions, those are great questions. So we live in a world where we can get hundreds of likes through post, but do we really feel the emotion in that?

[21:54.4]
Right. Social media has given us quantity of connection, but not quality of connection. So we know somebody had a brunch. We know what they had from brunch. We know how much they loved it that they posted. But what's breaking their heart?

[22:10.2]
Right. They're putting up this happy face, but what behind is crushing them. So we are connected but not emotionally nourished. Right. And that was the thing with Compass Circle to solve exactly that problem.

[22:29.2]
It's not about how many people are in your life, it's about who is in your corner when life gets hard. How would you define community? Our community? So look, many of us, I just did an interview with Charles Vogue Vogl, and this is my second one amazing guy who studied all the sociology behind this and how the Internet has really kind of broken connection.

[22:55.4]
And so I, for you though, I mean, because you and Charles need to get together, I'm going to make the introduction. You know, he spoke with me extensively about the fact that what I just said, you know, you can go as broad as you want and have millions of people on your like, pages and whatever.

[23:13.2]
And he said, well then who are the seven people that are going to come to your aid? And then at the end of the interview, which I thought was interesting, he says, greg, if you came to Oakland, I'd want to have you over for a barbecue in my backyard and we would talk and we would be friends.

[23:30.2]
Right. And what I'm saying is define community if you would, in your sense, from Singh's standpoint, from this compass framework. So, so let me be a little bit of a long, way to get there.

[23:45.5]
Just to explain, when I talk about community circle, people need to understand that most of us, we don't build our circle, we just inherited. What I mean by that, the co workers and the leaders that we are assigned to work, the friends from the college who keep texting, the people who happen to live nearby, and then other times, default connection that you get on LinkedIn and Facebook.

[24:11.3]
Right. And that's where the accidental relationship often meet. Accidental needs. They may be good people, but they weren't chosen to walk alongside you in your chapter of growth.

[24:28.8]
Right. And Your chapter of healing. So making the shift to intentional connection means doing something most of us have never been taught. Number one, pause and reflect. What kind of support do I actually need right now?

[24:46.1]
And for the leaders who think. And again, this is my coaching. One on one every time, every single leader and whatever what I mean by leader, if you are the person who decided that last slice of pizza, who gets in the household, congratulations, you are leader. If anybody who thinks they are not a leader, my simple question, Greg, is who is leading you?

[25:06.3]
I, I get it. I get it. Right. And at that time identify the gaps. Right. Are you sitting in an echo chamber? You need clarity, partner. Are you self doubting all the what, whatever you do, you need a soulful connection. Is there somebody who encourages?

[25:23.0]
You are CEO, owner and CEO of a company and I tell them who is challenging your thought? I know you know everything about your business. I know how you want this application to. I know everything that you're doing in your head. But who is that one person that can challenge you?

[25:41.8]
Who is that one person that encourages you when your sales dips 20% for whatever reason? Right. Who is truly listening without trying to fix you? So what's your advice when somebody says, because you said this in the book, that there's no one around me who gets it.

[26:03.8]
And so the point there is, look, I'm. Somebody's working somewhere and they feel like they don't really want to share this with the people that are even around them because they don't believe they get it. I really personally think that at that point you have to re question your own vulnerability and your willingness to be vulnerable.

[26:27.2]
But what, what practical advice for you would you have for them? Taking the first strap step toward building the circle? I mean look, this is called circle up. So you know, if I want to circle up, I can't be better than. I can't have an ego that pushes people away.

[26:46.6]
I have to be willing to open and be listen to people. And then I have to interpret and discern the advice that I'm potentially getting as a result of what I need right now. So when we do the workshop, this is, Circle up is the third step in the overall program.

[27:08.5]
The first two step really is self reflection and micro journaling. So anybody who wants to start working on this, start thinking about it and understand the seven relationship, just sit down quietly for five minutes and don't think about your work.

[27:24.7]
Just think about people. Okay? People who have served you, people who have not served you. And People you don't even know. I mean, I've, And this is, this is interesting. Right, so how about people you've served? That too. People that you have served. Right. So there's a connection there.

[27:40.4]
Where I'm getting to that is. What was the last emotional exchange that you had with, with someone? Let me, let me give an example. This is a couple of weeks back, another coaching session I was having with a couple and I asked this guy, I said, when was the last time you actually told your wife I love you?

[28:05.1]
When both of you were looking in your eyes and telling you to each other? Yeah. That's a long time ago. Right. You, you grab a cup of coffee and you're looking at your phone. I love you, baby. It does not have any emotional value.

[28:20.2]
Right, right, right, right. So when are you present in a relationship? See, no matter who you are, no matter how great you are, any relationship, again, both parties, you know, you, you have to get. I, I understand exactly where you're going.

[28:37.7]
You know the digital devices. Yes. Cause tons of distracting. I don't care if it's an iPad or an iPhone or whatever, it's distraction. And we are digitally distracted. It's. We live in a very distracted world and we think what's inside this is more important than what's outside.

[28:59.5]
Who's standing right next to us. Right. I mean, look, you, you've. You live in an area. I live in an area where I've actually seen people walk into poles. I always comment like, it's like, this is weird. How can, how can somebody be so focused?

[29:14.5]
Or I was turning a corner and a girl was. Just had her heads down. I call it downhead syndrome. Downhead syndrome. And walked right in front of my car. Right. And so, you know, these. I'm not going to blame everything on the devices.

[29:32.0]
It's on what the brain is doing. It's on the neuro plasticity, it's on the wiring and firing that we've actually continued to program in there. So we've wanted to become like machines. So we're almost robots in a certain extent to that factor.

[29:49.1]
You know, until the point they want to put chips in our brains or chips somewhere. Right. So. But besides that, I get your point. And I think you, you have a, part in the book which I think is repairing what's frayed and you provide actual scripts for reaching out after distance or hurt.

[30:13.3]
So in that loving relationship, you sometimes you say stuff and you hurt somebody. Why do most of us avoid the Repair. Okay. And what's the difference between a relationship that's frayed versus truly one that's truly over?

[30:32.3]
Because look, a lot of these relationships, you're talking about people that might be headed toward divorce. But let's even more importantly for our, business listeners, how many people in businesses avoid people in the business because it's not only frayed, it's over.

[30:51.9]
They're like, this person's done this one too many times to me. I'm not going to deal with XYZ manager anymore. Right. Yeah. So, you know, let's we, we avoid repair because it's scary. Yeah.

[31:07.7]
Right. Repairing means opening the door to discomfort, opening the door to rejection, or facing parts of ourselves that we have buried down, down. Down under. Under somewhere. Right. Most of us would rather host or distract ourselves or silently grieve and then say, can we talk about what happened?

[31:25.3]
Right. But what I have learned is avoiding the conversation doesn't erase the weight. No, it does not. Right. It just spreads it across our lives in a very quieter ways. Like regret, like resentment, low level aches.

[31:42.1]
You know, when we think of someone who used to mean something to us. Right now, freight doesn't mean broken beyond repair. It means misaligned, misunderstood, or overdue for clarity. And that's what is in these programs for humanity.

[31:58.9]
You are not. Nobody is broken beyond repair. It's just misalignment, misunderstanding and overdue clarity. I'll give you two very good example. Right. So first one, one of my client, so he hadn't spoken with his friend from college in two years after a fallout of a business deal.

[32:16.1]
And he carried the story that he betrayed me. He betrayed me. He betrayed me. But finally, when he used one of the repair scripts that I have in the book, something as simple as I, have been thinking about our last conversation and I realized we never really unpacked it. Can we talk?

[32:32.7]
That's great. That's a great one. Right. So what emerged wasn't betrayal. It was a misunderstanding which led to unspoken fear. Right. Today they are again. I mean, it's just been what, about three months now? And I keep in touch with most of my clients, that I coach.

[32:52.2]
The two of them are starting a new business in next two months. Right. Another example. Maria reached out to an older mentor with a very clear intention to connect. But when they spoke, she realized the relationship had always been one sided, which was her giving and the other taking.

[33:15.7]
So in naming that truth with calmness, you will get closure. You can only continue to pour from your cup if something is filling in your cup. Correct. Right. Love yourself. Right. So freight means there's still respect and response.

[33:33.8]
It's just buried under the noise. And what I try to do in each of the chapters with those exercises is help people. This is another pandemic, right. Not only that people are lonely. We have lost the skill of reflection. Well, any because, and I think you'd agree with us that, that you know, we can, we can enter into this dialogue.

[33:58.4]
Divide occurs as a result of us wanting to be right, of our ego telling us we're right, someone else is wrong. And in most relationships that go frayed, or actually it's over. It's, it seemingly appears most of the time that this is the reason.

[34:17.8]
Right. That person is wrong. I'm right. And I remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus talking about relationships. And he said, would you rather be right or would you rather be in love? Yeah. And I never forget that statement because the reality is, okay, you can stand on your righteous horse all you want and you can then, blow it with your relationships.

[34:43.1]
So, so here is, here is a surprising thing that I have found. So in last year and a half I've posted at least 100 people, right? From all different demography that you can think about. Sounds like it. You said you had a couple. So, one surprising fact that every listener needs to think about and clearly understand.

[35:10.8]
The word ego does not have any meaning in our brain. We have cultivated, if you look at dictionary or dictionary meaning of word ego, we have cultivated that and any fear that we don't want to discuss, we label it as ego.

[35:29.9]
Right. Think about it. But you've also heard the statement, I know you have seen because you've been around this a long time. Ego stands for edging God out. Okay. So the reality is, one of the things you said 15 minutes ago was to be able to get to a place of higher power to understand.

[35:50.2]
And I'm not asking everybody here to become a Dalai Lama or anything like that. What we're saying is if you recognize your vulnerability and you're willing to be vulnerable and you're willing to be open, you can repair almost any relationship because it's a two way street most of the time.

[36:07.9]
Right. That's why you're coaching people. And it always starts with yourself. Yeah. And, and I think we started the conversation with vulnerability. People don't need to fear vulnerability. They need to understand that it is a superhuman power because the Moment you become vulnerable, what you're saying is I am accepting my emotions.

[36:35.7]
Right. Right. I'm, I'm going to be open about it, I'm going to be transparent about it. The moment you do that, you did two things. You got rid of the fear, which stops you from doing a lot of things. And the moment you do that, you opened up, you laid down the bricks, wall that you had and now you can allow people to come in and help you.

[36:59.1]
Right. You speak in the book and I think this is a, really important point that we should bring out. And all of us have been in this more than once. Sometimes we're in it every month. But it's about, I call the people vampires in your life because they just suck it out.

[37:18.6]
Right. It's like they're coming again to drain and get more, and look, as a coach, you know, that's kind of your role, right. They're coming to you for assistance and guidance. How do you help someone distinguish between that relationship that needs patience versus one that needs what you call protective distance?

[37:43.3]
Because there's, there's distinct difference here. Right? It's like, okay, I'm going to be patient with this person and I'm going to give them my loving acceptance, kindness, support, generosity. Or you like saying no protective distance because this person literally just keeps coming back to bite on my neck and suck out my blood.

[38:04.7]
So, so two, two things to that. The one thing I always, encourage people is if you and I'll, I'll give you a trick on how to identify that. If you have identified that relationship that's draining you, it's time for that open, candid conversation with that individual.

[38:24.6]
You will be doing, favor by having that conversation for both of you. Right. When I talk about having that protective distance, that protective distance is to cure and heal you for a longer period of time.

[38:43.3]
Right. Now we all practice that, but we never intentionally do that. We are always on autopilot, so we don't do that intentionally. Now the other part of that is the very quick thing, how you can identify, you know, somebody is there to suck you or they're, you know, mutually, benefiting each other.

[39:09.6]
The very first thing that you need to do is check your emotions in your relationship. I told you this is all about conversation. I mean, you cannot have a digital life and expect things to change even if that person is on a phone all the time. Or zoom, whatever it is.

[39:26.5]
Three simple questions of setting intention and be transparent to say, hey, Greg, I think you are going to play a good role of let's pick anyone, clarity partner for me, right? And have that candid conversation.

[39:42.9]
What does it mean? What is their role? What is your role? Right? And then offer back, hey, can I be your support? Can I be your something else? If somebody is coming all the time trying to get things from you, try to understand which pillar of the seven they are depending on you, right?

[39:59.8]
And then look at the emotions associated with that. That person needs healing. And one thing I always say is, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I have to, say something. I think it. And you know, this too. Saying it depends on if they're on the learning line or the goal line.

[40:19.0]
So. So, you know, in business, many people are just on the goal line. It's like, I got to get to the next goal. So even personally, people have their own goals. They're on the goal line, but in the learning line, they're going to be open and receptive to hearing these things because they want to learn.

[40:37.2]
They want to actually make an advancement positively, right? And, you, you talk about something in this book in Part 4, about rhythms of relationship.

[40:53.0]
And look, in our busy world, we're overwhelmed. How do you maintain these rhythms without becoming another item on our endless to do list? Because, you know, it's like, hey, look, I, want to make the connection, but I just don't have time, you know, I've got so many things to do because I'm on the goal line.

[41:15.2]
So. So I switched between the goal line and actually having that meeting with the person who the rhythm of relationship should be. No, I should stop. Take notice. This person has something to say to me versus me shunning them away at a very important time, which we know happens, right?

[41:32.9]
Saying, it's like this happens every day. It is, it is such a. It is such a great question or such a great, great part of the book. And, when I was writing this, when I was writing this book, I interacted with a lot of people otherwise, also so very close friends that I know will always respond to me without judging me.

[41:53.9]
I asked 12 of them a simple question. Hey, when was the last time you just wrote a simple, text to your kids saying, I'm still proud of you? Hardly ever, right? So most of us today are maxed out, right?

[42:09.6]
There's no doubt about that. Between meetings, messages, mental load we carry. So who has more time for relationship tasks, right? So the rhythm of relationship, it's not about adding pressure and more Work. It's about shifting your presence.

[42:25.0]
Right. It's not about handwriting notes every week to share with people and show your presence. It's sending a quick voice message. Someone pops into your mind, hey, just thought that you just thought of that time we laugh together.

[42:41.4]
Grateful for you. Right? Keep me in the loop. Right? Or like I just said, I mean, just pick up the phone and just say, right. Very simple words. Thinking of you, still of you. I love you. Because I, I have two children that are in their 40s. And you know, it's, it's text, but if you leave a voicemail, you hardly ever get a response from a voicemail.

[43:03.9]
Even sometimes, no. No response from attacks. Because you can see from generation to generation what's happened is, you know, I. I'm proud to say this in July 3rd, I'm going to be 71 and I have kids in their 40s.

[43:19.0]
So the reality is it's like. But you don't hear back. And it's like this big void. And then sometimes you go, did you get the text message? Or, you know, is there anyone there? Because it's like you knock, is anyone home? And, and I hear what you're saying because I used to ride around in my car and when I was in another industry and I would just get an intuitive hit that I should call somebody and I literally would use my car drive time as what I called my intuitive time to make calls.

[43:50.2]
So I'd literally just hit the phone, I'd say, hey, Jack, I was thinking of you. And, there'd be so many times when someone would pick up and go, I was thinking about you too. Right, right. So, I mean, I think when you're on the right wavelength, what we're talking about here is making that connection with a higher spirit.

[44:08.1]
And if you're listening and you're discerning whatever you're being told and the voice is telling you, I would say, probably listen to it because make especially what you're talking about right now because you're talking about getting in rhythm with relationships.

[44:24.1]
I actually think from a distance, because I did a study on this, that people can send you messages from afar. Okay. And if you're receptive to open it up and then you pick it up and you go, hey, Singh, it's Greg.

[44:40.0]
Right? And Singh goes, oh, I was just thinking about you. So, so, one, one thing just to clarify on the rhythms of relationship where people get there, it's, it's the connection isn't about more time. Right, right.

[44:55.9]
It's about more intention in the time that you already spent. Agreed. Right. Again, I mean, simple filter. To understand relationship, just do two things.

[45:12.2]
Patience for misalignment in that moment. So if you are not getting aligned with someone in a current moment, then you need to have patience because you don't know everything going on with that person. You have your own agenda, that person has their own agenda.

[45:27.8]
You need to have patience just to get through that moment. But distance is for misalignment at the core. I couldn't agree with you more. Now look, in the book you talk about legacy letters. I thought that was really cool.

[45:45.6]
Writing letters to people who are deceased that have gone before you. And you know, it's a great way to express gratitude. Also, I, I would recommend people, if you have a tough relationship and you're trying to heal it, put a picture of that person on your desk and send loving kindness thoughts to that person and actually test over the course of a month how long it takes to change your viewpoint about who they are.

[46:18.7]
Right. I, went through a time with my son when we were going through lots of struggles and battles and I stuck a picture on my desk and it sat there for months. And I would send loving kindness messages to that. And it's amazing how it transformed. Now look, this book is for everybody.

[46:37.0]
Let's face it, everybody listening circle up is for you. He's covering, meaning he, Singh has really done an amazing job here of priv, of, of helping people, get deep with the loneliness, what causes the loneliness, how you can get out of it, how you can connect, and how moving forward with, I'm just going to call them partners, is really going to be great.

[47:01.8]
Now for someone finishing this book who feels both inspired and maybe overwhelmed by the work ahead because, you know they're going to read through the book, they're going to go, oh, wow, he's got a lot of things for me to do. You said micro journaling.

[47:17.2]
I, I, I heard that. What would you want them to remember as they take the first step toward building? And I'm going to underline this intentional circle. So first of all, welcome to the club. That's what I would tell them.

[47:32.6]
Right. And you mentioned feeling both inspired and overwhelmed. That just means you're human and you're paying attention. It's as simple as that.

[47:43.4]
So here is what I want every listener to remember. You don't need to build your entire circle today. Right. For God's sake, you're not assembling the Avengers, you're just inviting one person into a clear connection. One person into a. Just remember those words.

[47:58.7]
One person into a clear connection. Start small and ask yourself where I am needing the support most right now. And then ask yourself who already shows up in your life that you might not have fully seen that way?

[48:16.0]
Maybe, maybe your cousin, your brother, your. Somebody who always texts you before a big interview. Maybe it's your neighbor who listens without judging, right? You start naming it, and again, I get goosebumps every time I do this exercise with people. Folks, these are. This is real thing.

[48:32.0]
Well, let's. Let's face it, Singh. This is the introduction, is the book. For all those listening right now, you're going to want to pay attention to part two of this, because that's where we're going to get into the inner circle, the course.

[48:48.2]
Now, we're not saying you have to take this course. We're saying, look, the book is the introduction, right? And a lot of times, all of us need help getting there. So, again, like he said, if you're feeling overwhelmed by the work ahead, we're not dropping you off here with just the book.

[49:08.7]
We're actually providing a segue here in part two for you to learn about how you can go through a course that Singh has created, online. Okay? And in person, it's both. You can do both. You can actually have part of Singh's time and be able to meet with him and get coaching.

[49:28.8]
And in part two of this, you're going to be able to learn about that. Okay? And I don't want people to be left feeling overwhelmed because, you know, they've listened to what we've said. We've talked about a lot of psychologicals and emotional things.

[49:44.9]
When you start dealing with these things, you have to have a sounding board. I know you're all looking for sounding boards. Now you're saying, hey, Singh talked about a lot of things. I'd like to go out and find them. And you said, don't look for the Avengers all today. We're gonna help you through that in, section two of this.

[50:03.8]
Right? So, Singh, is there anything else you'd like to leave the listeners with? As you know, we kind of wrap up here on. On the Circle up book. So just one thing to remember, that no one has to do this all at once. And more importantly, you don't have to do it alone.

[50:24.2]
That's important. And again, Singh, thank you for a really great podcast interview about Circle Up. I hope everyone listening today understands as he said, more importantly, you don't have to do this alone.

[50:41.0]
But even more important than that, we're going to show you how you can do it. Okay. Because a lot of people want to know the how. Well, I know the why. I'm doing it. Why? Because I feel lonely and I feel disconnected. Right.

[50:56.6]
And now you need to know the how. And we're going to get to that. So thank you so much for a great podcast. Round your book Circle Up. You want to hold it back up again? Yeah. Thanks for reading it because the questions were very, very straight from specific things that I have tried to put through.

[51:14.7]
I hope people get the same. And which website do you want them to go for? For Circle Up? So we want to, So all my. All my information and all my programs is on singhleadership.com. okay? So just go to sing S I N G H L E A D E R s h I p.com singhleadership.com There you'll find about Work With Me, mentorship, leadership development, his speaking resources block podcast.

[51:45.7]
And obviously, once you sign up for the course, you also have book a discovery, so you can do a discovery session with Singh. But also when it gets to the point where you log in, that's when you would be actually going into the course itself.

[52:01.2]
So, saying, thanks so much for being on part one. We'll see you on part two. Thank you for having me, Greg. It was a great conversation. All right. Namaste, my friend.