My guest for this episode is one of the authors of recently released book The Connected Community: Discovering the Health, Wealth, and Power of Neighborhoods, Cormac Russell. The book is co-authored by John McKnight.

Cormac is a faculty member of the Asset-Based Community Development (ABCD) Institute at Northwestern University, Chicago. He has trained communities, agencies, NGOs and governments in ABCD and other strengths based approaches in Kenya, Rwanda, Southern Sudan, South Africa, the UK, Ireland, Sweden, the Netherlands, Canada and Australia. Cormac wants us to revisit the role of public services and explains how an assets approach can improve community health, safety, and economic and environmental well being.

Cormac has also came up with several books inline with his vision. Just last September, he, along with John McKnight, released their book entitled The Connected Community: Discovering the Health, Wealth, and Power of Neighborhoods. This book is made to guide its audience in finding out how to uncover the hidden talents, assets, and abilities in your neighborhood and bring them together to create a vibrant and joyful community.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Cormac, you may click here to visit their company website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Cormac Russell. Happy listening!

THE BOOK 

We may be living longer, but people are more socially isolated than ever before. As a result, we are hindered both mentally and physically, and many of us are looking for something concrete we can do to address problems like poverty, racism, and climate change. What if solutions could be found on your very doorstep or just two door knocks away?

Find out how to uncover the hidden talents, assets, and abilities in your neighborhood and bring them together to create a vibrant and joyful community. It takes a village!

THE AUTHOR

Cormac Russell is a veteran practitioner of asset-based community development (ABCD), which focuses on uncovering and leveraging the hidden resources, skills, and experience in our neighborhoods. He and John McKnight, the cooriginator of ABCD, show how anyone can discover this untapped potential and connect with his or her neighbors to create healthier, safer, greener, more prosperous, and welcoming communities. They offer a wealth of illustrative examples from around the world that will inspire you to explore your own community and discover its hidden treasures.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And I have Cormac Russell, joining us from Dublin, Ireland. Good evening to you, Cormac. How are you doing?

Cormac Russell
Good evening, Greg. Very well, and very happy to be with you.

Greg Voisen
Well, we're happy to have you. And we're going to be speaking today about his book. Also his website, which is a huge resource, we were just talking about The Connected Community, subtitle Discovering the Health, Wealth and Power of Neighborhoods. This is also co-authored with John McKnight. And I want to give a shout out to John because John is kind of when you go to his website, he is a foundation in this particular arena. So both of them have done a great job writing this book. And I want to let my listeners don't know just a little bit about you. Cormac is a Social Explorer and author, and a much sought after speaker. He is the founding director of nurture development, which that is the website, nurture development dot o RG, and a member of the assets based Community Development Institute at St. Paul University in Chicago. Over the last 25 years, core MCs work has demonstrated an enduring impact in 35 countries around the world. He has trained communities, agencies, NGOs, and governments in the A, B, C, D, and other community based approaches in Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe and North America. This is his most recent book, he has another book that was released prior to this, called rekindling democracy, a professional guide to working in citizen space, you can go to his website, and you can also see a link to his TED Talk. So, you know, you had Parker, Palmer, write the introduction to your book. And it struck me with what he said, he wrote, many of us are hard pressed to provide color commentaries on our own neighborhoods. And for that, we're going to pay a price or we are paying a price. Our disconnection from people and place diminishes our quality of life. And its root cause is a range of personal and political pathologies. I agree. One, including loneliness, you know, just people separation and loneliness. And that's a big issue since COVID. Another big issue that people are faced with, what are some of those pathologies and that we're really faced with, in your estimation, Cormack,

Cormac Russell
Greg. It's a very powerful quote. And it's exactly what we would expect from a wisdom holder like Parker, and he's on the money on this one. I think like you say, loneliness is on the rise. We're looking at a deepening sense of social disconnection. But not just, I think we're paying for this level of disconnection with our health as well. So when we look, even though we're living longer, in many cases, people are living longer, but a lot more dissatisfied over time. So we're disconnected. I think from each other. We're disconnected. But we're also disconnected often from our own power sources. In terms of democracy, we're often outsourcing a lot of our agency which we could heart, you know, harness collectively, at the local level, a lot of people thinking democracy is about voting, or just expressing an opinion. It's about a lot more. It's about active citizenship. We're seeing at the moment, very strong examples of what happens when you outsource the production of the energy you consume to distance nonrenewable price gouging monopolies. We're paying a very high price for that right now. And we will continue over the winter. We see this in Europe, and we see this in North America and other places. So I think both in terms of our health and in terms of our citizenship, what he's really calling our attention to here is if we farm out our power and our strength to distant institutions, we shouldn't be surprised when we feel diminished, and we feel polarized from each other. And that's exactly what we're seeing.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, and I think it takes more effort to find things locally. So I mean, that being let's just say even farmers markets, right and buying your goods from a local farmer, that's very small example. But I know in your country, you know, you're using wind power to write and, and we're using some here, but not to the degree that Ireland has really pushed the wind power. And I think having those resources and understanding how we are getting our assets is really, really important our resources, our assets, and if you would speak with the listeners about good life, which is about collective effort and cooperation, not individualism and competition, how do we go about creating good life in our communities? Because, you know, I love the term that you're using to kind of identify what this is, which is about cooperation, and the collective. And what is it at the essence that we need to do to have more of that, versus this mindset, which this western culture that we've all been brought up in? has always, and I'll say, even in corporations, it's command and control. And it's been about competition, we are seeing a shift. It's a gradual shift. But I'd love to know what it is about the good life or how we would go about

Cormac Russell
that good life. Absolutely. That's really what we're trying to call attention to in the book. So for me, the good life is about Ubuntu, which is a South African expression, which means I am because we are, so it shifts my focus away from, you know, the Frank Sinatra, I did it my way, the rugged individual story, and says, We're not self-reliance, were actually other reliant. We're interdependent in all kinds of ways with each other, even if we don't like to admit it, it just is, as it is, we're social beings. And so the good life is not something you go off on your own and experience, we need each other, we need connection with place, with people, with culture, with environment. And I suppose in many respects, the good life is about coming home to the fact that a lot of what we need to have a decent life for ourselves and our families is much closer at hand than we think. But we've outsourced an awful lot of that power to institutions and professions who are very good and well intentioned. But for me, an example of this is what happened a year ago in Shreveport, Louisiana, where a school arrested 23 kids. So here you have a school where the kids go to school, and essentially the first people they're greeted by our security guards, and they're going through a scanning machine. And they're being patted down for guns and for weapons. And not surprisingly, if you if you have that kind of environment, very quickly, you get a culture that is competitive and aggressive, then saw 23 Kids are arrested, what happens? Well, here you have an example of where the story is about how the system hits its limit. So you've got a good principal, good teachers, good counselors, well intended security guards, etc. But none of them can keep the kids safe. What's going on? Few days after this happens 40 dads who live in the local neighborhood, say you know something, this is our business. We got good professionals, they're doing their best, but this isn't okay. So they go to the principal may say, well, we'd like to do something to contribute here. How can we help. And they set up what they call dads on duty. And they go into the school into the hallways, and without any force without any threat of violence or intimidation. With dad jokes and high fives. They start loving these kids back to peace. These aren't vigilantes, they're vigilant elders, who are showing up because they take seriously the idea that it takes a village to raise a child. And by the way, Greg, everybody believes this. There's nobody I've ever met. Who doesn't say Yes, that makes sense to me. But hardly anybody is doing anything about it. So if it takes a village to raise a child, what does it take to raise a village? Well, these dads reckon it takes the dads showing up. And so I think this is a really important insight about what it means to have a good life. The Good Life is contingent on the connectivity of the village. It's not something that we can do through personal growth on our own. And it's not even something that a family on its own can do. Even the best and intended schools can't do it on their own. It really does require the connections across the village. And that's the work to be done. I think.

Greg Voisen
What do you think that? I mean, we see grassroots kind of advocates and people that are much more motivated than others to create a movement, like the dads got together and did this small movement as you want it was a movement for good, the good life as you refer to it as how is it that we inspire people to want to take that action because it is really around an action, positive action to make something different, to change something for the better. And I, my sense is because of how we've been conditioned, there's a lot of complacency around us. And I would just love to know what you think, can be done to kind of inspire that and at what level and where do we start? I mean, I think he needs to start people at younger levels. Junior High School,

Cormac Russell
for sure, for sure. I think, what's really important is you often hear people say, well, folks are very apathetic these days. So they're not showing up in the way that they might have in the past. We have wonderful books like bowling alone, that tells us, you know, there's a retreat in the level of engagement at volunteer level and civic level. And I think that's all true, but it to be positive, I think, we know that everybody cares about something enough to act upon it. We just often don't know what that is. So I think the first step is to find out what people care about. And instead of trying to convert them to what we think they should do, it's really about deeply listening to what gets them going, what lights their fire. A lot of people, you know, it's really striking. They're more like clients, crouched over kindling, waiting for other people to light their fire as against lightning their own, you know, but there, it's important to not moralize, I think people get quite frightened sometimes by the scale. So I think when we can say to people, that however you show up is good enough. So during COVID, I was saying to neighbors of mine, get to know your neighbors before you need them. And it might be that all you do during lockdown is commit to call three members of your golf club, or if you're a member of, you know, a church link in with those three people every single day over the fall. If that's a threshold, if that's something you know, you can do, and you can do it daily. That's enough, if everybody did that, oh, yeah, locked down phenomenally more tolerable, right. So it's about seeing whatever it is you do, if it's about contributing to the wellbeing of the neighborhood, that's great. So I liked the idea that we're distributing the responsibility. And therefore small acts can make a big difference.

Greg Voisen
I like the small acts part. And I think that that's something everybody can do. You know, like I said, if you can just see three people, you know, my, my wife hosted a cookie exchange here at the house. And it's interesting, you get I, as the man wasn't supposed to be here, but I was anyway, you know, and you get to know the people a lot better. And you get an opportunity to, to commiserate and talk about things and what's going on in the neighborhood. And you state that, at the root of many of the world's problems is our disconnection from one another and from our natural surroundings. And I want to underscore natural surroundings. What are some of the side effects of this disconnection? And what can we do about it? I mean, I know when I know, for me a very important element. I'm just speaking personally, my listeners know me is my connection to nature. It's like I have to get out. And I have to be in nature. Because if I'm not, it's like, my whole creativity goes down the drain. And, and I don't have that sense of spirituality and connection to the greater, you know. I know I'd call it nature, right of things. So what are some of the side effects of these disconnections? Well,

Cormac Russell
what starts to happen is we start to numb out not just from our own instincts as human beings, but we start to numb out to all kinds of possibilities, the possibility of you know, if you could imagine standing at the corner of your block and you've got the these X ray glasses on, that allow you to see things that you typically don't notice, like the gifts of your neighbors, the possibilities of the network's the clubs, the groups, the generosity of the mom and pop a store that watches out for people who don't turn up To get their newspaper and we'll go and knock on the door. So all of these invisible but really vital things, these acids as we call them in the neighborhood, if we could see those, and we were connected to those, we could then tap into those as well as contributing, we could benefit from them. Now the issue is when you're disconnected, you can be in a in a place but not have a place. And when we're connected just to be affirmative when we're connected, we're in a reciprocal relationship. So we're nourishing and being nourished, and our nature Natura nature, we are soil beings as well as human beings. So human comes from the same root as humus. So we are soil beings, we must have a sense of being connected to soil being connected to nature, it gives us a rooted sense of who we are. And it makes it much easier for us to be in flow, to be in our citizenship and to be in our power. And it makes problem solving much easier. It also reduces polarization. This connection is similar to polarization, you know, where you're stuck at the cerebral level, where all you're talking about is opinions. When you're rooted with people in place, what you start to do is move beyond opinions towards contribution towards commitment. And when you're committed in action in nature in soil, hey, guess what happens? You start acting in a much more common sense way, you become a commoner. And it is healthy for everybody at all species, there's 8 million species on the planet, we're one. And just, you know, I think we just get to a place where we can be better at being human together with each other and with Mother Earth. And that matters, I think, a huge amount.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, yes, especially during these times, as we've seen environmental changes across the globe. Everything from wildfires here in California, to diminishing rains in many areas, it is very apparent that there is an imbalance going on the co2 emissions increasing. And you know, as you said, you know, the name of your nonprofit is nurture development. Org, it is about us making that connection again, you know, if you would speak with the listeners about your co-author in his book, building communities from the inside out, which became known as the Green Book. Also, tell us about the asset based Community Development Institute, if you would,

Cormac Russell
sure. Happy to Greg. So John McKnight, John has, I would describe him as a luminary in the community development community organizing world, particularly in North America over the last 60 years, is really, he's defined, I think, a huge amount of how we think about building community from the inside out, rather than from outside in which I think was very much the way things might have been thought about before he's his contribution became well known. So across is 91, this year of 91, in November, last month, so across the last six decades, you know, from journey and very deeply in the civil rights movement, working alongside Reverend Martin Luther King, and other key leaders, into the Kennedy administration, where he worked on affirmative action into being a lecturer, teacher at Northwestern University, and lots of high points. And I suppose in that journey, he trained Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, and asset based community development and community organizing in the late 80s. And then one of the things that might be worth mentioning for your listeners as well, Greg is in in the late 80s. Also, John and a close colleague of us, God Kretzmann. And about 70. And others, started to do something that I think really grounded and defined what we understand to be John's primary contribution around acid based community development. And this explains a little bit around where the ABCDE Institute comes out of. So in the late 80s, they visited 20 cities, and 300 neighborhoods across North America. And these were neighborhoods which had been defined by the some of their problems. So they were very much seen as backwaters of pathology. And John and Jody wanted to go in to Do those neighborhoods and deeply listened to people, not as problems to be solved, but as incredibly gifted individuals with experience knowledge, ideas and creativity, and wanted to try to understand from them what it was that they were doing to make life better. And as they listened to people, you know, share stories about times that their neighbors had joined together to make things better. What they began to realize, and this is where the green book emerged from that you mentioned, was the stories you know, as they listen to the stories about how people got together to be effective, they started to realize that the dominant narrative in North America, which kind of said, you know, things get better if you've got better schools, if you've got better hospitals, if you've got better institutions, was actually missing a trick. Because what those folks were telling them in their neighborhoods is things get better, sustainably better. When people who live in the neighborhood sleep in the neighborhoods trade, and the neighborhoods get together and see themselves as primary actors. And they take on the steering wheel. And they're the primary drivers of change. And particularly, when they use local assets, and they discover connected mobilize those assets. So in many respects, the green book was a compendium of those stories. So they gathered 3000 stories, which we're calling our attention to change that happens from inside out, rather than outside in. And that was community led in place based. And that book, The Green Book, should have a copy of here was written 30 years ago, give or take 1993. And it became very significant. So in our world, you know, if a book like that sells maybe 20,000 copies, that's, that's a best seller. So over the course of time, they have sold something in the region 140,000 Sorry, 120,000 have been sold and 20,000 have been gifted. So it's a very, very significant measure of John's and Jodi's and others contribution, they set up the ABCD Institute to proliferate the learning, and to encourage that alternative story, the inside out, citizen led story. And in many respects, that's the heritage that I tap into the ABCDE Institute, which is now hosted by DePaul University in Chicago City, is essentially, I would think about it as a movement. It's a social movement of folks who worked very closely through this perspective through this lens with communities.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, it's, I think, a great example, I was on with another gentleman, Dan Bittner, the gentleman who wrote the blue zones, and in a in a story, you know, he goes into cities. We were talking about exactly what you're talking about this asset based community. He, he said, Hey, look, you need to change the environment, to change the result. So he has a team that goes into the cities. And I think this is a great example. And they work on changing the walking paths and the bike paths and the ways in which people get exercise because his whole goal is to change BMI, the body mass index, so that people are more active, and successful. He's done this in many cities, and saved in the US, literally, in this one city, San Antonio, that he used an example $750 million dollars in health care costs reduced as a result of just making these minor changes, because people will utilize that when it becomes part of the environment. And when they're part of it. You know, so that was a great story. And you tell a great story about community and vorstand and neighborhood. And is it Devon care, and the Netherlands, where I'm Dave and Deb and care, and two individuals named Patrick and lender, tell our listeners what they did and the impact it had on the community. And it's just it was a great story that you put in the book.

Cormac Russell
It is a lovely story, and I'm honored to share it on their behalf and with their permission. So Patrick and Leonard are two gentlemen and I suppose to get the listeners in the in the spirit of the story. I want you to imagine sitting with them as they're sitting outside their front door so they're their neighbors and really good buddies. And what they do still to this day do is they take out their pictures and they sit up front, and they chat with each other. So they're good buddies, they chat with each other. And one day, as they were having a chat, they started commenting on how harsh the built environment was. So lots and lots of bricks with very, very little in the way of plants or, you know, softening foliage. And that conversation because they're both active men lead to let's do something. And so if you knew both of them, you'd see you'd see that if this conversation was only going to go in one direction, and it was slightly illegal. So they stood up, they got back into their houses, took out some pickaxes and some shovels and started digging up the pavement, bricks just under their windowsills, and under witches, some sand and soil and put planters in essentially creating a flower box. So each of them did this under their respective windows. And we're terribly proud of what they called their little street garden in in vorst, which is the name of the neighborhood and Dave winter, which is a city in the Netherlands. So, these two Dutch men, you know, very proud and they come out the next day. So they're sitting beside their two little street gardens, and their neighbors start commenting and say, No, that's very pretty, that looks nice. How did you do that? And, of course, being proactive, they told him, but they also then offered to do it for them. And before very long, you get this ripple effect where these little Street Gardens start popping up, compliments of Patrick and Leonard. And eventually, the word spreads from the street there onto other streets and other people say, hey, we'd quite like to do that. But is there a particular way you do that? Are we allowed to do that? Is that against regulation, and Patrick and Leonard just said, you know, don't ask permission, just ask forgiveness if you need to. But we need to have a nice environment here. So eventually, these things started popping up all over, they started mentoring other people on other streets. And so hundreds of these little Street Gardens popped up. And this is significant, I think, just to contrast it with the story that you told a few minutes ago around the green zones, because here you have local neighbors who are changing their environment, as opposed to people coming from outside to change the environment. And I would commend the Inside Out contrast here, wherever possible. And I'm sure you know, in terms of green zones, that's a really critical insight that wherever the green zones are the Blue Zones, excuse me, I think of green zones now because I'm thinking of Patrick and Lennar, but the Blue Zones are really powerfully also about how people feel they can shape their own environments. So that that's a little bit of what happened here. Because as Patrick and leathered started going to other streets, and essentially mentoring other neighbors on how to create their own street gardens. They started meeting other people, other neighbors who had various passions. So for example, they met a lady who was also sitting outside her front porch, and she was knitting. And Patrick setter, you know that I've been in hundreds of houses now, talking with people and I've met many people who enjoy knitting like you do. And in fact, we've got our own knit and natter group in the neighborhood. And these are people who just get together knit together, would you like me to introduce you to them, and she thought that was a lovely idea. And so what you see with Patrick and Leonard's as well as that they're connectors, so they're connecting people together like this lady. And a beautiful ripple effect of that was that group, that knit and natter group, knitted, a wonderful scarf that was three kilometers long to the colors of the local football club that's community owned. And they actually set a Guinness Book of Records in doing this the longest scarf ever knitted in the world. So these kind of motherhood and apple pie moments, but in all kinds of ways, the ripples stories, they're like the parents who found an allotment with the help of Patrick and Lennar for their kids to play and really was powerful. The most powerful story that comes out of that is the story about the family that came as guests, you know, fleeing Syria, and were allocated a house in that neighborhood. And the neighbors decided to come together to try to welcome that family at a time when in a lot of neighborhoods, there's quite a lot of hostility to asylum seekers and refugees and migrants coming in. So it doesn't always work out like this. But I think because of the connectivity And that had been created through the various ripple effects stories that I was I was sharing with you there, the people decided that they would wrap the house that the folks from Syria were coming to, in the scarf of their local neighborhood, and explained to the family, that what they wanted to do was given an outward expression of welcome and warmth, and explain to that family that even though they were fleeing from quite a traumatic environment, that they would be held in the warmth of that community and that they were safe. Now, I nearly choked up as I think about this. But this idea of a community, finding a way of welcoming the stranger at the edge is really powerful. And just it starts out with two guys saying, let's do something, and then slowly connecting people together, and building that collective power that collective agency. Well, it's

Greg Voisen
a, it's a tremendous amount of compassion on the part of the individuals to do something like that. And I think, as a species, if we're wanting to involve someplace, it should be to connectivity and compassion for one another, which is a very, very spiritual element. But at the same time, it's, it's a way for us to enrich our own life as much as it is to enrich somebody else's life. But that gift of giving, you know, finding them a place to live, wrapping it in the scarf, what Patrick and Leonard did, helping people build their gardens, you know, and you speak about what is required to create the connected community, the book is broken down into three specific processes of change. You call it discover, connect and mobilize? Can you speak with us about these processes for change in our local communities, and going from consumerism to localism? Because, you know, I think, look, it's we know the prevalence of big business today, we've I'll point to companies, it doesn't matter what it is, but let's just use Amazon, you know, that is consumerism. At its best probably. And then you have these other companies like Etsy, trying to kind of disrupt that a little bit by all the smaller homemakers where you can buy this. But localism is really more than that. So if you would, how would somebody listening today who might be in some small city next to me listening, or a larger city saying, hey, we need to have more localism, less consumerism?

Cormac Russell
Yeah, absolutely. So a lot of this is about imagination. But what helps imagination is the discovery phase. So I'll just take you through the discovery connection and mobilization phases really briefly, because it gives us it's not a map, but it gives us a compass and orientation point, in terms of how we might do something that makes visible what's often invisible. So that discovery phase starts with, what is it we have locally, which we may not necessarily either see? Or if we do see, we may not necessarily value what are those things? So there's an intentional process of let's map our assets. Let's discover what we have. And we can't discover unless we go and actually have conversations, go out and find out. So that's a really critical piece in the whole process. Let's start by looking under our own noses. Let's go outside, let's connect with our neighbors. And let's find out what are the acids that we have locally, in terms of what kind of resources what knowledge base what skills and gifts to our neighbors have? What do the clubs in the groups do? And it's really

Greg Voisen
cool usually drives those initiatives, Cormac? Because, you know, there was, again, it takes the drive and ambition and will to want to find these assets, it's to me, it'd be like building a big map. Okay, now, in a sense, it's like, hey, oh, great. I live here near the ocean, we've got the ocean, or we've got natural resources all around us, or we've got people that are doing things locally, that nobody knows anything about. Right. So who drives that initiative? And, and can they find all these resources on your website?

Cormac Russell
Yeah, they can. But let's just go back to that very important question of who initiates or who precipitates this? Right. I think the answer is that largely, if you look at how communities naturally organized themselves, what you'll find is that somebody in the local neighborhood has a concern or has a passion or as a care, you know, And so they can go one of two ways often. So one way they can go, as they say, you know, we tell a story about a mum, who's worried that her daughter is getting pulled in a direction she's not too happy about. And she wants to try to discover a way of connecting her daughter over the summer period with productive adults and productive activity, right. So here's a woman who could say, well, I'm going to refer my daughter to a program, and, you know, get her organized in some kind of activity for the summer, she could sort the problem out separate from her neighbors. But what she decides to do is to try to discover in the local neighborhood with her daughter, what are the possibilities here, and with her daughter, and she starts out really small, Greg, she starts out with a couple of other moms who also have a concern. They're working moms, they care for the kids on their own, they got to work summers coming up. So a lot of free time. There girls are, you know, 1314 years of age? And you can understand is the app parents yourself? There's a lot of concern about that, right? So do we go to the marketplace and pay for some kind of a youth program or whatever, or if we can't afford it? Do we try to get, you know, some voluntary organization to work with our kids? Well, she didn't, she decided she was going to try and tap in to the local assets in the community. And she discovered, even in this very low income neighborhood that there were hundreds and hundreds of neighbors who do all kinds of interesting things. voluntary activities, go out care for homeless people. She discovered hairdressers, she discovered police officers. And she went with three or four of her neighbors, they knocked on their neighbor's doors, and they said, You like us have young kids, we'd like to self-organize this summer, that every one of our kids can have a number of weeks where they can go and experience a work placement with you for a day, would you sign up to bring one of the kids from the neighborhood to work with you for a day, get your boss to agree to that. So we can change the story about our neighborhood that says nobody in our neighborhood amounts to anything worthwhile. And we can get our kids to recognize there's lots of amazing people doing lots of amazing things in our neighborhood. And we got really productive adults that they can look up to. So across the course of that summer, they tapped into the acids of their neighbor, their neighbors, and you know, their neighbors workplace, they couldn't have done that unless they went through a discovery phase, they had to go knock on doors, they had to have conversations, they could have been, they could have been consumers, right, they could have gone and outsourced the problem. But and this is a choice, I guess, that they decided to make, some of which was just they didn't have the purchase power to go to the marketplace. So if you don't have money power, you better have neighbor power. And if you want the neighbor power, you've got to go out and uncovers it's under the stones, but you got to lift the stones up to find it. So that's what they did they do or not, they talked to their local barbers and hairdressers, they went to look to the local assets. That's the first thing. But it's not enough to just discover and map, you also then got to connect those things together. So you might find that there's seven girls who really want to learn about hair braiding. And you might have, you know, somebody who knows how to do that as a local artist, but then they need somewhere to meet. And it needs to be bigger than the house. So then you got to tap into a local meeting place, maybe it's a local school or a local gym or a church. And you've got to go and you've got to make the connection. So that's why we go from Discover the assets that are disconnected. So you got kids to something, you've got maybe a skill local artist that's willing to teach, you've got a place that they can meet. But you've got to connect those things together. And you've got to build the relationships, the moms can just go see, you know, thank you for looking after my kids, they've got to do the relationship building and the trust. And all of this goes at the Speed of Trust, you know, but What's lovely about it is then you get to the mobilizing. Because at the end of that summer, everybody feels more confident, more buoyed up kids have aspirations that they didn't have previously. And what does everybody say at the end? What are we going to do next summer? How do we mobilize, get this going involve the men how about we get the boys involved? And now what you're creating is a new gang, a positive gang, where people belong, they feel productive, and they get to do things that contribute to the welfare of the community. That's what gangs offer in a negative sense. What this story is a story about discovering, connecting and mobilizing in a positive way and it's about localism, not consumerism. That's a great

Greg Voisen
story by the way, because it gives people an example that they can relate to almost anybody could relate to that. And you said the Speed of Trust. And it reminded me of a recent interview with Stephen Mr. Covey, who wrote the book, The Speed of Trust. And then his sister who was on for a book that had been in the works for 10 years since their father had died. Call life in crescendo. And it was really about, you know, when you think about it, as we age, we get the opportunity to continue to contribute. And I think that's what this is really all about, you know, is, what kind of contribution can we make? And probably, in this space, you speak about the gentle power of connectors, I've always been known by my community as a connector. What are the characteristics? And why are they so important to building a community of support and connectivity? Because, you know, those connectors seem to be the spark most of the time like that, for some reason, they end up looking and seeing connecting the dots, right? And it's not just connecting people, it's really connecting the dots around, how do we solve the problem? So tell us a little bit about those characteristics as you outline them in the book.

Cormac Russell
Yeah, so there, there are many, but there's six that we really zero in on and often, you know, try to invite people to see if they can find folks that might fit some or all of those. So the six characteristics, and it's important to say that we think about connectors as distinct from leaders. So one of the things that you'll see, the first characteristic is that they invest their energy in associational activities. So they're very focused on the Wii rather than the me. So you'll not hear them talk a lot about personal growth or me time, they're talking very much about how do we get folks connected to do things that they might be interested in doing together. So they're more focused on the choir than they are the elite solo singer. And they're really thinking that's, that's their nature, I don't, that you can train somebody to be a connector, they came into the world made this way, they very much enjoy belonging, and involvement and reciprocity, so that that's the first thing, their whole orientation is Association. The second characteristic is the achieve their ends, because they're trusted by the community. So they're not seen as being nosy as interfering in people's business. And their influence, which is important is it has nothing to do with the title with position or claim to authority. So I think in that sense, they're not in that second characteristic. They're not coming from a place of influencing by status. They're influencing their true relational welfare, and loss, right? A third characteristic is, they're really happy about giving credit away to people. So you'll regularly hear them, lift people up and feature people. So they're not trying to be more equal than eager. They're really trying to use their ability to shine a light on other people's gifts, and then to orientate the gifts of one person. So they'll say, Greg, you're a wonderful public speaker. And I know a group that could really benefit from your gift, could I introduce you to somebody who I think will really appreciate your capacities. So they don't ask, Will you volunteer for an activity, they will call you forth by your gift, they will know you and sometimes they'll see your gift before you do. And they will also know somebody that you will get on with like a house on fire. And they have the audacity to say, Would you allow me to introduce you to this person, because I think the two of you have just been waiting all your lives to meet each other. And so you really find it very hard to say no to a connection. But I think that's a critical piece. So they're very personal and how they talk. That's a fourth piece. They're talking to Greg, the gifted person who is and they'll, they'll speak in those terms. A fifth characteristic is they're not apologetic, so they're not doing this out of charity. They're not doing this because you know, oh, poor Cormac. He has no friends. Let's try and be nice to him. They're doing this because they genuinely believe that they can't be fully a community until comics gifts have been have been welcomed. in Psychology. They say that a mother's never happier than her most unhappy child. Well, a connected His mindset is to say that a community is never fully a community until the person most of the march and has brought their gifts into the center. So they're very much defining community, not by the strength of leadership in the community, but by the depth of associational life and are welcome for the stranger at the edge. So I think that's their nature. And of course, they're very sociable creatures as well. So, you know, they, they tend, they tend to, I would say, not be at the front of the room, with a microphone chairing the meeting, I think we're in the middle of the room congealing and bringing together maybe handing out cake and, you know, so that, that, that that's the best I think I can do in the short time to give people a feel for the characteristics as much well,

Greg Voisen
you know, it's a, it's certainly it was great in a, you gave almost all of the characteristics, and I think, in defining someone who is a connector, I think there's two words that are used, frequently used, one is connector and a Maven. You know, and, and in me being Jewish, you know, either one works, but the reality is, is that it is something that I am known for people almost interestingly kind of expect it, they're like, oh, Greg is going to introduce me to somebody again today. And you know, who's that going to be? And, and if I look at the number of emails that I send, for introductions, it's a lot. I spend a lot of time carefully thinking about, can this person make a connection? Could something spark what might happen as a result of that? And so my mind is always putting those dots together. And whether it's in your community, or it's through what you do, I think it's an important element, because you never know what's going to happen as a result of the willingness to make that introduction. And you know,

Cormac Russell
I can I can, I just had one thing that might be helpful for folks as well. What we noticed too, is that connectors are willing to step back. So after the connection is made, they don't have a need to possess that contract. And that's the distinction, I think, between a connector. And I don't want to over egg this, but perhaps a connector and a networker. networkers often talk about, you know, my network, connectors Don't talk about my connections. That's important.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's again, it's for the good life, it's for the greater good. They're, they're not in it for a personal gain. There's never a thought of a personal gain. It's about the we, not the me. And so that's how you make those connections. And if something good happens, and you hear back from somebody, great, you know, and you hope that it, that it did something, you know, in, in wrapping up our interview, that the book is filled with wonderful stories, we only got to talk about a few of those stories. But there's a lot of examples and advice on moving toward the connected community. If you would speak to the listeners with the tips that you provide to hold a discussion, which is the initial step that needs to be taken to discover, connect and mobilize the gifts of our neighborhoods. So basically, what I'm saying is the impetus, the starting point, right at the tip. You know, those discussions that need to be hold you, you spoke about it a little bit going out and you know, going door to door and talking to people and looking at assets and seeing what's available. What is this element at this tipping point?

Cormac Russell
Yeah, the tipping point. And I can give you a really, really quick story that because I think the question might be how do we do it on our street at very small scale? And the answer is learning conversations. You know, you can draw an arc you can go to where people are naturally connecting anyway, the bumping places and the gathering spaces, and just begin the process of finding out what people care about enough to act upon what they'd be willing to do for their neighbors help them. So in that sense, listening campaign, where you're going out, and you're listening. And an example of this, I have one of my favorite examples happened in Hodge Hill in Birmingham, where a Church of England Minister a pastor said, hey, I want to do I want to work this way. So I don't want to just set up projects I want to really connect the community and he found seven local people in his neighborhood who were really just good at connecting their community are good sociable people. And what he did was he said Well let's over 12, maybe 13 weeks let's just go without any agenda and give our community a good listening to and will be opportunistic, let's not make it hardship, duty or burdensome you guys already know lots of people. So just talk to the people you know, would be a little bit more intentional. Find out What's kind of moving this community? What are the priorities? What do people care about. And of course, if you got seven connectors that are already connected, I mean, most of them no 2030 people anywhere in the neighborhood, you got a lot of reach there already. And what they began to do also was, and this is the key tip, they began to be very, very thoughtful and very attuned to who are the other connectors in the neighborhood, who represent the diversity of that community represent, you know, reach into parts of the community, from an ethnicity point of view or agenda point of view that I don't in each point of view. And they found 93 other people, Greg, who are connectors as we've been talking about, so now they go from one pasture to eight people, seven on the pasture, to 100 people. And you know what they did, they went to those folks, and they sat with them, and they said, hey, you know that your neighbors are talking about you. And they're saying really positive things. So they told the stories back to the connectors that their neighbors had told about them. And then they said to those connectors, we'd like to have a party to celebrate you, to appreciate you to appreciate what you're doing. The local church is very kindly, they're not trying to convert you. So don't worry about that. But they want to offer the gift of their space to come and have a party with no agenda. So people have faith and have no faith just coming together as neighbors. And the ask of each of those connectors was would they bring four people from their block that they felt cared deeply about the kinds of conversations that were going on conversations that were about? What have we got? How can we use it to make a good life to make a decent life for everybody, but also the collectivize our voice to talk to outside agencies and make sure they're trustworthy, they're useful, and they're serving us? Well? Well, they had 500 People now in a room having a party sharing stories, good, traumatic, the whole mix. But stories that were really about that neighborhood about the tapestry of that neighborhood. And over the last seven years, they've done that every year. And they have built a really, really powerful, connected community that can do a lot of stuff locally, itself, but also is working much more collaboratively with outside agencies, police force, etc. And I really liked this idea, because what they're doing over a very, very steady course of time, is they're bringing the gifts of every single neighbor to the table. But they're also working much more effectively with outside providers and saying, Hey, we're not on our knees, we're partners here, there's things we can do ourselves. So remove the barriers, those things we need a little help with. So be collaborative, be on top, don't be on top. And then there's things you need to do to serve us. And you need to do that transparently and in an accountable way.

Greg Voisen
Well, you've given a great story about how to start that. And I think the book is also a great opportunity, the connected community to get a copy of the book. If anything this morning, during this podcast, or whatever time you're listening this to this podcast resonated with you definitely go to the website, because the resources at Carmacks website is nurture development dot o RG. There, you'll find lots of resources, there's downloads, you can basically a watch the TEDx talk, which I would recommend, but inside this book, there's a lot of resources as well. That's the great thing. So if you like reading, you know, get the book, go. And check out the website to learn more about what Cormac is advocating. And if you feel like your community is disconnected, not connected, which I think many people out there listening could relate to. Why don't you become the Maven who's listening to this podcast or the connector? Who could change that and find out what the resources are? And what are the assets and start your own? How do you want to call it start your own discussion groups and find out more? It'll grow from there. I think if you put the effort in it will grow from there. Cormac, you've been a pleasure having on the inside personal growth and speaking about your new book. And thanks for spreading the word about helping to make a good life really just a good life for everybody. That's what we're that's what we're attempting to do with all this work that we're doing. Thank you so much.

Cormac Russell
Thanks, Greg.

powered by

Joining me for this podcast is bestselling culture writer David Sax. He recently released his latest book entitled The Future Is Analog: How to Create a More Human World.

Being an award winning writer, journalist, and keynote speaker, David has been at the forefront of reporting and dissecting the intersection of business and culture for nearly two decades, including four internationally bestselling books, articles and appearances in nearly every major global news outlet, and dozens of keynote speeches to audiences around the world.

David’s latest one is The Future Is Analog: How to Create a More Human World where he lays out the case against a false digital utopia—and for a more human future. Moreover, David points out that the onset of the pandemic instantly gave us the digital universe we’d spent so long anticipating. Instant communication, online shopping, virtual everything.

Additionally, this book is a manifesto for a different kind of change; that we can spend our creativity and money on building new gadgets—or we can spend them on new ways to be together and experience the world, to bake bread, and climb mountains. All we need is the clarity to choose which future we want.

If you want to know more about David and his works, you may click here to visit his website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with David Sax. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

Bestselling culture writer David Sax lays out the case against a false digital utopia—and for a more human future

In The Future Is Analog, David Sax points out that the onset of the pandemic instantly gave us the digital universe we’d spent so long anticipating. Instant communication, online shopping, virtual everything.

It didn’t take long to realize how awful it was to live in this promised future. We craved real experiences, relationships, and spaces and got back to real life as quickly and often as we could.

THE AUTHOR

David is from Toronto, Canada but has also lived in New York, Buenos Aires, Rio de Janeiro, and Montreal in the past. The first article he wrote was for the Camp Walden newspaper at 16 years old. His parents used to send him Newsweek magazine to camp. He has always been a freelancer writer then he also started selling articles and books, then more articles and books, and then talks. Today, he mostly write books and give talks about those books.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Hey, well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And we have David Sax joining us. And David has a new book out. He's joining us from Toronto, Canada. The Future is Analog: How to Create a More Human World? Well, we definitely need to do that. David. The big question is, probably most of my listeners is how, right so you know, but it's good to have you on the show. And then I'm going to tell my listeners a little bit about you, your writer, reporter speaker who specializes in business and cultures. His he's has other books out, but one is the revenge of analog was the number one post best seller. He's also been translated into six languages. He's author of three other books, save the deli, which is why a James Beard Award, the soul of an entrepreneur, and the tastemakers and as I said, he lives in Toronto. And he's a wonderful writer. That's the key. This book is easy to read a lot of great stories, opportunity for people to explore themselves, what it would be to be more analog versus more digital. Now, you know, you in the introduction is but you tell a great story about being invited to speak at a conference in Korea, about your prior book, The revenge of analog, and you were greeted by a reporter Hey, David. Hey, David, you know, they ran up to you. I remember reading that part in the but what do you think about the fourth industrial revolution, the reporter said, and you being a prior reporter, you had a little snide remark. But can you tell the story and why your passion for returning to more of a community and humanistic kind of lifestyle? I mean, it almost seems like we're ensconced in this is a world you know, and there is a way to be more human. And I'd love to know what you think.

David Sax
Yeah. So the story is kind of this random one, I was invited to speak in Seoul at this big fancy business conference. So it's like, Great, awesome, and everybody degree before you're paying me a lot of money. Great. You know, business class ticket, I'll take it awesome. Get off the flight, you know, 13 hours in the air. I'm just like, exhaust Laster to the side of my head. And my mouth smells like death. And all of a sudden, there's this TV crew running off of David tax saver. Tax. I was like, yes. You know, like, I just got out of luggage. When you're like, what do you think about the I think it was the fifth industrial revolution or fourth industrial revolution? I thought what you think about the fourth industrial revolution, I was like, what is like the convergence of AI and super sentient beings, the digital future, I was like, Oh, I don't know, I'm more interested in the analog feature, which was the reason I was brought there is to sort of talk about this. And my book was actually a big hit in Korea, which I found out the next day randomly. But it that kind of triggered this thought process that that I had, which eventually led to this book in some way. Plus the pandemic. And it was this assumption that that reporter had had really summed up that when we talk about the future, we're talking about digital. When we talk about the future, we're talking about computers, we're talking about technology, we're talking about hardware, we're talking about software, we're talking about AI, you know, this is the framework with which we have to approach the future, whether we're in business, whether we're in government, whether we're in culture, whether it's in our individual lives, the future is digital. How many times that people said, well, we live in a digital world, or we're gonna live in a digital world, right? How many times you hear that? Greg? All the time, all the time, right? And no one ever questioned that notion. No one ever says Hold on. What do you mean by that? What do you mean digital world? We're humans, right? We live on a planet that has real consequences. You know, it's a planet that we're warming very quickly. And we, we the most important thing right now is not like what our phone looks like. But it's like, how hot the water is off the coast of San Diego, where you are? And what effect is that going to have on I don't know drinking water and forest fires and our livability as a species. And yet, we've been so incredibly focused these past 25 or so years, on digital because of what it's brought us because of the changes made that the idea of a digital future was just this accepted form of reality. And then what happened was the pandemic right Back got sick somewhere in China three years ago. And, you know, chain reaction just went away the butterfly effect The Black Swan, and suddenly, you know, it's March 2020, we're all inside, living that digital future, right, we're going to school and working and socializing and doing everything in our lives, online, all of our Congress, everything, everything, all of our socializing all of our commerce, all of our culture, all of our religion, all of our everything is being done through digital devices through hardware and software. And in many ways, we're living the predicted future that has been promised to us and sold to us by Silicon Valley. For many years, you know, this was it all, you know, in the future, you're gonna be able to work from wherever and schools won't even be buildings, people learn from the best teachers everywhere on Earth. And if you want something, you'll just say it to a speaker to a thing, it'll pick it up and it'll be dropped at your door. Isn't that going to be wonderful? And then we lived through it. Right? And very quickly, we realized, this is not the future we bargained for. Or if it was like, it actually stinks. A large part of it. And so this book is really asking that question of really, okay, well, what, what did we learn about not just the limits of digital, but the values of analog of the real physical face to face spaces, relationships, interactions that we have as humans in this world? And, and what kind of a future we want to build that elevates those where they matter? Right? Yeah, and wow,

Greg Voisen
the technology has advanced us in almost every area of our life, and much of it to the positive.

David Sax
Here we are. Video call...

Greg Voisen
zoom. But the social interaction part, I get the isolation part, I understand, we're going to talk about that. Because, you know, it has done more to our psyche, as far as I'm concerned with relation to like, you and I here right now, you know, it's like, hey, we can talk to anybody across the world, I get an interview tomorrow in Dublin, Ireland, with the guy, another author, you know, it's like, it is pretty amazing to be able to capture this media, and then reshare it, give it to the world and all that. But I also understand that I missed that physical connection to sit with David and have a cup of coffee. Right? And, and really, you know, see David's reactions and, you know, listen to his emotions, and so on. And we also Well, remember this outbreak, a COVID-19. I know exactly where it was, at the time when it happened in 2018, that changes that thrust upon us. And here we are three years later, still dealing with the issues of it, you know, it isn't gone. That's for certain. But in your estimation,

David Sax
I just had it three weeks ago.

Greg Voisen
Yeah. You know, and I didn't get it. But I had a bad flu. And it was, you know, it felt like I had it. But my point, in your estimation, what is the significant impact to the digital versus analog world? And what do you mean by kind of an analog future? How do these coexist? In other words, we have kind of much of us displaced one for the other. And I think we're coming back to this balance between the two, it's almost like a homeostasis, right. It's like, okay, our body wants this homeostasis. But how do we kind of get there, David, we, we kind of feel like, okay, we're, we're, you know, let's go get Uber and have Uber Eats, and let's go, you know, instead of going to the theater, we're going to turn on Netflix, and we're going to watch a great thing on Netflix, and it's just so ingrained in us now. And I do miss that other side. And I have to admit, I'm probably one of them who's not doing as much socializing, but I should be.

David Sax
Yeah, I think the term you use their balances the great one, right? Because the promise of the digital future, and, and, and the sort of philosophical underpinning of the people who are creating it and selling it, and I say, the term Silicon Valley, I don't mean people just working in the Bay Area. You know, we're talking about anyone who's involved in sort of designing, promoting, and selling, marketing this technology as the future. And it's really based on this idea of exponential growth, right? It's Moore's law. It's like the, every 18 months, the microprocessors are going to shrink in size and doubling power and having speed and, and that's why your phone keeps getting better and better and a computer does too, but it kind of cost the same dollar amount as it did in 1980. And that allows for constant new innovations. so on, and that just keeps going up and up. And that I think was this notion of inevitability, that if this year we're doing 10% of our transactions online through online shopping, the next year, it'll be 12%. And after that, it'll be 15. After that'd be 20. And, and until we won't need stores, we won't need these things. Because this, inevitably, everything's going to sort of move in that direction. But it wasn't there yet. There was this balance, right, even people were people were doing remote work, people were using zoom, people were working remotely, but it was a smaller percentage of people, right. And that would happen was with COVID-19, we were all kind of like, dunked into this immersion in in a fully digital existence, or an almost fully digital existence in almost every aspect of our lives. And it was, in a way this test drive, if you want to call it of that digital future. But we very quickly tip that balance, where digital became the dominant force. And so we instantly saw within days, what was working for us and what wasn't with that bounce, right. And I think each individual, each company, each organization felt that differently. So work is a great example, right? Because it's really the one that's still being figured out. And for some people, it's like, this is great, I never want to go back to an office again, this works great for me, maybe the company's like, This is fabulous for us, you know, this is it, we're done with offices, terminate the leases, you know, sell off the chairs, close the boardroom, you know, send the plans home, we're good with this, and others where it was like, Well, hold on, I really missed that I want to get back to that office, like I missed my routine, I miss I miss the commute, I missed all the aspects, I missed the people, I miss the space, I missed being able to manage people and see them, whatever it is. And now what's happening, especially in work, is figuring out that homeostasis, right, is figuring out what that balance is based on our current needs. And our previous experience of the past couple of years, where, you know, that fully digital experiment was conducted. And, you know, the feeling of it was unmistakable. Like people. It was very visceral. And I think that was that was the interesting part of it.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, and I do. I know, I have a son that works at Adobe. And I've watched this gradual comeback to work three days a week kind of thing. Yeah, I've seen this happen in many of these digital economy kind of businesses, right? Obviously, the brick and mortar businesses, they've kind of always been there restaurants, hospitals, places where people have to serve others. 24/7. Right. Yeah, that's been there. But we have seen that shift back again, and it is working. It is working. He's telling me, hey, Dad, you know, it's working. We're finding this balance, again, to be able to work remotely, and also come back in and have great meetings and talk to one another and have that interaction. And it's good. So I think we're seeing that you speak about the major shift in working over 30% of American workers working from home. I'm surprised it was.

David Sax
Yeah, that was that was I think, at the height of the pandemic. Yeah. But

Greg Voisen
you know, to me, it seems like it was even more because that's, you even said in your book, you look, you only gone into an office once and it was to do some publishing something or another. You've always worked from home. I haven't always worked from home. I used to have a business with employees, and they used to come in just like you were talking about, but that's shifted has impacted our mental health. I think this is a key here. And our job level satisfaction, then the measurement that we use, at least if you're kind of like me is what are the winds? What are the winds I had today, right? And it's so difficult to measure in a digital world because it just keeps coming up on the screen. And there's always more to do your to do list keeps getting longer and bigger and more exasperated to try and finish it. So job level satisfaction went down mental health problems went up and you quoted on an Arnold, I'm sorry, Aaron Dinham, a business coach and author is saying it revealed that we do not have a good grasp on what makes work. In your estimation, what does the future of work look like? I wrote a book called wisdom, wellness and redefining work about I don't know 2012. And I remember as I was writing that book, I was investigating all of these elements. And what does the future of work life.

David Sax
I mean, I think long term, the future work probably holds a lot in common with the past work, right? Because the things that we think of his work. And we thought of his work prior to the pandemic, were very much the sort of deliverable and measurable and quantifiable tasks that we did in order to get paid or create a product or a service or sell it. Right. And so we were able to take those very quickly and easily, like we're talking days, every company did it small companies, small businesses, large corporations, nobody went bankrupt was like, I don't know, we can figure out how to move this whole business online. You know, if it was a business that Delton information and services, everyone was able to sort of do it really quickly. And yet, that sense of dissatisfaction, that sense of depression, that sense of losing ideas, of some sort of magic coming off of it, I think that's a pretty pervasive thing that's happened. And what Aaron Dignam was saying about we don't know what makes work is we, we looked at the whole some of work, like you talked about your company that you had in an office, and we're like, Okay, we have these individuals sitting in these desks in this configuration of an office, and they're doing this stuff. And this stuff is the this stuff is the GDP, it's the economic engine, it's the it's the where the money comes from. It's the it's the it's the activity, activity, the cogs that make the machine turn, right, right. And all this other stuff around them. The water cooler, the bathrooms, the building the architecture, the coffee shop downstairs, the sad office lunch, you know, cake for Susan, whose birthday it is the retirement party, the 10 minutes of chat between meetings, this is this is all superfluous wasted stuff. It's just like, extra trappings that come along with it. And now we can actually just the, you know, the promise of remote work, the promise of virtual offices, which has been around for, you know, talking 4050 years, right, yeah, paperless office, notion came out. And remote work. And telecommuting, like this is all from like, late 70s, early 80s, this sort of vision of this is like, if we cut out all that stuff, we're going to be so much more productive, people have much more time, they'll be happier, will be more focused on the task at hand. And all that other BS commuting, chit chat, office politics, blah, blah, blah, that's going to be a done by so it's gonna be it's gonna be this revolution in working. And I think in many ways that that has occurred at some organizations or people have noticed, yeah, you know, I don't have to deal with the rest of the stuff. It's much more efficient. And yet, there's a lot of that stuff that I think people actually didn't realize the value of until it was gone. Right, the value of seeing other humans outside your house, who you work with, in person on a daily basis, is actually tremendously valuable. Because what happens in those interactions, it's not like now we're having a work interaction. Now we're having a personal interaction, things bleed into one another, those relationships, build trust and confidence. And those confidence and trust is what allows ideas and thoughts and honesty to sort of flow and germinate. And that allows for new ideas for you know, shifts in strategy, whatever, that doesn't come as easily when everybody's separated online. So your son works for Adobe, it's a fabulous company. I've been there before, when I was researching one of my other books, to their offices in San Francisco. And, you know, they're very focused on getting individuals to talk and interact with each other. And do it in all sorts of different ways. Because it is a company that's based upon software for creative individuals, and they need creative ideas. And it's very hard to create that when everybody is off in their own world. And it's like, okay, I need a creative idea from you, Greg, go, right. Yeah, it doesn't happen that way, where maybe we're banging our heads against our desk, because we're trying to figure out a new, I don't know, Photoshop, application thing or whatever. And it's like, sudo, get a coffee and we go downstairs and get a coffee, we go for a walk around the block. In San Francisco, we see something, that thing gives us an idea we're having conversation, and it turns into the next great feature, or whatever it is. Right. And I think, again, you know, the future of work, I think is going to be that mix. It's going to be I really identifying the parts of work. That doesn't really matter whether you do them online or here, you know, expense reports, right. You know, skin You will linger calendars or, or something like, you know, the process oriented emails or programming, right? Like, if someone's sitting there programming and an office is, you know, doing it, like at home, maybe that like specific type of program or your code writing or whatever is, is, you know, accounting, I don't know, like all these, you know, very sort of process oriented things. But then what are the elements of it that actually aren't as quantifiable that you can't pay? Well, this contributes to the bottom line. And you know, we studied it, and this is how many hours people are working in, therefore, doesn't it? It's like that coffee break that walk the, the relationships even you know, what, what one gentleman interviewed for the book, Andres Hoff Brower called embodied cognition, which is like the awareness around ideas, and understanding of group ideas that an individual employee or worker will get simply by walking through the office every day, so that you walk by, and I see Greg's desk, and there's a sketch of something and that sketch evolves. And I see it out of the corner of my eye every day when I walk to the elevator. And all of a sudden, you go and give your presentation. And I already have an idea of it. Because I've seen it, I've seen the things you've been pinning up, I hear snippets of you talking about it when we meet up at the watercooler or whatever, right? Those things actually have a value. And sometimes it's hard to put $1 sign on them. But that's something that we have to accept, right? Because not everything is this notion of efficiency. And then

Greg Voisen
this and there is a difference, David to between the way the generations work, there's been lots of studies, right? You got the Gen Z years, Gen X, you've got, you know, all these generations in the workplace today. And, you know, the pandemic, I think, had maybe less than an impact on the younger generation, like, say Gen Z, because that's what they really like. But

David Sax
see, I'm very, very skeptical about that. Anytime someone makes a generational a sweeping generation, generational generalization, I, my ears, my, my ears go up. And I'll tell you why. Right? Because those things, maybe survey a tremendous number of people and say, Well, we did a survey of 1000 people, and this is what we found. Right? All right, we've observed this behavior. You're talking about a sweeping generalization about, I don't know, hundreds of millions of people across the globe. Right.

Greg Voisen
But I think they're talking about their values. What did what each generation values? I'm not saying we don't have common values? Sure. We do. We look, I'm 68 years old. So look, I, I've been around awhile. And I recognize that my generation has we I can see it happening. And sometimes customer service is a great example. So when I was growing up, it was like paramount. Today, you're lucky if you get any customer service kind of almost anywhere. Other than maybe Apple, I'll just put a big thing out for Apple. So yeah, exactly. My point is, is that I do believe there are some value differences. And there's been a shift in the way in which people work, we're talking about work, how we work. Look, you can look to your father even and go, he probably woke up every morning to go do something can't come home to you know, take care of the kids, your mom did the same thing. We're still seeing that. But we're seeing it done in a different way. I do believe the stressors today are actually they seem to be greater the actual stressors of living in the world today. And that brings me to a question which I don't want to skip this one, which is you have kids, and you even wrote the book about how it was to kind of tear your hair out while they were trying to learn over the internet. Right? Yeah. So we've seen the fallout of the pandemic. My wife was a school teacher for 25 years, how our digital system and the attempts to digitize learning. You state in your chapter on school, that nowhere did the utopian idea of the digital future crash harder on the rocks of analog reality than with school? I would agree with you. Can you tell us the story of Larry Cuban and what he told you about the education he said what the education really was, and what you believe the future of education should be? I think this is a big one. This is a really big one actually.

David Sax
Yeah. So you know, the promise of digital education even as an idea as an ideology predates computers, right? Thomas Edison, late 19th century, early 20th century is coming up with all sorts of inventions, among them, you know, early forms of radio, you know, the first kind of photographs and recorded Sound and film, right? And he's saying, Look, this is transformative, we are not going to need schools in the future. Because why would you have a bunch of people sitting in a room that you have to pay for and staff and shoveling snow for and do whatever, when the best minds can deliver lectures to students anywhere, at any time, students shouldn't be trapped in this sort of specific space. And that grew, you know, as digital computers evolved, especially going into the sort of 1980s and 90s, CD ROMs and the Internet and, you know, streaming video into all sorts of promises around this, right. And, you know, the One Laptop per Child initiative from Nicholas Negroponte and folks at MIT, the MOOC movement from Sebastian Thrun at Google and, and lots of brilliant folks in Silicon Valley and Stanford, were saying, Look, we're going to videotape the best lectures of the best university, they're gonna be open to everyone in this in the future, we're not gonna have university campuses, and, and giving laptops to kids giving tablets to every student in the LA school district as they did about 10 years ago. Every one of these things was a dismal failure, not like a weird, like, total, complete failure, right? The MOOC movement, the best, brightest minds, and tons of money behind it, when they rolled it out to universities, the universities, California college system, in a couple of sort of pilot projects was like 10% of people finished the course 10%, could you imagine a university course where 10% of people finished it, that professor would be fired immediately, and the department would be shut down, right? So, you know, still 10s if not hundreds of billion dollars be invested in ed tech, a lot of it, not all of it, but a lot of it with the promise of like, schools are at an institution that's obsolete and need to be disrupted. This is ridiculous that we put all these people sitting in this chair, staring at this person online. This isn't how we should learn, right? And then along comes the pandemic and every single student in the world, except for some in New Zealand, kindergarten all the way to grad school are doing this for their school in right platforms, you know, best most, you know, highly funded private schools, Harvard, MIT, Oxford, the Tsar bone, the fanciest private high school and elementary school and the richest parts of the richest countries of the world. And, of course, all the public schools, right, you know, with their varying levels of, of lower funding everywhere, and everywhere was a feeling. Right? Like students, students, you know, comprehension went down, their marks weren't down, their learning went down, their antisocial behaviors went up, rise of depression, Rise of, of a lack of motivation, and I saw it with my own kids who were in kindergarten and second grade. I mean, it was just dismal to watch. Yeah, how unmotivated, how bored how they learn specific things. They learned facts my son learned to read in that time, mostly by reading books at here, but you know, his teachers did their best, but it was, it was clearly not a success. And so, to get to Larry Cuban, Larry Cuban is a professor at Stanford who studies the history of education technology. And he began as a booster of ad tech in the early 80s, but quickly saw.

David Sax
So Larry Cuban is a professor at Stanford University who studies digital technology in education and the history and sort of reality of it. He began in the 80s, being a booster of ad tech, but very quickly saw the limitations of that, when it put was put into practice. And he explained to me in in the most wonderfully clear way, what what's going on, he said that digital technology just like film, and sound as Edison didn't even print is it is a tremendous vehicle for the delivery of information, right? Information, which we think is the core of education, learning, one plus one, learning how to read learning, comprehension, learning, science, learning all these different things. It's the information. But he said an education isn't information, right? Education is fundamentally a human relationship between the teacher and their students, between students each other, between the students in the school and the community surrounding it, whether we're talking about an elementary school in your neighborhood or university campus, and in the city, in the state where it's in, and its alumni network, you know, go beavers, or whatever. And, and he said, and that human relationship is actually what allows for learning. Because when you think back to the best teachers you've ever had, and I'm challenging to name one right now, who's one of the best teachers you ever had Greg,

Greg Voisen
a guy in high school, Dr. Or no doctor. He taught me environmental sciences. I can't remember his name, but I was really fascinated by the subject.

David Sax
Right. But was it the facts he taught you? Or was it how he taught?

Greg Voisen
No, it was, I think it was my curiosity about the topic, I was extremely curious and still happen to this day. I mean, we're talking High School to 68 years old, just like you were speaking about earlier, the aggregation of, you know, co2 emissions and water and everything. And I've been a big advocate of that. So I think it was the fact that he was teaching something that I went into a course and I was like, wow, I just wanted to just, I have this insatiable curiosity about.

David Sax
But that's it, right? People remember who the teacher is they remember the sub Mr. Alexander, but you may not remember the specific facts that Mr. Alexander, right. And those facts are available to you. But I'm sure the way he taught and the relationship he built with his class, or at least with you was, you know, the core of what that was. And what Larry Cuban says is, this is a tremendous medium, for transmitting information, you want to learn about climate change, and the planetary sciences and Environmental Sciences, you know, go to Google, go to YouTube, go look online, you can find un papers, animations for kids, you know, everything you want, interactive, things are whatever. But in order to remake, you truly care about that, and turn that information into knowledge requires that relationship. And that is cut off when you do this, right. When you remove students from the class, when you remove teachers from that personal relationship, and they're just delivery, delivery mechanisms for information. That's the difference. And that's why it failed. And so when you think about the future of education, it's not more tech in the classroom, it's less tech in the classroom, or if there's tech, the tech is either there to learn specifically about the technology like computer science, for example, or for coding or any sort of STEM type subject that will use computers as a tool, or it's in the background. Right. It's they're working with the administration, it's helping the future plan their lesson, but it doesn't get in the way. And some of the most interesting school and most successful school systems in the world, like the Finnish education system, they have very little tech, they have very little standardized testing, right? It's actually more about engaging as much as possible with the student on a human level, to get them curious and interested in learning that makes those systems successful, where the American system is almost entirely based on sort of a quantifiable measure of information retention and success, which is you know, the

Greg Voisen
the take the LSAT, or take the various Yeah, crazy

David Sax
focus on standardized testing, which is delivered like mediocre results, America ranks in the middle of worlds, you know, global measures of, of how well it educates its population.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think the studies that have substantiated what you're talking about Larry Cuban, you know, as I was speaking with Dan Bitner the guy that wrote the Blue Zones book, right, so Dan was on here about a week ago and got any of these demographers went around, studied where people lived over 100 years old. We just got into this discussion. about apps, changing behavior, and an app on the phone, right changing a behavior, billions of dollars put into apps. And he said, you know, what we found is the rate of retention there is so low that after seven months of years, no one's using those apps anymore to actually track their weight or track the food they're eating or make a substantial change there, right? This is about education, right? One on One education one on one, he said, but when you change the environment, in which the people live, that's when you can have a change. So they go into a city, they change the laws, they say, Hey, look, we're going to serve better food, we're going to have bicycle paths, we're going to do whatever we need. And he's actually been able to lower the BMI from three to 4%, and a whole city, full cities, right? I loved his approach, because what he's saying is, look, when you change our options in the environment, right, it's like a school, right? Being in a school, the school, the environment of the school, to me when I was going to school was as big a part of anything, versus being stuck in my bedroom in front of a screen, right? That isn't the most appropriate environment. Okay. So I loved in college, going from classroom to classroom learning from Professor to professor, interacting with kids over lunch and doing whatever I mean, let's face it, that's

David Sax
college. That's not the stuff you learn, right? Like wearing their Yale sweater, because they're like, well, actually, I learned these facts that, like, these are the people I met. These are the relationships I built, right. This is why I paid, you know, fought to get in and paid so much money to build these relationships and immerse myself in this physical analog environment in order to learn in this place, right. So I could wear this sweater while I'm jogging, Central Park, or whatever.

Greg Voisen
Well, I want to be sensitive to your time, and I have lots more questions. But I do want to let my listeners know that this book touches every day is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I think one of the most important ones that you speak about, really is Sunday. And I'll tell you why. Because you're speaking about something that's this integration of the soul and some spirituality. And you start your Sunday thing off, I thought it was quite funny about you putting on your wetsuit to go surfing, who the hell goes surfing in Toronto, and the freezing cold but I guess you do have to be really like, quite ridiculous to want to go out. But me. Maybe you're learning cold baths. I love that because it maybe you're going to extend your lifespan? Can you tell the listeners a story and getting out in nature as to how nurturing that is for our souls, regardless of the weather conditions or any other excuses we might make up to deter our adventure into the wilderness because to me, that is really, for me, that's my reconnection everything is going into riding my bike or going down to the beach or walking in the woods or doing anything. And I think that's part of what this world needs more.

David Sax
Yeah, there's a wonderful gentleman that I talked to for the book, Richard loove, who is a San Diegan I know, wrote, you know, Last Child in the Woods is really a figurehead in American life for reconnecting ourselves with nature. Yeah, and I think this is something that everyone during the course of the pandemic suddenly discovered, right? Because you are now you know, kind of like a child free to sit inside and eat all the crap you want all the candy, you want all the bread, all the pastry, you know, go drink and you know, take all the weed gummies you want and you can watch as much Netflix as you want. There's nowhere to go anymore, like just sit inside and like binge whatever show you wanted. And I think within a few days or weeks, most people like our attic, I gotta I gotta get out of here. And people would walk like you would go in cities towns everywhere. People were just walking you go on hiking trails and they were packed bike sales went through the roof. They you know, they sold out bikes they sold out of bikes worldwide. Yeah. I've two friends who own bike stores. It's the only reason why children on bicycles. You know, everything was just anything that was outdoors was in such high demand. Even here in Toronto, where people surf the worst possible waves in the worst possible weather. You no subzero temperatures, wind wave slop, dirty water, like the surf store was selling out of waves in wetsuits.

Greg Voisen
Said you surf for any at a condom float Wow, that was

David Sax
that was Yeah. I had that happened in California to thank you for at least having safe sex. But you know, it, it showed that yearning for something beyond our screens that this isn't sufficient for the body and for the soul. And you know, I had a wonderful week last week, I was on book tour in the West Coast of the US. So, you know, I found myself on the first day in San Francisco, and it really had nothing to do till my event that night. And I love San Francisco, and it was a beautiful, like blue, blue sky day. And I like when I rented an E bike, you know, and went along the water and then hiked all these paths all along, pass the Golden Gate Bridge all the way to Sunset Beach. Like the cliffs above looking at the ocean, it was just, it was so wonderful. It was like, all I needed. And I was so content, and so happy. And then the next day in Portland, and I came in from Seattle, Seattle was pouring, pouring rain, miserable, pouring rain. But Seattle, the rain had just ended. And I walked through the forest there in Washington Park, and like, just covered in pine needles and feeling so alive and the smell of all of that. And then the last day I was in LA, and in LA, it was raining for the first time in six months. But my friend and I went on a hike in in, you know, just outside Malibu, in a canyon, and we were covered in mud. And it was like, it was great. It was amazing. It was such a wonderful thing. And why it's like, this is something we need. And I think we've realized that right? This is like a fundamental human need that we can't replace with a peloton bike and like a simulation of morality through the world. Right. And I think this is that that soul aspect where it's like, you know, church services, synagogue services, mosque services, you know, Buddhist meditations, transcendental California and yoga, like all of that went online, you could zoom, you could you could sign up, you can stream every class, audio, video, virtual reality, whatever. It's just, it's insufficient. People wanted to go back to those places, and sit in uncomfortable positions in order to be connected to something bigger than themselves. And that's connected with the people with them, and connected to the person who's delivering the sermon or talk or service or experience. And that sense that you're part of something bigger, right?

Greg Voisen
Yeah, no, it is important. The community, you talk about it in the book, and those everything. That's everything. Yes. Like, I was like you I was brought up Jewish, but I didn't like, keep that. I'm a member of self-realization fellowship here in Encinitas, right. And that temple was shut down for two years, literally two years, including the meditation grounds, which are beautiful right on the beach in Encinitas. And I was like, wow, these guys are so conservative. Why don't they let us go outdoors, because these are outside meditation gardens. And, and yet, they were still closed, you couldn't get into him? That was like, to me, it was like, just ridiculous. So I started on my own meditation gardens, right. So we find ways to make up for it. I'm gonna make this last question. Because you know, timing. Your book is a place for our readers and our listeners to question how they're living their lives, and provides new perspectives about an analog approach to living. What reflection would you like to leave listeners with about the future is analog? If you were to leave them with one or two things? What would you advise them? What might you encourage them to think about or to do?

David Sax
That's a great question. I would, you know, went through a very traumatic time, the past couple of years pandemic. And certainly, you know, nobody's yearning to go back there. And so there's this desire to kind of move on, right. But I think we actually went through something really valuable, which is that we all got to live this experiment in this promise digital future that is still being sold to us and pitched to us by people like Mark Zuckerberg, and his metaverse. Virtual Reality sort of fantasyland. And businesses are still trying to sell us on this. And, and, and I think, whenever someone tells you something about the future, we now have this gauge that we can sort of look back and say, Hey, was my What was that part of my life better when it was all digital? And what did I realize about the things that are analog, that are physical, that are tactile, that are human, that are sort of paternal? Right? Like going for a hike or going surfing or meditating? Or you know that I actually really value? And so if we're able to realize the parts that humanize us, the mouse and make those a core value of what we do. Then when any new technology comes along, we can we can judge that technology against it. And we could say, Is this going to elevate my human experience? Is it going to make me more connected to others to myself, to my coworkers to the world around me? Or is this actually competing with it? Is this trying to disrupt it and take it away? And I think we'll know, in our own lives, where we fall with that, and we can make conscious decisions about which technology to adapt, and which technology to, you know, say, No, thanks, Mark. I'm good. I'm good with reality.

Greg Voisen
Well, David, it's been a pleasure having you on Inside Personal Growth. And I think and to conclude this, from my perspective, after having read the book, and I want to all the readers to go out and get a copy, the future is analog. The other thing is go to David Sax, s-a-x.com. You can learn more about David there that book, his other books. One thing that I think that I took away from it, is, if you look at all the days, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, say that you kind of used as a stepping off point to write about commerce, and to write about education, and to write about these various things was when you kind of pull it all together. The humanistic side of being much more compassionate, loving to ourselves and to others is, is truly at the essence of, you know, we need to be more kind to others and ourselves. Right? The digital world sometimes doesn't look at kindness and compassion, it looks at productivity, and how do you generate the next thing so that you can make some more money, right or monetization, right? And our world, meaning this Western world has embraced it so heavily. And it's such a bias, that breaking that bias that we have is tough, I get that for all my listeners out there who are on the path, like I said, try and find some balance, we're not going to get rid of the digital world altogether. But we could bring in more of this humanistic side, which you said, there's more of this community support side this more support. I know my nonprofit that the author support, I go out and give away $100 gift cards to people that are out on the streets that are homeless. Right. And, and I think the most important thing here is this. You can have you can coexist in both of these worlds. And you can do it with more peace, compassion and harmony for yourself and for others. And that if that's all you take away from this book, that's the greatest thing you could take away from

David Sax
a man. That's fabulous. Yes, yeah. I'm gonna namaste to that.

Greg Voisen
Okay, well, no, I'm gonna say to you, my friend, have a good next podcast. I appreciate you. Sorry for a few technical difficulties, but thanks for being on the show

David Sax
at the analog reality that is thank you crack this. Pleasure. All right. Take care!

Greg Voisen
Thanks, David. Bye

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My guest for this podcast is Cultivating Leadership‘s CEO and founding partner Jennifer Garvey Berger. She recently released her new book co-authored by Carolyn Coughlin entitled Unleash Your Complexity Genius: Growing Your Inner Capacity to Lead (The Stanford Briefs).

Jennifer believes that leadership is one of the most vital renewable resources in the world. Hence, she designs and teaches leadership programs, coaches senior teams, and supports new ways of thinking about strategy and people with clients facing these dramatic shifts in complexity, volatility, and change in their workplaces and markets. Her clients include Google, Microsoft, Novartis, Wikipedia, and Oxfam International.

With much skills and experiences, Jennifer also has written several books about leadership and just last August, she, along with co-author Carolyn Coughlin, released her latest one entitled Unleash Your Complexity Genius: Growing Your Inner Capacity to Lead (The Stanford Briefs). This book offers a set of practices that help you not only understand complexity but actually hack into your own nervous system to bring your natural capacities back online. By paying close attention to your body, redefining your emotional experiences, and connecting more deeply to others, you can transform the anxiety, exhaustion, and overwhelm that complexity creates.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Jennifer, you may click here to visit her company website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Jennifer Garvey Berger. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

There is a complexity paradox that we all need to understand. We humans have a natural inclination towards connection, engagement, and creativity – all necessary skills to thrive in complexity. The problem is that the stress caused by uncertainty and ambiguity makes it difficult to tap into this inclination when we need it the most. Unleash Your Complexity Genius offers a set of practices that help you not only understand complexity but actually hack into your own nervous system to bring your natural capacities back online. By paying close attention to your body, redefining your emotional experiences, and connecting more deeply to others, you can transform the anxiety, exhaustion, and overwhelm that complexity creates. Better still, as you unleash your natural complexity genius, you create the conditions for those around you to flourish in an uncertain world.

THE AUTHOR

Jennifer believes that leadership is one of the most vital renewable resources in the world. In this topsy-turvy time, when uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity are raging, we need a new form of leadership for a new era. She designs and teaches leadership programs, coaches senior teams, and supports new ways of thinking about strategy and people. Jennifer also supports executives one-on-one as a leadership coach. She supports clients to find their current growing edge and then make choices about how they want to develop. She teaches coaches around the world transformational and developmental coaching approaches in her Growth Edge Coaching certification series.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Well welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host, and Jennifer Garvey Berger is on the other end of the line all the way in France. And we're going to be talking about a book that she has authored. She's authored many. Unleash Your Complexity Genius: Growing Your Inner Capacity to Lead. And Carolyn Coghlan was her co-author on this as well, I want to make sure that she gets a shout out from us as well. Good evening to you, I'll say because for you it is in here. It's bright in the morning. How are you doing juniper?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Doing great. Thanks for having me.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's a pleasure to have you on the show, it's always good to have authors that are talking about something that's very current. And this one is definitely something that's very current and that people, you know, need to know more about. And I'm gonna let them know a little bit about you, Jennifer. She believes that leadership is one of the most vital renewable resources in the world. In this topsy turvy time, when uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity are raging, we need a new form of leadership for new air. While it might be in the natural to experience the swirling currents of change, as threatening force to be survived and inconvenience, to be managed, those who lead us into the future see complexity as the natural state of the world. And that's what Jennifer does a good job of speaking about. She designs and teaches Leadership Program coaches, senior teams, support news ways of thinking, you as I said, we're going to be speaking about this book. And we also have another book that I'm gonna mention is Well, Jennifer supports executives, one on one leadership coaching over the decades, she's developed growth edge coaching approach supports clients to find their current growing edge and make choices about how they want to develop, well, you have a wonderful background. And for those of you who want to learn more, just go to cultivating leadership.com, that's cultivating leadership.com, we'll put a link to that in the blog as well. So Jennifer, let's just kind of start this off, you know, at the website. So for my listeners, please go to the website, because there's a huge team of people that are consulting and coaching leaders. And you state that you help organizations thrive and complexity and your kind of bag has been to steady complexity, you know, and how it works. This obviously comes down to the individual within the culture of the organization, knowing what to do to make things better during complex times for themselves and for the culture of the organization. You stated in the introduction of the book, that complexity tends to trigger us and makes us anxious and afraid. And that's the, for me right now kind of the key in the world is this anxiousness. The prevalence of fear that normally doesn't lead us anyplace good. Now, let's face it, given the complex times we live in now, and how did you help individuals better cope and respond to challenging times like we're living in, especially leaders inside of companies?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, I mean, this, this point, you're making that fear doesn't tend to lead us to very helpful places are super important, right? Yeah. And, and very often, people don't even notice that they're afraid, right? They noticed they have to do things, they noticed that they're kind of maybe stressed that they're talking faster or moving faster than they usually do, or whatever. But this kind of low level of fear that comes from our nervous system, they don't so much pay attention to right as fear or even discomfort, they just feel it as busyness. And so the first thing we have leaders do is notice, because you can't really change anything until you begin to notice where you are. And so the first way we help leaders is to get a handle on what's going on for me right now. What's going on for us right now, what is the challenge that we're facing? What is our habit about handling a challenge like that? And what new tools might we have that might be more useful? Give them given where we are,

Greg Voisen
yeah, and the tools, we're gonna get into them, the gyms that you have created in this book, but you know, it's the makeup of our bodies, you know, the way the brain works, the amygdala, the way that we're connected and wires wired. For centuries and centuries, you know, I've talked to social biologists about this, it's almost like, we wait to the last minute, before we actually do something about something, right? It has to get to this point, of almost catastrophic, and sometimes it's as individuals and companies, right? companies realize that, okay, we're losing money every month in and month out, month in and month out, but we haven't cut the team. So just like what, you know, the Facebook guy did pardon me, I can't remember his name right now. But, you know, he lays off 11,000 people, all of a sudden, like, boom, here's 11,000 People go, we see moves like that happening, you know, inside corporations, and you're wondering, well, you knew this was rubbing up to this, you know, it's like, all of a sudden, you're gonna make a move like that. And those decisions, so that's really about making better decisions. We don't have a tendency to have that DNA kind of wired into us or doing.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Know, we are, in the last couple of books I've written, I've been exploring the ways our, our neurobiology handles complexity. And the thing that I've found in, in studies from, you know, just across neurology, neuroscience, psychology, behavioral economics, in an all these different fields, what you see is that the human system was designed has evolved to basically ignore or fight against or be completely stressed out by complexity, right? And you can see that from most of our history, that was probably a good idea. Does that tendency help us make complex business decisions? It does not. It is not, it is not a gift to us, it is incredible. If what we need to do is run or fight our way out of a challenge. Boom, we are deciding whether to lay off people when we are deciding what new strategy to take on when we are trying to come to terms with something we've done that has been problematic in some powerful way. When we're wrestling with social issues, you know, all these things actually activate our anxious nervous system, our sympathetic nervous system, our activation system, and that doesn't do a great job at making the kinds of complex decisions you're talking about.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, your, you know, your research, the research, you've read and studied, I'd say every time it follows that course. In other words, it's that's the outcome is that it's not that great. And I and I was just recently on with Dan Bittner, the guy that wrote the blue zones, and he has a new book out the American Blue Zones cookbook, and you know, we got to talking about applications to change behavior. And he said, he said, I don't want this to be a buzzkill. But the research shows that no matter what app you put on your phone to meditate with or to, or to change your diet or to whatever. We see a precipitous decline at seven months, meaning around seven months, is the time when people drop off these things, yet their phones are loaded with them. And I said, Well, that's really interesting, Dan, and he said, Yeah, but the flip side is, if you change the environment, in which people, so like you, you went to France look at it, things are a little slower. People have bike paths. They're eating healthier. They're eating organic. No, he said, so we lower the BMI in a city by 3% by coming in and changing the environment, not by filling their funds with apps that you've got to do this, or you're gonna get 10,000 steps or you're gonna do whatever you're going to do. And I thought the approach was in it was kind of an eye opener for me, you know, to say, we've got to do this at a much higher level at a governmental level. We've got to change these things in the world. Before we as Human beings are going to kind of follow the path. You know what I mean? Any comment on that? Because that's, you know, inside of a corporation, it's almost the same thing. It's its own biosphere, right? It's its own culture. And I guess if you're not changing the environment, maybe a lot of times what you're doing is you're wasting a lot of time.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, I think this, this question about at what level does change happen? People have these different theories, you know, like people have a theory that changes all individual or changes about willpower, or changes about intelligence, or changes about motivation or changes about you know, like, there are all these theories, if we can just provide willpower, intelligence, motivation, apps, whatever it might be, people will change. But as you say, Change is a complex and interactive process, that has something to do with culture that has something to do with environment that has something to do with identity that has something to do with psychology that has something to do with biology. And I just don't think we're ever going to find the one size fits all way to make change happen. So

Greg Voisen
well, in his case, it was demographers that studied regions to find out where people lived over 100 years old, right? Everybody knows that. But the point of it is, is that they found commonalities, obviously, in this community, strong sense of community, a different diet, and 90%, plant based, mostly organic, you know, so if you follow the list down, you sit there and you go, wow, that's, that's really supporting me, because that's all I can get. Right? So that's, that's what I'm going to eat, I'm going to walk I'm going to do these things. You know, you've authored so many books, such as unlocking leadership, mind traps, changing on the job, simple habits for complex times. And most of the books are about thriving in complexity or making life simpler. Now, you've chosen to have a simpler life by moving where you've moved, you're living in the southern part of France. A much simpler lifestyle, not everybody has. Well, I wouldn't say they don't have the choice. They haven't made that choice. What is it about the way complex systems work? That is so counterintuitive for us to comprehend, because you're steady your body of work as an individual, and I don't know how you got here. But you're really interested in how we can figure out how to work with complexity, you know, and how it can be our friend versus being our foe?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, that's exactly right. This is exactly right. So when you talk about context, I have moved to the southwest of France. But I bought a house with 10 friends, and we live in community here. So I'm not sure that I simplified that much to be honest. When you have to make a, you know, a decision by committee for everything, it's not necessarily a simpler life, but it is a very interesting and, and, you know, a life filled with growth and laughter. Yeah. And I think that the, I think the thing is, our body automatically tells us that complexity is kind of wrong or bad or scary. Then our organizations reinforced this by saying your job as a manager is to control things, and to predict the future and to deliver on the future that you predicted. Right? And it reinforces that trend, that complexity is our enemy in some way. Actually, complexity is just it’s a life force. You know, it is a piece of what it is to be alive and mortal, and interdependent with the land and the other humans and the atmosphere. You know, this is just. And I think we can think about it as, you know, a force that's threatening and dangerous and we need to kind of segmented as much as we can get it out of here as much as we can. But I think this is always a losing battle, and particularly as the complexity of the world just advances and advances and advances. I think if we looked at complexity as off force that we could understand harness play with I surrender to make use of, I think we would have a really different relationship to what it means to be human and alive right now. And it, I think it would be a more helpful relationship. And I think we would potentially be able to solve bigger problems.

Greg Voisen
Agreed. And I'm not saying that everybody is running from complexity, but what I would say is they need and we're going to talk about it better ways to be in relationship with it. You know, there's a, I think, this is my humble opinion, opinion, you're kind of going through life, and you don't feel like you want to have more complexity, just like you said, moved in with all these people. And it hasn't been really more simple. But you've had this wonderful experience of community, right? So there's some tradeoffs there, maybe it did get a little more complex, but the whole support structure, and that's something that I think your research probably ferrets out that, you know, if I do get in a complex situation, and I have a lot of community of support, people around me, the other managers, the, you know, the upper line people to help me through it. It's so much easier. And you speak in the book about the difference between complicated versus complex challenges. And I thought this was really interesting part, can you speak with the listeners about the differences and why complex challenges are much more difficult to solve? or predict?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah. So this distinction comes from a variety of places, the teacher I study most, this distinction is Dave Snowden, who's a complexity theorist. And the, this isn't a distinction between two kinds of systems that are predictable, that run the same way every time. And systems that are not predictable. In complicated challenges, you have something that's tricky, it's hard. And yet, with the right expertise, the right experience, the right education, you can figure it out complex, complicated challenge is, you know something as daily as having a car that works to get you to where you need to be something as innovative as creating a rocket to the moon, or SpaceX or whatever it might be. But all of these are kind of engineering problems, you can break the problem apart into segments, you can hand the segments to different experts, and then you can kind of reassemble something that ought to work well, in this case and across contexts. Complexity is not like that. Complexity is a kind of entangled mass, where things actually change what's going on right now in such a way that you can't imagine what's going to happen next. You know, traffic is a complex system, it seems like everybody should be driving, kind of at the same speed and in the same place. But suddenly, traffic snarls in reasons that you can't really understand, you can't really predict, you can't necessarily know that they're going to snarl that way. Again, we're finding that who gets COVID is a complex challenge how COVID operates in our body is a complex challenge. There are patterns, some people get very sick, many people don't get sick. If you're immunized, it has one feature or another. But it's not predictable. You can't know if you're one of the ones that's going to be in this category or that one or that one. And that's because there are so many features at play. Where did you get it? How were you exposed? What time of day? Was it? How rundown was your body? How strong is your immune system? When were you last exposed? All these questions. And these questions kind of interact with each other to mean that while you can study patterns across a population, you can never predict any one particular thing. And, as you say, solving a complicated challenge. We know how to do that humans have gotten incredibly great at doing this. Getting the right kind of studies the right kind of understanding, though, right humans to or computers to parse apart the information and then put it back together into some excellent solution. complexity will always be unpredictable, but it's definitionally unpredictable. And we will always need another path to addressing complex challenges than we have to Addressing complicated ones.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, just the whole complexity theory. And, you know, you talked about Snowden, he mentioned the book, you actually mentioned his book in your book. You know, I have friends that actually do this, this is, you know, this is their fun is study complexity, you know, a gentleman wrote a book called Open boundaries, where, when we're in these systems, like working at a big corporation, which has all these moving parts and pieces, and no matter where you are in that, in, in that big matrix, right, it does get daunting. And so you stay, that uncertainty wreaks havoc on our systems, financial, political, social, but the first stress system that a leader must deal with is their own nervous system. And I would agree, because, you know, being able to keep our composure, during challenging times and stress, I happened to be, you know, an advocate of the Eastern theory and meditation, and most of my listeners are, and they understand, and mindfulness practices and, you know, all kinds of things. What does complexity do to us inside? And how can we better understand how to cope with it better? I think that's the key, you know, I'm, I'm headed back to go meet Richie Davidson, the guy who did all the studies with the monks and studying how their brains work under meditation at the University of Wisconsin, and I feel so honored to actually go do that. But the reality is, that's not everybody. You know, as a matter of fact, it's a very small segment that's able to actually take this thing called meditation, and actually make it a regular practice that makes them better able to cope with life. Yeah,

Jennifer Garvey Berger
so this question about how is it we can engage notice and engage with our own nervous systems? This is what meditation is all about, right? How do I engage with my own nervous system, my whole thought system as a system that I can kind of look into I am it and I can also see it. This is one of the keys to being able to handle complexity gracefully, I think and to be able to use it as a, as a force to play with is that we have to see what it does to us. And then we have to have a relationship to that. That means we can say, well, I'd like to change this like to I'd like to change something about this in this moment. I wonder what I could do to make that possible. Otherwise, we are very often traveling through our lives as passengers on the river have complexity, and not actually steering very much.

Greg Voisen
That's so true. And you know, I think what happens is, if people can learn mindfulness meditation practices, it makes it so much easier. You stated that one of the core paradoxes of complex system is that a lot of effort can have little or no impact. I think that's worth repeating. Because most people think a lot of effort will have huge impact. And that's a conundrum for most people, because they're used to efforting a lot to get something done with their, whatever the goal is, right? Speak with the listeners, if you're worried about slow, going slow to go fast, a concept that April Rennie talks about to in her book called Flux, who was just on here and some of the benefits of this strategy.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
You This is one of the I mean, it's one of the incredibly frustrating things about complexity, right as anybody who's tried to, you know, do a culture change initiative or launch a new product that you were sure was going to be spectacular. That's not actually spectacular in the marketplace, or whatever it is, whenever we want, or build trust in a team, and is put a lot of effort into building trust in a team. All of these are emergent phenomena of complex systems. And the bad news is it's not a put one unit in get one unit out kind of an exchange in complexity. The good news is it's not a put one unit in get one unit out kind of exchange in complexity, right. So this thing gives as it takes away. So the question is, I think, for certainly for me is what are the many small experiments we can try, that might have this incredibly outsized impact? While you know, not costing that much, instead of doing as you say, efforting, to try and force a system to do a particular thing, which, in a complex system often has a kind of perverse fighting back effect. And so this, this

Greg Voisen
was about, pardon me for interrupting you. But what about you, you just mentioned 15 minutes earlier that, you know, your managers are expecting you to get something done. So you have this pressure, let's just call it and it's, it's real pressure. There, the managers or the upper management is not saying, Well, you can go ahead and wallow with this problem. Which if you did wallow, you probably make a better decision. Okay. They're saying we want you to get something done. Right. In other words, we need something to happen a lot of times, they don't even know what it is that they think should happen. But they have this expectation of you. Right? It's like the expectation of the outcome, you talked about it in the book, that is one of the challenges at any level in an organization, be it that it's there. You know, if you look at the blue Buddhist philosophy, it's like, don't get attached to the expectation of the outcome. Right. But that seems to be a hard one for corporations to kind of like uptake, put it into their pipe and smoke it and say, this is the way we're running today. So what advice would you have for the people that are in the ranks and files that are listening to this, or they're at the upper management level, and they're the ones directing the people in the rank and file to do things that maybe actually wallowing would be a better option?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Well, I think anybody who's, you know, who, who faces a lot of responsibilities and a really busy job, and then they go away on vacation, and they actually don't look at their email. And then they come back to whatever, 20 million emails, right. And as they go through them, they see problems arise and fall, arise and fall, they see problems come and, and somehow fade away, like over the course of their work kind of study of their inbox. I've had so many leaders come to me and say, you know, Jennifer, when I am away, my people solve things that when I'm there, I think they absolutely need me for. And so this is a piece of the of the challenge is our action urge to do something often injects us in a way that expands our energy without actually adding very much value. And so this idea of going too slow to go fast. First, has us pause and see what's actually going on? How much am I motivated by my own anxiety? How much am I motivated by my reflexes? And how much am I actually able to put my hands around this challenge? And then, you know, the, the approach we tend to teach is about experimentation. How can you make small experiments and learn. And we have leaders and organizations all over the world who are trying to take this more experimental approach where they try multiple small things, and then learn from what the system does with those multiple small things. We hadn't. We had one organization we worked with that were was trying to have a culture change, where the organization was quite siloed, as many organizations are, and they were trying to break down some of those silos. Excuse me, and did in order to do it, they were having programs and they were having, you know, all kinds of initiatives, all kinds of all kinds of stuff was going on, there was quite a lot of a lot of push in the organization. And they were now learning about experiments and complexity. And so they were playing around with this fundamental question, what kind of stories are people telling right now? And what kinds of stories would I like them to tell more of and what kinds of stories that I liked to tell fewer of, and then we're hearing that a lot of the stories people were telling were about how those people over there were idiots. Annoying, money grubbing, self-centered, what, uh, what you know that whatever negative stories we imagine about people who are in a different silo from us, and they had these stories mutually going back and forth. And one of the experiments was, okay, I'll give you 100 bucks to go out to dinner. With one of those folks, I'll pay for dinner for both of you, or lunch, you choose the meal, I'll pay for it, you go out to dinner, I don't care what happens, just try that. And they invested like, whatever, four months and three grand in this experiment. And most people didn't take them up on it. Most people are like, I want to have dinner with him, even if you're gonna give me a nice meal. But some people did. And those some people started to like each other better started to collaborate more started to talk about work more started to tell each other Oh, no, you, I think you've got that wrong about those folks. I'm, I've been out to dinner with a bunch of those folks, I spend time with them. I, you know, I saw problems with them. And suddenly this, the culture started to shift in this $3,000 experiment of take some somebody you don't like out to dinner? And didn't have to work that way? No, they were trying other things too, at the same time. And those other things probably had some kind of an impact, too. The question is, can you find these small, relatively low investment attempts, and then learn from them and see how the system changes?

Greg Voisen
Yeah, it's almost like a, I don't wanna say you, you bring the light, where there's darkness in there, right? Because of the way somebody may think about someone, but then you start the light starts to shine brighter and brighter and brighter. You know, the darkness says serve the light. So what is interesting, and I remember this comment, and it kind of goes along with it. The people of diversity that you're asking them to interact with, the other people are saying, well, I don't like them or whatever, because they're different. I remember Steven Kotler has been on the show about six times talking about hacking flow, and the creativity inside of organizations and creativity and innovation in general. He said, Well, if you want to be innovative, his comment to me was, once you read something different. And I was like, well, he says, Well, you know, I read Architectural Digest, people wouldn't think that I would read Architectural Digest, he said, but the reality is the fact that you've stimulated your brain by pushing it to read something that you, you know, you're normally commonly understand, it's almost like going to dinner with someone different, right? You're saying, wow, this person is a magician, musician. I don't like musicians. I'm like, whatever, you know, but I'm gonna go anyway, because I'm gonna go with an open mind and learn this. The same thing with reading Architectural Digest, he said, what happens is it breaks the code and your creativity emerges, your innovation emerges, you become more engaged. And I thought, it's a great way for people to do that. So just like you said, you know, go spend 100 bucks and go to dinner with somebody that you don't maybe care pick that's in some other silo inside the company, or read something different or force yourself to do something different. Because it is going to have you help you solve problems differently as well. And you know, you introduce something called, these are the gyms, genius engagement moves, which allows us to become aware of what is happening in our nervous system and begin to make intentional shifts. Can you speak with the listeners about the gyms there's a lot of them in the book. So I will, I will say, we'll apply some of them maybe the most important ones here that you would like to talk about. You have many so what Just pick that the most successfully used with an impact on our nervous system and dealing with complexity. So one of them, I would think, humbly, is just before you're taking action, take a breath. You know, just take a big deep breath in. And wait, don't just react, you know, because that's, we have a tendency to do that, we want to find a solution quickly. So we're just boom, we're gonna say something, put our foot in our mouth. Any others that you want to give us that we that the listeners could apply and apply immediately? Let's say they're working in a corporation today, and they're going, Wow, I could really use what you guys are talking about.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Yeah, so one of my favorite is to see whether there can be more laughter in your life. So one of the complexity geniuses, one of the things that makes us great at complexity is laughter. It's great for our body, it's great for our connections, it's actually a socially generated phenomenon that comes from and enables trust, and bonding. And, and lots of people have this idea. Oh, yeah, there's no laughing at my work because I am in a serious business, or there's no laughing at my work, because my colleagues are not funny. And it turns out that laughter is really rarely about what's funny. It's about the sense we make of it. And it's about what we're trying to signal to one another. And so the a couple of gems in that space, that have really changed my life are, first of all, offer your laughter as a gift to others. Right. So think about your laughter as a kind of social glue, that makes things cohere, that makes groups feel more together, and see whether you can feel more free and open with this gift of laughter. So this is one of them. And then even if you

Greg Voisen
can't Wow, could even if you can't laugh, how about smiling? Yeah, for sure. Just changes our neurology. Yeah, there was a guy that just did a TED talk about smiling. And it's like, it makes so much difference. I mean, you're not gonna laugh, at least.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I mean, this is it, you're actually changing not only what happens in your blood, when you smile, or when you're there, but also what's happening in the bodies of the people you're with. I mean, that's extraordinary to be able to have that effect on people. That's amazing. And the other one and the other Geminus laughter space, is how can you find ways to take what was heavy and hard and laugh at it? We call it an irony practice. And I used to, I have a several coaching clients who use this irony practice, and we spend the first few minutes of our session together, just going over things that in the moment, felt awful, heavy, serious, difficult the board meeting, in this terrible presentation where I screwed up the slides, you know, all these difficult, hard, grueling things. And then we, we laugh at it, you know, we say, Oh, can you believe that? This happened to me, and we find that actually laughter emerges from those times, like laughter is the reconceptualization of difficulty in just something that's hilarious. And often the hardest things become hilarious. Not all the hardest things. But many of the hardest things become hilarious if we just treat them that way. And then as we face other hardship, it's easier for us to face into it without this kind of heavy, serious, somber thing. Complexity responds very well to play, to lightness, to exploration to co creation laughters like that.

Greg Voisen
Those are great bits of advice, because I think, you know, people, we've talked many times incorporation about being more playful, you'll be more creative, you know? Yeah, for some reason. You know, the words oftentimes bounce off the wall, because the culture has been so ingrained there when somebody new comes in and says, you can do this now, people are hesitant to do that. Because before they were reprimanded for it, right? And it's now you have to break through Oh, man, they're allowing me to have more autonomy. They're allowing me to be more playful. They're allowing me to do you know, I remember reading Yvonne Shannara Woods book, the guy who does Patagonia, he knew, as always, for him about having a culture where people had this autonomy, he would tell the guys who were working in Santa Barbara will go surfing in the middle of the day, do whatever you're gonna do, and then come back and go back to work. It's not like, I have you chained to this desk for eight hours, they don't want you to change to this desk for eight hours. But many of these organizations, they have been in comp ensconced with this kind of thing, it's like, you're gonna be here eight to five, you're gonna grind it out. And that's the way it is. And it's hard for them to make the move. But some of the things in your book, and I'm going to point that out, these gems will certainly make dealing with it a lot easier. So please get the book. Now your gems help in creating conditions for new solutions to emerge? You mentioned that one of the beautiful things about complexity is that we cannot make things happen. We just talked about that a minute ago. What advice would you give a leader about learning to let go of their biases and beliefs and become a receptacle for new creative solutions. And please speak about the idea of you would have non attachment to the outcome. I think a big part of this is the attachment to the outcome. And if you're really going to let go of biases and beliefs and really let go, which I don't know, how many people know how to do that.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I don't think I think it's a practice, you know, like all of these things that we're talking about, I'm not sure we arrive. But this this question of, can we release our preconception or preconception comes automatically from an assumption whether we notice it or not, that the future is going to be kind of like the past, if we even have a preconception it comes from our past, right? It comes from what we know, it comes from how it's been before. That's what preconception is, we are, we are noticing it before it happens. And I mean, you just imagine all the things that are eliminated, if the thing that we want is something that's happened before. This is a this is a world so quickly changing. We can count on what's happened before. And maybe we don't want to maybe we want a new thing to happen. Maybe this is the point. And so I think when we begin to practice, something like non attachment to outcomes, right, where we say I want to go that away, I want to help people in these ways, I want to create a business in this direction, I want to help make knowledge more available or help make the world more sustainable in its use of energy or whatever your goal might be. If, if you leave, if you leave, I want to go that way without thinking in exactly this way. Or at exactly the speed or with exactly these milestones, then you allow space for margins, and for happenstance and serendipity to arrive. And you allow space for the creativity of others to influence the direction that you actually take. And so I think it's this

Greg Voisen
you also give more room for presents.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
You do you learn from what's going on right now?

Greg Voisen
Exactly. You know, I had this thing told me a long time ago you live in you live in the dead pasture. Imagine future but you have a hard time staying in the now. Call it Eckart Tolle, whoever you want to call it. But the reality is, is that that presents that we need to get to is how we really solve these complex issues. We don't solve them by going Well, yesterday was a real day. I'm gonna drag it all in and tomorrow's got this and I'm worried about what's gonna go in there. You really solve these by staying in the Now that may sound trite to a lot of people but please, from my humble opinion and experience in the 980 authors I've interviewed, it does have a huge impact on if you can stay there. You know, one of your gyms is to lead into humility, right? And then hubris you state that we should think of the smallest moves, that might shift the conditions that are creating our version of our reality. There's underlying our version of our reality. What's the best way to move the ego out of the way? There's a lot of this is attached to ego, I have a job on vice president this division. And remind us that solutions are co-created with the universe, when we are open and receptive to listening.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Again, first, we have to notice that the ego is in the way, right, which is why this work about self-awareness and what's going on for me is so important because otherwise it doesn't feel like ego. It feels like something else, right? Because the ego is always back there, like pulling the strings, right? And so noticing that our ego might be getting in the way and asking ourselves a question, like, in this moment, how is it getting in the way, as opposed to like, Am I one of those people whose ego gets in the way? Yes, you are? Yes, you are a human person, your heartbeats, right? Your ego gets in the way sometimes. And so paying attention, noticing, and then finding ways, you know, laughing at yourself. And the things that looked so bad earlier in the week is an ego bashing way, right? It's it frees us listening well to others, is another way that we free ourselves up to co create and to be with one another. And this other thing that you're mentioning is getting out of the heavy stories of what has been what should have been what should be next. Anything with a showed in it? And noticing what is what, what is now what is now what are the patterns right now? And how can you start to mess around with the patterns of right now? And amplify the ones you like, and dampen down the ones you don't like, what everything we have is right now.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, it is. And it's a hard thing for people to grasp because we have time. So when you wear a watch, and you look at it, it's on your clock, you know, it's you're reminded everywhere you go of time. It has a difficult time staying present. And I will say that the biggest thing that I've seen in modern world has just been the distraction of the cell phone. There isn't any one device in my humble opinion, that's distracted people more than the cell phone. You know, we've had we've had people fall off cliffs taking pictures themselves. And, you know, I'm not certain that would have happened if you had a Brownie camera or not. Right. So you know, you recounted Jennifer, reading Robert Keegan's book it the life changing book, you called it in your book, in over our heads. Your epiphany was that our emotions were constructed by us, and that we can control and construct emotions. I couldn't agree more. But on the other hand, I think there might be people listening and going, Yeah, okay, I get it. But I don't know how to speak with our listeners about the importance of this book for you. And how knowing we have control our emotions can be one of the biggest game changers in our lives. Yeah,

Jennifer Garvey Berger
I think I've come to believe that we have control over the stories we tell ourselves about our emotions. And so this this question of, I feel angry. I feel angry you I feel angry at you for these reasons, right? This is almost entirely story, a little bit of sensation, I have a feeling that happens in my body there is you know, a different cocktail of chemicals coursing through my veins, different cocktail of neuro hormones coursing through my veins. Relatively briefly, right like that. That actual physical sensation is quite short. Everything that makes an emotion last is the amplification of our stories. And understanding that our emotions are really about the stories I'm telling myself. I've been writing this week, a blog about the phrase the story I make up about this is because actually, I'm not sure there's a more helpful phrase to put at the beginning of a sentence than that, when you're dealing with them with an emotion, like I'm super hurt, that my friends did this thing without me, right? You get it. And then when you talk to them about it, the story I make up about this is you didn't care about my feelings or the story make up about this is that you didn't consider me or the story make up whatever the story is that 98% of its value to rile me up if I can put the phrase the story and make up about it is, and this I think helps us understand our emotions are the result of our stories, as opposed to our emotions are the result of the actions of others. Our emotions are the result of the stories we tell ourselves about the actions of others. And understanding that little hook, and being able to tell myself, oh, I'm making up story about this. And this is why I'm enraged, making up a story about this, this is why I'm hurt. Liberating, totally, in a way, almost nothing in my life has been liberating.

Greg Voisen
More liberating than that, yes. You know, I got a degree in spiritual psychology. And then I came to the realization about MSU, making stuff up. You know, we just have a saying in the university, you don't have to believe everything you think. And the reality was, is that there was a bumper sticker actually made, I think I still have it here. Because we make these stories up. And then we believe the stories we made up, and then they become a belief about it, and then some believe against that other person or whatever. And it can be so insidious, because there's no foundation for it. It's something that I made up, it's maybe a comment, we took wrong from somebody and took it to heart. And it really, they really didn't mean it that way. Right? Because we never checked back in. So I think that's one thing. And I think it's so valuable, what you said, to understand that the stories you make up can have such a huge impact on your life. I remember Byron Katie being on the show, wonderful woman, and she is to put people up in front of the audience. And she'd asked him two questions. And I don't know if you remember her or not, do you remember Byron, Katie? Their name is super familiar. So very famous. She got very famous on asking these questions. The first question was,

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Is it true? Oh, yes.

Greg Voisen
Then she says, Is it really true, right? Because people would make up the story about their mate, Oh, he's so bad, or she's so bad, or they're horrible, or whatever. And she'd sit in the audience chair to chair like this. And she just say, Oh, is it true? And they go, Well, maybe, well, maybe it's maybe it's not really no one I started thinking about, maybe it's not so bad as I made it up to be. And then she'd say, it's really is it really, really true? Go? Well, no, not at all. You know, it was it's just this really interesting way to say, I asked people, you know, you might want to ask yourself, Is it really true? Because the reality is most of the stories you make up are made up? They're not true. Right? There's something you made up. So in conclusion here, your books filled with great stories, research, practical experience for dealing with complexity. What are the few ideas that you would like to leave listeners with that they could navigate complexities in their life with if you were, leave them two or three things that you think from a combination of our 48 minutes here on the Zoom call that you could actually make that happen?

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Oh, two things. Okay. The first thing, the research I did for this book helped convince me that we have a lot more agency to effect the conditions of our lives than we think we do. And that making moves to live more peacefully and complexity is actually delightful. And is filled with things that don't feel like difficulties but feel like joy. And I think the second thing I want to say is one of the most joyful is how we connect with other people, and how we could be more intentional and thoughtful about solving for that love and connection with other folks, and how much that makes complexity bearable.

Greg Voisen
I'd say that second one is really important. Because we're at a point in our history where if you look at the divisiveness that's occurred worldwide, because of the stories we made up about somebody else, that we've This is self-imposed, and divisiveness. It doesn't need to be that way. I'm not saying we need a Haight Ashbury love fest, and let's all go smoke pot and you know, have a great time. What I'm saying is, if just little by little you'd make if anybody out there listening would make one small step toward making a connection with another person, I think it would make a huge difference in the world to try and bridge, whatever it is, you're attempting to bridge, just like you said, go take them to lunch, go do whatever. I mean, I know my nonprofit compassionate communications foundation, I go out and give $100 gift cards to people on the streets that are homeless. And I make my attempt to bridge that I have to do that with every individual that I hand a card to, I don't know who they are, many of them have mental illness I've got to overcome. But I've also got to learn how to work with that subset of the population to help find more love and compassion for them, no matter who they are. And I think that's true inside of a business, if you would think about that individual out there, and that they have emotions and feelings and concerns and upsets. And all they want to do is be heard, you said listened to, but I'd say heard. Same thing. And with that, I want to let all our listeners go to Jennifer's website, and we'll put a link to that. And that website is cultivating leadership.com. We're also going to have her back on the shelf next month for this book, simple habits for complex times. So Jennifer, thank you so much. Have a wonderful holiday season enjoy France and the countryside and drinking wine and being with all her great friends there and the community that you build. Sounds like a wonderful life. Namaste to you in everything that you're doing to help the world heal and heal these companies and the people inside of them. Bring more light.

Jennifer Garvey Berger
Thank you so much. Thank you for this great conversation. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Greg Voisen
All right, thanks.

powered by

My guest for my 980th episode is National Geographic Fellow and Explorer, New York Times bestselling author, Emmy Award-winning Journalist and Producer and a Guinness World Record Holder Dan Buettner.

Dan is also the Founder and Chairman of the Board of Blue Zones which offers science-backed programs and lifestyle management tools to help people live longer, better. Along with this, they have Blue Zones Projects that are well-being initiatives that apply lessons from the Blue Zones to entire communities by focusing on changes to the local environment, public policy, and social networks. Reportedly, their programs have improved the health of more than 5 million Americans to date.

Dan now works in partnership with municipal governments, large employers, and health insurance companies to implement his projects in communities, workplaces, and universities. And being a bestselling author, he also uses this platform to reach audience for his mission. In fact, he will be releasing another good book to read entitled The Blue Zones American Kitchen: 100 Recipes to Live to 100 on December 6.  You may click here to pre-order his book.

In this book, Dan uncovers the traditional roots of plant-forward cuisine in the United States. Following the acumen of heritage cooks who have passed their recipes from generation to generation, Dan uncovers the regions and cultures that have shaped America’s healthiest food landscapes.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Dan and his amazing works, you may click here to visit his website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Dan Buettner.  Happy Listening!

THE BOOK

In Blue Zones American Kitchen, Buettner uncovers the traditional roots of plant-forward cuisine in the United States. Following the acumen of heritage cooks who have passed their recipes from generation to generation, Buettner uncovers the regions and cultures that have shaped America’s healthiest food landscapes, from Hmong elders living in Minnesota to Quakers in New England. Along the way, he illuminates both traditional and revolutionary ideas in vegetarian food with recipes from chefs like James Beard Award–winner James Wayman, “the Gullah chef” Bill Green, and “the Cod Chef” Dave Smoke-McCluskey.

THE AUTHOR

Dan Buettner is an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist and
producer, and New York Times bestselling author. He discovered the five places in the world – dubbed blue zones hotspots – where people live the longest, healthiest lives. His articles about these places in The New York Times Magazine and National Geographic are two of the most popular for both publications. 

Buettner now works in partnership with municipal governments, large employers, and health insurance companies to implement Blue Zones Projects in communities, workplaces, and universities. Blue Zones Projects are well-being initiatives that apply lessons from the Blue Zones to entire communities by focusing on changes to the local environment, public policy, and social networks. The program has dramatically improved the health of more than 5 million Americans to date.

Joining me for this podcast are co-founders of The THEO Group and the authors of new book The Art of Relationship: Discover the Magic of Unconditional Love, Sheila and Marcus Gillette.

The THEO Group is an organization dedicated to sharing the wisdom teachings of the twelve archangels collectively known as THEO – who speak directly through Sheila – who are guiding humanity during this unprecedented shift to a higher state of consciousness. Additionally, with Sheila being a mentor and having gifts verified by para psychological researchers and physicists, they share THEO’s wisdom through public THEO experiences, television and radio appearances worldwide, and in several live and online mentoring programs.

Sheila and Marcus’ mission, among with THEO, is to continue to speak, teach, and provide several live and virtual mentoring programs to support the evolution of humanity. They also do this in written platform as Marcus and Sheila have released several good books in the past and that just recently, they had one additional in their line of amazing works entitled The Art of Relationship: Discover the Magic of Unconditional Love. In this heart-opening book, Sheila and Marcus, through the wisdom channeled from THEO, reveal the remarkable paradigm shift that illuminates a simpler path to relationship success.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Sheila and Marcus and THEO, you may click here to visit their website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Sheila and Marcus Gillette. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

Relationships are the most universal thread of the human experience. Our collective understanding of them rarely calls for us to question what we know to be true. But what if relationships are not actually bound by the absolutes that we, as humans, have placed upon them? What if there was a simple way to achieve a permanent state of unconditional love?

In this heart-opening book, Marcus and Sheila Gillette, through the wisdom channeled from the Archangelic Guides known as THEO, reveal the remarkable paradigm shift that illuminates a simpler path to relationship success.

This enlightening and empowering approach to relationships elevates you to the highest state of self-knowing; and in doing so, uncovers the secret to achieving healthy, joyous and fulfilling relationships.

THE AUTHORS

Sheila and Marcus Gillette are co-founders of The THEO Group, an organization dedicated to sharing the wisdom teachings of the twelve archangels collectively known as THEO – who speak directly through Sheila – and who are guiding humanity during this unprecedented shift to a higher state of consciousness. They are also co-authors of “The Soul Truth: A Guide to Inner Peace”, and now of the new book The Art of Relationship: Discover the Magic of Unconditional Love.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. I have two wonderful souls joining me. Sheila and Marcus Gillette. Do you say Gilletti or Gillette?

Sheila and Marcus Gillette
Gillette.

Greg Voisen
Gillette. Okay. I was just adding that bit of into them. They are joining us from Are you in Scottsdale? Is that correct?

Sheila Gillette
Yes.

Greg Voisen
Scottsdale, Arizona. And many of you who are listening might already know them. But we're going to be speaking about a new book that they have out right now called The Art of relationship, discover the magic of unconditional love, and the wisdom of Theo. And I want my listeners, Sheila and Marcus to know a little bit about you over the last 25 years, Sheila and Marcus have empowered and educated 1000s of people worldwide. Through conversations with Theo, Sheila has been a direct voice medium for to a collective of 12 archangels, since her near death experience, and then in 69, in partnership with Marcus, Sheila has been able to share Theo's wisdom, with an ever widening community, impacting upon their incredible messages that foster enlightenment state of consciousness, you also have a book out called the soul truth. And we'll put a link to that as well. And the fifth dimension channel's a new reality. You've been at this a long, long time. And that's a good thing. Because literally, longevity breeds more wisdom. As far as I'm concerned, I've been at this a long time to podcasting. And people always say, you've been doing this 15 years, that's before anybody was podcasting. And I said, yeah, pretty close, pretty close. But thank you both for being on the show. And taking the time to not only we're going to spend some time with Theo as well. But we're also going to ask some questions around the book. And so the way I set this up was just to kind of rally back and forth and then get into Theo. So that's what we're going to do. And for my listeners, Marcus, and I should say, Sheila, I want to open the book up with a very compelling story that you had about a traumatic incident during childbirth, birth, and you ask God to save you. And I and as I was reading this, I was thinking, Okay, this is and then I, you kind of had this out of body experience. Can you tell the story and your encounter with Jesus at the end of the bed, and also why you believe you were saved, because you almost died during that experience.

Sheila Gillette
I did. Greg, I had pulmonary embolus, after the birth of a child in 1969. And my lungs were full of fluid. And I could not breathe. And I was in intensive care. And I knew if I closed my eyes, I would have not opened them again. And I learned later that my family was being prepared that I wouldn't live through the day. And you know, the pandemic brought all that back to me, because it affected the lungs, and people couldn't breathe. And so I have lots of compassion for those who had to be intimated and, and had those terrific or horrific experiences. However, I could not breathe, it felt as if I had an elephant sitting on my chest. And I did I just kept saying, Hey, God, give me a job, I'll do anything. I had two little children at home, had a brand new baby. And I wanted to stick around and be their mom. And so I just kept saying I'll do anything. Give me a job. Now let me tell you had God given me a roster of positions that were available. I don't know that I would have chosen this one. Because in 1969, when you become a direct voice, trance medium, the only person that that people knew about that had done that is Edgar Casey. So it wasn't something openly spoken up. And I'm in my intensive care. Cubot colder rooms are small. And it was as if the sun had risen in the room itself. It was so bright. And I saw movement at the end of my bed and when I focused on it. Jesus was standing there and of course, was like, well, whoa, this is interesting. However, I was met summarized by his beautiful hazel eyes, and the amount of love I felt. And I just kept looking at him. And he smiled at me. And then he took his arms and crossed him like this inside the sleeves of the garment here. And when he did that, I heard in my inner mind hearing, like we hear our own thoughts, a distinct male voice that said, Remember my child you are loved. At that point, it felt like my crown opened up in this warrant started pouring down through the interior of my body in every cell. And as it went through the trunk of my body, I felt as if I could take a deep breath. And then I started getting better. Now, this is a place out of time, because as I speak to you about it, and your listeners, it's as if it just happened a moment ago, it's that clear to me. And what I know, I don't have a doubt, I had a miraculous healing in that little cubicle that K. People call it near death experience. I didn't go down a tunnel. But I did have the bright light, and many of the things that people who have near death experience had. But then I was in the hospital for a month. And when I got out about six months later, I had all kinds of psychic phenomena happening to me. internally, externally, I could hear messages in my inner mind to say her Jesus's voice. And then I transform tenuous Lee, and became a direct voice trance medium. And that's what scientists called me that's what was the term in that time channeling wasn't even a term that was used in this medium in this experience, so that came up a few years later. But I started having all kinds of information being given to me that I couldn't possibly have known about people that are were around me. And friends, and then I received information about Watergate two years before it came to the surface. And we all learned about what was going on. So there were things that I was given all the way along, that kept being confirmed daily, so I could trust and know it wasn't coming from me, because I couldn't have possibly known the things that I was being given.

Greg Voisen
We lived in a society at that time that was not super accepting of that, you know, you you've talked about Edgar Casey Yes, we can all read about him and read his books and his works. People like Paul foster case, and, you know, all these individuals that preceded in the times, like in the, in the 20s, much of this work was done. This heavy spiritual work was done underground. It had to get done underground, because Christianity was going to squash it or could and this has been the issue for many times, my wife, believe it or not, as the head of an order called builders of the Athenaeum. And that is based out of Los Angeles with members worldwide. And you know, when they work with vibration, and color, and sound, and all these kind of things, that was a little bit in the 20s. It was like, Oh, my gosh, you guys are a little wacko, right? So, you know, it's like, it's interesting, but your story and how you got there is, I think, a good place for our listeners to understand is it 1969, you had this experience, which then allowed you or you were chosen to be kind of tapping into these Archangels. And Marcus, I want to skip to this section on a chapter on the sacred self that you speak about in the book. And you state that it's not conditional on anything becomes our new normal when we're not conditional on anything, a state that is not conditional on anything externally happening to us, or for us, or when something happens, as if often the case when we experience temporary feelings of happiness, right. So I think that's a state that many of my listeners are looking for more often everybody is right. What do we need to release or evolve or transmute to achieve these states? unconditional love for self and others because we're so hard on ourselves as a human species, you know, it's just like, our brains are wired that way. You know, this ego just keeps telling us, we're not enough and we're not loved. And we're not doing the right things and so on. And I talked about this on a lot of shows. But no matter how many times I talk about it, there's always a different approach to how you can actually overcome it. So I love to hear yours.

Marcus Gillette
Question, and it's a great, big question for sure, Greg. And, you know, for some context, we, we start that paragraph off by saying maybe happiness really isn't the goal, right? Maybe there's something more there's something more permanent of vibrational state of being that supersedes happiness, which can be conditional upon things happening for us and to us. And when we have these external things happening, we're happy, right? But then that can have a tendency at fading. And then what is our true state what's underneath all that? And this is the vibrational state of being the I was talking about, and this is where Theo's teachings have been, have been really expanding and why so many people are adopting feels wisdom on the topic of self-love, and how to get there how to create this vibrational state. And we start with the premise that any thought that we have or belief that we have about ourselves, that is anything other than unconditional love is simply not true. It's just an untrue belief about yourself. Where are these beliefs created? Where are they adopted, they could be childhood trauma. The process is to teach us which is called Soul integration, which we talked about in chapter three is simply is a combination of the people say what sounds like little child or shadow work. Yeah, it is, has that component to it or shamanic soul retrieval, very definitely a component of that as well. But it's more than that. It's multi-dimensional. And that's what Theo is inviting us to know ourselves, as, is this vibration, this, this this vibrational state of being of unconditional love, and who is that it's who we really are. That's our true nature. So this process leads us home. By virtue of getting to the core circumstances, which could also very well include previous incarnations in which a belief that untrue belief about the self was created or adopted. And it could be from your parents, it could be from a community, it could be from our tribe, it could be from the church teachings, it could be from wherever it comes from, we adopt these beliefs about ourselves that just aren't true. And so this vibrational state of being that theme has been teaching us this becoming, it's not a feeling or an emotion is our natural state of being and we're awakening and remembering to and I add just one more thing, Greg, when we when you look up the definition of self-love, we went to Wikipedia. And there's two definitions of self-love. The first one is conceit, and self-centeredness. The second one is necessary for personal fulfillment, and I'm paraphrasing. Which one were you raised with? Is the question that we asked people to ask themselves. So my belief is from the time that you can you were awake, did you adopt relative to what self-love really means. And the last thing I'll say about this is if you go in and do any research on the concept of original sin, which is just utter nonsense created by Pope Augustine in the fourth century, now we've got 2 billion people walking around thinking that they came in with a stain on their soul. How do you love yourself? If that's how you've been taught to believe that you're a sinner? And Theo says there are no centers and I think that's a significant thing to embrace and difficult for some that have been raised in our belief system that is very, very heavily in opposition to that belief.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's interesting I like the way that the two of you get there because you're actually in your this direct medium right? The difference is you know, you can spec speak with and not that long go ahead Gary Xu cough on here and Neale Donald Walsch, and all these people that have written books about similar things, but the way they approach this is a little different than the way you guys it's quite a bit different than the way you guys approach it. But fundamentally, underneath it all, it's, it's still theoretically, the same thing is that's healing. I mean, you could say, hey, look, I have, there's a study that Kaiser has been doing about early childhood traumas, right, that we carry with us, the ACE thing, and I'm working with some doctors right now on that on an application. But you what you realize is we carry that trauma through and as you gotta question is, Did I incarnate this life to have that trauma and to really work through it? You know, and a lot of people blame it on somebody else, but you can't do that. We understand that. So Sheila, this is a good question for you. Do you speak At the listeners about Theo refers to soul integration. And I, you know, I was just talking to you about a book called 911 from the soul. There's a lot of this out there now, you know, listen to your soul, how do you be discerning? How do I know where that voice is coming from? And my listeners are saying, hey, you know, but I hear it. But I don't know whether or not I can act on it. Because I don't know if I trust you know, it's really this discernment thing. What is it? And how do we take the first step toward the vibrational state of being an unconditional love that Theo's talking about are basically what Marcus was just talking about?

Sheila Gillette
Well, I'm, I love this question, because Theo's been teaching soul integration process for five decades. And I was working individual, individually with people where they would lead them through the process. And many people say, Oh, that's just inner child work or soul retrieval work. And I would say to that, yes, it is, and more, because to your point, we do carry things forward, Theo talks about our soul being like a diamond with many facets. And we choose to incarnate. And when there are things carried forward, it's just like, what gives the diamond brilliance is light refracting on those facets. So we could say when we're aware of what we've carried forward is the light is shining on that facet of our soul. Or Theo calls it a fragment, where we judge and create a belief in a situation and circumstance outside of ourselves. And it's either a belief that somebody has given us and we've adopted it as truth, or something we've created to survive in that moment, to belong to that family, to that community to that religion, whatever it is, that we've separated this little part of ourselves, for survival sake to become other than who we are our truth, which is unconditional love. So what Theo's soul integration process teaches us is how to get in contact with those parts of ourselves, and how to love them forward into the present time, not send them away, they'd been isolated, or, like frozen in time, from that moment. And then a situation circumstances, things that happened. Those don't change. That's history. But what changes about cat is our perception.

Greg Voisen
It's that you're saying to embrace those things versus to embrace them, too. Yeah, we people attempt to shun them away, you know, they want to get rid of them. And you're saying, those have been given to you as a gift to, to work through in this incarnation? And that leads me to a question because we're going to have you bring Theo into this podcast. But you know, this could go to both of you, Marcus, you as well. I know when I listen to the responses to the questions I get in these, I get these hits. Right. And one of the hits that just came up for me was the biggest fear people have is their finitude, their finality, they're making their transition to the other side, call it death, call it whatever you want. But right now we do call it death. And it has this that word has this stigma attached to it, where the fear is there. What would the two of you speak with our listeners so that, you know they could better understand what these Archangels are trying to tell us about this transmuting this fiscal plane into a spiritual plane someplace beyond because it is one of the biggest fears that most people walk around with?

Marcus Gillette
I used to have to share something with you real quick, Greg in terms of being on the same wavelength here. I'm making notes because if I don't make notes, I'll forget stuff at the age of 65. Right. So I was wondering, why didn't circle back around? I just wrote down no fear of death, just about one minute ago. Yeah. And what I was referencing was to give more context was the somewhat ineffable or indescribable nature of the state of being that we're talking about, right? So it's a deep level of peace. It's a deep level of comfort in the skin. If there's no worries, there's also no fear of death. And that was what I just wrote down. And so you and I are just picking this up somehow because that is one of the things when we know ourselves to be eternal beings. Thiel talks about birth to birth. And I want to turn it over to Sheila here and medical chief speaks about this so beautifully, that we're not it's not a birth death process. It's the birth the birth process. And when we begin to experience ourselves as more than our physical bodies, which were which this 50 imaginary energy that we're living in is just right for vibrationally. There's no fear of death. In fact, we begin to perceive it as the grandest spiritual experience of them all. As opposed to having any fear of it at all. She'll I know you

Greg Voisen
want to. But one of the words you use Marcus is experience. If I was to underline anything in the paragraph, it's experience versus trying to get there. In other words, it's like, how do I drop into that experience or not even drop in just become it? Right, it's a little different than trying to effort toward it. It's actually becoming it because the it's the effortlessness that required, I don't know, that's my point is, hey, we're all in this world of learning all the time. Right. And so Sheila, your thoughts?

Sheila Gillette
I love this question, too, because I've had a near death experience. And I'm not afraid of death. And I've been with people in hospice and particular I've been with my parents. And I remember my mom saying to me, before she passed, she said, Well, I've never done this before. I said, Are you afraid, she said, Well, I, I just don't know where I'm going. I've never done this before. But she did tell the hospice nurse, because I wasn't there, that Jesus would just have to wait for her until I got there, which I thought was really sweet. Which was true. And but the thing about the birth to birth, you know, we birth we choose an incarnation, we go through the birthing process into these human Earth suits. And then we birthed out of them into our multi-dimensional beingness. Because we're multi-dimensional souls that are eternal. So the fear, I think the greater fear that I've spoken with people about and heard is they don't want to be in pain. They're afraid it's going to be awful and hurt. And, you know, because we've seen people suffer during those times, however, to Marcus's point, when we can I totally in my soul of souls believe this, when we do the integrational process. We rewrite those scripts about not being lovable, not being enough, not being worthy, all the not enough nurses, we change that we perceive ourselves differently. And then we don't have those fears. To Marcus's statement,

Greg Voisen
we take off that heavy coat Sheila that we've been wearing, that we're walking around with either resisting the love that's trying to come our way or giving the love that we should be giving out I think I have I know I have, it's right behind me. You know, Dalai Lama used to say that you're going to be remembered for how much you loved, who loved you, and how much of that go. In essence, that's kind of what it is. And the reality is you're talking about relationship here to love yourself and to love others. When you wear that outside, big heavy coat that you're carrying around you're talking about. And whether it be resistance or you know, you've got to be right or whatever it is that you're trying to do. You're pushing people away and the art of relationship and what the two of you are getting to is this and I think this is a perfect time, an opportunity for you to channeling Theo and maybe we could ask these Archangels a few questions about relationships and the importance of loving ourselves and knowing ourselves Would that be okay?

Sheila Gillette
Of course it takes just a few seconds for me to invite the man I take a couple of deep breaths. I close my eyes, I invite them to come in they take over particularly from the right side of my body my vocal cords and then my entire body and they begin to speak so here we go on by.

Sheila Gillette
It is the beginning is not we are approaching in terms of the opportunity to be of service to you, you may ask

Greg Voisen
what is it that our listeners need to know do about becoming complete loving souls on this planet.

Sheila Gillette
You cannot give what you do not have. And so does have great import that you love yourself. And how that is done is releasing external beliefs that you've adopted as your truths. rewriting the script, knowing that you are a Divine Master of being having a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience. You've chosen to be here now and shift of consciousness that has never happened on this planet before. And the fifth dimension, airy energy much more refined to that full realization of the truth of your being. Knowing that the situation circumstances challenges that you have in your life are only the curriculum of your human experience, they do not define you. However, they make you stronger, and they allow you to mature. So as you have moved forward into adulthood, you can speak to those little asterix those parts of yourself that have created or adopted beliefs about you that are simply untrue. And love them forward into the present. You may ask, Do what about

Greg Voisen
the fears that most human beings carry around with them? And especially the fear of death and dying? What wisdom would you impart upon our listeners regarding these fears that they're carrying?

Sheila Gillette
The fear is asking you to believe in something that hasn't even happened yet. The fear is, what if something horrible happened to me? What if something wonderful will happen for you or know that life is happening through you and for you, not to you, and that you are a divine. So having this human experience, and we'll move again into your multi-dimensional soul being when you're complete with this physical incarnation. Right, so the paradigm of fear is the absence of love. And fear and faith ask the same of you to believe in something that's unseen. So we would encourage those who have this fear, not to fear living, because oftentimes, that's the greatest fear and so transfers into leaving the physical body undone. And in this process of integration, that sense of love of self then allows you to be open and receptive to love. Humans are good givers, but poor receivers. So the integration allows receptivity and in that receptivity, the ability to love is greater still. You may ask you, thank you for

Greg Voisen
your wisdom and insight for my listeners and myself. So appreciate this.

Sheila Gillette
And blessings. You are complete with your ASCII? Yes. We are appreciative of the opportunity to serve God Slava. Do you have a good day? Well,

Greg Voisen
that was a great, great experience. Thank you for that. I appreciate you doing that. And for my listeners as well. All of you out there. And Marcus, you had mentioned just a little bit earlier that They can have a special URL, so that they can get some of the additional opportunities, they certainly were going to put a link to the book. But what is that URL again, if you'd like to just say it so that we've got it, a URL

Marcus Gillette
is asked veoh.com, forward slash love. And we've got some gifts available for them. I guided meditation with Theo in addition to others, and, and there's also the opportunity, there's a button there to push to purchase the new book as well.

Greg Voisen
And for all my listeners, I want you to know that if you just go to ask the o.com, you can learn more about meditations and dialogues, the live events, mentoring programs, and to become a member, but certainly go to the web website, we'll put a link to it as well. There's lots of information there. So it's a great place to go. And to learn more about a Marcus and Sheila. So Marcus in the chapter on loving yourself changes everything we state that if we were to imagine believing, knowing without a doubt, that any thought that was not unconditional, loving about ourselves was simply not true, very simply what Theo just said, what needs to transform about the fragmented parts of ourselves for us to become whole and realize the imagined state, without a doubt in our soul?

Marcus Gillette
Well, I think it's easier to you're accurately picking up on the word experience, you know, just thinking that we talked about our belief systems, but it's really so much more than a belief system. It's a knowing system. It's just from our own personal experience. There's a wholesale Sufi saying it only the full believes knows word over their own experience. And so it's all about personal experience, Greg in and I'll just kind of share briefly a perspective on what we hear over and over and over again, from our clients who've been working with Theo, to answer your question. And what we hear is that there are there are these moments of truth that I like to call them where he at an experience occurs that we would have been reacted to, in a nanosecond in a moment, we have been awareness, I don't have to do that anymore. That simply isn't who I am. Now I have a different level of awareness, I have a different level of understanding why I used to believe the things that I used to believe that would lead me to be emotionally reactive. And instead of being in that emotionally reactive state of being, we can be in a very emotionally masterful state of response in an observation and of awareness and asking ourselves the question, isn't that interesting? That's the way I used to be. Now I'm not that way anymore. What ends up happening is we end up establishing, maintaining healthy boundaries in our lives, which is a definition in and of itself of self-love, according to Theo, we begin to find ourselves it and again, in answering to your question. It's these awareness that keep coming in where all of a sudden, I'm not feeling that fear, or that resistance to take the action step necessary to move toward my dream, or that feeling I used to have, like she was just talking about not enough, that's not pretty enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough, not, whatever, the not enoughness not lovable enough, whatever those are. It's no longer in our it's not who we are anymore. You know, we can begin that why not me? And why not? Now, you know, one of our favorite things, if not you who and if not now, if not now, when and so, it's just an experience. And it's an experience of knowing the self, and adopting a belief of how lovable we really are, through our own personal experience and knowing based upon how we're responding to life instead of reacting to it anymore.

Sheila Gillette
It's not what you said, and Greg, I just have a little caveat to that. Because people will say, Oh, then that's conceited or arrogant, or any of those words that Marcus spoke about before. But it's not. When you get into that soul centered place. There's humility, because it's an unconditional loving place. It's not shown. Look at me, look at me. I'm so great. It's not that narcissistic experience that that we know and see and have experienced with others, but it's the soul centeredness. It's an energy that emanates from us as well, of calm and peace. Imagine being at peace and comfortable in your skin. No matter what challenge you're going through in life. That's what integration gives you.

Marcus Gillette
It's one final thing I got to add to that, too, is just the word non judgement. So we stopped judging others, right? And we stopped and we stopped judging ourselves credit and judgment and turns it into What used to be judgment, this is another yardstick, I guess you could call it or benchmark for how we're doing in this process. And that is simply that we stop judging, we end up feeling more compassion, we also allow ourselves to be more vulnerable. And in that vulnerability, we open up our hearts. And that raises our vibration just in and of itself, and having gratitude for all the things that we that we want to, in fact, manifest more. Because again, that's just that hard opening, that takes place that makes us more receptive. And it's just a beautiful expression, really, of self-love.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think the most important thing you said, and I'll repeat it for our listeners in a different way, was, I'm going to use this really quick story. At 21 years old, my eldest son got chronic myelogenous leukemia. And I picked up a book on spontaneous remission. Now, Sheila had her experience at the end of the bed with Jesus coming. But if you read these accounts of spontaneous remission, people, it was really quite phenomenal. You know, we're talking about people that had cancer, and the cancer just went away, right? So I prayed about this. And I looked for answers and solutions for him, but it was his journey, not mine. You never know why you bring this into your life, for what reason? But he did find that out. All right. And I think the most important thing is, is that you said, this can be instantaneous, and maybe didn't quite frame it. But you had this epiphany, like, boom, okay. Whereas I know for many of us, we like to carry that heavy baggage, because we have a story we can tell. And, you know, I call it you know, we live in the world of MSU, making stuff up, and then start believing the shit that we made up. And then so we made that up. So we start living that stuff. But I also know that you don't have to believe everything you think. Great. So you know, when you think a thought, what why make it a belief. And you said, Knowing and I want to get to that because knowing is very important. I say when your belief becomes a no. Okay, that is true for you. It doesn't have to be true for anybody else. But it's true for you. And whatever that may resonate with my listeners, they hear me enough so they understand where I'm coming from. I think that Theo in just the few minutes that you did make very clear Sheila, about resonating with loving yourself. And so this question is for you, you've got a great quote in the book from the Dalai Lama. Remember, the best relationship is the one in which our your love for each other exceed your mean for each other. Really, really, really, really important quote, quote, how do we possess the values and characteristics that we desire in another

Marcus Gillette
soul? Markets

Marcus Gillette
just for you. I heard Sheila

Sheila Gillette
Oh, you heard me? Oh. That's okay. We can repeat it, please. Oh, sure.

Greg Voisen
Sure. Sure. Sheila, you have a quote in the book from Dalai Lama, remember that the best is the one in which our love for each other exceeds our need for each other. I think that, really that is that's so powerful. Just Yeah, but how do we possess the values and characteristics that we desire in another soul? Because what we're saying is, well, I'm seeking a mate, seeking a partner for business, whatever it is, in relationship, I'm in relationship. But you know, what? If everyone read that Dalai Lama quote, they'd be like, wow, I don't have to be so resistant.

Sheila Gillette
Yeah, yeah. Got it. So what I'll say to that is, the old paradigm of relationship came from need. And typically, subconsciously, we try to fix the other person. Because the woundedness in me attracts the woundedness in you, and if I can fix you, you'll fix me. And that's an impossibility because it's an inside out job. So doing the work to gain that self-love, not self-criticism and judgment that we harshly do to ourselves, but realizing that we are these wonderful or magnificent, it's the outputs it beings. And when we begin to realize that not, as I said earlier from a narcissistic viewpoint, but from truth. And then we can attract to ourselves, someone who's done that work as well. So they're not looking to be fixed, they don't need somebody to fill up the hole of their heart. When they've done it, and you've done it, you come together preferentially. And really and today, you know, in the past, men and women's roles were so defined, that we needed each other to fulfill those roles. Well, now, we can do that for ourselves, men and women, we don't need the other in that sense of need. So now it's evolved to this new paradigm of relationship that is preferential partnership, collaboration, come companionship. Fun, you know, having fun with another and not having all these expectations that have gone on Matt not getting fulfilled in the relationship, they've already fulfilled. All those parts have healed, for lack of a better term, but we've come into the hole, as Thiel talks about it, it's becoming whole, the wholeness of our being, you could even say holiness of our being that soul centeredness. And when you do that all your relationships transformed. And I think it's,

Greg Voisen
it's kind of this sense of feeling full, feeling enriched and feeling alive, you know, that you're talking about the soul integration, in in so many relationships in so many cases where, you know, they've become public, I know, because I just finished watching the crown. And you look at the relationship between Philip and the Queen, right? And it was like, hey, they didn't have a relationship very much. But they had a wholeness that was fulfilling each other. And to her was kind of the duty right, it was the duty of being the Queen of England, Marcus in the chapter on honorable separation, you as the listener, it says you as the listener to consider the relationship as, as mobile. As you grow and expand psychically. And spiritually, you take steps toward manifesting your dreams and desires, you will find some in your life not supportive of your path. Just talking about this, what advice would you have for people, when they find their relationships have become imbalanced? And how can we end them in an honorable way? Well, I mean, you look today, I don't know. I don't know the statistics on divorce, but divorce is still pretty high. Right? Relationships. And, and when I was watching the crown, I was laying it was like, they were just doing divorces in the court. And then finally, the one comes with Diana, right? And it's like, oh, boy, this is a big deal, because everybody loved them. Right? It was like, Oh, how can these two get divorced? Right. So that talk with us about ending that honorably?

Sheila Gillette
That's what they tried to do.

Marcus Gillette
Yeah, this is such a good question. And this is a big question for a lot of people. You know, going back to the energetics of it all, as we raise our own vibrational frequencies, we become different, right? Our interests are different conversations we like to have with people are different, the personal experiences that we're having, are so much fun to share with those who get us and who are having similar experiences on their own. And it's just a different, it's a different conversation. I won't even use level it's just a different conversation. It feels different, right? There's more of a soulful connection that's taking place. And you know, the day Why wouldn't we want people in our lives and I'll get to the honorable separation in a minute, Greg, that don't support us. In other words, that we have certain visions and dreams and, and goals of becoming or doing or having something in our lives and if they're not supporting us, or at least respecting our decisions. They're looking, you know, through their own lenses of projecting through their own lenses of lack of interests or lack of ability to do the same. So if people aren't growing, and you're growing, there's a disconnect that takes place and it's not, you know, it's not a conscious act of being unkind it's not about hurting people's feelings. It's none of that. It's just simply what is right. You know, to quote the Dalai Lama again, you know, greatest source of all pain and suffering is resisting what isn't in the what is of this simply that I'm growing? And maybe you've chosen because of your belief system not to and not to support me and my growth? So it really boils down to energy. And are we in relationships that are up leveling up lifting? Are we in relationships that are adding and creating more alive and energy within ourselves and enthusiasm and joy to be together or not? You know, loyalty is a big conversation. It's you and I have this conversation quite frequently about loyalty and loyalty is not an entitlement. Right? It is something that we earn for with each other. obligation is interesting to Greg Thiel talks about obligation as being Are you doing it to be loved? To actually good opinions and others? Are you doing it out of love and wholehearted because it brings you joy. And so this relationship, mobile when you start to change, and people in your life aren't supportive are doing the same. And you're growing in your in your down a spiritual path most frequently.

Sheila Gillette
This can happen.

Marcus Gillette
It's you're just on a different wavelength, I guess is the best way of putting it and to know that it can, it can feel the separation can occur naturally doesn't have to be harsh, doesn't have to be hurt feelings. But one thing for sure, we know is that how you end one relationship, and let's just talk romantic relationships. The old paradigm is anger and blame, justification, defense, the new paradigm is to remember the love that you had for each other and to exit with love and respect and honor and compassion. And what that does energetically is creates a vibration for your next relationship that's going to match the vibration in which you left the previous one. I think that's the most important part is to know that we don't have to blame we don't have to be angry. Remember the love that we had. And just know that in the in the relationship mobile that it's okay. And if you find yourself doing things, to be loved out of obligation, because you still want to be accepted. And for whatever the purpose might be, you might consider the possibility of being just being aware that we do things to be were really full hearted is when it brings us more joy, more love in our lives.

Greg Voisen
I think you summed that up pretty good. And I remember and I think I when we did our pre interview call, I talked about this a bit. But you know, that's so apparent to me is I tell you about this stuff that we make up. And I always would encourage people to say, is it true? Is it really true? Because we like to make up stories. And that's not my statement, who that come from? I forget what is her name? She's, you know, Byron, Katie, and I loved her because, you know, when is it true? Is it really true? Or is it something you just made that you started to believe? And now you're saying, hey, look, this other person's, you know, like, they're full of crap, right? And you can heal yourself as much by asking those questions, and heal relationship. And I'm not saying to just hang on, just because you want to hang on what I'm saying is, maybe think about it a little bit. Think about yourself in relationship. How are you in the relationship? And that's probably one of the biggest epiphanies I think anyone could have. So Marcus and Sheila, the art of relationship is filled with great stories and dialogues with the field. What is it about our relationships with ourselves and others in our life that we need to understand and the purpose for having these relationships so that we can grow as human

Sheila Gillette
souls? You know, one of my favorite things that Theo has said, and in all the years have been working within the decades actually, is if you live alone, you can always be right. Because you don't have anybody reflecting to you. What you need to see about yourself that maybe a different point of view or a different way of thinking could advance your knowledge. We're here together and we're better together than we are apart. And our dial Dogs, you know what's happened in the last few years, the divisive pneus that has separated us is we haven't been able to have a dialogue with people that have a different opinion than we do. And that's where we grow. You know, somebody gives us a different opinion, and we can take it in and think about it, and glean something that will help us grow. But the trick is the respect, you know, respecting each other and knowing that we all have something to offer our relationships.

Greg Voisen
And I also would add to that she learned to read something that maybe you normally wouldn't read. That's not to say they wouldn't read your book. But I say this because it opens up your perspective about the world. It opens up the ideas, you know, you it takes radical curiosity sometimes to find the solution. And these kinds of things where you would become opening open up to listening to what the Oh has to say, right? Because there's still a lot of people out there that wouldn't believe this and what I'm trying to say to them as today, open your mind. There is wisdom here, in the words of Theo and the archangels, the 12 archangels, please take an opportunity if you're not as open to doing that, because you might learn something, right? So I would say being receptive and open to it. It's so much easier to shut down and go no, no, no, no, I don't believe any of that stuff. It's just not what I'm going to do. And I'm saying it's probably more enlightening, enriching and insightful for you, if you would take the opportunity to do that. And with that, Marcus will pin this question back to you. And what would you like to say about that? Well,

Marcus Gillette
first thing I would say is don't worry about the messengers, you know, just read the messages and take them in and see how they feel. And what's cool about the book, I think, is the actual personal experiences of people talking to feel in each chapter. And then their own their own personal response and sharing of their stories, following their obsession with it with some of these are stories that we have followed for a year and more and how their lives unfolded, after embracing these teachings. So don't worry about the messengers. Theo doesn't care if you believe in them speaking through Sheila, if you can't get your head around the fact that Archangels are speaking through this beautiful woman, that's okay, no big deal. But listen to the messages, because the messages are, are super powerful. The only last thing I want to share an answer to your question about the purpose of incarnating. And the purpose of human relationships in general is that learning of emotions, is what Theo says, as his as the purpose for why we came here, people say, Well, what's my purpose, what your purpose is here, you're here in human incarnation you won the lottery is deal with today, you're here in a human body, you get to do all these wonderful things we get to do as humans, and that the uniqueness of this experience is the learning of emotions. And I've asked the few times, what is that? What is the purpose of that in terms of the eternal journey of the soul? What's the soul get out of coming into human form for however many years we're here, and then moving on to the next experience, and maybe it's another incarnation, or Theo says there's billions of opportunities for the soul to experience multi dimensionally. And they say, it's about the learning of emotion to what people really are looking for, as they consider it a purpose, but it's really a passion. So what, what these teachings are really all about, I think, and I'll just conclude with this, Greg, I think that these teachings are about removing, but integrating all of the untrue beliefs about ourselves. So we can move into a life that is a life of passion, of aliveness of waking up every morning, just, you know, really enthusiastic about what we get to go do and how we get to serve and how we get to be whatever that form an expression might be. So I think that's kind of the bottom line for me in terms of No, I

Greg Voisen
think it's so true. And like I said, I would like people to open up to this and be receptive to it and go get the book. The other thing I would say is, you know, we've talked in in bout and around emotions which are uncomfortable, you know, and the most important thing that I think Sheila said was you need to embrace those, you know, Theo would say embrace those because what are you going to learn from them? What are you going to learn from the you weren't put here in like, what I want to call a balloon, just to kind of go through life and not have these great experiences, and many of them occur in our greatest amount of discomfort. Whether was going through your near death experience or losing a child or losing a mother, a father, I know this last couple of years, I lost two brothers, my mother, you know, you know that those kinds of things and how you learn how to internalize what's going on with inside yourself and deal with it is what's important and become a better person on the other side. I think the key is to just become a good person. Right? I thought that's about the sound, my sound advice today, but it could just be a good person. And you too, are great people. And with that, Namaste, I'm going to end this podcast and just thank you both for being on and for my listeners. We've been talking with Sheila and Marcus Gillette. And the book is The Art of relationships, discover the magic of unconditional love, go get a copy. We'll have a link to that. We'll also put the link up, as Marcus said, to the free gifts that we're offering you. Thank you both for being on inside personal growth. Namaste to each of you.

Sheila and Marcus Gillette
Blessings to you, Greg, thank you so much.

powered by

My guest for today’s podcast is author, speaker and transformational coach Jeanine Thompson. She just released her new book entitled 911 From Your Soul last September.

Jeanine is an agent of change and a key leader supporting complex global acquisitions and divestitures. With her doings, she has partner with individuals, teams, and audiences in service of living all you came here to be and elevating the highest good of humanity.

Her clients are senior executives, leaders and entrepreneurs who are high performers. They’ve excelled and succeeded on many levels in life and business. Despite their success, they often feel restless and unfulfilled.

No doubt on Jeanine’s expertise as she was personally mentored by renowned transformational expert, Marci Shimoff. She is also a Certified High Performance Coach (CHPC) trained by the High Performance Institute, founded by Brendon Burchard, and a Rapid Transformational Therapy Practitioner (RTTP).

Adding to her line of amazing works, Thompson introduces us to seven key spiritual principles—The Soul Solution—that empower us to answer the call from our Soul and unleash our highest potentiality in all areas of life through her new book 911 From Your Soul. Moreover, she shows us how to harness “the beauty of the and” to fully enliven what life is offering to and through us, even in our most challenging moments.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Jeanine, you may click here to visit her website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Jeanine Thompson. Thanks and happy listening!

THE BOOK

Despite outward success, many of us are still filled with restlessness and a yearning for something more in our lives. Transformational coach Jeanine Thompson shows us this longing isn’t a drive toward more achievement, but rather a desire to return home to ourselves.

We are coded to evolve and the greatest invitations in our life often arise masquerading as the details of challenge or crisis. Yet the most powerful source of untapped potential is one many of us have lost sight of.

Leveraging her own powerful story and those of her clients, Jeanine introduces us to seven key spiritual principles—The Soul Solution—that empower us to answer the call from our Soul and unleash our highest potentiality in all areas of life. Moreover, she shows us how to harness “the beauty of the and” to fully enliven what life is offering to and through us, even in our most challenging moments.

THE AUTHOR

As a former Fortune 50 HR executive, I know the vast agility required to succeed in business. Despite excelling, I was always left feeling ‘that something missing’.

Going into the realm of awareness, I explored broadly within the non-traditional; energy, diverse wisdom traditions, texts, spirituality, yoga, as well as neuroscience, psychology, physiology, and biology.

Go deep enough and each practice takes you to the very same place: the irresistible doorway to your Soul.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Well welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining me from Winona Minnesota now is going to say with a soda Minnesota is Jeanine Thompson and Janine has a new book out. And I hope all of you can see this, but if you can't, it's 911 From the Soul, and the forward is by Marcy Shem. Off, we were talking about her last time when we had a discussion. Janine and I and very much, someone who's been on the show a couple of times, and just a very old soul and very wise person. So great person to write your introduction. And now I know how she wrote your introduction. You guys all met in California together. So that was pretty cool. So how are you doing today?

Jeanine Thompson
I am great. Thank you. We've got a very light picturesque snowfall today. So feels like we're settling into our new season. And I'm excited.

Greg Voisen
Well, it's good to be in your energy, as always, and thank you, and I'm gonna let the listeners know a little bit about you. She's a former fortune 50 HR executive with vast agility. She basically worked in these companies. But during that time, too, she had a master's in social work, a certified high performance coast, former psychotherapist and evidence based CBT. So highly successful executive. And she led diverse human resource teams across the globe, delivering keynotes to large audiences and helping navigate the way toward profitability while empowering personnel and personal growth. She is a change agent Most definitely. And she's a change eight or J agent with this book, I'm gonna say because this is something for people to wake up to. She also has a lot of what she refers to at her website as non-traditional credentials. And I think my audience ought to know about that. One is rapid, transformational therapy practitioner. So it's hypnotherapy, NLP and CBT. She's a Reiki Master and former registered yoga instructor or what are why t? Well, you've got a great background. She's a giver, Scott a big heart, wonderful person go up to Janine thompson.net. Janine thompson.net. And we will actually put a link to that Janine, and everybody will put a link to this book on Amazon. So go out and get a copy of this book as well. I think for all of you, we just set our intentions before we started this podcast. And I think for all of my listeners who are very in tune with the message that you have, will certainly be extremely receptive to what you have to say. So let's just kind of start this off, you know, as I said, Marsha Shem off wrote in the foreword to your book, that you obviously you guys doing a workshop together, are so inspired, Soul directed, and also pragmatic and practical. And that comes from, you know, your work ethic and working inside these big companies. This is where the rubber meets the road in terms of human consciousness, the space where infinite understanding needs action and spiritual principles meet success matrix. Can you tell the listeners a little about you, which I did, but also why you decided to write 911 from the soul? It's always a good place to start. It's like, okay, what makes an author want to actually author their book and what got them so engaged in doing

Jeanine Thompson
it? Yeah. So thank you for that lovely introduction, Greg. It is just great to be with you and your listeners. You know a little bit about me, I would say that one of the things that I value most in life, I will start there are my two children, Tanner and Taylor, my family, my friends, chosen family. I just treasure so very much in life. I love cooking. I love great wine. I love travel. So there's a lot that I love in life. And that's probably not a surprise, given my eclectic background, you know, as you described, there's been kind of three big chunks from psychotherapy to Fortune 50 executive internationally, to kind of the transformation and spirituality, space.

Greg Voisen
While you're curious. You're you are definitely I call you radically curious boy You're curious, you're always wanting to know why

Jeanine Thompson
I am. And that was part of when you asked, gosh, what why did you decide to write this book in particular? You know, Greg, I was struck by how when we connect the dots in reverse, because particularly through my 20s, and 30s, I thought, you know, I was 100%, in control of my life, I was, you know, well studied, I was thinking I was directing, influencing, going to control if I just showed up in life, I really could manage and direct absolutely everything that happened in my life. And it became so clear to me, honestly, with age that there were synchronistic events in my life that I simply could not have orchestrated, that I couldn't have planned my career coach in college, nobody sets up a career path like that they often ran, what one would think antithetical to one another. So it started me reflecting on the great mystery in life, and what other forces were in play within myself, within others, and the world. And then the actual book itself was during a time in my life, where the details looked great from the outside, I had a wonderful family, super close relationship with my kids and friends, the big job travel, all of the accoutrements of success, what we are taught success is and what we strive for. And despite all of that, I kept waking up in the middle of the night, with these whispers that there was something more for me. And I thought, oh my gosh, for crying out loud, just be grateful. Look at, look at your life, be grateful. And I was grateful. I had a gratitude practice. But I couldn't gratitude, the yearning away. And that yearning caused me to go on what I call the great search, which is what was that something missing?

Greg Voisen
So when you're so radically curious, I have a question. You know, this word comes up to people that are extremely successful, have been quote, successful, like yourself, and it's the word contentment. And I always, you know, I've, I've interviewed so many people who've done so much they've written books, they've traveled the world, they've, they've started up companies, they've done this, they've done that. And then if you ask them, if they're content, they go, No. And I'm like, well, let's see. Maybe there's a different word for you, what is it that brings that soul in that piece, and that vibration necessary to keep that contentment in your life

Jeanine Thompson
many things one is being tuned in. So and being aware of, of my level of joy, and flow and what I'm currently doing for each of the three big chunks of my career as I was an evidence based psychotherapist, I loved it for the vast majority of the time, I was in that role. But then, you know, about nine years in I was like, there’s got to be something more and even then I was tuned into okay, this served a purpose I love helping others co create more mental health and wellbeing and, and transformation in their life through that facet. Same when I was a fortune 50 Exec. I loved it for the first nine plus years, and I started to get that whisper again. There's something more so when you asked me I think part of it and I think we'll talk about it more as we go on, is being dialed in to what does that voice inside? What's it whispering? Do you wake up on fire? Like there came a time when that something missing when I was an executive? I wasn't waking up fully alive and on fire I was yay me cannot wait to get on a plane and travel another two to 300,000 miles a year, which is what I was doing. But in the beginning I loved every I honestly I just loved it so much. So when your soul is starting to say, the next evolution of your growth is beckoning. You will always He's always be given signs, symptoms signals in advance. Hmm.

Greg Voisen
You know, you, I read the whole part about your traveling and being in places like China and or waking up and not remembering even where you were, you know, and I think that's pretty symptomatic of people who are traveling two 300,000 miles a year. And you just mentioned that over the 20 years that you were, psychotherapist that you lived in a world where everything was evidence based. So this is a huge shift, because, you know, we're hearing the voice. I know, so many listeners are hearing the voice, but not responding. And my question is, partially, why don't we respond? Why do we ignore? And what happened to you to move you more toward this spiritual dimension? And where you could discern the soul's calling? Because you know, you, you have responded, right? And maybe response isn't the word. But in I know, it's like, okay, well, we want to brush it under the carpet, we hear it, and then it comes back up again. And it comes back up again and comes back up again. But because the Western world and the outside world has us in all the trappings, it's very difficult sometimes for people to say, well, that's what my soul wants me to do. But I don't know if I can afford to do it. And I don't know if I can do that, you know, and there's so there's these, those echoing voices of doubt that happen, right? If somebody's going to break free, you know, it isn't as many people as you think, like you that actually break free from something like what you had. I think if you asked many of them, they're still there. Right? Yes. And they either they're hating it, or they've just learned to live with it. So two part question. It's like, Yeah, you were on this evidence based path, but you had, you know, how did you wake up to this and then go, Okay, I make better decisions. I'm gonna like make a decision to move and to, to actually hear the soul's calling.

Jeanine Thompson
Okay, so a couple of things. You had also thrown another question in there, I want to address first, which is why do we ignore it? And I think we ignore it for many reasons. I'll use myself for an example, when I heard in Mexico, that I can no longer do this. I was talking with the girlfriend, we were having cocktails. And I heard myself say out loud, I can't do this anymore. When the kids graduate, I've, I'm going to do something else. And I damn near dropped my cocktail on the floor. Because it felt like something else was speaking through me at that time. I still I totally still love my job. And so some of the reasons why we don't listen is it's not in line with our human plan. My human plan was to leave my fortune 50 job in four years, and it was four years too early. It didn't meet my financial plans, it was going to upset the applecart on my planning system. So a lot of times we ignore the whisper, because it's going to cause a shift in our life that we don't feel ready for. Hmm. You know, and so that was true for me. And then you ask, well, how did you How do you go from evidence based, you know, to the more spiritual awakening side of the equation, I started out as a kid, very intuitive, I had premonition significant premonitions, premonitions that were realized. But as a kid, and particularly growing up in a religious family, I couldn't make sense of them. So I shut it down. And my aunt was a psychotherapist, and I loved her dearly, and I wanted to be like her. So I just decided in fifth grade, I was going to be a psychotherapist. And I think part of me chose the evidence path because I was fighting what I couldn't make sense of as a kid, which I had to shut that down. And I did love science. And I love that we could say we had a 90% efficacy rate effectiveness rate with OCD, panic disorder, like I loved the treatment. But there came a time in my life, where when I was on the great search, looking for what was missing, trying to figure out that persistent yearning, my familiar solutions, the science wasn't Giving me the answers. The experts weren't giving me the answers. And ultimately, in that search, it led me to yoga, yoga and Reiki. And for the first time in my life, I have learned about mind body, and spirit, and soul and energy. I didn't know that as an evidence based therapist, right? So all of a sudden, this whole world simultaneously was opening up within me and around me. And I started exploring sacred sites and sacred text and oh my gosh, just the whole range shamans, healers, like everything, because there was this magnetic pole that I simply could not resist, to understand this inner genius inside of us that I have, yeah, there's

Greg Voisen
something always so much more, you said the human plan. And I like how you put that because we do have human plans that we get attached to, right. And I think in Buddhism and many practices, it's like, it's that attachment to the outcome, that really can create lots of pain and suffering, because we don't have the flexibility to move around it. My, my least my listeners, you know, can relate, but I was speaking with them. And you'll get this and Dr. Brian Ullman and Dr. Freddie, who came up with those ace studies at Kaiser. So when you take those ace studies, it determines adverse childhood experiences, and how those have dramatically affected you. And, you know, did you gain weight, or, you know, are you going to live a little bit longer, a little bit less, whatever it is, it was interesting, what he said, was, you know, until the people have a spiritual experience, no matter how much we work with them, because it's really, ultimately their path to spiritual, and many of them do not heal fully. And I thought that was pretty brave of somebody who's an MD and somebody who's doing all these things to say, look, you know, it's really about when these people awaken. Really, that's, that's what it is, it's like, when you awaken, you can actually make a full transformation of yourself, and heal PTSD, and heal these childhood kind of traumas that you're reading or anxiety attacks are all the other things that we label them, right? Because we need a label for them. So the insurance companies can pay for the treatment, or ain't so. But I thought it was really quite interesting. Do you have a comment on that?

Jeanine Thompson
I do. So I think a couple of things. I think that every presentation, whether it is physical or psychological, all have a spiritual underpinning. I think that our body truth always precedes our mind lies. And so. And if we unpack that a little bit, there's a lot of punch to that statement. I just said, our body truth precedes our mind lies. When we have tight shoulders when we have GI issues like I did significant GI issues

Greg Voisen
lead to, I used to have, yeah, me too.

Jeanine Thompson
I do. They're gone now. But it definitely was a reflection of a time in my life where the dynamic exchange of given take of rest and play of personal and professional were way out of whack. I wasn't digesting life. I was not.

Greg Voisen
But why don't we give ourselves permission for that? You know, you know, it's really an interesting dilemma and conundrum. You know, and I know you're gonna answer a lot of my listeners questions, because the questions I'm asking you what, while maybe not quite on this, is, they're really important. You know, it's like we're denying ourselves permission to be who we really would like to be. Because that voice inside is so strong. That overrides the whole soul's calling to say, Well, you've got to live up to your mom, you got to live up to your dad, you got to live up to your boss, you got to live up to your wife, you got to live up to somebody, you know, it's like we're always trying to be something for somebody else. So why don't we give ourselves permission, Jimmy?

Jeanine Thompson
Yeah, but I think that there. I think it's nuanced, right? I think some people don't give themselves permission. Because if they're living largely from an Earth view, from their conditioned view, their personality, the biases, they've been taught the messages As they've been taught that they can only be so big in life before they're sure to fail, it's harder to give themselves permission. But I will also so that we can work on it, if that is the presentation, we can learn how to be calm, become more permission based, I've had great success, helping clients with that. And I will also say this, there is an intelligence to divine timing that we don't choose. So I've often also worked with people and certainly saw it in my self, where it's like, dammit, Now is my time. So I am going to push this through, I am going to do depth to that to that. But actually, our body was telling us it was tight, it wasn't ready. The pathway to whatever we were going to do was hard. It was obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. And we didn't listen to the lack of resonance along the way. And we tried to push divine timing, when it actually wasn't yet our time. So I think that there's this very artful balance, to make sure that we're not stuck in a conditioned Earth view in our 70,000 thoughts a day that says, You who don't get too big for your britches, you couldn't possibly

Jeanine Thompson
do that. And really tuning in inward. And say, show me the way helped me recognize the signs of time.

Greg Voisen
I think that's the key. Janine, is that we don't ask for guidance enough. Yes. Because we feel we're weak if we do that. So where many people are trying to do I'm going to come from a male perspective, right? There's number one, you'll find that maybe most males aren't as spiritual, but a lot are, but and that's a generalization. But on the other hand, it's like, Whoa, I gotta ask for help. And for I help from this amorphous, inanimate thing that I don't know what it is, but I know, I believe there's something there. Right. So it's, you know, you look at this strong belief, is it a truth? Is it a truth for me? And this, you know, obviously, this is the age old question, because I've said this on shows before, religion has done more to divide people, that has to actually bring people together, spirituality, spirituality on their hand, has done more to bring people together than to divide people. Now, I'm not down on religions, Judaism, Catholicism, whatever it is that you're practicing. What I'm saying is the dogma associated with the rules that you have to follow are the things that actually break people. Right? Would you agree with that?

Jeanine Thompson
Absolutely. As somebody who came from a highly religious background, and I have a great appreciation for aspects of many traditions, I love to study many, many traditions. However, for me, for example, really, I grew up thinking the power was out there up in the sky, kind of all controlling, kind of punishing, you know, kind of disclosure generi, and who was in or out a very different belief system than I hold today.

Greg Voisen
I thought it was, I thought it was interesting and comment, then I'm gonna move on to your sole solution. I happen to watch the crown, and Philip was addressing the Queen, his mother. And he she said, you have to uphold the Christianity, and the beliefs of the church and whatever. And he said, But Mother, you're living in the past. I want to recognize Jews and Muslims, and every faith there is, and that's what's wrong with Britain. Right? So he says it like right to her face. And obviously, she was astounded by the answer he gave. But I think so importantly, as we've evolved, it's like we have to evolve because we're all one and you state in the book to be felt and experienced. And it centers around seven core principles. And you call these the sole solution. Can you speak about the seven core principles because we're talking about spirituality now, and how they can be utilized in daily life?

Jeanine Thompson
Yeah. So that those were Because I write very deliberately. And when I say I want you this book is meant to be felt and experience. Many people can breeze through a book and read it with their human eyes. And then it's like, oh, that was interesting or not, or whatever their perspective is done with a book, I actually want you to, ideally read the words with your heart. And some of your like, Oh, my God, what does that even mean? For right now, just say, I'm going to read this with openness with as much expansiveness as I can. And when you come to a practice it ask you a question, because in that moment, answer it at the end of the chapter. Get out your journal, get out your voice memo on your phone, answer the questions, you'll be astonished how they changed throughout the book, we now know that reading alone is helpful. But when it's actually tested and tested, and try, and you're experiencing it, it's got more stickiness, and then you will truly know if it's resonant with you or not. Regarding the soul solution, the seven key spiritual principles, and just the big buckets for our listeners are mind, soul, body, heart service, gratitude, and love. And there, I'll give you an example of a principle I direct my mind in service of my soul. So if we unpack that, in each of the chapters, I have an Earth view, like the Earth view of mind, our 70,000 thoughts a day come from our conditioned self, the experiences that shaped us growing up, limitations, biases, beliefs. And so you shed an Earth view, we look for what could go wrong, we beat the crap out of ourselves, our inner critic is on high alert, saying you should have done this, you could have done this. We only see what's humanly possible. In a soul view. It's an unlimited camp canvas, the what if is flipped in an Earth view? It's what would could go What if this goes wrong, and it's disasters creates ruin for me, in a soul view? The whatever it is, oh my gosh, like, what? What is? What is beyond possible? What if I see for other people? What if the best possible outcome happened that there was no chance of happening? What would that look like? As the sole view mind says, you've got this, you've done so many hard things before. Look at what you've done. You have got this. So and then there's living at the beauty of the end, which is while I'm traversing in a, a wonder suit of a body, as a spiritual being having a human experience, how do I live, from my soul view more often than my Earth view? So in every chapter, there's kind of very practical, tangible kind of questions to help a shift out of the Earth view we're steeped in, that media reinforces every day, like all around us is limitation. You are not enough. You don't eat the right things. You don't have the right bank account, you don't have the right house, you don't have the right car, you don't have the right education. You don't have the right physical body, it's all about you are not enough. But none of that is truth. And then when we step into this soul view, you don't even have to believe it. Just initially be willing to shift and some of the soul view perspectives and just see what happens. Have a willingness to test and try. And that's true.

Greg Voisen
It's so beautifully said, what pops up for me, as an add on to this is it's like a stripping away. To be able, I'm going to use the term almost become naked. It's like you're wearing this coat and you're clothed with all of these things from the outside until you can become naked. Now I know because I've done so many interviews around people that are longing to have the experience, but then it doesn't stick they go, oh, well, you and I'm going to take the psycho Silvan and I'm going to go trip out a little bit and have this big spiritual experience. Or I'm going to do the iOS guy or I'm going to go like Michael Pollan's three part Netflix series. On, you know, the this, you see what happens to people. They want it so bad, yet in the earthly world without the aid of something else. So whether it's, you know, LSD or it's, or it's taking Ayahuasca it's doing well, they don't seem to be able to get there. Many people, right, there's, there's a lot of people like that. So question for you. I mean, I'm not asking you to advocate the use of any of these things. But how to the regular person out there listening right now? Do they get to that stripped down version, where they take the coat off? And they just feel alive?

Jeanine Thompson
Yeah. So listen, I honestly think that's what these seven core principles do. They really are a daily blueprint, you talked about, you know, some Plant Therapy experiences to get you there. With these seven principles are I would love for your readers, print them out, put them in your bedroom closet, have a copy with a post it note on your computer, because what they actually are, are a tangible blueprint, that every single day, every decision, even every thought you become aware of each of the principles are a facet of our human perspective, and our spiritual perspective. And it will help you live the truth, the soul truth, the higher truth and allow you teach you to let it take command and the helm of your life. These

Greg Voisen
that's the key, though, let it take command. I mean, if I was going to underline anything, it would be yes, you have to realize that that's more important than the coat. And it needs I'm using the code as a metaphor. All of the outside world, the ego edging God out as ego, you know, has been said to stand for. But that thing has to kind of be there. And you know, one of the things you mentioned was about, you know, the tightening of the shoulders and your GI problem and all the stress you were having from your travel. And you lamented over the decision to take what you did when you were leaving your job. I'm kind of going backwards again now because we're pretty deep in the interview. But this is decisions that people who are listening have to make. And I think then they should hear from you. How you really lamented over this as well, you were pretty attached to all this other stuff as well. And you like you said you're on that trip in Mexico, and you suddenly heard the voice President within speaking to you like you said, you almost dropped your cocktail glass or maybe you did drop your cocktail. How would the incident in your life and how would you advise the listeners to hear the call and guidance from the soul? And what are some of the signs that maybe you heard or that your clients hear? But sometimes ignore meaning? Hey, I got tight shoulders, I got gi problems I've got whatever it might be because you were a Reiki Master you work with people on all kinds of body things. Maybe it's not manifesting itself in the body. Maybe it's all mental. Usually it does manifest someplace in the body, something happens. But I'd love to hear from you. How people transform.

Jeanine Thompson
So a couple of things. One, it is so clear to me now that soul and life are speaking to us every single day. When I heard that voice come through me in Mexico I never forgot it. Now the truth was I said before I was scared I wasn't ready to act on it because was four years ahead of my human plan. But then that was okay. I got to honor my non readiness because seven months later I come home from the plane on China and then there's you know, get called into a CEOs office and he's like Shane, we came up with a brilliant plan to offer a generous buyout

Greg Voisen
all are never reading this. Yes. And I was

Jeanine Thompson
like so we can trust by the way, folks. If you don't feel ready, life will either honor that for a while like it did. For me and gives you another swing. And you're still not going to go, oh, yeah, I'm ready. But maybe you're more willing. And I was willing at that time, or it gets louder, and something actually gets stripped away in our lives. Something gets tipped upside

Greg Voisen
down. That's what I wanted to hear your help.

Jeanine Thompson
I mean, sometimes we just flat ass, don't listen. And then life gets really loud. But life first your soul and the energy of life around you speaks and gives you love notes every single day. So some of the ways you might hear that, you might hear it. In turn light, I frequently woke up at 333. And heard, there's something more for you. And it was constant. And there were two messages and that numbers, do you see repeating numbers?

Greg Voisen
I see him all the time. So what is 1111? Mean? Or 111? I've been I've been dealing with 1111 and 111. For years now. It's like, I pay attention, let me tell you, because I mean, a lot of it's on my phone,

Jeanine Thompson
particularly as it is a very powerful number sequence. But it is about pay attention to these moments, these words, these thoughts this energy right now, because they're of a higher manifesting quality at 111 1111. So that is always a message about 10 to the quality of your thoughts. Because is what you're thinking speaking right now, actually what you want to create. There's a there's a thinner portal, portal and Vale at that time. So 1111 super important. 333 the angels were guiding me saying there's personal growth ahead. Personal growth ahead. And I'm like, Yeah, but I'm not quite ready just yet. I'll let you know when I'm ready. So yeah, so sometimes you're going to hear whispers, sometimes you'll know it, when you squelch your voice and ends to fit in to please someone else, you say something to be on point with their point of view. And inside, there's such a lack of resonance, your belly tightens up, you've you just know it wasn't your truth. Even as you speak it, there is resonance. Sometimes somebody will say something and you get goosebumps, you get these, your hair standing up on your arms, or so you might get physical resonance, you might get a resonance of when you meet somebody, like I felt deeply resonant with you when we clicked in our first comment. I just like felt it right, because that is listeners, you know, when you click with somebody, and you know their truth, even when they're not speaking it. Sometimes somebody says all the right words, and they're standing in front of you go, something doesn't feel right here. Some see our body truth precedes our mind lies our bodies that Brahman

Greg Voisen
are like that. I like that statement. I'd actually never heard that. Thank you. Our body truth exists, precedes our mind lives.

Jeanine Thompson
Yes. And it's so powerfully true. And by the way, for years, I would always listen to My Earth view mine that said, Yes, I know. I'm having GIS use. Yes, I know. I'm exhausted, exhausted and, and almost falling asleep on my computer. And you know what body? I'm going to rest after this next trip. Yeah, for 10 years. That never happened. Right? So we have inspired creativity. Listeners, how many of you have had a shower moment where it's like, that's it. How many of you were you're busy mind, you let it soften during a sunset, and empty. And while you got lost in the sunset, while you got lost in the star, or the waves of the ocean or maybe the plants on your deck if you live in a city that all of a sudden you're relaxed, and you got an inspired idea, a creative download, right? We the voice of soul speaking to us all the time. Nature speaks to us every day. Nature has so many voices. It is always sending messages to you. All right, one day I and there's pictures on my website of me Nature pitchers, I've got 1000s of them because nature's always got a message. And I was preparing for an interaction I was complaining about and dreading. And I went out to my deck and I was watering my basil leaves. And, and my basil plant, and in one of the leaves was this perfectly heart shaped cut hole just in one leap. And I always whenever I notice whatever I notice in nature, I just pause and say, what does what does this mean for me, like me to learn? I close my eyes, I listen, and I heard very clearly, you know how to find love, in everything. Go find love, be the love in this interaction. And sure enough, I went on the call. And I changed my whole tone and tenor. And I showed up with more compassion, I showed up and let him know how much I had appreciated what he had been doing. I acted like love. I offered him love that forever changed the whole course of the relationship, all because of a basil leaf. Nature,

Greg Voisen
you know? So does it does work that way. In

Jeanine Thompson
physical world, there are dreams, there are numbers, there are animals, if an animal crosses your path, or is looking at you or playing around in your yard, look up the animal totem. There's a message for you. You see life, and this universe is actually for you. And we're so busy stuck in our 70,000 thoughts. We have missed the hundreds of messages of support every day.

Greg Voisen
So true. I did an interview way back when with a gentleman on signs and symbols. All right, I so believe that you know, it. If you wake up to the hawk at the top of the tree, or the eagle that you see flying across the sky or the bird, and you ponder the significance of that in your life, or the beautiful sunset or whatever it might be, like you said the heart carved in with it, it truly does make a difference. And it is something that you can draw significance from right significance like an actions wise you can go and do. And you speak about the art of pause. So you had the pause to see the leaf as you put it in the space between where you are now and where you'll be next. Right? It's like okay, I got the leaf now, what's next kind of thing? And I think the art and the essence is staying with it. You know, I just did an interview that brought up staying in spots when you're making better decisions, actually stay in the problem longer, stay with it and resonate inside of it. You state that it will make us squirm and that will be uncomfortable. Yes. How would you advise become uncomfortable with the uncomfortable because I think for a lot of people, whether it's whatever they see whatever it is that comes in front of their desk, it they can't stay with the uncomfortable. It's like they've got to fix it. What I'm saying is sometimes staying with the uncomfortable in the state, you come up with a better solution.

Jeanine Thompson
So I think a couple of things. One, it makes sense, because we are a pain avoidant pleasure seeking society, we are taught to fix it rushed to the solve, make it go away as soon as possible. And the real art is in being with it. We need to dispel the myth that you need to fix it. I literally want your listeners to say to themselves, I am not this discomfort. I am the awareness. Aware of the discomfort. I can notice it. I can feel it. It can be sad, uncomfortable, overwhelming. And as awareness. This pain is not me. See sometimes and I've worked in a hospital for 10 years, people got so steeped in their pain stories. They thought they were the pain. And when we can learn that we can be aware of the pain. And we actually can go in and ask it questions. It's amazing what you will hear from group segments in your body. But I do think Some of this there is some cognitive strategies. I am not this discomfort I, I can, I am okay, with discomfort, I'm going to be okay. I think tactically also somatic exercises that signal safety to the body are really highly beneficial, we got to get back into our body. So if your listeners look at the palm of their hand, from a practical exercise, you'll notice in your four fingers, they're each divided into three segments. And literally in each segment, like the first segment, I want you to close your eyes and inhale. The second segment, exhale, the third segment on your pinky. Inhale, go to the bottom segment of your ring finger, exhale. Inhale, exhale, and so forth. Do 24 rounds of inhale, and exhale, we help harmonize our parasympathetic and sympathetic response. So I do believe one of the ways of getting comfortable of dealing with discomfort is doing some somatic I think Hal Meeks, but there's something significant about this one, because you'll notice it directs the energy from your mind, as you're moving from each segment, the inhale the exhale, get you some balance there. So that's important. I also think you want to give discomfort space, if you're feeling really uncomfortable, really antsy, really scared. Even go sit outside on yourself, did the discomfort, the space of nature, it's pretty remarkable. When we take our discomfort outside, what happens, it starts to feel a little smaller, you can connect with the sun and allow the rays light up your cellular structure inside, you can feel the win and ask it to soften and lighten it. But so much of discomfort, again is a myth that we don't like it. So make it go away instead of Hello, messenger. What do you got today? Bring it on? I know I'm not you. So if you have a little more strength and intensity, what do you have to say? What do you need from me? Right? What's one tiny little thing you'd like right now. And when we'd be friend, discomfort to as a voice of intelligence, and it'll move through more quickly.

Greg Voisen
Great advice, especially the part about the somatic breathing, I'm gonna call it somatic breathing. Because, yeah, that's what I would say. And, you know, your understanding of the soul, and you state this in the book is that it's the external essence, it's a subtle energy frequency, which is connected to an invisible grid of the unit of the universe intelligence. It is simultaneously your life and the life of the universe. I think there's an important element associated with the definition here. Because the listeners, hey, if you look at this, the word soul up in the dictionary, it's gonna say one thing, if you're going to look it up all over, it's gonna say something else, speak with our listeners about this energy. And that when we are in touch with it, how we transform as human beings because this is the matrix we're talking about, right? It's like this universal matrix of energy. And you've been speaking about how we're going to transform by being in touch with that vibrational poll, right? And many of my listeners know, you know, the crown chakra all the way down the chakras. We're familiar with that in the breathing techniques and the meditation, but you're actually speaking about something, which is, I'm going to say even larger than that, you know, and that has its own definition, right? Meaning, hey, I can define I can look at the crown chakra and all the way down, make sure my chakras are aligned and all that. But what you're talking about is this universal matrix, this connectivity to the one to everything. When people say, Oh, I've had this experience, Janine, I'm one with all that and right, and some people never have it in their life and then other people have it and they go, man, it was the most awesome experience I had, or the people that go do ayahuasca and they say I was one with all right. Speak with us about that, because this is an important element as far as I'm concerned.

Jeanine Thompson
Yeah. So a couple of things. Thank you for reading how I would describe Seoul. And this is what I would say to the listeners, if Seoul is an award that works for you, Tryon and Teleki. I in Teleki, is a Greek principle that says the seed of potential and realization, it is the Intel a key of an acorn seed to become an oak tree, the Intel a key of a caterpillar to become a butterfly. So first, let's not get caught up on the label. Because sometimes we'll get caught up on the label and they dismiss it. But whether you call it intelligence key, or whether you call it soul, there is an energy that I believe is who we are, it's within us. It's around us. And it is beyond us. You heard me say in the beginning, all of a sudden, I connected the dots in reverse. I thought I was cracking this code of life on my own, when I was 20. And 30. You know, doing this good by myself, Oh, my goodness, there's just no way. And thank goodness, every day for every listener out there. I know, a door has been open through another human being through another Earth Traveler. I know that there were maybe accidents you could have been in in your car, and you go, thank God, that was, you know, one I didn't encounter. We've never ever travel alone. And so it once you have that understanding, once you understand your thoughts, as Dr. Joe would say, are electrical, your feelings are magnetic. And as they interact with the quantum, you bring those very same experiences back into your body felt experience always trumps it changes everything. When we know that all that is that love is truly working for us, within around us every day, if we stop to pause to tune in, and whatever you call that great mystery of life, that field that matrix God the universe, warriors, you have no idea what you call it. It can remain nameless, in fact, nobody knows is the honest truth. But if you're willing to align with three levels of conductivity, what, who you know yourself to be? It changed who I knew myself to be? I always thought it was a human being before. And holy crap that changes the name of the game if you see yourself as only human. But if you see yourself as infinite and unlimited LIS, and even if that feels crazy big, and I'm not sure I can make that happen. What if you made 10% of your unlimited nature, commitment, come in, from energy into matter? Wow. It changes what you see in the world. Literally what you see in the world will change through the eyes of the soul, and the heart versus the eyes of the 70,000 thoughts. It changes what you know can be possible,

Greg Voisen
then this book is going to help them get there Most definitely. So I'm going to hold this up again. 911 from your soul, definitely. And Jeannine as I want to call it final question to kind of wrap everything up here for our interview. It's been an honor and a pleasure the energies which you emit. And the way in which you articulate this to listeners, I think they truly will resonate with this. But the book is filled with stories, thoughts to ponder and practices to integrate our lives. What actionable practices can the listeners take away from our podcast today that will transform their lives if they were to use them and practice them regularly. Now I noticed you know, we talked about the principles and you said hang it in the closet. I remember that or put it wherever, write it somewhere and stick it everywhere and say is this guiding my, my action right now? You know, but listen, I'll repeat them again because you have love. You have gratitude.

Jeanine Thompson
Love service gratitude. and body, heart, mind and soul. Yeah, so there's nothing in this that doesn't touch all the layers of our body, the connectivity and the energetic matrix, field grid, whatever you want to call it, okay? But a couple of things that I want to invite your listeners to one, either begin or amp up stillness. And I will tell you, if you say, if you sound like I used or you say I can, oh, my God, I mean, I'm pulling up to 300,000 miles an hour and go, go, go, go, go, I simply can't sit still, that is not true. see so much of our stories, we've just come to believe. And then we therefore have made them true. Everyone can create stillness. And I invite you to begin for 30 seconds a day. And if 30 seconds to two minutes, one hand on heart center, one on belly, and close your eyes, and breathe. And as you breathe in, feel that belly expand, and feel it contract, set your alarm clock, 30 seconds, you can do this, and you must stop the story. I can't do it. That's number one. Number two, honor yourself. I'm a beauty of the and girl. So I want everybody to practice stillness, because we need to increase stillness in our life. But we also can get still through an active run through a shower, through painting, singing, dancing, movement, you know that all of them help us soften the busy mind. Nature. I want you to ask yourself today. When you get off this podcast, do yourself a favor. This close your eyes and ask yourself 10 years from now. The highest wise, wisest version of me somehow managed to create a life that I never even could have conceived to be possible. What am I living? What am I experiencing? What am I doing? What am I saying? What am I feeling? Let's start to dream again. So many people have turned really turn down the dream faucet with all of this negativity and density and turn that dream faucet back on and let's start playing in their vibration. Do a simple scan right now is you take a look around whatever environment you're in. How does it feel? What we ingest? Whatever food it is, whatever we speak, whatever we got around us. It all has a vibration. The humans you hang out When do you leave smiling, going? Oh my god, that was so good. Gotta have more of this or just like, oh these are basic things.

Greg Voisen
The psychic vampires.

Jeanine Thompson
Make Joy dates. You see when we choose joy, like actively choose joy, it doesn't require money, something that maybe makes you giggle. Something that for me, it's sunsets, I live on a lake or anything today. It's snowing. I'm happy with that with rain by literally get a joy date on the calendar. And each day. Look for a way to fall in love with life. Turn off that news. What's one way I could fall in love with life today? Well,

Greg Voisen
they can find life by listening to their souls calling. No. And I think if they would, if there was one thing that I would say could be a takeaway, and I'll add to your three would be listen be discerning. Listen to the voice. Really take some time you said be in silence. Usually you can hear that voice the more silence you're in. Right and then you can take action on that. Take some steps do some things just like you did you almost dropped your cocktail glass in Mexico. So it's been a pleasure having you on inside personal growth. Namaste to you. And you know, I thank you for your just your great energy, your vibration, this great book. Now for all of my listeners. You're gonna go to Janine thompson.net. To learn more about her. There you're going to see information about her book or work how you can work with her resources. On making a connection with her, you can connect with her hear what her clients have to say. Truly Janine. You're a light, your love, and your blessing all of my listeners with your message 911 from the soul. Thanks so much.

Jeanine Thompson
Thank you. It's been a great honor and thank you for choosing to walk in the world and be the lighthouse, that you are like you exude love. Talk about a joy date when people spend time with you. Thank you for choosing to, to show up and shine. Just thank you.

Greg Voisen
Thank you so much. Blessings to you.

Jeanine Thompson
Yeah, likewise, babye.

powered by

Joining me for this podcast is award-winning career coach and the author of new book entitled RIGHT FOR YOU: Structure Your Thinking, Make a Decision, and Move Forward with Your Career (and Life), Lindsay Gordon.

Lindsay works with analytically minded senior leaders who have been at their company for over 10 years and are evaluating a possible career change. She has also worked with clients at Google, Mars, Apple, CBS, Wells Fargo, Johnson & Johnson, iRobot, Boeing, and more.

Lindsay does what she does as she believes that her purpose in life is to structure people’s thinking so they can make decisions and move forward to explore, experience, and live life and by this, she could create a huge ripple effect on families, workplaces, and communities when my clients are fully alive and engaged in their life.

With her expertise and after 6+ years of working with incredible clients worldwide, Lindsay has written RIGHT FOR YOU: Structure Your Thinking, Make a Decision, and Move Forward with Your Career (and Life) to share everything she have learned about doing what’s right for you in your career. The book serves as her love letter to anyone who has spent a month, year, or decade waffling about a career decision and wants to feel the freedom of being decided.

If you want to know more about Lindsay and her amazing works, kindly click here to visit her website. Also, Lindsay is kind enough to offer my listeners a 40% discount for her upcoming workshop. So if you want to grab that opportunity, please click this link.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Lindsay Gordon. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

After 6+ years of working with incredible clients worldwide, I’ve written this book to share everything I’ve learned about doing what’s right for you in your career. It’s my love letter to anyone who has spent a month, year, or decade waffling about a career decision and wants to feel the freedom of being decided.

I’m on a mission to help leaders make career decisions you know you’ll be happy with. This book will help you relieve the pressure you feel about your career, rebuild trust in yourself and your decision-making, and experience the freedom of being DECIDED about your next steps.

THE AUTHOR

Lindsay is an award-winning career coach on a mission to help people stop doing what they think is “right” in their career and start doing what’s right for them. Through her work, she assists leaders to make clear and confident decisions so they can move forward in their careers (and lives) with purpose. Lindsay loves baking complicated pastries, barbershop singing, and applying her engineering brain to helping people be DECIDED.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth! My listeners don't need to know anything about me, but they do need to know a little bit about you. Lindsey Gordon is joining us from Las Vegas today. Good morning to you.

Lindsay Gordon
Good morning!

Greg Voisen
Good to see you. And I'm glad that we connected. And we're going to be speaking about her new book, there it is, you can see it behind the screen on her little mantle there to Right For YOU: Structure your Thinking, Make a decision and Move Forward with Your Career (and life). Great book for anybody who's contemplating making a career change, and is having a tough time. And I think particularly she says this is when she says for people who are critical thinkers, probably I think it does fit that audience really well. I am going to be doing a podcast and I'll put a plug in right now with Dave and Helen Edwards about making better decisions. And they came from the programming world as well, the software industry, and that's what Lindsey came from. So I'm going to let him know a little bit about you. She's an award winning career coach and on a mission to help people stop doing what they think is right in their career and start doing what's right for them. Through her work, she assists leaders and making clear and confident decisions so they can move forward in their career and their lives with purpose. Lindsay loves it banking, banking, baking, okay, I didn't know that. I was like that got caught me loves baking, complicated pastries, barbershop singing and applying her engineering brain to help people decide, and you can learn more about her at a life of options.com. There, you also can download a free chapter of the book that she's got available for you can learn about her coaching services as well. We're gonna put a link to Amazon to get the book as well. So Lindsay, it's kind of fascinating. I don't know, I'm into those baking shows.

Lindsay Gordon
Maybe it's the season, it's holiday wars, those kinds of things where these people are making elaborate cakes and all kinds of things.

Greg Voisen
But boy, that takes a lot of engineering.

Lindsay Gordon
That's exactly I think that's why I love baking, because it's so precise. And it's so fiddly, and you have to get it exactly right. So to me, baking is just engineering like food. That's why I love it.

Greg Voisen
It is definitely engineering because you have to draw out what you're going to do. And then you figure out how you're gonna put it together with a team, right, and then they only give you six hours to do it in or four hours or whatever. So now you're rushed. So pretty cool. I can see the similarities there, and what's going on with bakery baking, and so on. But you used to work at Google and a coworker, and I presume your manager wrote in the foreword to your book, stating that you went from a nervous seeker to a confident guide. Tell the listeners a little bit about your path. And how you became passionate about helping people Friant find the right career. And why wasn't Google the right career?

Lindsay Gordon
Yeah, so I have been somebody who has a lot of interests, right. So my baking, my engineering, my career coaching, my singing. And so I think I've always been searching for, where do I actually fit in. And I am on my third career so far. And like every good career transition, I've fallen into all of them. So I started in engineering, and then fell into technical support, then fell into career coaching. And while I was at Google, I kept having this feedback that, number one, you're not the most technical person. So I do have an engineering degree, but I wasn't, you know, top of the technical rank on the team. And number two, I cared so much about the people and the process and the culture. And so they never quite knew where to fit me in. And, you know, I have a lot of gratitude for Google. I met fantastic people. I had fantastic opportunities, but it just never felt like the right thing for me, because I didn't know where I fit. But when you tell people you're unhappy at Google, they look at you and say, But Google's the number one place in the world to work, right and so There was never one of one of many. Yeah, so I was missing this conversation of, is it right for you? Right? And I didn't have any concept of maybe it's that I actually want different things. And Google's not the right place for me. Right. And then there's not any blame there. But it always felt like something is wrong with me because I can't figure out how to fit in. So once I started discovering that for myself, then I wanted to support other people who are in situations where they're asking themselves, why can't I be happy here, everybody else seems to be happy here on paper, this is a great job. But it might just be that it's not right for you. So that got me really fired up to help other people answer that question of what is actually right for you?

Greg Voisen
Well, you probably should have gotten a degree in psychology because you do a lot of that. To your last, yes, that is the space where people are contemplating and thinking, and you're helping people resolve problems, right? Engineering is one. And obviously psychology is another right? There's a lot of careers where you're solving problems. But in particular, when you're solving problems, where the human brain is involved, right, like, Okay, how do we think critically, how do we make this decision, and your book is about making decisions, you state that in your world, there's only one thing that matters to you as your career coach, and that's helping people find what they want? I think many people don't know what they want, they fall into it, you know, sometimes by accident, kind of hanging out for a while. And before they know it, they're there 30 years, right? You know, it isn't hanging out, because they get comfortable with the routine they get comfortable with what's there, doesn't mean they're passionate about it doesn't mean they're on fire about it. But that happens, how do you help people build the framework to navigate finding the career they want to want or building it, as I say, a solopreneur. Because so many people are coming out of these big companies and like you look, you know, you're sitting in the bedroom of your house or spare office, you know, conducting a business, which is not what you did, you know, most of your life you got off got in your car until COVID. And, you know, and you went to an office and you worked with a bunch of people talk about that, because, you know, doing this solo thing can be a bit lonely. I've been doing it for a long time. And there needs to be a community of support around it. So if you would talk about it and talk about how you help people get there.

Lindsay Gordon
Yeah, so I think it applies both in if you're in a job, or if you're doing your own thing. So the first thing I always like to have people do is to take a look at the pressures that they feel around their work. Because there's so much coming at us whether you're in a job, you know, like you should be climbing the ladder, you should be making more money, whatever it is, or in entrepreneurship land, you know, you have to be scaling, you should be making a certain amount, you have to run your business in this particular way. So I think the more we can acknowledge those messages that are coming to us, we can sort through okay, are any of these supporting me? Are they making me feel stressed? What do I actually choose? And a lot of that comes from values. And I love that you brought up the loneliness, of doing your own thing. Because when I started, I knew that if I did not create a community for myself, I would absolutely be lonely, because one of my big values is connection with other humans. And so for me, because I knew my value of connection, I as soon as I started my business, I started creating community for myself of reaching out to people of finding communities. So I think the more we know about ourselves, the more intentional that we can be with our choices again, whether that's in an office or doing things for yourself, to really figure out like how I want to have the career that really works

Greg Voisen
for me? Yeah, and knowing what your values are and your purpose in your mission, mission and vision has always kind of been the traditional path to kind of doing that. But I find sometimes that it's messy. You know, the whole process is messy, because we are human beings, and we make a decision and if we don't like it, we've changed and like you said you were extremely curious. You've been in three different careers and you're still quite young. And that's not unusual these days. But that whole process of Making a shift for a lot of people is messy. It's not like, Okay, I'm deciding today I'm going to go to work for XYZ. And this is the decision that I made because it hardly ever works that way. And if it did, that would be a perfect world. And it's not to say that if we could give everyone in this world a gift it would be to relieve the indecision about their career, and to completely remove the pain and waffling. I live under Line waffling that it creates for people. How do you take people from the indecision to making the decision that will change their lives, I find that this is a next commentary, and then I'll shut up. It's easier to make a decision about an inanimate kind of object and say, Okay, I'm going to shut down that app, because they've been taking $15 month, so I'm going to click the button. That kind of decision is pretty easy. It's just inaction, you just do it. But when it comes to our self, like, wow, a big thing, which is our career, it sometimes takes months, day and mean months and years to make the decision, because the pain has to be great enough. I remember, not that long ago, I had a social biologist on here. And I keep referring back to her because her comment was just phenomenal. And she wrote a book called on the verge. And another one, the watchman's rattle. And she said to me, she said, you know, when it comes to this, we can have all the analytics, all the data we want, we can process it into here, but the way that our brains work, and for 1000s of years as a species, we kind of wait to the last minute to make a decision. And she said, it's just the way we're kind of Hartwell. So when you're talking about global warming, we have all these statistics from all over the place. And yet, how come not much is being done or not enough is being done? And she said, that is mainly the reason we have shifted somewhat, she said, but we haven't shifted enough.

Yeah, yeah.

Lindsay Gordon
I think that does happen in our careers. And what's interesting to me, because I have slightly a different kind of analogy of that. But I think it happens the same way. So I often tell people to try to get as close to the edge of the cliff as they can of like quitting their job. Before they start any what if scenarios, right? Usually were like, well, what if I applied to something? And then what if I get it? And then what if I have to make a decision, and you're like this is so far in the future, like none of these things are happening right now. So see if you can get yourself to that moment, right to that moment, where you have a new opportunity to that moment where you are choosing management or not management or to take that promotion. And if you are on the cusp of that decision, you are probably going to get way more sensations in your body as you like peer over the edge of the cliff of like, oh, I definitely don't want that thing. Or oh, I actually feel really excited about that. So it is kind of the leaving it to the last minute.

Greg Voisen
Yeah. Yeah, you know, I just finished how Ben co write a book called Life on the precipice. And you're saying let it get to the edge. And in the process, I got to interview 22 mountain climbers. And these are people that have been up Everest 117 times they've been, you know, this is what they do. And you know, it's interesting what many of them said, not all of them. But they said, if you're not living on the edge, you're not living life. So you know, you are asking people to push to the edge because your perspective changes when you're there. And I think like them every step they take, it's a life or death decision. But for us at work in careers, it's not luckily it's not. Luckily, it's not. You know, and this is what happens when it's not. You talk about good enough job. And that sometimes people will settle for less, and they'll take the promotion, with more money and more benefits over happiness. Hey, that happens all the time has happened. You know, what would you tell our listeners who have found themselves in the good enough job, but are fearful of leaving the job? Because of the pay and the benefits?

Lindsay Gordon
Yeah, I think this is so prevalent today. So many people come to me and say If I have followed the standard definitions of success, I have gotten the money, I have climbed the ladder, I have the awesome benefits. And I feel empty about that. And so I think it's so important to have this conversation around what actually works for you in this area. Because it's not as straightforward. As you know, money and benefits are not what you should be going after, it's all about the individual. Because for some people, money and benefits is going to be exactly what they need. And as long as you know, like, I am choosing this because I have to support my aging parents, or I am taking care of my family, I think there's a reality there that we should always think about. And you want to choose that with intention. So I had a client pretty early on who was a lawyer, and she was making great money. But she just wasn't using all of her, you know, excitement and passion and brain. And people around her were saying, you should really go get another job because you should be, you know, fully fulfilled by your work, and you should be more challenged than you are. And as soon as we went through the values exercise with her, she said, You know what, right now, stability and taking care of my family is my number one value. And so she was able to choose with incredible intention, with incredible confidence, I am going to stay in this good enough job, because it's fulfilling my number one value. So I think it's really powerful to know which of those is working for you. But if you are following that external definition of success, and the money, and the benefits, and the promotions is not working for you, then you are never going to feel fulfillment, if you keep following that I had some other another client who said, I just got promoted for work that I don't feel is aligned with my strengths, like he was doing a good job. But the more and more he got promoted, and the higher and higher pay he got, the worse he felt, because it was so far away from what he actually wanted to be doing. So it's interesting that like the promotion, the more money can actually feel like, excuse me a trap sometimes.

Greg Voisen
You know, you work in a world with people. And I remember this statement so aptly, you know, the Buddha said, there's suffering in the end to suffering. And you work in a world where it's a such a mental state. And I've asked some of the most successful people in the world, are you content? And many of them will say, No, they have master's degrees and doctorate degrees, they've written two or three or four or five books, they have three or four companies, and you say out of your content. And it's like no. And, you know, it's interesting, because the whole conundrum about change has to be changing, not just to change, but to change to meet a values, you know, formula, right? And I don't like using the word formula, but to me match our values with what it is that we're doing. And it is challenging at times, because those values while you would think they wouldn't change or someone's purpose wouldn't change. I think it's a moving target. I think purpose is redefined. I think values are redefined. You change in air, you change and age that all change. So let's talk about something that kind of mitigates this going for what we want, and you call it career pressure. You mentioned that there's one thing that you hate most about, and that is that you cannot win, not you but you mentioned in the book, you cannot win. Yeah, so winning. You know, in this Western culture, we have

basically,

Greg Voisen
brainwashed people about climbing a success ladder. That's like, yep, shear, he has to go here, here. Parents have always said get your degree because you got to go here, here, here, where you've got to be educated or whatever. And I get the sense now that there's kind of an eroding around it because people aren't listening to that as much as you state that pressure never goes away. What is the antidote for career pressure? Because that is the ultimate career pressure, man. have a dad said, Lindsay, get out of school, get a job. And you're gonna go get married, go have kids live the nine to five and whatever live in the suburbs right. Now that is just not for everybody, although it is for

Lindsay Gordon
some. Yeah, absolutely. And I always want people to remember that when they are getting that type of advice from friends or family, they are doing it because they want the best for you. So we don't need to make the friends or the family or the parents wrong. As you say, it's not right for everybody. And the pressure is just so sneaky, because either you're a Job Hopper, or you're a lifer, right, you can't win on that spectrum. Either you're too young and inexperienced, or you're too old and out of touch, you can't win on that spectrum. So I just don't want people to say like, there will be a moment where I don't have any job pressure, right. And I will finally just be able to listen to myself, I had a client who's 68. And his pressure was his friends and family were saying, you know, it's really just time for retirement, like, can't you just slow down, you don't need to work anymore, like enjoy life. And for him, he was like, that's not what I want. I have another phase in me, I am excited to contribute, I still feel incredibly energized about being in the workplace. So that's what I mean about the pressure never goes away, it just has a different message for you at different phases of your life. And so I for me, I think the best antidote to pressure is number one, being able to acknowledge it. So just being able to see, okay, the world is telling me that I should want this. But the more important part is the knowing what you want, getting to come back to those values, getting to come back to your particular strengths, and the contribution that you want to make. And I agree with you that it shifts over time. And I think if I could give a message to everyone, whether in a job doing their own thing, to give yourself grace to change your mind. So just because you're making a choice right now to do the particular thing that you're doing, doesn't mean that that's always going to be the right thing for you that you're always going to be locked in. So if we can have some grace, around shifting values around shifting vision, I think that would also make for a kinder experience with this career pressure.

Greg Voisen
So true. You know, you talked about that 68 year old guy, that's me. And that's why I did that session with Connie, a steel that we were talking about earlier. And you know, it's like, yeah, people are saying, Well, why don't you could just stop right now, I don't want to, that's not what I want to do. I'm not a person that goes out on the golf course, every day and or plays bridge or any of that kind of stuff. That's just not who I am. So I get that I get that, you know, careers have phases, life has phases, you need to understand those. And for my listeners, you know, what Lindsay does is help you look at that phase and help you put the pieces together so that you can you know, create the, the matrix that you want, right? So in your chapter on quit or don't quit, you state that you're tired of the negative connotation of risk adverse, and that you propose a rebrand. What's the rebrand? And how does this help a prospective client deal with all of their indecision and possible feel fear that they're dealing with? Yeah, yeah.

Lindsay Gordon
So I call myself a career coach for analytically minded people, because of this engineering degree. And so I find that so many people who show up on my doorstep are risk averse in that kind of, you know, analysis, paralysis way wanting to make the really great decision. And they come to me and they're like, I'm so risk averse. You know, I wish I was more adventurous. I wish I could just, you know, make a big leap and not worry about it. And to me, I'm like, what? Why would we want to make huge leaps? Without knowing if this is the right thing for you? Why would we want to make changes that are potentially going to put your financial stability at risk? I'm like, this is this is not what we want. So for me, I like to honor people's risk averseness because I think it actually points to values. So when somebody says, you know, well, I really don't want to make a move because I have great pay and benefits here. Okay, let's actually learn more about that right? What is important to you about those paying benefits? Is it that you're supporting your family? Is it that stability is your number one value? So I think if we can kind of bring the risk averseness with us, and really learn from that of what is it pointing to as far as values, then number one, we don't have to beat ourselves up. So we're taking away that. And then too, I think it gives us more of a kind of NorthStar to be designing what we intentionally want.

Greg Voisen
You know, look, the whole risk averse thing and a job. It's very similar to being risk tolerant with your finances. Yeah, yeah. So you know, people say, Well, you know, I've got $100, I want to invest it. But now I want to put 30% at risk, right? 70%? It's, it's kind of easier with money, because you can delegate percentages. Yeah, you can say, Okay, I'm gonna just take this percentage and put it out here more at risk. Yeah. And so that that is a way to look at this risk, avert averseness. And part two of your book is really the like, that's where people get to dig in, make a decision, you speak about the framework from Freedom designed to help the readers make better decisions. Can you speak with us about the framework and how it helps individuals make good decisions? And there's basically four questions. What do you value? What dimension of work are most important for your fulfillment? What strengths do you want to continue to contribute? And what conditions allow you to thrive? So that's the environment?

Lindsay Gordon
Yes. So this is where my engineering brain gets so excited, because it's like, alright, it's framework time. And basically, what I help clients do is build this very tailored framework that serves as a cheat sheet. So if you have this one page, have all of these attributes, and I'll go into a little bit more depth in just a moment. But if you have this page with all of these attributes, you can then use it as a cheat sheet or compare it to any opportunity that comes your way. So if you are asking yourself, Do I want a management? Do I want to go on the on the management track? If you're asking yourself, do I want this promotion? If you're asking yourself, do I want to quit this job? Or do I want to go out and start my own business? You can check against these four attributes. Okay? How does this opportunity stack up against my values? How does this opportunity stack up against my strengths? And you can make a very structured decision and acknowledge any tradeoffs. So okay, I see this opportunity does hit most of my values, I think this one won't be honored. But I am intentionally choosing that knowing that trade off. So that's kind of how we use this framework is an awesome cheat sheet. So the four aspects, number one is values. And the way that I do values is kind of a data driven approach to how have you lived your life so far? So I take you through an exercise of what are the decisions that you've made in your life so far? And what are the motivations behind each of those, so we can discover your values from those actions throughout your life? Then we move into understanding your fulfillment, because somebody can ask you like, you know, how do you like work? And that's just a big overwhelming question. We don't know how to define it. So here, we define it in eight different categories, from career development, to results to relationships. So really looking at what are the most important axes for you, then we look at strengths. And really, what do you want to bring what's unique about you, what gives you energy when you work on how do we align work with that? And then finally, it is about the environment? And how do you create the conditions for you to thrive. And in this section, you get to go through a really cathartic exercise of looking back at all of your past jobs and thinking through what was out of alignment about that environment and then we're able to flip it and make you a list of this is what I know I need in order to thrive. So then put that all together and make these decisions with confidence knowing what's right for you.

Greg Voisen
Well, and I think it's important for me to mention and I don't think I've done this yet, but you know, Marcus Buckingham and strength coaching your certified strength coach, that kind of sounded like, right out of the manual from strength coaching. So that's, that's good. And I think that people need to know that because it's and like, a lot of this is lenses, but a lot of this is stuff that she's kind of picked up through the strength coaching thing with Gallup. You know, and I've had, I've never had Marcus on the show, but I've had Tom Rath. Oh, miracle. Yeah, who's been on the show many times actually just sent me an email yesterday. So you know, all of the development work that you did, and everything you just spoke of is so important for people to work on. And you help guide them through it, right. So that the book is filled with great practices, great advice, guidance on helping someone make a career transition. What three things today? Who forever’s listening? Would you like to emphasize and that can be used immediately to help someone going through a career evaluation process? Like just what you just said, it's like, Okay, is there a cheat sheet at your website that they could download, we know, they can go there and get one chapter of the book. And you can leave information you can reach out to Lindsay, she does one on one coaching. So, you know, we will put the link to the website. But what are the three things Lindsey, you'd want to leave our listeners with?

Lindsay Gordon
Number one, I think getting clear on the pressure is really important. So if you can even just take a moment and write down what are the voices in your head telling you that you should want to do about your career. And even if we can acknowledge those that will hopefully help you see what's living rent free in your head and not actually supporting your choices. So write down that list of the pressures that are running around. Number two, I think get clear about whether a good enough job is right for you. And this concept comes from the book refuse to choose written by Barbara Sher, so you can look up her definition of that good enough job. It's important to know, are you somebody where your passion and purpose and meaning and drive is going to show up at work? If so, awesome. Let's make choices in line with that. Or are you someone where your passion and meaning and purpose and drive is going to come outside of work? And if so, awesome, let's go that direction, because that split can be a very powerful distinction for somebody to make and can create a lot of relief. So that's my number two. And then three, is, as you learn these things, start to have conversations with people. So the more that you know about what you want, the more you can communicate that to others. So let's say you get clear about wanting your passionate purpose and meaning to come from work. How can you have a conversation with your manager that conveys that and that talks a little bit about more what you want to do at work, so that you can get into those situations. So learn for yourself, and then start to have conversations to create more opportunities to do what's right for you.

Greg Voisen
And I think, really, Lindsay, what you do is probably more than anything, you help people make comfortable decisions. I think sometimes we make decisions and uncomfortable spots. And sometimes they're the wrong decisions because we haven't taken a breath. First, we react instead of Act. No, it's a reaction. And it's so important to evaluate what's behind the decision, so that you feel good about the decision. You know, I don't remember the woman's name, but I'm gonna probably go back and look for the podcast. She taught at Harvard. And she wrote a book and she was blind. And she said, you know, they did this test. And she was involved with all these studies, about decisions you make at the grocery store, because there's five kinds of peanut butter or there's a kinds of this or whatever. And what she said that I mean, I kind of get to the bottom line is that grocery stores sold more product when they had less decision for people to make. Yeah, so in other words, if there was three versus five peanut butters, even though maybe you wanted to carry all those, I know this kind of sounds like a convoluted like story, but no, there's a purpose to what I'm saying. You know, look at if you have all these options, and yours is a life of options. What we find is you'll be able to make a decision better, faster, quicker. If you Have less options to look at. Yep. Right. So, in She said her being blind, going into a grocery store, it was really quite an interesting kind of study. It was like, Well, how many she would ask somebody? How many are there like seven? And then she got into this well, why are there so many to choose from there only needs to be to peanut butters.

Greg Voisen
And how people make decisions. So she built her life around figuring out how people making decisions as a blind not just as a blind person, but just how we make decisions, right? Yeah, think about it is it's wild, you know, do you want almond butter? Or do you want Jiffy with creamy? Or do you want Jeffie with the peanuts? Or that one? And your career decision is kind of the same thing. Really. All I'm saying here is distill it down. There might be seven options. But really, it's going to be best if you kind of and what they found out is they found it's best if there's three.

Lindsay Gordon
Interesting, interesting three. Yeah,

Greg Voisen
after all these studies, they said they make people make decisions so much quicker when there's three. So like, if you go out to buy a car, and you go, Oh, my gosh, this one, there's this one. There's no, there's only three. Really? How did you distill it down to three? Right? So yeah, and I will hook you up with her. Awesome, we really like her a

Lindsay Gordon
lot. I would be fantastic. Well, I feel like people come to me, and they're like, I can do absolutely anything. You know, everything sounds great. And I'm like, actually, that's not true. Right? That's the experience that you have. The one of the analogies that I like to use sometimes it's like, if you go to a buffet, and you're like, oh my gosh, there's so much food, like I could eat absolutely anything. And then you're like, wait a minute, no, like, I am gluten free. I hate mushrooms. And you know, I have an aversion my stomach doesn't like, you know, tomatoes, and then you're like, oh, okay, so I can say no to that. No to that note of that note of that note of that. And now I just have you know, the smaller number of options. So that's hopefully what my framework is up to is like saying no to the things that are not a good fit, because it will make it easier in the end to make those choices that actually feel good. So like, alright, narrowed down to three,

Greg Voisen
down to three. And if you are a food critic like, I like this guy feeding Phil Rosenthal, oh, yeah, he's goofy. I don't know how he eats all her different varieties. I would have such an upset stomach, I wouldn't. There's no. But again, about your life of options. Go get this book, we'll put a link up to Amazon life of options.com Go there. You can learn more. There's a resources. There's about the book, work with me figure out how you can work with Lindsey. If you're in that position right now and you're listening. Definitely reach out to Lindsey, Lindsey. Namaste to you. Thanks for being on Inside Personal Growth.

Lindsay Gordon
And thank you so much.

Greg Voisen
Take care.

powered by

My guests for this podcast are husband and wife and the authors of the new book entitled Make Better Decisions: How to Improve Your Decision-Making in the Digital Age, Helen and Dave Edwards.

Helen and Dave Edwards are also the founders of Sonder Studio, a company focused on helping humans succeed in the digital age. As a husband-and-wife team, they have worked together since 2009, saying they wouldn’t have it any other way. Yet, they also excel in their individual paths.

Helen is described as being able to “link the unlinkable,” and having a knack for spotting the signal in the noise. She advises senior leaders on how to use technology to hone their decision-making skills and leverage their intuitive strengths using data. On the other hand, Edward used to work at Apple as Head of Software Application Marketing and he also advises leaders and founders on how to use design and technology to build better businesses.

Aside from their business ventures, Helen and Dave came up with a book which was just released last September 29 entitled Make Better Decisions: How to Improve Your Decision-Making in the Digital Age. All decisions contain an implicit prediction about the future which seems increasingly unpredictable, even chaotic. Data is supposed to help but it doesn’t if it’s too complex for humans to find meaningful. Hence, this book is an essential guide to practicing the cognitive skills needed for making better decisions in the age of data, algorithms, and AI.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Helen and Dave and their amazing works, you may click here to visit their company website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Helen and Dave Edwards. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

Make Better Decisions contains 50 nudges that have their lineage in scholarship from behavioral economics, cognitive science, computer science, decision science, design, neuroscience, philosophy, and psychology. Each nudge prompts the reader to use their beautiful, big human brain to notice when our automatic decision-making systems will lead us astray in our complex, modern world, and when they’ll lead us in the right direction.

THE AUTHORS

Helen and Dave Edwards are serial entrepreneurs. In 2017, they sold their artificial intelligence market research firm, Intelligentsia, to Atlantic Media, continuing their work at Atlantic Media’s subsidiary Quartz. As a husband-and-wife team, they have worked together since 2009, saying they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Respectively, Helen has been an entrepreneur, venture capitalist, technology executive, writer, editor, market researcher, engineer, and product manager. Over the course of my career, I’ve managed manufacturing operations with revenue of more than $1B, purchased more than $1.5B of technology-enabled products, founded or invested in more than a dozen startups, and managed businesses in over a dozen countries. Meanwhile, Dave is an experienced entrepreneur, executive, investor, and advisor. He has facilitated digital transformation companies of all sizes and in many industries through workshops, speaking, and strategic design.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And joining us from Bend, Oregon are Helen Edwards, obviously on the left and on the right Dave Edwards, and they have a new book out that I'm gonna hold up, you guys called Make Better Decisions. Look, he's holding it up to How to Improve your Decision Making in the Digital Age. I think it's really how to improve our decision making and our critical thinking skills as well, because I'm not certain for many people if those haven't gone in the toilet, because they're using the digital age to help them make decisions. And I don't always think that's the best thing to do. So and you outline this in the book, not that you said, that's the worst thing to do. But the reality is, is that we're going to be speaking with them about that today. And I want to let our listeners know something about both of you, Helen and Dave, are serial entrepreneurs, they own Saunders studios company focused on helping humans succeed in the digital age and is their fifth company and in to some 1017 They sold their artificial intelligence market firm. And Kelly Janessa. Is that correct? intelligencia. Yes, and Atlantic media, and continued their work at Atlantic media subsidiary courts. As you can tell, they're a husband and wife team, they have the same last name. And they've worked together since 2009. Saying that they wouldn't have it any other way. Well, I'm glad as a couple you guys get along, and you can work together, my wife tried working with me, but that didn't work out. So Stenner, she's got her own thing. But again, we'll have a LinkedIn, Amazon to the book, we'll also have a link to their website, and it's getsonder, s-o-n-d-e-r, just get sauntered up calm. There, you can learn more about their training programs, you can learn more about them, you can learn more about this book, you can see what it is that they do. So with that being said, you know, you both speak about why you wrote the book. And that's always a great place to start. I always say, hey, why do people write books anyway? Right? Please tell our listeners about the aha moments you had when working with one of your clients, and how that guided you to kind of write and make the right this book and put it out?

Helen Edwards
Well, thanks. We'd love a hot moment, you know, that moment of where the non-obvious becomes obvious. And I think when it came to decision making, which we'd thought and talked about a lot, because, you know, I'm a fan of Danny Kahneman and all of his work on decision making. The one of the things I noticed in our clients is there were a few people that would do things like print off a list of cognitive biases and pop them on the wall next to their desk, as though knowledge of the fact that we have these biases in our thinking was enough to become the sort of perfect rational decision maker. And I became really intrigued about why people thought that they could just sort of print these things off and have them there, and then they make better decisions. And I started to think, well, maybe there's a better way of doing it. And I think the real aha moment, was combining that with the way that in the modern workplace, people use expected to sort of get insights from data without necessarily having to sit down and really think about it, that the data will just give them an answer. And their aha moment was like, well, none of that is going to work, you actually have to improve your own decision making, and that it's more like meditation. Practice is more like sport, you go out and you, you spend time actually practicing things. And then over time you get better. That's not something that you can go to a checklist for. And so that's why we wrote the book has to, because we started using the 50 nudges ourselves, and they actually work. So over the course of a year or so with our clients and with us, we saw that it worked. People were making better decisions as they got to practice certain techniques.

Greg Voisen
Well, you know, you talk about decision making, and I don't know if I said this to you before, but I interviewed a Harvard professor and she's blind. And she wrote a book and I can't remember the name of the book, you guys might. I needed to look back into the archives. And it was about you know, she studied in grocery store bars, you know, if there were six peanut butters, right? And a man or woman went down the aisle six was too many. Right? It was like, it stopped your ability to make a decision about the creamy peanut butter, this peanut butter that peanut butter, but they found the optimum number. After all of this research, obviously her being it, I think it was either Harvard or MIT. It was like, three. So the less the less options, the quicker we could make some decisions, right. And it's kind of the same in business, you guys have probably heard this, you run workshops. You know, I remember this from Larry Wilson, Wilson learning. And it was so imperative. You know, the little lights would go on, you play a game between two teams, and you try to get across and it was like Whack a Mole. The key was not to look at all the dots and say, oh, well, that's the one that went on. And we need to take this path to get the other side to turn the light off. So we when he was really to step on the landmines as quickly as possible, because that's how you found out what didn't work. Right? Those decision making processes, but many people were frozen, because they see the lights and they just didn't freeze. Right? So I think that's a that's a tough place to be in. Dave, can you speak with us about how big data and small data leads us to making decisions and how our intuitions are data driven, as well as the influence that this has both good, and not so good on making decisions, including the ever complex and changing world in which we're living? Because it's, you know, this is ever dynamic. It's always moving. Right? You go to make a decision, something changes, people today, certainly out there listening, this can get that, you know, it's like, look at our economy, they just raised the rates, point seven 5%, right, you're gonna make a decision? Are you going to sell a stock? Are you gonna buy a stock? What are you making it? What are you basing it on? And I think people are a bit frozen right now. They're like, deer in headlights, because there is so much going on externally. And uncertainty. So I want you to comment about the uncertainty too. Sure.

Dave Edwards
I think there's a lot of things that people get trapped, conflating, you know, we talk about things like the idea that you have to separate rational decisions from emotional decisions, or in the context of your question, you have to separate data from intuition. When actually everything is data, if you think about it, our intuitions are informed by all of our own into the individual experiences, which essentially, is the data that we have lived the data that exists in the world, whether it's small data about an individual transaction, through to big data about everything a company knows about all of their all of their employees and all of their customers. Those are the some of the individual experiences of humans. And it gets sort of you get sort of stuck in this idea that just be that data must have the answer, right? It there's so much of it. And we've invested so much money in creating these huge data platforms. So the data, the answer must just be there, right? But it actually isn't, because in the end data is just data. And we requires humans to make sense of that, to make humans to provide context to understand what that data actually means to us to an individual or in aggregate to a society, and then figure out how to tell a story with that data that motivates other people to act. And so you get lost in this idea that we just have to look at a chart or a graph, and therefore there's a decision and you get frozen when you look at it, and you're not sure what to do with it. Because you're not allowing for the fact that you actually have to be a human and actually look at it and interpret it and make some make some decisions out of it. So we include a bunch of nudges in the book about how to think about how to use data and how to, how to think about it how to do things like look at what the literal understanding of the humans are in the data. It's one of my favorites. It comes from our friend, Jevon West, who's a professor at University of Washington, and looking at data to understand that there are actually humans in that data. So who are they? Let's think about that. Because when you think about who those humans are, that'll probably help you understand what to do with it. Or looking at data and understanding with the finding the gaps in the data, who isn't in the data. What experiences are not in the data, when you were telling your story about the Harvard or MIT prof walking through the store and she was blind. That's a That's a classic example of the kind of people who can frequently be forgotten and left out of data. We think about the people who walk cited through a store and frequently that you know, you can you can easily have data that is not including those people who are not sighted who can't see the peanut butter, and so you're not sure what to do with those decisions. And so we what we try to do is actually resolve that sort of human question and that human paralysis by thinking that data is superior in some way. And that helps us bring some of that sort of that fear and the paralysis and that complexity back to something that we can actually get our hands around.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, so, so true. You know, I know, in your world, the digital world, you know, they say, radical curiosity is really important. You speak about curiosity in the book, obviously. And if you look at any, and I wrote a book on intuition, the reality is, is that, you know, you look at quotes on the internet from Steve Jobs. And he says one of the most important things he used was his intuition. Right? Trying, he was radically curious. But he also used his intuition Bill Gates, the same thing has plenty of quotes out on the internet on intuition. And I think that people have a tendency to not realize that all these data set points that we've gathered over our life, to put the dots together, as Rita McGrath would say, right, can you see around corners? Can you see what's coming? Is the train going to hit you head on right? To be able to make better decisions? And then at times as humans, many times, we can see irrational behaviors, lots of irrational behaviors. And then speaking about that, Helen, you're less 10 of the biggest decision making errors in data driven world? Could you share with the listeners, these 10 biggest decision making errors and what we can do to avoid them also address the fact that all decisions are emotional? As you guys say, you know, even if you think, Okay, I'm gonna let the AI do the work for me. Right. Okay. Yeah. And that's probably the best example of that is the stock market, you know, these traders have these machines that gather all this data, and then it triggers certain points, and they do that. But I would say much of what happens in the market is emotional driven by the data that's coming in on a daily basis. It's how somebody feels, right? That, that they're making the decision. So what are those 10?

Helen Edwards
Well, it was, I'll just go back before our answer the 10, I'm just gonna get back to the peanut butter example. And you said that, that this, you're given six or nine, or whatever the original study was quite a quite a few. And that three was this magic number. And there's no accident in that. And it's something that we talk about a lot in our workshops, as humans thinking 123 Lots and lots and lots, you know, we can hold 123. And now mind really easily those three dimensions. And then we get to lots and lots and lots. So we have 10 main reasons that we, you know, 10 biggest decision making errors. But if I say all 10, you probably only listened to the first three. So the things that were the ones that I think are the kind of the

Greg Voisen
most give you what the other seven, yeah.

Dave Edwards
For those of you who weren't distracted by the idea of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you're hungry. Yeah.

Helen Edwards
This, so the very first one is overusing intuition. Now, I'm going to declare my bias as I'm a I'm a big intuitive decision maker doesn't mean I can't use data doesn't mean I don't want to use data. But it means that I want my data to be intuitive to me. So it takes me time to really sit down and sort of understand what the data says. And that's and to me, I would never make a decision off the basis of quick look at the data, I think there's a terrible way to make a decision, I need to actually understand the meaning and the data. But overusing intuition is a very bad decision making error. And the reason we do it is because that's kind of how we evolved. It's very energy efficient, and humans in all of life evolves to be incredibly energy efficient, and humans are unbelievably energy efficient, you know, 20 Watts to run our brains, it's just sort of nothing. And so overusing intuition is kind of almost a natural way of making decisions. It's very fast. It's very efficient. And it's usually good enough as I think Danny Kahneman is quote. But it does depend on fast, accurate feedback and being in the right context, not getting out over your skis, you've got to be in an applicable environment. That's increasingly less possible and more dangerous in a data driven world. Because we don't have an intuition for what's in these fast data sets. It's especially when the data is collected beyond our, our, our conscious awareness, so eye tracking and mouse clicks and things like that there are proxies for behavior and proxies for emotion. So overusing intuition in the algorithmic ages is problematic, that overconfidence is an enormous problem. It's it has been called the mother of all biases, and persists specifically over precision, which is an excessive sense that we know the answer that we're right. And that we know the truth. And when we're over, when we're when we overuse intuition, we can overcome over precisions made even worse, because we get this fluency in our decision making, you know, that feeling of, of just having this fluency, and I'm right, I need to do this, you do that. And you get the sense of certainty. And the sense of just making good judgments. And that itself feels good. There's an emotional signal that is called judgment completion. And it makes us feel good, and which makes it feel right. But just because it feels good, doesn't mean it's right, that causes us to jump to conclusions. And we do that all the time. Kahneman says humans are machines for jumping to conclusions. And so we become very conscious of a better decision making can become just even in an awareness of when you're jumping to a conclusion. And I think that the other big sort of category is, is that we don't recognize inherent emotion, and we don't, and we try, and we try and either overrule our emotions and an unsatisfactory way that we pretend they're not there. Or we pretend that things are going to be different in the future. There's a lot of deep scholarship around how difficult it is to forecast our emotions into the future. But they do suffer from predictable biases. So we, we can know, we can anticipate things better if we have some, what we might call cognitive crashes from simulations about the future, and AI has got a lot to give us in that artificial intelligence can really help us do that. But this idea that decisions, ask that thinking is separate from feeling is something that the economists gave us, because they're shaped the baseline measure of human decision making. And that, that modern neuroscience is really calling that into question. And we see it all the time, we see that people make decisions emotionally, all the time. I think Antonio Damasio, has said many times, feelings come first. They that is that being able to understand and engage your emotions, and your intuition can guide you to the right place in the problem space, so that logical reasoning can then take over. So that's sort of how we think about that broad category of decision making, how do you become more aware of overusing your intuition? And your confidence? And how do you calibrate that correctly for the situation you're in? And how do you use your emotions in the in the right kind of way? How do you get to that sweet spot, and your emotional and how you actually feel? And how do you engage that slower, more logical reasoning when you need to, particularly when faced with ambiguous data, when people don't, when you don't know what the data says, you're going to revert to intuition straightaway. And we see that all the time, we give people problems that are designed to be ambiguous. And the very first thing they do is, say what they've got feelings every single time. And so the nudges are really designed to sort of have multiple ways to attack this problem of, of how do you kind of, I don't know, deal with the Rubik's Cube, if you like, of decision making?

Greg Voisen
Yeah, it's interesting how you put that in. And again, for my listeners, there's 10 of them. So get the book so that you can get the other seven. The other thing you know, there used to be this saying and business, I'm not going to say personal because look, when you're dating somebody, whether you're a man or a woman, and you're trying to make a decision, are you gonna marry that person? That's very emotional. Right? It's predicated on how you're feeling and how you're how you're acting. But there used to be a statement and I'm sure the two of you have heard this. The only raw decision is no decision. Right? And so in other words, if you just keep hanging out. I've questioned that myself as to whether or not that statement is even valid today. But you will still hear that in business. Because sometimes, that to me, it seems like no decision was what you chose to do. Right? It was whatever gut feeling you had. So you said, hey, I'm not going to make that decision right now, I'm not going down that path. And I think that's the part I talk about kind of with freezing. Because we're in a programming world. You know, you've guys have to like build software that says, if it does this, then this if it does this, then this this, because you're constantly having it make decisions until it finally, it finally gives you what you want. But Dave, in your chapter on make good decisions, you state that decision making takes practice. And that's what you guys just said earlier, because many of the techniques that work best, especially the data require overriding natural and often pleasurable cognitive processes. But Helen was speaking about, you have 50 decision nudges that you reference, what are some of them? And how will they help us in making better decisions? There's a lot. Yes,

Dave Edwards
there are, there are there are 50. So I clearly won't be able to list them all. And have you all remember that

Helen Edwards
they are organized into five categories

Dave Edwards
organized into five categories, where we talk about decision, creativity and flexibility, reasoning, decision tactics, and decision self-awareness. And there's 10 nudges and each of those, but I liked certainly your setup question around thinking about no decision. The only bad decision is no decision, right? That that sort of idea. And part of that's based on this concept that you feel better when you've made the decision. You feel better when you you're confident that you've done something, it feels good to use your intuition. Because you feel like you're right. And we have this hero worship in our society of the people who have succeeded are deciders and they make good decisions. And they're, you know, that sort of top down kind of thing. And, and especially in the world, which now is sort of dominated by this founder led tech companies, those people get lionized as the people who are constantly making decisions. And so we got to make a decision don't say Don't, don't not make a decision. Some of that is what we get out when your question around, how do we override those natural, you know, and often pleasurable cognitive processes, right? So we, one of the core nudges, I think would be to delay intuition. This is inspired by Danny Kahneman. Now just take a moment to say that all of our nudges are inspired by people who are great thinkers, we call them the great minds. And so each of these has a routing in an academic field or practitioner who were really inspired by. And so that when we refer reference those, that's where they come in. And when you read through each of the nudges at the bottom, it says who they're inspired by, and we have great references to go dig deeper into any of these topics. But Danny Kahneman talks about intuition and the power and how good it feels to form that intuition. And the most important thing, and in some ways, the most challenging thing is to delay your intuition. One of the techniques we talk about we use in our workshops is to work people through to understand what your intuition is, and then to research things that are the anti-intuition to work against your intuition, and then to research reasons that supports your intuition. And then then go back and real and think about what decision you want to make. So are you able to actually delay settling in and bonding with that intuitive response? To try and push against yourself a little bit, what it does is it helps you not jump to the conclusion, right? And have that pleasurable experience. But it also helps you inform your intuition. If you can actually practice updating your intuition. Another nudge we talked about as to using, we talked about updating your intuition and keeping an intuition journal where you're learning where your intuition is really strong and where you might want to improve. But delaying helps you work through that. Another key knowledge that I bring up is calibrating confidence. We talked about what

Greg Voisen
what would you say about, you know, when I did research for my book on intuition and talked to programmers all over and professors and people that taught programming, I found a lot of them denied the outside themselves, let's just say that the spiritual element of intuition is like, well, I've had all these experiences, and I took all these spirits and put the dots together. Well, there's always that final step where you didn't have all the dots. And an aha moment occurred just like we said earlier, for you to be able to kind of pull all those pieces together, right and I found it interesting. How many people would they didn't want to go down that path. They didn't want to talk about the fact that there might be something beyond them that sparked them. You know, I do a show and it includes spirituality. So signs and symbols is another one that we've talked to many people about, they get signs and symbols, and they act on it, right? They really do. They're like, hey, I got a, I saw a bird fly across. And that to me meant something and I was gonna go that that's it to me, I'm gonna go take this action, the sign or symbol? Where do you guys land in on that space? It sounds I know, a little weird. But it's really not. But I'd love to hear where you guys are on that. Oh, we talk about

Helen Edwards
lots of things that you'd think are really weird. It's just kind of weird, right? We talk about lots of stuff like that. Now, there's a couple of different ways to sort of approach the answering that question. First of all, I think the big overarching part of this is that understanding how our causal reasoning does defined the lot of the way that we process information from the world. And when we look for reasons, we are, we are causal reasons, which means that we tend to see causes for any effect, and we're motivated to see causes for any effect. So whether it's whether it's someone has a feeling about something, or has a mental model that's come from their spirituality, no matter what it is, or whether they're thinking in an a pattern recognition kind of way, one of the top nudges that we advocate is alternative causes. And whatever you're thinking about whatever you think the reason might be, because we, when we reason forward into the future, from causes to effects, we were prone to a particular error, which is to not see alternative causes. So we want to have, we want to sit at the effect, look back at the causes, and think about multiple alternative causes. And so I think that that's the a powerful tool that's very inclusive, because what it does is it we all have so many different associations in our brains, right? We're completely unique individuals. So whenever we if we can agree on an effect, and we can discuss what that effect is. And then we can, we can respect that all of us have different causal associations, and different patterns in our own minds, different life experiences, about what that possible, what those possible causes can be, we end up with a much richer, inclusive discussion. So I think that works across everything that works. That is the core of diversity, when we talk about diversity is having different life experiences, being able to have those causal discussions, whether it's because you, you, you grew up in a different country, you're you have a different spirituality than the person sitting next to you, whether you Whatever the reason, that is a very potent way of sort of having much more sort of deep respect for the associations that people bring. And an aha moment, that moment of creativity. That is, that is a neurologically distinct signal in our brains. And that's that, and we have that moment of the obvious, the non-obvious becomes obvious. And we need that diversity. And we need that variability in our own thinking and in the thinking of the team. So we work quite hard to bring inclusivity into decision making, based on, on how we think causally,

Dave Edwards
I think it's important. Remember, we have these big, beautiful, powerful brains, but one of the reasons that they're so powerful is we're able to collaborate with others. So we use the knowledge of others that are near us and that work with us. Plus, we also put our knowledge out in the world. And that's a sort of a can be a counterintuitive idea, you think would make a good decision to put myself in my office and sit in front of my desk and not have any distractions and everything else. So we actually go quite different think quite differently about that than then you might, you know, think from that concept. So we talk about being less brain bound. How do you think about getting out of your brain and tapping knowledge that's out in the world? How do you get outside how do you move, you know, tapping into work from Barbra Tversky and a Murphy Paul, about the fact that so much of our knowledge is out in the world. And that makes sense when you think about it, there's only so much knowledge we can have in our in our body in our brains. And so much of our knowledge comes through our body, we think metacognitively event, and we can think with interoception, that helps us understand, you know, the inside workings of our bodies actually tells us a lot about how we feel today, and how we might feel after a decision. And we can evaluate it that way. We don't know about some of your stuff. And we talk it's definitely a bit of a wacky. So we also talk a lot about flow is one of the notice, how do you get into that state of flow? And I think for some who is highly spiritual, allowing yourself to be in that state to actually have that flow state that comes through combat, being bonded with your spirituality will put you in a good space for making decisions? And that's an individual experience, how much does that matter to you or to you or to me, that's all our own individual spaces, and that's fine. But being in that good emotional spot, whatever that means to you, is going to improve your decision making

Helen Edwards
Well, that and that's the real, that's the how to get to an aha moment. Yeah. Being able to be in that that cognitive, emotional space, where it's essentially almost a deep relaxation. And that's where you can reconceptualize something that you might have been battling with for

Greg Voisen
almost certainly, if you, if you look at it, whether you meditate, or you do yoga, or you go for a walk in the woods, or whatever techniques you're using, to get yourself out, because you're trying to solve a problem. You know, that's the best space. I mean, I mean, Steven Kotler has been on here, he's been on here six times has been on our 10 times, and, you know, the flow genome project is about hacking flow. Now, I don't really get that we're all going to be able to hack flow, okay, it's like, okay, well, I'm going to be able to have flow, I'm going to be able to do these things, there are certain things are going to help you definitely and get in the right space. And, you know, when you when you look at extreme athletes and the things that they do, to get into that flow state to be able to sustain, whether it's riding a wave, Hamilton or somebody else, you know, who's doing something. It's interesting, when they study the mind, the chemicals that are being released the endorphins that are being released, the things that are happening, that's what we're trying to get to, and I think, whatever techniques we're using, yes, you can hack it a bit. But in the end, it's, it's still, I don't even know how to say this mean, it's got to come naturally. Okay. So, Helen, you mentioned that you have borrowed techniques from the design thinking, called Five why's, and I'm sure my listeners understand what why is ours? If we keep asking ourselves, why, why, why, why, why away, we're going to finally get down to it in this decision making process. Why is why so important?

Helen Edwards
Why is important, because the power of explanations, essentially. And so I think about it as an engineer, originally, so and this came out of, you know, the five why's originally had its heritage and root cause analysis. And it's very easy to like jumping to conclusions, it's very easy to take the first answer and not really press. But what happens with explanations, that explanations are generative. And you actually create something in your own mind when you when you offer an explanation. It's not we're not like machines, where we just go in and retrieve something from memory. We sample from this probability distribution, if you like, and our minds, and we don't really, I mean, I don't know where the mean, the five was sort of, I think people get tired after six to five, and probably unrecorded cause analysis, there's a law of diminishing returns. And that's sort of a nice place to stop. But we can't really get, we don't have access to every single intuitive layer of our explanations. It's just the beliefs are formed very deeply. But by asking why a number of times, what ends up happening is that you have to generate an explanation every time and when you generate an explanation. It changes the way that you process the information. And the real guru on this is a prop from Princeton named Tanya Lombroso. And she's a genius at understanding the way that that explanations cause us to do more than just reason they cause us to really have to construct something in our minds. So, and this was something that I really embraced deeply when I was doing the research for this book is truly understanding how powerful it is to have somebody else offer an explanation as well. And this is an absolute slam dunk for anyone raising teenage girls. It's just like the ultimate thing to do with teenage girls, is to gently coax explanations out of them, because they're the ultimate people who think they've got the world utterly dialed. And if you even just one layer of the explanation, and you see the complete realization in their own mind, that they've got no idea why they think what they think they've, that it's come to them from someone else who has come to them from social media or what have you. And when you press them for an explanation, it's the it's so revealing to just see them go. No. So as a mom of three teenage girls, it's an absolute slam dunk. But it works. It comes to we sort of come at this, also from Steve Sloman who wrote a book called The Knowledge illusion, which was really almost sort of where we started this journey as picking up his book, which is where we get our knowledge from our community. And there's a psychological effect called the illusion of explanatory depth. And we feel we know more than we do. Because we have access through friends, family, the internet, whatever it is, to information and knowledge. And when we're forced to explain something, we realize how we don't know as much as we thought, and it busts the solution. We use this all the time in our workshops, it's a very, very powerful way of, it's very humbling to realize that what you've, that you your sense of knowledge isn't actually backed up by knowledge. It's backed up by access to knowledge. Right, right. And, yeah, and it's, it's a very profound insight.

Greg Voisen
That's the reason for going out in the world. Because that's where you're going to obtain that. And I love what it said, I used to do a workshop with my son who's in the software industry business. I came up with the title, never mind, never mind the noise thriving in a world of ever increasing complexity. And I think that complexity is a key issue here. And the noise is a key issue. Because when you can find the Signal and the Noise, right? It's like the beacon that's coming through. That's where you're getting kind of your aha moments. And Dave, you mentioned that making creative decisions means understanding the problem applying patterns, and elsewhere in meaningful ways and allowing time and space for imagination. You just missed that. And somebody asked me the other day, I don't remember how it came up. But Imagineering and Disney, I actually met Walt Disney when I was six years old, I got to actually shake his hand and say hi to him. And the lady was so like, oh my god, you got to meet Well, Disney. Well, imagination is a key. What are the nudges that help us unleash the most creative decision making? Because there's so many people in this world that we've seen, are just hyper creative, right? And you always wonder why, what space are they in? That they have this magic gift to be so super creative, right? versus, you know, a lot of people where it doesn't come that easily. We love

Dave Edwards
the creative nudges. And there's, that's one of the core sections of the book is on decision creativity. There's a few that I'd highlight here. A lot of it has to do with being in the right, the right mental and emotional space. In order to allow the creativity to happen. We've talked a lot about aha moments, and being more curious, but I'd highlight a couple one is to wallow in the problem. And this comes from our good friend, Michael Bungay Stanier. And he brings a design mindset to the concept, which is to stay in the problem as long as possible. It feels so good to get to the solution, that and you feel like you're the hero in the room, and you're the one who comes up with the idea. But the problem with that is you're automatically cutting off any ability to be truly creative. Drew creatives stay in the problem as long as possible. So you spend 10 times as much time in the problem understanding it than you do and actually generating and creating the solution and In our world is human centered designers, which is another part portion of our business. We spend a lot of time understanding the problem, so much so that our clients go, wow, we're really spending a lot of time in this, aren't we, but that's where the creative ideas come from, is when you really sit there, another good natured highlight, one of my favorites is sketch. And this was inspired by Barbara Tversky. What a wonderful book called Mind in motion about how we, how we think through movement, and how spatial reasoning is the foundation of abstract thought, which kind of gets you to that sort of concept of creativity, right. And she did a lot of work in her career roundabout with designers and creativity and found that sketching was a really wonderful technique for advancing creativity. You don't have to be good with a pen, I'm actually a terrible sketcher. I mean, no one be able to understand really tell what I'm actually drawing, but sketching something out, sketching out what you think the problem is, sketching out what you think, someone's emotional state is think is sketching out who you think you're solving this for, whatever you're doing, you're generating something. And the action of actually using a pen on paper or pencil on something or marker on a whiteboard, gives you a new way of thinking and seeing what you're thinking. For me, that's quite powerful. I'm one of these sort of classic extroverts where I don't know what I'm thinking until I say it, which is a must be a real, wonderful, charming challenge for my wife and business partner. Because I'll sit there and yammer on that. I don't know, I'm not sure I really like how that sounds. Let me change that. I'm gonna change that idea. But sketching does the same thing. I can draw it out and go. I'm not sure I really like that. I'm gonna go back and think about that one. Again, if I really understood this problem to really come up with some sort of creative idea,

Greg Voisen
or you, Tori thinker.

Dave Edwards
I definitely think out loud, for sure. So you're an auditory thinker. Yep. Yeah, very much so very much. And, and I think, and I think quite generatively, and experimentally out loud. So understanding what that is, is important and allowing us to say that the time and space for imagination, right, not rushing it, I think it's also important to share uncertain ideas, and allowing them to be out in the world in a way that they they're not complete. You know, you mentioned Steve Jobs. And one of the, you know, one of the perhaps less famous parts of his creative process was one walking. So it's constantly out wandering around infinite loop campus back in the day. And also the way he introduced new ideas, he would walk in and say, this might be a dopey idea. But right and offering something up, that was not complete, that was still messy, there was still possibility that someone else could contribute ideas to it. And there's one of the great ways I think, Johnny, I’ve talks a lot about how that was the way they start their most creative, constant conversations is he opened up the idea to allow someone else to bring new ideas to it and contribute to it.

Greg Voisen
Well, I, like Michael said to wallow, you know, when he when you guys are talking about that, and I think that's a great nudge, probably one of the better ones, because, yes, it's not to the fastest that come to the solution. Because really haven't thought it out. And I actually looked for this quote, while we were talking about it online. And Einstein said, A man should look for what is not for what he thinks should be. Great Spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. I believe in intuition and inspirations. I Sometimes feel that I am right. Sometimes, yes, right. That's right. Sometimes right. Now, and in your book, you mentioned that life throws us curveballs boy does it. But then we crave certainty. And we do, you know, we're in uncertain times people are looking for certainty. If there was like a big solution today, it would be how would you help provide the world with some certainty? And we try to create certainty in our decisions. We're talking about decision making, thinking, Okay, I'm making the right decision by doing this. How do I do that? What must our decision making? Why must the decision making be flexible? And what are some of the nudges that you'd recommend applying when uncertainty is present? Which right now seems like almost all the time?

Helen Edwards
Yeah, yeah, you're right. We don't, we do crave certainty. I mean, our brain interprets uncertainty as dangerous. So we, we tend to, we don't like uncertainty. And, but we have to, there's a couple of things we need to do. One is to actually somewhat reframe our relationship with uncertainty. It's, you think about what it's like to you know, watch a basketball game, and the sides are completely unequal and you know, who's going to win so It's not really interesting. I mean, the most exciting games are when it's back and forth. And it's really close. And that's uncertainty. As fun. It's an uncertainty as opportunity. And that's really what uncertainty represents. And I think that there's a little bit of an intersection going on here, culturally, with the analytics movement with the promise of the analytics movement, and the promise of the analytics movement and AI in general, is that there's the single optimizable answer, and that a human can't possibly find that we need a machine to find it. And I think that that's exacerbated this sort of focus on reducing uncertainty to zero, just the predictive world we live in, where we need predictions for everything, because we've got predictions for everything. And we need to actually really remember, especially leaders really need to remember that uncertainty is opportunity. And that the job of a leader is to actually help the people get better at managing uncertainty, because it is difficult, it's uncomfortable. And there's, you know, paradoxical decisions, there's dilemmas. That's just the way life is. And some of it is that we've got more of them present more of them presented to us every day. And a lot of the nudges that I like about flexible decisions. And the reason we need flexible decisions is because we can't quantify the uncertainty, there is no machine that can tell us the optimal answer the answers to life, the universe, and everything is 42. Well, it's not. We, we we've need to be flexible, because we could be wrong, you know, we were, we work a lot and complex problem solving and translating some of the new science of from, from complexity science across into business. And one of the great insights is, you've got to reframe how you deal with uncertainty. And one of the ways that I personally do it, that's been a really big help to me. when life throws curveballs as one that comes from Adam Grant, and the nudges, be less wrong. And instead of trying to like, get your things you know, to be just a little bit better, just a little bit better focus on the things you don't know. And you can get a greater lift on just a little bit more understanding of the things you don't know. And that's not an intuitive thing for people to do. Because guess what it's uncomfortable, doesn't feel good to go and wallow in the things you don't know you want to wallow in the things you do know, that's why we have this is where we all read exactly the same articles over and over and over again, you know, just different variations of our favorite subjects and go down the YouTube rabbit holes and what have you, is because we tend to like to read things that are familiar. But once we start to research things that are less familiar, that are less comfortable, and that we're able to handle the uncertainty around that we start to see more opportunity, we start to have that close baseball game basketball game. But that that's that well, it's so sort of it used to

Greg Voisen
it's so easy to fall into reading things Helen and Dave, that will, we're familiar with, or we'd like, I remember when I had Steven on the show not so long ago, I said, you know, look, if you're a programmer, you might want to read Architectural Digest, you might want to read all of these things that are so foreign to you in different spaces that you're not in, because that's actually going to stimulate your ability to come back with better decisions, better creative decisions, better ways to approach something. And he was telling me all the various publications he reads that are unrelated to anything that he's doing. Right. And I always remember that because I thought kind of odd, you know, the first thing we're going to default to is another book about something we know in a space that we know because we feel comfortable and familiar with it. And it's going to reaffirm what we already thought because somebody is going to say something that we'd already heard and we go great, okay, I can hang my hat on that one again. Because here's somebody else who wrote a book that said that that's good. So that's got to be right. And I find it fascinating that our default mechanism is, as you say, toward those biases, those are certainly huge biases, and that's where we're going to go. And as humans, you know, I'm not a social biologist, but we have a tendency as you said, to move towards the things you said we're only using 20 Watts to power this brain. So we're moving toward things that are comfortable and don't take a lot of stress. And we kind of go to homeostasis right. It's like okay, great. That's we can hang out here right. But that it's not how you're going to grow, you're certainly not going to grow by doing that. And you know, you guys in the book you give, it's a great guide for individuals and teams wanting to make better decisions, right? Let's face it, I'm going to tell my listeners, they didn't give you all the nudges. So go by the book, so you can get the nudges, because they are great. And they're citations from the people they came from. It's awesome that that is worth the book just in itself. Even if you only apply one of those nudges, what three pieces of advice would you like to leave our listeners with, associated with making better decisions if he took this whole book, and wrapped a ribbon around it and said, Okay, guys, you're gonna leave this podcast today. And here's three things just like I said before, not 10, not 23. And you guys can walk away with? It's like the peanut butter jars. Do we want creamy? Or Jeff? Or? Do we want to get almond butter? Okay, you get your choice.

Helen Edwards
For me, one of the top ones is decision self-awareness is to have this holistic sense in your own self about what decision making means to you, and how and why you want to get better and to embrace who you are personally, if you're an intuitive decision maker, and the world tells you that intuition is out of fashion, well, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to, to just sort of reject that? Or are you going to find ways to make data and analytics work for you. And I love this idea of I love the word metacognition, which means thinking about thinking, it's a human skill, deep human skill. And we have a whole section devoted to improving your metacognition around decision making. And in the last few years, I think that's the one thing that I've personally embraced the most is allowing myself to accept the kind of decision making a decision maker that I am, but to find ways to be a better decision maker on things that just don't come naturally to me. And so being more in the power of explanations, that that's the one that's really stuck with me, and getting, asking myself for an explanation, writing it down myself, and discovering that I have deeper reasons for things then than I thought at the outset, I just think it's really, and being it's so much better, so much better equipped to it's like, like what they say, on the airplane, you know, put on your own face might put on your own oxygen mask first. So you get better yourself, and then you can help other people make better decisions. Yeah,

Dave Edwards
I'm going to add one. Yeah. All right. So I've got one, which is to accept that decision making is a practice, it's not a process. So getting better at decision making is not frequently we'll have people come to our workshops and say, they want a three step process, four step process, they can't even be a nine step process, they just think it's a stepping process, if I just follow this process, I'll make a better decision. Decision making, it's way too much way too complex for that. So you have to allow for the fact that it's actually about practice. So embracing this, like you would meditation or be improving your ability to play the piano or being able to shoot a basketball better, it's not a step by step. It's actually practice and learning and thinking. And so once you take that, that's why we wrote a book that has 50 nudges, there may be one of them that matters you today, and we recommend that people just take one to focus on right now. Maybe pick one a week, you know, you've got one that'll go through an entire year. And after a year, you'll be you'll be much better at it. But once you brace that this is about repetition and practice, and you allow for that to happen that'll improve your decisions. And I'll give one I'll give the third is that right? And the third one, I think is to allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help from others. So much of one of the nudges we talk about is about having knowledge in the community, by getting the outside view about wallowing in the problem with others. There's a lot of things that it's actually not just about yourself. And we have evolved as a species, we've specialized and one of the things that allowed us to specialize and not have the same brain all the time, is that we work together as a community, we've developed rituals that allow us to come together, right we have stories that bond us together as people. And so allowing that to be part of your decision making process, right? You got wonderful people around you that have different perspectives that have diversity of decision making skills and abilities. And looking at that as a team and focusing on how we as a team do, help make better decisions as a group and also help each other make better decisions as individuals. I think it's quite powerful. And I say that because we Do this all the time, you know, we actually have done this, we've run this, we've worked together for more than a decade building businesses and writing a book together, which, as you said, at the beginning, many people will find to be an unusual circumstance. But one of the things that happens is that we actually embrace the fact that we think about things quite differently, or with very different kinds of decision makers. And we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to get help from each other about how to improve our own decision making. That's a very powerful combination, if you can make it work.

Greg Voisen
Well, I think you come from the perspectives, I'm gonna say perspectives, you know, obviously, there's sexual biases, there's the marriage kind of bias, there's the business biases, but you really have wrapped it up in an excellent book about people to make better decisions. They didn't say always the correct decision, they said better. And I think that's what's important is, you know, you said, you get these, I'm gonna say adrenaline kind of rushes or endorphin rushes, as a result of us finishing the loop about a decision. In other words, hey, I made a decision. And it turned out good. And that keeps me wanting to make more decisions. And I want them to emphasize that the wall will one that's Michael's is really important, because I think today in the Western world, we've been put into a position where it's like, how quickly can you make that decision? Now hurry up, make a decision, you know, your boss, or the CEO, or whatever is saying, I want a decision. I need it by tomorrow, right? And then if you go back to him, and you tell him, Well, I don't have all the data points, I don't have what I need. I don't feel really comfortable doing this. He says no, but I needed a decision. Right. So you know, sometimes people are forced to make a decision, against all odds against the things that they're doing. Right. And I think that's got to be one of the toughest ones, is that not having a control or feeling like you're out of control with relation to that, but I will tell everybody listening, in that position, give this book to the CEO, and tell him, Hey, I'm just really trying to help the company make better decisions. So I think

Helen Edwards
you speak a deep truth. Yeah. You know, we're, we're rewarded for having the solution, rather than the problem. And, Michael, I think we said in the book, Michael, had tapped into some research. So I think it's like 80% of the work in organizations is solving the wrong problem. So making the wrong decisions. Yeah. And I think a lot of efficiency can be gained by just slowing down and wallowing a bit longer.

Greg Voisen
And I think you, you hit it, it's really slowing down. And it's important, I think, I want to say this, because so much of this personal growth space is about letting go. You know, we get these thoughts. And you don't have to believe everything you think. Right? But because you think it, you're like you live in the world of MSU, making stuff up. So that that thought then becomes the AI then becomes the belief. And the belief becomes the knowing and it's your truth. And now you're headed down that path all of a sudden, without actually doing some critical thinking about what you just said, Hey, let's think about our thinking metacognition did, how did I really make that decision? And I don't think too many people, other than the two of you probably are doing that. Right. I really don't. I think that it's such a natural process that we fall into, that we really don't give ourselves time to critically stop. Take a look. And question how we've made the decision, you know, so I want to thank both of you for being on the show. I want to thank you for bringing to light, something that I think everybody needs to know more about, and that they should take time to do and I think it's a blessing. So thank you both for being on inside personal growth, spending some time with my listeners, talking about making better decisions. We'll certainly put a link for those of you are interested. Go to get sonder and.com. We'll put a link to that as well. Thank you both. Namaste.

Dave Edwards
Thank you very much.

Helen Edwards
Thank you.

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My guest for this podcast is systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, and motivational speaker, Judy Wilkins-Smith. Judy is joining us today to share insights about her new book entitled Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns.

Passionate about visionary leadership, personal transformation, and positive, accelerated, global change, Judy uses her ability to understand critical dynamics in personal and organizational systems to create growth and success.

And with 18 years of experience, Judy has been assisting high performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives and their teams as well as legacy families, to break limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance.

Judy also wants to share her thoughts and expertise through a book. Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint shares the good news that no matter what blueprint you’ve been given, you have the power to change your life. This book brings you a wealth of hands-on strategies and practices so you can learn to detect hidden and multigenerational patterns, recognize their purpose, and then transform old cycles to create an extraordinary life.

If you’re interested and want to know more about Judy, you may click here to visit her website.

I hope you enjoy my engaging interview with Judy Wilkins-Smith. Happy listening!

THE BOOK

Throughout the book, you’ll:
• Learn to make the invisible visible by decoding your use of language and your body’s messages
• Identify the gifts that are often hidden within the pain and messiness of a family or other system
• Understand the physical, emotional, and neurological changes that happen through systemic work
• Break free from the immensely powerful meta patterns that keep you in a systemic trance―including gender, war, natural disasters, and religion
• Explore the ways your unconscious patterning impacts every area of life―relationships, money, health, and more.

THE AUTHOR

Judy is a highly regarded organizational, individual and family patterns expert, systemic coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, leadership conference and motivational speaker and founder of System Dynamics for Individuals & Organizations. She has 18 years expertise in assisting high performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives and their teams as well as legacy families, to break limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance.

 

You may also refer to the transcripts below for the full transciption (not edited) of the interview.

Greg Voisen
Well, welcome back to Inside Personal Growth. This is Greg Voisen, the host of Inside Personal Growth. And we have Judy Wilkins-Smith joining us. And you're in Austin, is that right?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I'm in Tyler, which is actually Southeast of Dallas.

Greg Voisen
Southeast of Dallas. And she has written a new book called Decoding your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns. Really interesting, because when I did my course, in spiritual psychology, I did a histogram. And the histogram was quite revealing about how things repeat themselves and patterns. And we're going to be talking about that this morning with her, but I'm gonna let my listeners know a little bit about Judy. She's highly regarded organizational, individual and family pattern expert, a systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, a thought partner and Leadership Conference and motivational speaker, she helps individuals and groups and limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performances. And so she really does help people transform themselves and get unstuck. And so if you want to learn more about her, just go to Judy Wilkins, w-i-l-k-i-n-s hyphen smith.com. There, you can learn more about her programs, her events, and what she's up to, what's a pleasure having you on? Because, you know, I know people might think about this in the back of their mind, but it's not in the forefront of their mind frequently. And it takes somebody like you, with your expertise, to actually bring it back up so that they have an opportunity to work with it. Right, really engaged with what's going on. How did I get these patterns? How can I break these patterns. And you know, you in the introduction in the book, you state one ID, one word can keep you stuck. And that is true. Another idea, a new word, can set you free. Your minds are that powerful. That's how powerful the languages that we speak to ourselves. It's potent. And but the brains are flexible. That's the good thing. You say we are never a victim of our world. And there's always something we can do. How does our emotional DNA play a role in the patterns of decisions, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions we have daily?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, so thank you. So what we know is you inherit your physical DNA, but what most people don't realize is you also inherit those patterns of thoughts, feelings, actions, in actions, and that your emotional DNA, and it's really, really strong stuff, it's the stuff that will determine whether you will or won't, can or can't make money will or won't, can or can't have successful relationships impacted determines just about everything in your life. Now, the interesting piece of that is, it's often based on an event that happened way before you maybe two or three generations ago. And we know that as soon as there's an event, a significant event for you, you have a reaction to it, and you have a reaction that causes thoughts, and it causes feelings, and then it causes actions. And before you know it, you've your brain has toured your body, this is the new truth. And so it becomes, well, that also holds true through the generation. So you will have somebody who says, you see I work, you work, you work, you work along comes a Great Depression, you lose everything, there's no point in saving money, or what we pick up is don't save money, that it goes down through the degenerations. And suddenly, you really would like to have a nice day you'd like to have a bigger home, you'd like to feel safe. And you don't understand why you keep telling yourself, yes, but don't save money. Well, it's that pesky little piece that's come tumbling down. Because it means that something wasn't completed, the grandfather simply said don't save money, but he didn't say why. And he didn't talk about what had happened. And so that it goes down waiting for you to see it and go, but that's not working for me. And understand that that came that came down so that you could change it into something remarkable. That's totally usable. So what this is, is it's a whole series of doors and keys. Once you understand the language and the thoughts, the patterns, the feelings, the actions, these are all waiting for you to turn them into success, turn them into fulfillment. So it's not the third day to bug you. It's the third day to invite you or ignite you.

Greg Voisen
I liked the way you turn that around because the reality is I think a lot of people see those patterns They have a difficult time breaking them. They don't always know where they came from. We call them these old patterns, but they're there. And it's just like creating a new habit. Right? Right, people have to work at a new habit, you want to be slim, you have to eat less, you have to exercise more. It's a new habit. It's something that you weren't doing. But you're suggesting, and I think this is the fascinating part is that these multi-generational patterns and thoughts and beliefs have actually transferred. Now you state that from the time were conceived until long after we die, we're part of a multi-generational family system that goes back to the dawn of humanity. I have a feeling some of the listeners have a hard time maybe understanding that but I know you have scientific evidence that you can talk about, you also state we're part of a social system that's 1000s of years in the making. If this is part of our emotional DNA, let's just assume that you have a lot of naysayers out there, if because they don't know, they don't know. How do we identify and work with changing the things that are not serving us and acknowledging those things that are serving us.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So there's a third point as well, it's not just changing or acknowledging it's using. So first of all, changing it, we look at what's really, really and often this is the way we evolve. It's so uncomfortable, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Alright, so we know something has to change. When we really look at what it is that has to change. For us. That's the pattern trying to stop, you can ask yourself things like, how do I feel? How do I think, what am I telling myself about that? What do I make it mean about me and about others? Then ask yourself, did anybody else in the family have a similar pattern? So does it really belong to me? Or is it echoing through to me saying, hey, you can be the change agent. So that's the one piece you look for what really irritates, where you're always sad, mad, depressed, stuck. Those are your patterns trying to stop and they came from somewhere, you don't exist in a vacuum. Even if you don't know who your family is, it's there. So that's the one piece, when you acknowledge it, you're finally giving it a place because we know in systems, anything you exclude, happily hops down, the generations going, see me see me see me until we give it its place, then it no longer needs to be excluded, Nick can breed so that when the pattern stops, but there are also pieces in your life where you go, you know, I really wish. So what I say to people is look at what really, really has you stuck. And then what is the flip side of that? What do you really, really wish in regard to that. And you said, You've got to form new habits, you've got to kind of work at it, that's the one piece, you've got to work at it in a way that the brain tells the body a story that it can believe. In other words, to change it, there are a couple of things, you want an elevated emotion, like gratitude, kindness, joy, expectation, adventure, and you want that coupled to what it is to go or the new pattern. Because the minute you couple, those two, you're now so excited, nothing in on this world is going to stop you from getting what you want. And what it means is it bypasses it pulls your past all of the old excuses and all of the old reasons for not doing anything, because you're now focused here. And if you keep repeating that, you will get to where it is that you want to go. When you do that. It's not that you don't belong here anymore, it's that you've expanded the system. So you always look at the other and so that when I say to people, I say, my terrible mother,

Greg Voisen
how would you relate this? You know, I've actually been to classes with David Hawking. And, you know, you look at consciousness. And you know, all of us are trying to, I wouldn't say all of us, but a lot of people are attempting to reach their highest human potential should enter whatever that might be. But we all vibrate at a different level. So the vibratory level of which were emanating ourselves or coming out is different. And you're saying, Well, if you're elated, and you're exuberant, and you have happiness, you can almost nothing will stop you. You're instant you're unstoppable. And I would say that's true, because that kind of energy is contagious, right? It's very contagious. Does this have a strong connection? It's got to between our elevated consciousness, working with the systemic work that you're talking about, and the constellations,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
absolutely, and it also has a story On connection with neuroscience, because think about it, let's, let's go back to money. You say I've gotten and I've gotten and then this sort of uses imagine if I had, I'd really like to do that piece. I want to go and say, I want to get financially literate, I'm going to be smart, I'm going to build that cash and the wealth. It's not that magical. You're sitting on a sunbeam. And it's floating in. It's that frontal cortex is now open. And it's looking at, ah, I can learn about you I can show it's pulling in what it needs. Now, the old pattern was, we don't talk about money, because it doesn't do well in our family. You're going no, no, I see you. Let's talk about money. And let's change the story in the family. So you're changing the narrative, you're changing the way that you look at money, the brain is changing the way it sees it, you're having these winds and what happens is the body goes, Oh, this is true. You're becoming more literate. We have a different situation here. So it's not that it's magic mushroom cloud, it's you're literally creating that. And Greg, it's exactly the same way. As you say, I'm stupid. I'm useless. Can't do this. I'm hopeless. And you feel that in your body and your bodies is yep, that's the truth. You can't do that. We create or CO create all the time, we say yes and no, this is learning to say yes and no consciously, in an elevated manner. And so yeah, rewire the brain.

Greg Voisen
How is it though, you know, this is kind of a subject that you, I'm sure you can address. You run into people that are always victims of something. It's just like, next. It's next. Its next. Next, there's always some trauma going on in their life. It's like, that's what they live. With. What Why is it that one they're attracting that? And what belief patterns are they running around with, that they need to transmute or actually transition, to move to a state of not having that.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So when somebody comes to me, and they're permanently in a state of victimhood, which is really a nasty place to be in, because it's what I call The Big Sleep, what I do is, if they have knowledge, and this is why I love genealogy, if they have knowledge of their family system, many don't. But if they do, I'll take them. Where was the first big victim? Who was it? What is the big event in the family that that created that that victimhood? Because now it's rolling downhill to you? It's asking to be seen and changed. So where did it come from? Now? If you don't know, what we'll do is have a look at your life, your own timeline of your life? And see, where did that first happen for you? What was happening in your life at the time? What did you tell yourself about that? What did you feel about that? What did you do about that? Because now we have a sense of the pattern that's begun to form? Where did those words come from? When you first say those words? Where did they come from? So it's looking at where did it come from? And how is it inhabiting me, once you look at that you can say to the person or you can work with them? Okay. That's where the victimhood came from. And so, do you notice how every time something happens, you're just about to have that breakthrough, and you hit a brick wall, that's like your dad or your grandfather, there's that there's an unconscious loyalty to that pattern that was formed, because nobody spoke about it and drew it to conclusion. Nobody acknowledged it. So it became an exclusion. And it's asking you to give it its place, and re hyphen, member it into the system. And once you do that, it no longer needs to show up for you. Now you're free to do something else.

Greg Voisen
Like a big matrix. So yeah. So Judy, if you would speak with our listeners about systemic work and the conscious of the consciousness of the system are conscious of the system speak about the rules and regulations unique to each system and breaking free from the systemic trance so that our souls can evolve. And kind of in your case, you have the stepping stones, there's 25 of them, but you have stepping stones, these are one pages, one, two, in front of my listeners, you get the book, it's referenced on page 24 and 25. But speak with us if you would, because I think this is an important element of your book. And it is a way that you can help people transmit this.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So asked me again, exactly which one it is that you're asking me.

Greg Voisen
You speak about the systemic work,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
and the systemic transit, right, you asked about the conscience. So the conscience of the system is the rules of the system. In other words in your family, everybody has to be quiet and introverted. That's how we function in this family. Well, okay, where'd that come from? Well, when great grandfather was in, in Russia, if you raised your head got chopped, we learned to be quiet and introverted, that has now come all the way down. Then you come along, and you go, yeah, these rules of staying quiet and introverted are really not who I am, and you're super unhappy. You look at new guy just can't do it. And you start to do things that are a little bit different, you're a little bit more of an extrovert, you're doing all of that you're exuberant. What you would say is you're outside the conscience of the system. Because the conscience or the rules of the system is saying, no, no, no, no, keep quiet, be introverted. But here's what we know, you know, those patterns, we were talking about the ones that want to stop and the ones that want to start? Were the ones that want to stop, you're looking at that and going introverted doesn't serve us anymore. It certainly doesn't serve me I can't do what I'm doing this pattern, I have to change. So now you have a struggle. Do I do like the family does? Because if I am, and if I do, mom says do none. And Greg please, you know, really stopped with the extraversion and you go, okay. And you really, really want to be an extrovert, but you go, no, you know what, this feels so familiar, I'll just, I'll do that. And you're unhappy, but it's familiar. That's a systemic trance, you're doing something that isn't good for you. Because it's familiar, and it keeps you safe. But a lot of growth happens at that point where you go, I can't do this anymore. I'm an extrovert. I'm loud, I'm proud, I'm amazing, I can't do this. That's the pattern that's trying to emerge through you. That's the new pattern that's trying to start. And it's very important. It needs the old pattern, it needed that extra introverted family, where you to go, here's my chapter. And, and the chapter that changes things, is also a gift to the other, it's expanding the system. So each is in service of the other.

Greg Voisen
Now, you're talking about this on an individual level, and I want to take this to a next higher level. That is that if you look at our world order today, and you see what's being disrupted everything across the world, absolutely. Our political systems, our educational systems, our ikan, medicals medical systems, economic systems and so on. It's almost like they're out of order trying to seek a new order, almost like what you are talking about, at this individual level. Could you speak briefly about this disruption that's occurred, and the equilibrium or balance we're attempting to find but haven't found? You know where it's going? Sure.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
So what you're talking about are meta systems. In other words, we've got big systems at the moment, the ones you discussed, and they know that something isn't including everybody, so it's trying to expand. And at the same time, the ones who aren't may not be including or going not so fast, because then I'm going to be excluded. What we haven't done yet is expand to where everybody has a sense of belonging. So there's very much a polarization, you have to do it this way. Or you have to do it this way. And you have the haves, and you have the have nots, we haven't created a laddering system, both laterally and vertically. That allows us to start stepping away in here's, here's the thing, when we want to hand out when we just want to receive things because our ancestors had a hard time we're out of order. The minute we do that we're trying to atone for what our ancestors did to someone else, or we're trying to get what from a somebody else, because our ancestors were disadvantaged, and you can't do that. So there's one of our big pieces. We're stepping out of order and trying to solve problems. For others. You can't do that. What you can do is look and say, if this didn't work, and this didn't work, what can we do together? That allows it to work differently in a way that everybody feels calm and can be long. So while we've got the polarized pieces, showing us what to weigh out, we've got a whole lot of people in the middle waiting for us to say, can we just stop with the ultra this or the ultra that? Both sides? Both Ultras have to be included? Because if we exclude either all you do is you get keep getting that ripple effect.

Greg Voisen
Yeah, very good explanation of it. It's a very good grasp. It's a feeling I think that many people have, and they don't know how to express it or how to deal with it, but they deal with it, by probably not even talking about it, or on a daily basis doing nothing. But it's worth, you know, it was worth our dialogue there about it,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I appreciate it. And you know, when we do nothing, we get more of the same. I know, I, back in South Africa, the I would I spoke, I spoke English. And at the time of recounts was the other language. But if you didn't speak Afrikaans, you were disadvantaged. Here was the thing that my parents taught me. You don't sit there and be a victim, you figure out what it is that you want, and you figure out how you're going to get it. There is always a way. And I think that's something I carry with me. I don't expect somebody to come to me, but I do know that I can figure it out. And I love that process. If you tell me no, I'm going to go out. Now, the other thing that I learned working with systems is, I won't, it's not about fighting, we talk a lot at the moment, we have very inflamed language. And we talk about fighting and rights and all of this sort of thing. It's not about fighting, it's about adding value. When I could add enough value, the system that that I was up against would look and go Oh, yep, that's interesting. Come on in. So I learned if I wanted to advance, that was my job, nobody else's.

Greg Voisen
Well, it had no value always adds to the equation. And it's almost like the concept of infinity, right? We have to keep adding all the time, you're never going to get to the end of infinity. Now, we don't know how many universes exist out there. We don't know how many other globes are spinning with other souls just like us that are trying to do the same things. And so that puts it a bit in perspective. And you said that it takes understanding the existing blueprint to create emotional DNA? How do we decode our DNA to break free and get unstuck from the patterns of language, that could be holding us back from finding our true selves? Because, you know, there's a lot of talk about true self. I'm not certain that many listeners maybe even myself included, and I've done, you know, 25 years of personal growth work. You kind of look at what his true self because it's always evolving.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I was gonna say, you know, what a better explanation is the evolving self. Yeah, yeah. Evolving self. Yeah, I like that even more evolving self is even more resonant for me.

Greg Voisen
I think because the discomfort. I had an author on here not long ago, let's talk about discomfort because we live in a society where other societies look at us and say, hey, you know, we really want you guys to be in discomfort. We want you guys to have it hard for a while, right? Like we have, but we don't have to claim that. My point is, is that that term, the author was talking about your growth. And here's the duality and the dichotomy can't have black without White can have good without bad is that fact that he's saying? Discomfort creates that growth? Where would you sit on this with relation to this? Finding back and finding ourselves finding our evolving self, which is really the question,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
what I would say is, he's right from the way I would put it is you've got to come out of the systemic trance. In other words, everybody in our family, whatever's has a bad relationship, all the men go and the women are left alone. Okay? You can do that. How's that working for you? If you want something to really work for you, you've got to be willing to get beyond the systemic trance, or the way that it is. That's not what we're here for. We're here for what's possible. And we start that I mean, we're given that lesson as kid and babies, a baby doesn't walk until it wants to. It has this Oh, you're doing that? I want to do that. And so our wants are what pulls us past the systemic trance. So when people say to me, we've been taught to not want, my brain goes along. Now want a lot, but don't just want it, do something about it. One new thought one new feeling one new action at a time. And you're going to find that the more you're willing to open your eyes, the more there is a really big interactive universe out there. And it's waiting for you to come play.

Greg Voisen
Yeah. I like what you're saying because the reality is that creates growth, and then growth. Within growth. There's always opportunity. There's opportunity there to see things from a different perspective from a different purview from a different vantage point. You know, I'm not saying rose colored glasses, I'm just saying that you're seeing things differently. And then you're able to kind of put the pieces together, the dots, I call it putting the dots together, right. And, you know, you speak about what you refer to as constellation, which is a facilitated three dimensional process that enables you to see all parts. And again, this comes down to the dots of the issue, and the spatial relationship among the components, along with the various origins and impacts of the issue. Can you speak about those constellations? And how we can better kind of see that?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, absolutely. And then remind me and let's come back to the suffering piece that we were touching on. So a constellation is indeed a 3d process, it's probably the most powerful part of all of this work. People come to events to come and experience a constellation. It's that powerful, because what it does is, we sit down and take a history, we look at the issue that you're wanting to deal with, we're going to when that started for you, who else in the family, all of those pieces, until we know who belongs in this issue? What are the components of this issue? Maybe it's Mom, maybe it's dad, siblings, you may be an uncle. And so then what I say is, okay, pick someone in the group, someone in the audience, who can represent your father, someone to represent your mother, someone to represent your siblings, one for you, one for that uncle. And once they've selected us, great, now, I want you to show me what that looks like in relationship to this issue. So maybe all the women struggle with men or struggle to have a relationship, show me what that looks like. And, and they will place mom over here and maybe grandmother over there and themselves over here. But what they do is they're giving me a spatial representation of how it is in their family. So then I can see who's distant, who's engaged, who's disengaged, where the lot hidden loyalties, who's turned away. And what does that mean, because I'll often ask, Why is your father looking at it? Well, he never came. When he came back from the war, he was never the same. So I'll put a representative over there where he's looking. And often you'll see that Representative move towards that space. And I asked, so he was in war. Yes. He saw live action. Yes. They didn't come back. Yes, he hasn't completed. That's one of the reasons that we have a struggle here based where the men have disappeared, what's going on with the woman? So by asking questions, and they suddenly start to remember, Oh, well, we have this in the family. And we have that in the family. And mom was never particularly engaged with us. Are there any miscarriages? Is there a Was there anybody lost or she lost a child? And if we put a representative down, often the person will look at their child as it was just before or after you? After me, but Mom was never the same. Do you see where her attention was? Oh, so it wasn't me. She wasn't looking at No, she was looking here. So now they start to have different insights. I have so many, one, one person in particular, who say to me, oh, my goodness, for 63 years, I've thought I was unlovable, I'm looking at the picture. I'm listening and remembering what my mom said to me. And I suddenly realize it had nothing to do with me. I'm lovable. What do I do with that? And so then we start looking at so what is the issue that you're looking at? Well, I struggled to be a good leader, or I struggled to have a relationship. Do you see that this was moms struggle, and maybe grandmother's struggle, and you really don't have to repeat that. You can acknowledge it and see what happened. And perhaps now you look at men a little differently. And there is invitation instead of Oh, I know what's about to happen. So it's a very powerful 3d process. And what happens is, because they're looking at it, and they're hearing it, they're walking, and they're maybe touching, suddenly, they start to have these insights, a multi-sensory insight that becomes an embodied experience. And because it's the embodied experience, they have the aha moment, and the rewiring of the brain and the body starts immediately.

Greg Voisen
And as like the reenactment of a play,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
it really is, it is and they'll say, Oh, my goodness, I'm not stupid. I'm really and this wasn't my fault. And just saying this wasn't my fault is so I can go and do that. And you can see them start turning already and I said, So what are you going to go and do now? Well, I'm I know there was always sadness in the family up income, the joy. Does that feel Rocky? Yes. Now they've just begun recoding that emotional DNA and they know what their purpose is, and they know what their direction is. And that's because it's such a strong three De peace. Well, it

Greg Voisen
is a 3d and I can see how you set that up. For somebody reading the book, I know you do these in your workshops, so it's a great way to do it. And I will tell people, she's got an upcoming workshop as well. And you might want to get signed into that if it isn't sold out, go to our website, because that's a perfect opportunity. Or there'll be more opportunities for that because I think actually, physically doing that or working with you to do that would be the best thing they could do. Now, you mentioned that systemic work and constellations may seem startling in their effectiveness, even disturbingly uncanny, just like he talked about. And there can be many credible scientific explanations from the fields of neuroscience, epigenetics, quantum physics, psycho, neuro immunology, breaking up what's happening? Can you discuss the scientific explanations? Because I think are there people out there that are a little more practical scientific, when you have all those nice big words explaining all of those per what I want to call it fields of study? It's that's a pretty broad viewpoint on fields of study, which actually kind of prove this.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yes, absolutely. So if we start with something like epigenetics, epigenetics is about the gene expression. Okay. So what we know is that if there is a significant event, it creates an emotional imprint on the system. And that becomes a blueprint for generations of behavior. If you look at 911, that's the most recent one that they studied. They studied women's PTSD markers. And the woman who had been pregnant with children at the time had elevated PTSD markers. But so did the children. If you go back to the great Dutch Hangul winter, there was an entire city in the Netherlands that was surrounded by the Nazis because they'd sympathized with the allies. And for three months, there was no food, no water, they existed on what was there. And what they did was they went in and tested those women, the women who had been pregnant, and there was an assortment of eating disorders that they had that the children had, but for four generations, so far, those continue to show up. Now, are they reversible? If we were to look at them differently, if we were to study them systemically might that change, it's entirely possible because don't forget, we're either operating by the biology of stress, or by the biology of elevation. So the minute you activate the stress hormones, here we go. And this is what it does to the body, and it damages the body, the minute we activate the elevated ones, it starts to transform the body. So

Greg Voisen
you might, you might be aware of the ACE studies, AC II, of higher, so Kaiser started that it's childhood experiences. But it, they've literally proven that if they give you this test, and it's through Kaiser, they've been working on this now for 20 years, and they've studied 1000s and 1000s of people, they can actually tell based upon the way you answer those questions, your propensity to obesity, how much how long you will live, they have predictive indicators that are extremely accurate. I'm very accurate. I'm working with a doctor that actually came up with that,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
gosh, I would love to meet them, I have to say, because that would be super helpful. Yeah,

Greg Voisen
yeah, they're called ACE AC E, when you might want to look that up. But they have been thus taking those questionnaires. And that there's a lot of men and women that come into these clinics that are clinically obese, and they're trying to remove it. But they when they go to those childhood experiences, they can see why they were they get to the root cause of it. And they really are able to lose much more weight. So I

Judy Wilkins-Smith
love that now here's where I go, yes, yes to the root cause, because if you don't have your root cause you're going to keep repeating. So now you've got the root cause and you can lose weight. But what I would say is the piece that we keep missing is and then and then. So now I'm going to lose weight. And then what if you if somebody says to me, I've found out what it is that keeps the weight on, you know what I want to I want to run a marathon, or I want it whatever it is, and then they have a concrete goal, but it really excites them. It means that it helps both the weight loss and it starts to move them forward. So they're not going to start recidivism. Right You don't get that cycle. So you really want to move it because even though you're fixing the one what you were missing that you can also transform or use that to transform them and move to the next level.

Greg Voisen
Well, let's talk about transformation. You have a chapter in the book called Practical Magic, aka transformation. Speak with our listeners about the differences between magic and transformation and why waiting on the mountainside for the bolt of lightning is that's going to come out and strike and not inside where the real transformation occurs. In other words, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, I'm gonna be able to transform like that, it's just boom, I'm gonna see this stroke of lightning, and it's gonna happen. And it's from the outside in, not the inside out. The key transformation occurs from the inside out. That's what I want you to speak about.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Exactly. And that's what you get in the constellation when you talk about that. For some people, it can take a while, but there are many people who will stand there. And they're so willing to look, and they're so willing to be there that it happens that quickly. And we'll keep layering. Absolutely. Yes, everything is within, you know, the sages have said, for how many centuries, everything you need is within you. It would just be nice if they could explain that a little bit more. So we didn't have to go internally dumpster diving. What they're saying is, you've got your lineage, whether you know it or not, it's there, you can find it, you've got your patterns, you have your thoughts, you have your feelings, you have your actions, you have your mindset, you have your truth, only it's not the truth. It's simply your truth. And the minute you begin to change that one thought, one feeling one action at a time, you can literally no longer have the same outcome in your life. And now you're also not reliving ancient history, you're creating current and future in a completely different way. So if you're going to sit in the hope that a bolt of lightning comes out, I'm sure that that does for the 1% of the 1%. Maybe we're not that evolved yet. But I think what's most important is literally everybody can improve, elevate and transform where they are now, as long as they pay attention. And as long as they really want it. Don't forget, for most of us, there's a there's a really big sleep, victimhood right now, it's very popular. And so if we're victims, we don't need to do anything, because we can just kind of hang out everybody's a victim. So it's when you start to understand that life truly is an adventure. And you truly can make it something that you love and are proud of that you begin changing those thoughts from being just somebody in a whimsical universe that might or might not like you to a co creating person, in your own world, you are not a victim in your own.

Greg Voisen
I like the fact that you speak with them as truths versus beliefs. You know, we become a knowing you know, we have a knowing of what it is, you mentioned that there are that you're constantly telling clouds that over time, the details of events fade, but the symptoms get louder and louder. Until they're seen. They're resolved and integrated, which is what you're talking about when you do the constellation, speak with us about limiting issues. And being a powerful sign that something new is needed. Now you've spoken a little bit about it. But it's kind of like maybe some people are aware of the limiting issues, and others aren't even aware of the limiting issues, because they're living in a world that is their world of beliefs, and, and thoughts. And they're not able to kind of break through three of the through, and they need something that tells them hey, this is a limiting belief. Or this is a limiting thought, this is where I am. And they don't always see it right away anyway for them to actually see it clearer, faster, quicker.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, I'm stuck. I'm stuck here. I can't do anything. Why? Well, because in the system, you're not allowed to really. Is that the truth? Or is it something that you've grown to believe I keep saying to people, not challenge the truth, but re ask yourself about that. So in our family, everybody's bad at math. When did that happen? Well, you know, I flunked on my first grade test and dad said, Don't worry, everybody's bad. Matt. Is that the truth?

Greg Voisen
I, when you say this, it's funny, and he didn't write but I remember my interviews of Byron Katie. And she always used to, you know, Byron, Katie is right. Yeah. She was saying, Is it true? Is it is it really true? Because the person would come up on stage and they, she'd say to her, she said, Mom, I relationships horrible. I'm, you know, everything's bad and you know, he's miserable. He treats me bad. She goes, Is it true? And then we think for a second we go, Well, maybe not. So is it really, really true? So I think you're absolutely right is that we, I say we're in a world of MSU, making stuff up, and then start believing the stuff that we made up. And then we start living our lives around the stuff that we made up,

Judy Wilkins-Smith
and especially the bad stuff. Yep, the bad stuff. And I don't

Greg Voisen
wear my bumper sticker is, but I have one, I should put it up. I've done it before I gotta find it again. And it says, You don't have to believe everything you think.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
I love that. It goes, I really love that. And it goes back to No, you don't. And guess what, you're actually the magician in this picture, by the way? When people say as you think so it is. We look at that and go Yeah, that's an old thing. No, it's really, really. So if I think I'm stupid, hopeless and dumb at math. Am I even going to try? No, because I'm stupid and dumb at math. But if I'm stupid and dumb at math, in my mind, and over there is that promotion I really love. But they want a math equivalent. I have a choice right now. I could undo them and start learning some of that math. Right? Yeah, it's really in our own hands. We like to think that we're victims. We also by the way, I wanted to come back to that. We love to think that suffering is sacred. And I got into big trouble for saying no, it's not if you do it all the time. It's stupid, not sacred, you're not looking?

Greg Voisen
Well, it's true that your book, decoding your emotional blueprint is certainly an opportunity for people to dig into this, as I was going through the book, I saw so much wisdom and so much opportunity. And the stepping stones that you put at the end of each chapter, are opportunities for people to actually take a deeper dive to really dig into the work. And I want to close this up with, you know, got 25 of these systemic stepping stones within the book. If you were to leave the listeners with three ideas or thoughts to contemplate regarding decoding their emotional blueprint, what advice would you like to leave with them one of these, you know, all these great chapters you've got, but if there were some true nuggets, that you'd say, Hey, here's what you could do. Because you always have now, every time we've talked, you've moved to action. So this is the action step and the interviewer, what is the action that they can take?

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Yeah, so you're not a train wreck. I don't care where you are in your life, you are not a train wreck? Have a look at what keeps coming at you all the time? What is the one that you say it's bad, and here it comes again, and then look at it and ask it what it's trying to become? That's your first one. Sit down and ask yourself, How do I feel about the way it is? And if I could change this? What do I feel about that and go through that process. So that would be one transformation is not for the chosen few. It's for anyone who chooses it at any time at any age. You don't have to be a wise eight year old and you don't have to be a dying 99 year old at any age transformation is yours. If you choose it, how do you choose it? Have a look at all of the sorts that you hold that are this is a place I love to send people, the places you're the most dogmatic? are the places where your systems are trying to change where you say it is absolutely so I will not budge off this. What happens if you do because on the other side of will not budge might be something absolutely remarkable. And then I think the third one for me, and I'll relate this to me. I was in South Africa was in the healthcare system. And one day, I was in the lab and somebody walked in and said, Hey, Bugs Bunny and I have very black tea. And I can remember standing there thinking, you know, in two years’ time the same person could come through that door and say the same thing. Or if I instead of going well My smile is fine the way it is just thought about how it could be. And I took myself off to the orthodontist today in two years’ time. That same person could come in and say oh my goodness, you have a beautiful smile. Guess you went to the orthodontist that day. And it was amazing for me that was the one so take yourself beyond your not your comfort zone, your complacency zone. Look for the adventure. Don't ever settle for less than the adventure in your life. You're doing yourself a terrible disservice because here's the deal. If you want the adventure, you can have it. Well,

Greg Voisen
that applies to so many things that happen on our life from replays ships to travel to business opportunities to ventures. It's there, you know, I've some of the widest sages have said, you know, as the boat floats down the stream, are you going to sit on the side of the stream and let float boat go by? Are you going to get on the boat and participate and ride the waves? Right? And I think as an analogy, it's a great one. Because so many people are observers. You know, there are observers, to the extent that they're complacent about it, they don't want to get on and write it because they think that the raves might be too rough. And they might fall out of the boat. Right? And

Judy Wilkins-Smith
they've been told you're small, we're all staying small. It's not about you. Only 1% of people ever get. Only 1% of people ever make it because only 1% of people think that they can start being the 10 and 20%. And let's, let's change that. Yeah.

Greg Voisen
It's perfect. This book is perfect. Decoding your emotional blueprint. We've been on with Judy Wilkins Smith. Judy, thanks so much for spending time with our listeners and insight, personal growth, and giving them an opportunity to understand more about their, I'm going to say how to decode the DNA, the history that they bring along with them that they don't even realize is really happening. And much of it is holding them back

Judy Wilkins-Smith
in the future,

Greg Voisen
and offering them an opportunity to transform the magic, the transformation. Thank you so much. Namaste to you. Thank you for your time this morning. appreciate it so much. Great interview and great opportunity to speak with you about your new book.

Judy Wilkins-Smith
Thank you and Greg, thank you for the little bit of magic that you brought.

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