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Welcome to Inside Personal Growth podcast. Deep dive with us as we unlock the secrets to personal development, empowering you to thrive here. Growth isn't just a goal, it's a journey. Tune in, transform, and take your life to the next level by listening to just one of our podcasts.

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Well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voice and the host of Inside Personal Growth. And on the other side of the screen there, for all of you watching through YouTube, which is probably most of my listeners, but there's many of you who are on Spotify and itunes and Audible and all those other places, is John Chappelear.

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And John, good day to you. You're joining us and you were telling us how hot and humid it is in Florida. Yes. As you know, if, if the politics weren't enough, we also have all the heat and humidity too, so we get to deal with it all.

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Well, trifecta. The trifecta of summer Julia in Florida. Well, he's got a website. I want to let all my listeners know that it's just johnchapelier.com and that's.com and that's spelled C-H a P P E L E A R C H A P P E L E A r dot com.

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That's where you can learn more about him. And we're going to be talking about his book called the Daily Six.

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I'm, gonna let the listeners know a tad bit about you, John, and then we'll get into the juiciness of the book and how people can use. They can also go to your free resources at this website, download a chapter.

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They also can get a, the course and you will get access to both of those if you just go to john chapelleer.com. so John and I had a great pre interview everybody. And he's an organizational consultant, author and professional keynote speaker with over 30 years of experience as an entrepreneur.

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John's, book, the Daily Six, which we're going to be talking about here, is helps both individuals and organizations become healthier and more productive. And I actually, was referred by another author to have Todd on the show.

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And that's Todd. And it says this book won the best book award from USA Book News. John's unique perspective comes from a realized sense of gratitude for all life's gifts. Even the Gifts of devastation.

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And in 1979, John and I talked about this. Previously founded this Stationary Inc. Offering office supplies opening in Washington D.C. and in 86, Corporate Interior LLC was founded. Offers interior design and office furniture.

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Together these businesses grew to a staff of from 2 to 250 and sales in excess of $50 million. So he is, really quite an interesting man and has an interesting story, but I'm going to let him tell that, because I think that is, the best part about this.

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And one of the things you said in your book was describe yourself as a recovering big shot. That's quite a phrase. Can you take us back to the moment when you realized that despite building a multimillion dollar empire, something fundamentally was really kind of missing from your life?

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And you can also tell the story too. Well, I don't. It's not a long story, but, there was an exact moment where I realized that my life was not over because that was that gift of devastation.

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With 1991, 92 banks were required to take all their inflated valued inventory off the real estate inventory off their books. And then they still were trying to show profitability. And the only way they could create profitability was to start calling in loans.

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And this is that sort of The thing I still use, which is a Donald Trump expression, which was he had no assets and a ton of debt and the banks couldn't help, couldn't hurt him. I, on the other hand, had about five times more assets than I had debt.

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So the bank came in and took my assets and sold them for debt. And I still think what I should have done was run up more debt. Run up more debt. They would have left me alone. But, yeah, they, you know, it's just, I mean, I've had so many experiences in business, you know, running companies directly for about 30 years and then just being in business for me or for other clients for, I don't know, it's getting scary now.

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Probably 55 years. 50 years. And, but nothing from a people standpoint. Everything has changed except from a people standpoint. The people still want to feel valued, they want to feel important, they want to feel connected. They want to feel as if me as the owner considers their success an important part of my thought processes on a daily basis.

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And when they feel like that, they change. And so what happened to me? But you kind of looked at this, John, just as a dialogue here. You looked at this as a gift of devastation. That's what you call this yes, it is. And that's, that's a really powerful reframe because a lot of people would get angry, they'd get upset, they'd want to retaliate.

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And you had the sense enough to know you needed to move on, you needed to get over it. Obviously, I'm sure there was anger, there was frustration, there was, you know, why'd the bank do this with me? But some people get stuck there. And what I want to talk about is how did you get unstuck, and shift your perspective so drastically and made this a turning point because that's the true sign of not only a good business person, but somebody that has a lot of emotional intelligence.

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Yeah, well, trust me, there was a lot of angst in the year leading up to this. You know, in attempting to sell the company or intending. I had investors and all sorts of things that would have. In normal times, the company would have just sailed right through the whole process.

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The bank just continued, continued to turn down the buyers. They continued to turn down the investors because they didn't really care. They just wanted their money because that was what they needed. They didn't need my business in business. They needed my money into their bank to keep, to raise their balance sheets up. So there was a lot of angst, there was a lot of late nights, there was a lot of trying to find a buyer kind of thing.

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And eventually, you know, I, the book, the phrase in the book is it looked like the middle America mafia came broke to my parking lot in about 10 Aries cake cars, you know, and everybody got out. Little plump, you know, three button suits came in and just took keys and sat down and started liquidating assets.

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I mean, it was not a real, elaborate system. It was horribly fraught with waste. But you know, a friend of mine said, do you know what they're going to do? Right? And I said, well, no, I don't. He said, well, I said, because I've got like $6 million worth of assets.

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I only got $2 million worth of debt. So I figured they'll sell the assets until they pay $2 million and send me on my way to and give you your $4 million. $4 million. He said, oh, no, no, no. They're going to sell your $6 million for $2 million and then they're walk away and you were going to have nothing, you know, so.

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And that's exactly what happened. And excuse me. January of 1991, this was the morning after the Super Bowl. At least Washington won that day. So I was kind of good. It was just horrific.

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So basically, you know, as far as I was concerned, my life was over. Everything I had, everything I had treasured all this time, it was gone. You know, all the, well, you, you'd worked really hard for it. And I know we, we talked about it and, and how this all came about and the fact that you had what would call owner's equity, right, and it got, and it got liquidated for what we would call book value, right, was just like, hey, here I had, I had equity.

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I was hoping I'd get something. I got nothing out of this. How did you move on? Because at that point, that was a big turning point. And you had another big thing happen in your life too. You've had a lot of them, but in your years.

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But let's talk about one that actually was just like this one, but probably even more devastating and that was you missed your own wedding anniversary party in 1989, 82.

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And it seemed like a pivotal moment that cost your marriage, relationship, your daughters, looking back, what was driving the everything all the time right now mentality that consumed you? Because, Today is my 47th wedding anniversary today as we speak.

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And I don't think that would be one I would want to miss. You have to work a little harder at staying the big bed. It's, yeah, I missed that. I mean it was. What, you know, the reason why. I have no idea, no idea why.

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It was very important at the time though. Very, very important. Just like I've got a 52 year old daughter who still tells me about missing back to school nights in an elementary school. So hey, you know, kids, hang on to this stuff for a while. She loves me like crazy and texts me all the time, but every once in a while, hey dad, you know, you remember that when you did.

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Because it was just, I mean, and that's the thing, the turning point that you asked about was my focus from 1970 probably until 1991 was me. You know, I need, you know, it's, I need to get my career straight.

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I need to get my feet on the ground and get everything set up just right. I need to make sure that I have the right business on the right market, share and the right profitability and then I can go back here and pay attention to my family. You know, the one I put on a back burner about 10 years ago. And they'll be back there waiting for me.

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So when everything out here gets all fixed up I'll go back there and pick them up and they'll be so happy and excited to see me. Which was totally baloney because they were not happy. My wife was gone, my kids couldn't stand me. So, you know, it's like, as all it wait, they won't wait forever.

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You know what I mean? It's like somebody wrote something on Instagram. I was reading it like he had a picture of his wife and he went through a divorce and he said all those cuddle moments. It's like they won't wait forever. They're not going to wait. It's not going to be six years old for six years.

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It's just, yeah, you know, you had this wake up call. Now let's talk about your book because. Right. This book actually dives into six things that you'd like people to understand that they could do.

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And you've distilled life balance into six concepts, that you literally have put out. And that's. We're going to encourage the listeners to go get a free, book. Just go or download the first chapter anyway.

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So let's start with the first one. Willingness. Why does willingness come first and what does true willingness look like for someone who's been conditioned to control everything? It looks like a very uncomfortable place to be.

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That's how willing this looks. I mean, but because it is. This is my willingness bracelet that I've been wearing a version of this for probably 10 or 12 years. I got bracelets for all the components of the daily six. But willingness, I wear all the time.

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Because willingness, if you're not willing to try or willing to find a new teacher or willing to try some new lessons, it's kind of like you can't get here with what's in here. You need something new in here to give you a new path and to a new reality.

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And so that's the difference between letting go and moving forward and staying in the negative issues. I have a friend of mine whose father, had a car dealership in the 50s or 60s and went bankrupt. And he never got off the sofa for the rest of his life.

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I mean, it was another 20 years. He basically just sat on the sofa and watched television all day and never got over the depression, never got over the sadness. And if that's why I call it a gift of devastation, because that devastation forced me forward because I have kids in colleges and houses and everything else and they're not going to sit around and go, oh, okay, well, we just won't go to school.

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We just won't go to school, dad. So, you know, I was, I was always very entrepreneurial. I was able to start another company. And so I got it going and took care of life and life's terms and. But that second company helped teach me that my first company was not a lucky break.

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It was not luck that got me there. It was my skill sets that got me there. So it got me there again and I built another business and it was really good. So you had to be. I had to be willing to listen to somebody who said, I've got a really good idea for you, because it was not my idea.

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You know, he said, but, you're in this industry, the office products industry. Why don't we try and work in the printing business? And then I've got the printing business, you got all the contacts. We'll figure out a way to make this work. And so I went back to the same customers and said, you trusted me for 12 years.

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How about trusting me with this? And instantly we had a new business going. So really that was. Well, and the other thing is, you knew how to put the dots together. Look, you'd already, you know, you, you, you can think your way through strategic situations and you put the dots together to see what work.

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Now you willingness was the willingness to let go and move on. And you did that. And then the same thing was. And I think the second one is really important because we got six of them. Here is daily quiet time. And look, you were this type A always on entrepreneur, listening to who you think you don't have time for.

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Quiet time is what you basically said. How do you convince, how do you convince somebody who's listening right now that this quiet time is probably one of the most important things that they could do. And, a quiet time to either meditate, reflect, however you want to call it, but literally just time to think about your thoughts.

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And, you know, people say, well, I'm going to meditate. And they go, I can never quiet my mind. And I say, that isn't always the point of meditation. Sometimes it's a let that flow through. You have to just kind of let all those thoughts that are going to just keep coming up during the meditation, just recognize them and say thank you and move on.

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And some, some people never get beyond that, mind chatter. Right? Never do. But, for you, when you say quiet time, what do you mean by it? And what happened to you when you started doing it? Well, I had the same exact situation, you know, where I don't have time for this.

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I don't have time for this. What am I doing here? This is a waste of my time, you know. Oh my God, how long have I been meditating? You know, it's like 45 seconds. It's just like I used to be a really good long distance runner and before my knees and legs and ankles all said, that's enough, no more of that, and, and I couldn't run, you know, a six minute mile when I first started running.

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You know, it took years of practice and long distances and training on hills and all sorts of things to get to the point where I could keep myself calm and keep my breath steady even though my body was screaming for more oxygen. So I could get to the top of a hill and then I could start to breathe and I would move ahead of the rest of the runners.

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And it's the same thing with, same thing with meditation. Your brain is going to tell you to get away from whatever you're trying now, stop doing it and get back to work. And what you need to do is realize that that person that is talking to you is trying to mess up your ability to get back in control of your emotions and back in control of your situations.

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Because I mean, to use the very practical example, Covey wrote in his infinite wisdom the concept of control, influence and concern. He had the three circles, concern and things that we have nothing we can do about whether stock markets, elections.

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Unless you can control or influence any of that, then let it go and forget about it. The next thing is influence. And we have influence on anything that we connect with any day of our lives. And it'll be positive influence or negative influence, but that's all based on how well the control is working, how well is your emotional control working.

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And I mean, if you've meant to go into a meeting or you're meant to get into a conversation and the next thing you know you're finding yourself yelling at somebody or, you know, if you've ever said, I didn't understand why she was crying and I just, I didn't mean to do that, you know, any of those kinds of comments have ever come to you, then probably this is not connected.

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These are not connected. You know, there's, you know, who always Todd, actually, Todd Churches, who said to me, you said, you know, I used to think I had a, like a gumball machine in my head. You know, the guy, the gumball would just drop to my tongue and roll out. I didn't. There was no buffer, nothing. It Just fell out.

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And I said things and people just looked at me like, oh, my God, how can you be so rude? And so for me, the idea was meditation willingness. Again, instead of going, no, I'm not going to do that, I'd be willing to find a teacher to teach me that. And so that's what I did.

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I found a teacher that teach me how to be still, be quiet, count my breaths. And it worked its way up. It is an amazing process. When I was having anxiety attacks, I went and got biofeedback. And as a result, and this is very.

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I was very young, and I ended up starting a meditation practice. And I'll have to say that I've broken it in between and started it up, and I've gone back and forth like I think a lot of people do. I think the key is, though, to dedicate, even if it's not just sitting on a cushion, meditating.

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Go walk through your park or go get to the beach. Go like where you are. You're in Florida, got plenty of beaches to walk on, but take some time for you to just do that. Now, one of the things you talk about is service to others. You said it might be counterintuitive to a, driven business leader, which it is and it isn't.

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But I think if the, like you said, you were focused on me. As long as you're always focused on me, obviously it's going to seem like a counterintuitive thing. How does serving others actually enhance rather than detract from what you refer to as your success or professional success?

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Well, the. A friend of mine, I think it's Tim Swanson. I know it's Tim. It's been a long time since I thought of his last name. But he wrote a book years ago called Love is the Killer App. And, it was all about a deeper investment in the people that you work with, whether it be in co workers or whether it be employees.

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And this is where the concept of service came from. I mean, not from Tim, but I had worked on this, and his book aligned with my thinking. And we sat down one time at a National Speakers association meeting and, and had a great talk about service. And I did a whole lot of workshops here in Jacksonville, during the downturn, 2008, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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For people about the idea of why don't people call you back? Why don't people call you back? And the reason they don't call you back is they don't have any need for whatever it is. You're selling. If they need it, they'll call you, but they don't want you to check in on them unless you have a different relationship with them.

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Unless there's something like you were talking to them and you found out that their kid was going to school and you sent a new school and you went and got a sweatshirt and send it to them and said, hey, how you like that sweatshirt? I guarantee you the next time you're thinking, you call them, they'll call you back. If you think about treating your customers the same way you would your children or your coworkers or anybody else, I mean, these are the people who.

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The people who love you and the people who generate the ability for you to pay for the lifestyle that you take, what you try to do. So the idea of being service focused is. Is not service focused based on what I'm selling. It's service focused based on what they need.

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Okay. It's kind of like if you remember the sim, they need the emotional connection. And I think that it's like when. When you include employees in the process, right? So let's say you had your stationary strength. God, I think he has. When all you did was make decisions, it falls on deaf ears.

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But when you let them in and say, hey, I want your opinion, I'd like your advice. I really do need your help. Not only do you get better employees, but you get people that are much more engaged and willing to work with you. I wouldn't say for you.

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They think, now it's with you. This is something. I'm walking with John down toward a common goal, down toward a, common aspiration. And I'm important, and I'm an important part of that. It's not John's an important part of that.

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And I'm just going along the walk too. And so that's why what happened with the book was the book was written for individual changes. And the very first call I got was from an individual who owned a business, and he said, can you come? And we could talk and we could talk for a while. And the next thing I know, I'm talking to his entire company, right?

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About the idea of the value of the people who you work with. Do you value them? Do they understand that you value them? Because it doesn't matter if you value them if they don't know that you do. You know, it's a matter of making people aware of their sense of importance in an organization, no matter what they do.

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I mean, I remember when I had a large company with Trucks and delivering men and stuff. We ended up. This was such a silly little thing. And I thought, how can I make the drivers feel more important? They're not here in the building. They're never here. So we printed business cards for them.

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That was it. Gave them business cards so that they could give them to the customers. They see our customers every single day. So why don't you go out and feel proud about being a driver, Senior driver, you know, senior, administration, whatever it might be. And they went insane because they were appreciated and valued.

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They'd never ever. I mean, I had guys over 60 years old driving trucks. Nobody had ever given them a business card ever. Right. What a great idea. I mean, I think for people listening, hey, take John's idea. That's a wonderful idea. If you have a company that has drivers, whoever.

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Who even hands out a business card anymore, very seldom. The point is that whether it's a business card or it's a little quote with a saying on it, or the Daily six or Seven, whatever, anything at all, the idea is that it can't be. It's not.

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People change for their reasons. Not for yours, not because of your mission statement, not because of your strategic plan. It's because of their sense of connection to those things. Right. When I do a workshop and I say something like, is anybody in here ever had a program or a strategic plan or anything else just dropped on them from above, without any input or even knowing it was coming, and every hand in the room goes up.

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Well, that's why those change management programs frequently fail, like 90% of them do, as you know. Because, look, you're in this business, you're out changing the focus, connecting knowledge with emotions. That's really your, that's kind of your tagline for your business.

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But, you know, one of the things you do, and I'm, Let the listeners know. Go, go download this free chapter. Because love and forgiveness is one, gratitude is one, and the next one is action. And you emphasize that action is what separates the Daily Six from being just another intellectual exercise.

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And I would agree, because, look, we can talk about all these things, but if we don't act on them, it's kind of useless. So what does, daily action look like in practice? And how do business leaders integrate these principles without it becoming just another checklist?

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Because, you know, in the book, I do know from what I could tell that, like I did, I didn't get the book. But I would assume you've got places for us to reflect. Yes, and, or questions about reflecting.

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Can you talk with us the importance of action and why this makes this difference? Well, that was the thing that they, when I, when Putnam, I approached Putnam with the book, they thought it was a great idea, but they wanted to know why was this different than Seven Habits or any of these other books that were popular at the same time.

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And I said, because everybody else is just sort of telling you all these great tenets and I'm telling you to take these great tenants and then get off your butt and go do something with them rather than just intellectually create another exercise and another book up on your shelf. The idea of the Daily Six is to take these.

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And this was something I was just talking to a client about the other day. You have to take all of the components. Willingness, service, quiet time, love and forgiveness, gratitude and action. And you have to move them into every conversation in your life. You might be grateful for this person, you might be loving and forgiving of this person.

[26:46.3]
Which allows you to take action to change the behavior that you've exhibited in the past and change the behavior towards a much more positive behavior in the present. You might be given, you might decide you want to meditate, but you just can't bring yourself to it.

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So you go back to willingness and you go, okay, well, am I willing to make a 10 minute investment in my time? If even what 10% of what John says is true, and if the answer is yes, then you need to take willingness and quiet time, an action, and put them together into a component of 10 minutes of energy that you spend.

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And I don't. Again, I don't care if you crochet or nail nails or go and throw a hatchet at a top. I don't care. I just want your mind to be clear and not buzzing. Don't have your phone with you. Don't have nothing that would be distracting mentally, physically.

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Sure, go for a run. That's what I used to do when I could run. I'd go out and run for an hour. My brain would just sort of decompress and decompress. And then finally it was. All the stuff from the day was gone. But it takes practice. You're not going to, you're not going to be floating.

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I'm not asking anybody to meditate to a point of, you know, floating around the room. Just get to a point where when you sort of come out of this, you're at a peaceful beginning of the day, I think. Not to interrupt you and I apologize. But when you do that that daily, quiet time, it shifts your perspective.

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I think I told you this. I have a guy, a friend, who's a good filmmaker, and he says, you know, if there's a picture of you hanging on the wall and the view of it, you put your nose up to the picture, you can't tell it's you, right? But when you take a shift in perspective, this is what meditation does.

[28:36.2]
This is what the daily quiet time will do. It will shift your perspective, and it'll shift it for the whole day. Because that's what you need to remember is the more you do that, the more it, will shift. Now, one of the things you've done, and your website is very articulate in this matter, is, you know, you've worked with organizations to implement these principles at scale.

[28:59.1]
Right? It's like Daily Six isn't a brand new book. It's been out there, it's been around you. But again, think of, I just put it in order. So what resistance. What resistance do you typically encounter when trying to introduce these concepts?

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Like we just said, the quiet time and forgiveness to corporate culture? And how do you overcome it? I mean, I remember Herb Keliber, Herb Kelleher, the guy that founded Southwest, you know, he had love heart on the back of the plane, and he always believed in love.

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And he'd go around and he give all the people candy. And there were all kinds of movies made about the organizational development of Southwest Airlines. Now, I think there's been a huge shift since Herb. I don't even know if he's still alive. Was there. There's a new CEO.

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But the point was they wanted to give love, right, to their customers and to their employees. Right. They were doing both. And that airline was really built on that, that mission. Like, hey, we're going to give as much love as we can.

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Treat the customers with respect. Don't yell back at them. Give them as much as you can. Now, I know I've had a few challenging times with Southwest Airlines, but the point is, is that I think they did the best they could do. Right. And so what resistance did you, John, get when you came in and said, I have these Daily Six, and by the way, here they are, and this is what I want to do.

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And how did you overcome them? Sadly and slow. Sadly and slowly. You know, it is a 19. First talk I gave about the Daily Six was in 1998, and it was to a leadership group in Washington, D.C.

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which I had been a member of probably 15 years earlier.

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And I was talking about the concepts, and that's actually how I ended up with a book. But it was these. The good news is these were friends. These were people who knew me very well. And they came up at the end in swarms about how much they loved the concepts and everything else. And a couple of friends of mine turned around and went, yeah, but I don't know if I would ever pay you to come in my business and talk to me about this stuff.

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So how are we going to make this about being happy but making money? And the reality is you have to be able to. I mean, you can't just go and sit and smile at people. I mean, you know, I've been in business my whole life, and it's.

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And it's. And I understand with 30 years of running companies and about 30 years of doing this that, you have to find a process. Now, my position has always been. And the hard part was to get people to listen to it originally, which is, I would tell people that your company, your people will be happier, more productive, more engaged.

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And these were words that no one was using in 2002 and 2003. They were just going, yeah, yeah, okay, don't I already pay them? I'm paying them, right? And, you know, I'm like, yes. And are you happy with the level of productivity? No. I said, well, if productivity went up, would you be happier?

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Yes. I said, then try this. It doesn't cost anything. It's just being nice. You know, it's paying attention and being nice. You don't have to buy flags or give away candy or anything else. A person would much rather have an appreciation, a true appreciation.

[32:28.4]
I said, don't make this the litany of the cubicles, which is when you're walking down the aisle in the morning and you're going, morning, morning, morning, morning. As you walk past all your people, or when you show up on Friday and talk about how hard everybody's been working all week and you're dressed to go play golf.

[32:45.6]
I mean, these are things that are just. This is the cognitive dissonance that froze people, way off track. You know, why would he be doing that? He's just like this. Why would he be saying the same thing to me that he's saying to Sally? Her husband just died, and he's just as happy to see her as he was to see me, you know, and how much time is wasted with them trying to get back on track after you've screwed the track up so badly?

[33:10.2]
So the way I define love in the book. Let me get another drink of water since I'm. My voice is getting tired after all these years.

[33:23.1]
The way I describe love in the book is understanding the needs of others and treating those needs as important as if they were mine. That's it. That's all. I used to have a lot of trouble with the concept of love when I was working in Saudi Arabia because they were really very concerned about talking about love.

[33:40.6]
But once they understood the concept was just caring about people, the issue went away. The issues were, oh, this is not sex. Oh, this is not. This is not romantic. No, this is not romantic. This is understanding their needs and treating their needs as important as mine. So when I understand what's going on with my drivers or I understand what's going on with my co workers or my assistant, I mean, I've told people before.

[34:04.3]
How many people would you consider to be the reason for your success in your life? And they all go, oh, well, it's Sally and Billy, and my uncle helped me get started. When was the last time you called them and told them or stood up in front of them and told them how important they were in your success?

[34:20.4]
Oh, yeah. It's been a long time. Why? Why has it been a long time? Because your focus has been here, not here. Yeah, here is if you want to fix what's going on out here, you got to fix what's going on in here first so you can show up in a positive mood.

[34:36.9]
You remember we were talking about control, influence, and concern? Well, the only thing you can control is thoughts and emotions. And in many cases, I couldn't even control both of those early on in my career. Well, it was always said, and I think you'll remember this guy.

[34:52.1]
You definitely remember him. I used to go to sales conferences because I was in marketing and sales for much, much of my life. Right. And Zig Ziglar said people don't. Zig Ziglar used to say, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

[35:11.1]
And I. All that statement always sat with me, like, oh, my God, you know, all these salespeople are out here trying to convince somebody of something. If they would just take a little more interest in the client themselves, like caring, like, really trying to understand what their need was, versus, oh, I've got this great widget you can buy, and it's going to fix everything in the world, which, you know, they don't believe anyway.

[35:34.5]
So the point was, you know, for some reason, they paid Ziglar one of my High National Figures association membership, was having breakfast with Zig Ziglar one morning. He's about this tall. Yeah. And he.

[35:51.3]
But the thing was, he was right on the money. But everybody. And everybody listened and everybody heard him, and nobody did it. I know. And that's the problem. I mean, I remember being in Saudi Arabia doing a keynote address to the International Conference on Education or something.

[36:08.2]
It was 10,000 people, and a woman in the front row at the end of my talk stood up and said, this is all in the Quran, and I win. Yes. Yes, it is. I did not think up the concepts of love or gratitude or forgiveness or anything else.

[36:24.7]
But it's also in the Torah. It's also in the Bible. It's also in Bhagavita. It's in every major religious text there is. And it's not a matter of is it there? It's a matter of is it here?

[36:41.5]
Yeah. And then she just got real quiet and sit down, because it's like it's not knowing it, it's using it. And so that's why it's really a matter of living the concepts in the daily six, not learning the concepts in the daily. I think.

[36:56.8]
I think we've been taught in the U.S. and conditioned. And I will say this about the U.S. it's probably a lot of other places, but let's just paraphrase it for here. We've been conditioned so much, especially males, to be successful at whatever.

[37:12.4]
Whatever we're supposed to do. And, And so they push off what you're talking about here. Quiet time, service to others, love and forgiveness, because they've got to climb a ladder to be seen as somebody who's achieved something, whether it's their own ego telling them this or it's their parents who said, I put you through Harvard.

[37:33.4]
No, by the way, you got to be the best doctor there is. The whole wide world or Stanford, it doesn't matter where it is. That is really the bigger issue is you getting over who you see yourself as versus you worrying about somebody else making their projection of who they think you should be.

[37:55.0]
And that is probably the biggest thing, because people have to have the confidence to stand up and say, this is truly who I am. I'm about love, about forgiveness. I'm about willingness, about the quiet time, about the gratitude. That's who. That's my essence of being.

[38:11.4]
So let me wrap this up with you. Because listeners love what you're saying, they're going to go to your website. I know when they're going to download the first chapter. I'm going to encourage everyone. We'll have a link to Amazon, Go get the book itself. But look, if somebody out there is listening right now and they wanted to implement one of your daily six principles starting tomorrow and knowing what you know now at your age and having lived this and taught it and still are trying to probably learn it yourself, because I think everything we write about is, I've written books.

[38:48.3]
Two, three is something we need to learn ourselves. Which one would you recommend that they start with and why? Well, I'll tell you, the thing that I would probably suggest is in finding something that you feel most important.

[39:05.5]
So what I usually ask people to do is write down the five things that take up the most time in your week or your day or whatever you want, and then write down the five things that you're most proud of or grateful for in your life and then find out why these five things take up the most time are not exactly the same things that are most important to you.

[39:28.1]
Okay. And then what you need to do is make a list of, of the things that you're willing to work on. What are you willing to work on? I'm willing. I have a. If, if you get somebody that wants to, find, out something, I will send them, because we're on this with you, I will send them a workbook, Daily six workbook, which is different than the, first chapter and it's different than the book itself.

[39:54.6]
It's a workbook of how you go through the process and write down the things you're willing to try, things you're willing to do, things you're not willing to do, and why aren't you willing to do them? The reason. How can you tell if somebody is expressing love to you and how do you express love to other people?

[40:09.8]
That kind of thing, it goes, takes you right through the daily sticks like that. I'm happy to send them a free copy, electronically. Good. But the thing you have to start with is you have to be willing to try. You need first to identify what it is you're really trying to do.

[40:26.8]
Am I trying to be a better husband? Am I trying to be a better wife? Kids? Am I trying to be a better person at work? Am I trying to learn how to, be more loving, be more emotionally engaged? You're willing to do that?

[40:43.7]
Okay, fine then. I mean, the nice thing today is you can look up, sit down with chat GPT and say, how can I be more loving to My family, Gary, it will throw out a thousand things you could start doing tomorrow.

[40:59.1]
But, you know, just, the most important thing is simply to learn. Like you said, I would think willingness is the concept. If you start anything, then willing. You've been willing to work on quiet time, work on setting an intention.

[41:15.8]
What I try to do is, in a place of quiet time, sit quietly. And at the end of that quiet time, set an intention. One of the six that you would like to express. Today, I'd like to be more loving.

[41:31.2]
Today, I'd like to be grateful. Today I'd like to take some action on things I've not been taking action on. Today I'd like to. Something like that. So you set an intention, and as you go through the day, set a little reminder on your phone for three or four hours from now, how am I doing on that intention?

[41:47.9]
If you start out thinking, I'm going to be grateful today, four hours later, are you still being grateful? Or are you yelling at people you know, are you storming around the building trying to figure out, I got to calm down before I go back inside and talk to these people because I'm going to smack somebody? I had a statement that I say I went back later in life, and I got a master's degree in spiritual psychology.

[42:11.8]
And the, the people that ran the course, the two doctors that ran this course, he said, if there was a video cam that followed you for the day, right, and went around and then they played it back, right, how much of that would you actually like?

[42:31.7]
In other words, you know, because, hey, look at a video cam followed all of us for a course of a day. We would see behavior that wasn't probably in alignment with who we wanted to be, but it was behavior that was automatic. We were on automatic pilot.

[42:47.0]
And I want to let our listeners know that the Daily Six is a great book for you to reevaluate how you're living your life. A way for you to take these principles, the six, and apply them. Also, I want to take people to go to your website.

[43:04.0]
And again, it's John C H A P P E L E A R dot com. There underneath his, services, you're going to see workshop topics. And John actually covers emotional intelligence, customer service manager and supervisor.

[43:23.4]
He's got all kinds of workshops that he could do for you. So I want to encourage people to go to the website, take a look at his video, take a look at what it is that he's offering, and also download that free, first chapter and the course and get in touch with him.

[43:42.0]
You can. There's a contact button you can push on the corner and reach him. So, John, pleasure having you on Inside Personal Growth, talking about the Daily Six. I think you and I could probably talk all day long, but you're voices giving out. And, I think he's offering you this little workbook, and I think what you're going to do is send him an email and request the workbook.

[44:06.1]
I'm going to request it from you myself when I finish here, and I promise respond to that email. Okay. All right. Well, John, I appreciate you having you on the show. Thank you for spending this time with my listeners. Thank, you. And namaste to you.

[44:21.3]
Thank you for putting this material out, taking the time to do that. It was a very engaging, fun, dialogue that we had. I appreciated your time. Thank you, Greg. I'm really grateful to you and to Todd for recommending that we connect. I'm glad he said that.

[44:37.8]
You have a wonderful rest of your afternoon in Florida. Thank you very much. Thank you. I'll be blotting my forehead. The rest. All right, take care. Take care. Bye. Thank you for listening to this podcast on Inside Personal Growth. We appreciate your support.

[44:54.7]
And for more information about new podcasts, Please go to InsidePersonalGrowth.com or any of your favorite channels to listen to our podcast. Thanks again and have a wonderful day.