Welcome back to inside personal growth. I am the host of this podcast, and joining me from Texas on the other side of that screen over there is Dianna koska, and she has a new book out, becoming more and the subtitle is, you can't get to better until you get to different. And I think that's so true. We were talking about the growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. Dianna, Good day to you. Thanks for being on inside personal growth. Hey.

Thank you so much, Greg. It's an honor to be here.

Well, you know you have a forward in this book by John Maxwell, and you just told me a story that I thought was very cute, but more importantly, it just shows what you can do when you really want to meet somebody you know, John Maxwell is probably one of the most respected authors out there on leadership, and has been around a long time, if you would. You know, for my listeners, you know to have a foreword written by John Maxwell is pretty impressive. Tell the listeners the story about how you met him and how you got him to pay attention to you.

Well, literally, I do believe in getting out of the people pile, right? He taught me that. Yet it was back about 28 years ago, Greg, I read the book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. And of course, when I read a book, I devour it when it's great, and I do the exercises, I write questions. And I had questions when I liked the book. I want to meet the author. So I heard that he was speaking in Dallas, Texas, and this was before he was well known, 28 years ago, and I went there to hear him speak. Of course, afterwards he always had signs books, and he always says, I'm John and I'm your friend. So my time came for him to sign my book, and he says, What is your name? And I put my hand over the book, and I said, Stop, look at me. You said, You're John and you're my friend, and I'm Dianna, and I will become your friend, one of your best friends. And it's Dianna with two ends, and he signed the book and kind of chuckled, and I went away. So every time I saw him thereafter, I would put my hand out and say, Dianna with two ends, remember, I'm your friend. And pretty soon I had his cell phone number. I've traveled with him and his team. I've been so blessed Greg because they've gone into countries, and he meets with presidents and prime ministers and speaks with them about putting values in the school, just like a math class. It's it's in the Constitution, or he won't take the values into the country. Now they've been in many countries. I've been to 10 different countries with him, and watching him with the presidents and the prime ministers, and actually having Parliament vote to put values in the schools. And now they're bringing it to the US, which I'm very excited about because, after all, in Guatemala, after 10 years, do you know, the crime rate has has gone down over 10% since they brought values to the schools, the gangs have gone down. More importantly, though they're bringing values to the businesses. They have round tables where people sit and they discuss the values week after week, and they actually run the classes the kids do. So they learn values, they implement values, and then they lead with values. And so I'm proud to say I am a friend of John Maxwell's, and of course, many people know him now, all around the world, and I've watched him grow. He definitely has a growth mindset. He doesn't rest. He's always reinventing himself, right? And

he's not a young man anymore, either. So you know, so you know your book that I just held up becoming more with the forward. By John Maxwell, you know, you've got this subtitle in the book. You know you can't get to better until you get to different. Why do you believe and embrace that difference is essential for personal growth and transformation? Now it just shows. A great example was you put your hand down over the book The you said you have to get out of the pile of people by you stepping up and being a little assertive, right? Which is which good? That's what got his attention so I can get who you are already you have real estate background. You've had to do that. So explain to the listeners, what do you think it is, or how they could change to be a little more confident, maybe assertive, so that they could move out and transform their lives.

You know, it's a great question. Number one, Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And I think Greg so many people actually, they live life like on a treadmill and expect it to take them somewhere. They have this dream of wanting more, of becoming more, of doing more, having more, and whether it be in relationships or income, whatever it is, it's about having a better life. And if you keep doing the same thing, it's never going to change. In fact, you're going to go backwards, because the world is moving forward. Different is where you embrace something and say, I don't like this the way that it's happening. And instead of blaming other people, we look in the mirror and we say, What can I do to change a perfect example is blockbuster. They went bankrupt. Why? When Netflix came to them and said, bias for 50 million and they were making for over $400 million it wasn't like they couldn't afford it. They said, Oh no, we don't want to do that. And they said, Absolutely not. Well, the person that started Netflix, there's a story out there. I don't know if it's true or not. It's a fun story, though. He had a late fee with blockbuster, and he it was $40 and he went in to negotiate, and they go, Huh, we're not going to negotiate. After all, they were making over $816 million in late fees at the time. And he went home and he started this little company, Netflix. Then he went to them and said, Hey, do you want to buy Netflix? Because I think this is where the world is going. Five CEOs kept saying, No, well, Netflix last, oh, in the year 2023, I think, made something like $33 billion big mistake. They were,

you know, it was interesting. You're using this example, and not to interrupt, but I happened to be at a conference just two weeks ago where the CEO of blockbuster, and then he was the CEO of 711 was there, and he talked about the same story, and he said the and he wasn't the one that was involved with blockbuster when they were trying to make the decision. But what he did say is that the margins on what was happening with Netflix were not there to pay. I think he said $90 million or something is what they were they were asking for. So again, you know, I just know, like you're saying, you have to look at your opportunities, what's in front of you, and how you can transform. And you know, we're living in such a fast paced world right now, and I think we're all kind of looking at AI. We're looking at all these various things that are moving so fast. It's even in real estate everywhere, everywhere you see it, it's there. Now in this manuscript, you shared powerful stories, family stories, particularly about your siblings, Larry and Patsy. What did their struggles inspire your understanding of personal growth and resilience? How did those stories do that? You know,

Greg both Larry and Patsy had brain tumors, and that's what started me in in studying this thing called our brain. I mean, it's one of the most mysterious things in the world, I think like, how does it work? Why does our conscious mind think in questions than our subconscious mind think in stories? What is the blocker that fear that blocks us from moving forward? I wanted to know all these things because my brother had to learn how to walk and talk four different times in his life, and as I watched both of them, I learned that we go through a cycle of life over and over again. I call it the adaptive learning model. It was where you learn, you implement you fail, and you learn a new way. You implement that you fail, you learn a new way, and when I talk about fail, I mean, there's always a better way that we're looking for. Yeah. Well,

the thing is, you're an NLP certified trainer. Yeah, right. So for those of you who don't know, and I don't think there's many of my listeners that don't know, neuro linguistics, programming, right? Been out there and Bandler, and who is the other person that started it, but you are certified, and that's why you study the brain, and that's why you're so focused, I would think on the subconscious and how we actually can rewire and refire that, because you can create amazing things in your life by reprogramming your subconscious. And you know, you talk about shifting from a human being to a human becoming. Could you explain this idea and why the shift in mindset matters for somebody seeking meaningful change in their life. It's like, I love what you say here, human becoming, because we're always evolving. It's not we don't stop and stagnate, as you just said. We're always growing, but we're learning from column failures, column mistakes. Call them whatever you want to call them. It's like, are you on the learning line? Right? And that's the line that I see Dianna is on.

Yeah, I think we often get stuck in who we are being. It's called Habits, right? And some of those habits, they don't really serve us. And when we think about becoming. Have we actually written down who we want to become? I mean, I know this is a little creepy, yet in my book, I say, write your eulogy and then read that eulogy and say, am I living my life that way to become that person that they would say those things about and then reduce it down. Mine actually came out with she made a difference by adding value every day to others. And so at 7am my phone goes off and it says, What will you do today to add value to others? 7pm it goes off and it says, What did you do today to add value to others. And so it's a quest for me to become a person that is known for adding value and making a difference. So I'm going to challenge the people listening or watching this and say, what is it that you want to be known for? And are you living your life that way? Are you becoming the person, not every not once a day, every day, right? Because the day that I don't add value to someone, well, my adding value card is revoked. I don't have it anymore. So every day, we have to work of becoming that person, a better version of ourselves, to obtain the things that we want to be known for.

Well, you certainly have a very direct way of putting it. I love how you speak Dianna and you know you say, there what role does mindset? We were just talking about mindset, the the actual growth mindset or the fixed mindset, and you call it becoming more model. How can someone practically shift from this limiting mindset, or what we would call a fixed mindset, to a liberating one, which would be a growth mindset. I remember Guy Kawasaki, was just on here, not that long about it, but his book about remarkable and he took up ice hockey at 44 and surfing at 60. And the reality is, you know, most people who have a fixed mindset aren't going to take up surfing at 60 or ice hockey at 44 you have to be somebody who really wants to grow, whether it's through a new sport or reading more books or starting a charity or helping people however you can, what would you have to say about getting out of this limiting mindset to a liberating

one? Well, you know, and mindset is such an interesting word. A lot of people think it's attitude and mindset are the same, and they're totally different, because our attitude lives in our conscious mind and our mindset lives in our subconscious mind. And I actually have an assessment that's coming out April 30, where you can take the assessment and learn what type of mindset do you have in your subconscious mind? And there's over 150 that I read about in neuroscience books. GREG I limited it down to seven that liberate us and seven that limit us. And of course, Carol dwick made the fixed and the growth mindset very popular with her book called Mindset, and she did a fabulous job, one book on two mindsets, where I'm talking about seven and the combination. Those combinations determine the words that we use, the characteristics that we have. It also depends on our growth. So let's take fixed and growth number one, if when you have children, let me tell you, too many people are putting their kids in a fixed mindset. Here's an example. They get an A on a math test. Oh, my goodness, I know that you were going to get an A. You're fabulous at math. You are so good at math, you are better than anybody I know in math. Well, what did they just say? You're either good or bad in math that puts in a fixed mindset versus, oh, you got an A in math. Oh, my goodness, the effort you put forward. Man, that is fabulous, because you put that effort forward in whatever you want to do in life, and you will be a success. So one, they're complimenting effort. Effort doesn't go away. Effort you can put in more effort or less effort. It's not fixed. Whereas you're good at math, that's fixed. So number one, we train our kids. Number two, what do we do? How do we recognize fixed mindsets? Fixed mindsets? Well, they use a lot of numbers. They believe that you can only be so good, you can advance so far, and they hold themselves back. Growth is always about doing something new, like John Maxwell reinventing himself all the time. What are we willing to do to get outside of our comfort zone, into that uncomfortable zone? Because that's a growth mindset. Find something drive a different way to work tomorrow that will help you start going into a growth mindset. Think about things a little bit differently, ask more questions, and you'll start training your brain to a growth mindset versus a fixed

very well said. Dianna. Now for my listeners, this assessment will be most likely at our website, and I want to state her website so you guys can get there. It's Dianna, and she said it now a couple times with two n's, D I, a, n, n, a, koska, K, O, K O, S, Z, K, A,

So Dianna, you know, we've talked about a lot from being a human being to a human becoming, becoming a more model, and this is all around adaptive learning, learning, implementing, failing, correcting, and then relearning. And you've already said that, because that's the way we're on the growth line. Could you share a personal example how this adaptive learning profoundly impacted your own life?

Yeah, I really appreciate that question, because when I was introduced to it, it was with my brother. He came home from the hospital. Now this was back in the day when Yale had just started their neuroscience department. I mean, no one knew that much about the brain, and of course, with this brain tumor, they removed it, and they kept him at the hospital, no physical therapy or anything, and they did all they could. They sent him home, mom and dad, in their infinite wisdom, they literally bought a tape recorder, which many listeners don't even know what that is today, yet, I would say a word. He would say the word. We'd rewind and play it back for him. I would say it again. He would say it again. And painstakingly, we would go through it over and over again until he got the word right. And eventually he started reading children's books right into the tape recorder, one of them was the little engine that could. And when I heard that, I think I can, I think I can. I think I can. I went, is that really true, or is that just a fairy tale, like all the other ones, like Cinderella and all of those? And I started finding it was true that we had a lot to do with our outcome of our life based upon our thoughts. And so Larry and I would talk about our thoughts, and we would say like I am instead of I will. And we were very selective on the words and that adaptive learning model we used over and over again, just like with him, walking. Take a step, sit down. Take a step, sit down because they told him he would never walk again. Yet, four times he got up out of the wheelchair and walked, not all at once. Obviously he had to work at it. My sister the same way she would lose a thought and we would play charades until we figured out what she was saying. Yet both of them kept going. Why? Because we kept putting hope in front of them. Hope is such a fabulous thing. I don't use that word often, like, I hope you're doing well. I always say I trust you're doing well, because I love that faith and trust yet to give people hope, to say, Yes, I believe in you. I know that you can. And you know Greg, I think that as leaders, we're here to take a stand for people's greatness more than they take a stand for their limitations, because their brain wants to limit them. Our brain is one of the biggest liars there is in the world. It tells us things that aren't true, like we're not good enough, we're not capable, we can't do this. Oh, don't take that chance. Don't take that risk. It literally tells us a lot of lies. Our body doesn't lie to us. It tells us when we're hungry and we eat, and it tells us when we want to go to bed and we sleep, and it tells us when we have to go to the restroom, we don't go there. And it goes, ha, ha, ha. I was just joking, you know? I mean, it tells us the truth we've got to watch our brain. And that adaptive learning model helps us to become more intentional in our life, and when we have intentionality about who we're going to be, our world opens up. I think that in every story, every one of us have a story, and there's a victim, there's a villain, and there's a hero, and believe me, I played all three of those parts in my life, but the victim wants us to believe that when you have what somebody has, you can do what they do, and then you can be just like them. And the villain says, Oh no, no, no, you just have to do more, and by doing it over and over and over again, well then you can have what other people have, and you can be like other people, yet the true hero. And when we decide to be the hero of our own life, we realize that it's who we're being that allows us to do certain things, and when we do certain things, then we can have what we desire to have, and, more importantly, eventually be able to give back, because there's a point in our life, we want to go from success to significance, and that's a point in life that

changes, that I love that part that you say about living in a world of making stuff up. Because I really believe that we live in a world we make up the story, and then we begin to believe the story that we tell ourselves. And always, I always go back to an interview that I did with Byron Katie, and she used to say to people when she'd get them on the stage, and you know, is it true? Is it really true? So it is just an example. Is somebody who was having a bad relationship bring the woman up? Let's just call it the woman versus the man. At this point, she goes, Oh, he's such a jerk. Yeah, he's just, he's just bad blah, blah, blah. And then she'd say, well, is that really true? And then she just wait, and then the woman would say, Well, maybe not so bad, but he, you know, and she'd continue to kind of drive down, you know, is this a truth? And I think that's the most important thing. Is it the big T or the little T, right? What is the truth that you're telling yourself? And I think we do that a lot, and I want to segue into you describe the importance of visualizing a new story? Yeah, look, if we've been telling ourselves all these old stories and we think they're true and they're not really true, then what's the new one? So why is visualization crucial, and how can someone get better at clearly visualizing the life they want to create? Because, you know the reality is, is, is, this is not the easiest thing to do.

No, it's it's not. You have to be intentional. And I think that the number one thing the brain cannot accomplish, what it can't see. So two things come to mind. Number one, the reticular activating system of our brain, which is in the base of our brain, and it's kind of like our Google search engine. We type into the computer what we desire in Google, it doesn't show us everything on the World Wide Web. It only shows us what we ask for. Well, that's our reticular activating system. It only shows us what's important to us. So for example, I buy a brand new car, I drive off the lot, and all of a sudden I start seeing that car everywhere. Think I started a trend that everybody loves that car. Why didn't I see it before they were out there driving it? It was like because it wasn't important. The eyes can only see and the ears can only hear what the brain tells it to so that reticular activating system is so important. And then we look at great leaders like Martin Luther King, I have a dream. He saw that dream. He couldn't he couldn't really see it out in the world. He couldn't touch it. He couldn't feel it. He couldn't taste it. He literally had it so deep in his heart and so deep in his mind, it was like it was already coming to fruition before it actually happened. The same with many other great leaders, they have it so vividly imagined in their mind, and they speak in such a way like Mother Teresa, she said, No, I'm against war. And they go, Oh, come and march in our anti war demonstration. And she goes, No, I will march in a peace demonstration. I will not march in an anti war demonstration, because you're still focused on the war. So what is it? How are we living our life, and what are we putting in our mind? You talked about authors, and I love Kiyosaki, his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad. What was the difference? It was all in the way they thought, in the way that they visualized their life, in the story that they told about their life. You just brought up about a guy's a jerk, that's a story. Is it true? Is it 100% true? Where would you be if you didn't think he was a jerk? How would your relationship be if you called him something other than a jerk. Those are the things like, when did we first start feeling that we didn't feel it when we first married him, for heaven's sakes. So what was it that we started feeding ourselves the fact that that gentleman is a jerk? When did we start making up the story? Because he didn't make it up. We made it up, right? So what stories are we feeding ourselves? What and then the visualization? What stories are we visualizing? Because that's the direction our life is going to take. What we focus on expands.

Well, you know, in your book, and I want to get to this because I think you have a great story to tell us is you highlight the dangers of comfort and stagnation. And we think frequently comfort and stagnation, it will come from fear. Now fear has the acronym, false expectation Appearing Real. I've been to enough of Zig Ziglar meetings. It's not your aptitude that determines your altitude, it's your attitude. The point is is, how can you advise someone now who feels stuck? Because usually being stuck is a big fear, okay, there's a fear there somewhere to take the first meaningful step towards a positive change?

This is such a great question, and there's some people that think fear stands for Forget everything and run. We got to not do that one when we think about our lives, we all live in a prison. I call it a cage, and this cage is made up of our thoughts or the bars, and inside that cage is our comfort zone, and everything we desire in life is outside our comfort zone, and we have uphill goals with downhill habits, as John Maxwell taught me, and so we have to start thinking differently to get out of that cage. So you brought up fear. Yes, it's a big thing, and it holds us back. We're afraid we want to look good and be right when we're willing to give up looking good and being right. Our whole world changes because we're willing to go outside the comfort zone. I want to tell you a story real quick, because it's about prisoners that were in the prisons for 20 years. Do you know most of them end up going back in when they're set free? And they call it

the recidivism rate. Recidivism rate is what you're talking about, yes,

and they call it the 612, six syndrome. It's because they have breakfast at six, lunch at 12, dinner at six, and day after day 612, six, and they get so fixed in their mind, and those neural pathways become so strong that it's the only thing that they know and that they can count on that comfortable zone of 612, six. Well, now when you go outside, I mean, let's face it, the comfortable zone is the past. Everybody already knows what's happened in the past, so they're comfortable there, and they keep recreating it because it's comfortable. What's out there in the future, we don't know. It's scary, and fear does step in. And so these people, they're set free into the unknown world. They desire. The brain wants the comfort. It wants the routine. So whatever we desire to do, the minute we step outside our comfort zone, our brain is going to go, Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you haven't done this before. Let's get back into the routine, just like when I said, drive a different way to work. Oh, your brain will be fighting you the entire way, because the way you drive is the comfortable way to work. And so just even doing that little thing will teach us how uncomfortable it is. I do a thing in a program, and it's where I have people read words like red, blue, green, and those words are in the color, red is red, and blue is blue, and green is green. And they can do this in about six seconds. One person did it in four they went through it's 25 different words. Then I say, Okay, now instead of saying red, it's in blue. We're going to say the color, not the word. So instead of saying red, you have to say blue, because it's in the color blue. Do you know that takes them about 24 seconds, because their brain is so used to that routine, to get out of that routine. And when I say how uncomfortable was that they I mean, it's amazing what they say back. I like, I couldn't believe it. It was like my brain was fighting me the whole time with just that little tiny bit of discomfort. So when people start new year's resolutions, what happens two weeks later? They don't do it. Yeah, yeah. And so

that's a good, it's a good way to actually explain that. And I think that, you know, we're talking about fears, and fears come from how we've kind of programmed, as, you know, as neuro linguistic, somebody who has a certification in training it. You know, those fears are deep seated from frequently stories in the past, places we've been and we haven't been able to we we haven't been willing to dig them up and deal with them right, how to change them, what we can do to change them. And you know, you speak about in the book, the strong emphasis in the book and the power of words we speak, because those words are programming that subconscious. So whether you're listening to an affirmation that you do for yourself, I have a great story that I tell all the time, and I'm going to tell it real quick before I ever go in to get any kind of surgery. I just had a orthoscopic surgery on my knee. I go to my hypnotherapist, who was a regular MD emergency room MD for years, and when I come out of the surgeries, the nurses or doctors always say you didn't have hardly any blood No, you didn't have any blood loss. Because we work on that in the subconscious, we literally reprogram the clean, fast healing. You know, we're talking to ourselves and telling ourselves, and I'll tell people that this really works. If you take a set of affirmations before any kind of event that you're going to whether it's a surgery or it's a speaking event or whatever, and you visualize in your mind through the power of those words, it's going to come out. So I want you to share why words are so powerful and how listeners can become more intentional with that language, because I have had amazing results when it comes to surgeries.

You know, Greg, I love that you shared that story, and I so believe in the power of words, because they do predict our future. And when we use the words I am, those are the two most powerful words to me in the English language. What do we say after I am? Generally, people say something negative, which is sad, because they're programming their mind. Here's how it works. Let's say that you and I live next door to each other, and you decided to come over and visit, and you walked across the grass rather than to go out the sidewalk, across the road and back down my sidewalk one time, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Over and over again, though eventually the grass would go away and a rut would form. That's what happens in our mind. As we say things, we're programming our mind, and we're making that that action that our thought travels along a pathway that is so much like a rut that there's no other way that the brain can have it go, even though it could. We've trained our brain to think that way. Now. What happens when we stop taking that trail and we start going sidewalk, the street and back up the sidewalk, the grass grows back, and that's the greatest thing. See, Neuroscience tells us nerve cells that fire together wire together, and nerve cells that no longer fire together no longer wire together. So let me give you an example. Being a coach and growing a large coaching company for years, it was very interesting to listen to people's words intently. And there was a lady that every week goes, Oh, I'm so devastated. Oh, I'm so depressed about this and depressed about that. And I finally went, Wait, stop. We're not going to use that word anymore. We're gonna use. I'm working through it. This happened, and I'm working through it. It was amazing. What happened to her business and what happened to her life. Another thing she would say is, I'm so frustrated. I'm frustrated about this, I'm frustrated about that, and I go, No, no, no, no, we're going to use I'm fascinated, because see, frustration actually shuts the brain down. It clamps hold of that problem that we have and focuses on that problem so much that people think they're getting rid of the problem. Well, if we're focused on the problem, we're still focused on the problem, even when we say, Oh, we're looking for a solution. Let's bring in to create something and focus on what we desire to create. And that's fascination. Fascination. Well, if I was to create what I desired, what would it look like? Who would I have to become to do that? And what would I have to do now, it takes on a whole different meeting. Because solving a problem, we work to make something go away. Creating we bring something into existence, and our brain works differently on both of those.

You say it so well, I love the part about the rut across the lawn, because you know, to get yourself out of that rut, you have to change those neural pathways, how they fire and how they wire. That will take you there. Now you give the readers in your book, you provide them with, and I love this, and I'm going to show the book here to the readers. Again, you provide the readers with a to become list. How does creating this type of list differ from traditional goal setting, and why is it so important and impactful for lasting change. Because, you know, you said it 10 minutes ago, people set a goal. They want to go to the gym, they want to work out, and then, you know, a month into the new year, by February, they're not going to the gym. They're not doing their thing. And I think it's really important, because if you have a secret here, the to become list. The listeners are going to want to know that.

Well, it's very interesting, because we all have a to do list, or most people do, and they love to check it off. Yet very few people have a to become list. Who do I desire to become? Have we written down the 100 things that we have a bucket list of 100 things that we desire to do? Well, we have to become a person that can do those things. And so when we start writing down, who is it that I desire to become? Maybe it's I desire to become influential. Well then what do I have to do and work on myself to be able to say I'm influential and whatever it is, there's no right or wrong, yet, we have to get to the why. When we make this to do or to be list, and we look at that, we say, here's who I desire to be, then why? What will that do for us? And why is that important to us? And now we start bringing up the passion. Because when we put a goal with a passion or an emotion, that's when the goal takes hold. Most people write down goals, who I desire to be this person, but there's no passion behind it. There's no reason why they desire to be that. And we write down two or three emotions that we get inside of ourselves when we say, when I become the person that's influential, what will I feel like? What emotions will I have? Oh, I'll be passionate to help other people. I'll feel confident. I'll have the energy of joy. You know, all these things now we're really going to work on something. We got to bring emotion in to light up the amygdala in our brain, because until it's lit up, nothing's going to happen, and it only lights up because logic makes us think and emotion makes us act. So I don't care if it's a to become list or a goal list, you gotta put emotions with it.

Well, you talked about that to do list, and I, I wrote a book that's called hacking the gap, a journey from intuition to innovation and beyond. And one of the things that I talk about in that book is the doing being conundrum. The conundrum is, you know, we've been taught that we need to do, do, do, do, do, right, so that we can become. You don't always have to do all that doing to become when your mindset shifts to I am, I already am. I'm not less than there isn't anything else that I need to do. I'm okay with me. My ego is saying I'm not enough. No, that's true. I am enough just the way I am, and I think that comes from a faith of, I'm just going to say, a faith in a higher power, a faith in God, a faith in the ability to tap into that power. Whoops,

you're saying we just lost it again. Oh, boy,

we lost it again. Wow. No, it's Ken. Let's see, are we getting it

back? Okay, we're getting that, but we're not getting the camera. Oh, boy, I love what you're saying too. It's faith in a higher power. Is where you stop. Yeah, and I'm hanging on every word too. Okay, okay, I'm gonna turn it off for just a minute and then turn it back on. That's what helped last time. Yeah, did we get it back?

Yeah? Or pull the plug. Pull the plug there. Now we have the the There we go. All right, yeah. What's happening?

I think this plug is not connecting correctly, or something. I'm so I feel so bad. It's a brand new camera too.

We'll try, and we'll, we'll do our best to fix it. It's our higher power, yes, yes. And I think Dianna, when you have that higher power. And I think what the listener to like to know, and kind of wrapping up this interview is what was the most surprising or insightful thing you learned about yourself during writing becoming more and how has this shaped who you're now becoming, because I sense that you're always moving. I see Dianna does not sit still. That's not the kind of person you are, and your mind is always working. So what would you say happened during this journey of writing the book? And then what do you think it's done for you to continue to become more of who you are?

I so appreciate that question. You know, I speak and writing is different. In speaking, I feel the energy of the audience. I can see if they're buying in they're moving. I just I can change on a dime, you know, and go in a different direction, whereas in a book, well, you can't change. It has to be precise. Every word matters. And so in writing this book, I wanted to write it in a simplistic way that high school kids would get a lot out of it. I also wanted it to be so intense that an adult would sit there and go, I don't care that I'm 80 years old, I can still become more and a lot of it is about energy and as I would, and I'm a person of faith. So I would pray before I would write, and I would think about, what is it that I could do to help somebody have those four energies of success that I call confidence, their purpose, their have a grateful mindset that they're in the present moment. And I found that I had to have those energies, because everything in the world is made up of energy. I learned that in my physics classes and by working in the physics lab and so to sit and have the confidence that what I was writing was going to help someone to be on purpose with every word, that's what I learned, that every word counted to be in the present moment, like I was sitting talking to someone, and to always have gratitude. And I wrote a lot of it. I rewrote and rewrote and rewrote again until it really made sense, and I would read it to my granddaughter and to my grandkids, and they would say, Yeah, I like it that way. And I'd go, then that's the way it will be. And so I learned that the right language captures attention, and frankly, every word that we use does matter. And so at the ending, I'd really like to have people watch their words, especially the words they use around and to their children, to their spouses, to people that they desire to have a relationship with, because just like the wake on a boat, we don't realize sometimes how our words leave Awake, awake that is so large that people sometimes never get over and they live it from the time they were eight years old, they heard something. There was a lady I coached her mother told her when she was about four, as she recalls four or five, that her mother went, ooh, stop that singing. It's hurting my head. And she said, You know what? I didn't sing. And then she said, I moved to another school, and I was so excited because I joined the choir, and the choir director said, why don't you just mouth the words right now? And so I mouth the words, and she said, Here I am, and I'm 50 some years old. And even in church, every week, I mouth the words I can't sing. And I go, No, you can sing. Sing. Mary Had a Little Lamb for me, and she sang. And I said, I think that was beautiful. And I recorded it and played it back for and the next day, I was telling John we were in a mastermind. And I was telling John about this. I said, she really can sing. Do you mind if, if I ask her to sing in front of everybody today and tell the story? So she told the story, and I said, Why don't you stand up and sing? Well, everybody gave her a standing ovation. She called me about a week later, and she said, You know what I did today? I actually sang in church today. I let it come out. And she said, I felt good. Instead of letting my light be put under that Bucha basket and shrinking, she said, I literally was able to let my light shine, and that's what I hope for everybody, because literally, that's what we deserve. And it doesn't matter what someone said to us, it doesn't matter what our past is. We can't change it. Yet, we can go forward and change the future, and that's what CS Lewis taught us. You can't change the past, but you can change it from here going forward.

As my little mother used to say, yesterday's a canceled check, tomorrow's a promissory note. The only thing you have is today, so make the best of today. And Dianna, thank you for that story. That was a great story. Believe in yourself, believe in the powers that are greater than you to help guide you and serve you. Blessings to you. Dianna, thanks for being on for all my listeners, we're going to put links in the YouTube to all of places where you can reach her on social media. It's been a pleasure having you on for all my listeners, here's the book again, becoming more and it's by Dianna kokoska, and please go out and get a copy of that. We'll put a link to Amazon to it as well. Dianna, thank

you. Thank you. What an opportunity. Thank you, Greg.